Us Old Folks

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

We are 48 and 36, But both consider ourselves young.

[MissYoko 4]

hello

I'm 37 and Richard is 41 and you know what we're young!!!

LOL.

I got fitted for my walker yesterday.

LMAO you're young too!!!

what mean being old? if you still have a kids spirit, if you still have dreams... your age mean nothing!

[DerekJ 0]

hello

I'm 37 and Richard is 41 and you know what we're young!!!

LOL.

I got fitted for my walker yesterday.

LMAO you're young too!!!

what mean being old? if you still have a kids spirit, if you still have dreams... your age mean nothing!

Methinks I should have put the word in quotes!

[MissYoko 4]

Dont worry DerekJ ...

Just think that i'm a frenchie who understand english soooooooo bad

[rebeccajo 14]

hello

I'm 37 and Richard is 41 and you know what we're young!!!

LOL.

I got fitted for my walker yesterday.

LMAO you're young too!!!

what mean being old? if you still have a kids spirit, if you still have dreams... your age mean nothing!

Tell that to my knees and my back. *winks*

[u2rsobad 0]

Nice topic with interesting stories. I'm 46 and my fiance will be 33 in a couple of weeks. We've been together for just over 12 years and I lived in Japan for 15 years. I've been back in the US for 4 1/2 years now and he's decided he wants to try living his life some place new. I really miss living in Japan, more so than I ever missed living here in the US and I've told him that if this doesn't end up being a situation that he's happy with, that'll I'll happily move back to Japan. It's been a long, hard 4 1/2 years apart with him just visiting here 5 times since I left. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving 2006. The reason it's taken so long is that his parents (father) do not want foreigners in the family. He also has a very good job with the gov't there. It's taken him a long time to decide what's really most important in his life. It's a lot for him to give up; family, friends, good job and his lifestyle. I know he has anxieties about coming here, especially finding a job. His English is very good (although he didn't really speak any English when we met) and he's done lots of translations (mostly verbal) for people in his office as well as others in nearby offices as he works with Americans.

I raised both of my kids there and they're in their early 20's now. We all get along great and they're just as anxious as I am for him to come here.

I agree with most other posters here in that I don't think age has much to do with it as there pros and cons to both. Some say it's easy to pick up and go when you're young and for others it's just as easy when a bit "older". It depends on your situation and what you feel is most important in your life and what you're going to do to make the best of where ever you are. To me, as long as I'm with the one(s) I love, I can make anything work and I have.

Edited January 14, 2008 by u2rsobad

[Krikit 1,163]

Without going into specific details about my life, I'd just like to comment that we, too, are middle-aged. (Though my husband, the USC, is 6 years younger than I.) We agreed that I would be the one to relocate because of his career.

I miss my family and my friends. I miss the home I sold when I came here. I miss the 20 year career I gave up when I left. I am terrified at the loss of the substantial benefits I had enjoyed as a result of my employment. The most unexpected and difficult thing for me to deal with (other than the heartbreaking goodbyes) is how some friends and family treated me before, and after, I left. They were hurt and angry and told me that they felt abandoned. Ironically, I felt exactly the same way as a result of their treatment of me. We are slowly mending fences. But things will never be the same again, and I grieve the loss of what once was.

At the other end of the scale.... I love where I live and I love my husband. I am slowly adapting to the American way of life -- a process which is made much easier as I find favourite stores and familiarize myself with my surroundings. (It's been almost a year since I called my husband, crying, because I was hopelessly lost and couldn't find my way back home.) I have yet to venture out into the working world here. I think I'm still too raw to deal with that at the moment. But I am considering contract work or part-time employment in the future, so that I am not imprisoned by the constraints of full-time work. (Like Carla, I, too, had 8 weeks paid vacation, as well as much leeway in my former job. I can't imagine having to plan a life around only one or two weeks vacation at this point in my life.) Life would be perfect if my family and friends would move to Florida.

I would just like to add that I am not wholly unfamiliar with immigration and relocation. I am originally from England (but spent many years in Canada.) I also married at an early age and moved thousands of miles from my home when my former military husband was posted to another province. (We were posted back to my home province just a couple of years before he suddenly passed away.) Anyway.... I did have a very good idea of what I was in for emotionally. It doesn't make it any less hurtful. I just have the experience and the maturity to deal with it much better than I did when I was younger.

[rebeccajo 14]

Without going into specific details about my life, I'd just like to comment that we, too, are middle-aged. (Though my husband, the USC, is 6 years younger than I.) We agreed that I would be the one to relocate because of his career.

I miss my family and my friends. I miss the home I sold when I came here. I miss the 20 year career I gave up when I left. I am terrified at the loss of the substantial benefits I had enjoyed as a result of my employment. The most unexpected and difficult thing for me to deal with (other than the heartbreaking goodbyes) is how some friends and family treated me before, and after, I left. They were hurt and angry and told me that they felt abandoned. Ironically, I felt exactly the same way as a result of their treatment of me. We are slowly mending fences. But things will never be the same again, and I grieve the loss of what once was.

At the other end of the scale.... I love where I live and I love my husband. I am slowly adapting to the American way of life -- a process which is made much easier as I find favourite stores and familiarize myself with my surroundings. (It's been almost a year since I called my husband, crying, because I was hopelessly lost and couldn't find my way back home.) I have yet to venture out into the working world here. I think I'm still too raw to deal with that at the moment. But I am considering contract work or part-time employment in the future, so that I am not imprisoned by the constraints of full-time work. (Like Carla, I, too, had 8 weeks paid vacation, as well as much leeway in my former job. I can't imagine having to plan a life around only one or two weeks vacation at this point in my life.) Life would be perfect if my family and friends would move to Florida.

I would just like to add that I am not wholly unfamiliar with immigration and relocation. I am originally from England (but spent many years in Canada.) I also married at an early age and moved thousands of miles from my home when my former military husband was posted to another province. (We were posted back to my home province just a couple of years before he suddenly passed away.) Anyway.... I did have a very good idea of what I was in for emotionally. It doesn't make it any less hurtful. I just have the experience and the maturity to deal with it much better than I did when I was younger.

That just makes me want to hug you.........

[Krikit 1,163]

That just makes me want to hug you.........

Awwwww. Thanks RebeccaJo. You made my eyes well up. I think I'm feeling a little emotional today. Thanks for saying that. I think I needed it.

[Jeraly 4]

I actually think it's easier for the 'mature' folks to adjust to the 'small' hassles of immigrating. They seem to have a lot less trouble with things a lot of the youngsters get balled up over - like where to get good cheese, or missing TV shows from home.

But that IS important!! How will I live without decent cheese?!?!?!

ps: i try to imagine Jeraly reading my bad english with her UK accent

Prolly better than me trying to read it in a French accent

It is really interesting reading these stories Being "younger" I don't have the ties I do that "older" people may have - mortgages, children, lifelong careers etc etc, but I definitely think we find it more challenging as we have to deal with so many new life experiences to the extreme that we may never have coped with before: getting married, becoming independent, living away from home, trying to figure out mortgages, bills etc... I think when you get older you become more "steady" for want of a better word. You've had more life experience and understand better what you want out of life

[*JG* 2]

I'm not quite to your age category yet; but I did want to add a few cents here....

I think patience and a certain amount of wisdom comes with age. The older I become the more I realize it's not the end of the world if something doesn't go as planned. I find a new way around it.

Some of the best advice I have been given on here has been by those of you who are posting on this thread, whether you knew that before today or not. I appreciate the experience and gentle guidance of all of you.

[MissYoko 4]

Prolly better than me trying to read it in a French accent

I swear i dont have that stupid school french accent as i left school so young that i learned english all by myself, watching movies, singing songs etc...

[u2rsobad 0]

I'll give you a hug too {{{{Krikit}}}} (hugs) When I moved back here (my stepdad passed away and my mom needed help), I gave up my good paying job with long vacations, good benefits and most of all, had to leave my fiance. Made me really hate it here when I moved back. I couldn't find a good full-time job (high unemployment area) for nearly a year. I worked as a substitute and then got a good position running a federal grant program for the school district. All was going well, I bought a house and we were talking about him moving here, then the district ran out of matching dollars for the grant and they shut the program down Here I am a 1 1/2 years later working 3 jobs..all in different fields (1 full-time & 2 part-time) to keep up with what I had.

Not really a sad story, just seems like lots of changes. I've already had several major life changes to this point, so what's a few more

I love where I live and the new friends I've made here, but I think, like you, I'll always miss my friends and the life I had in Japan and I know it'll be the same for my fiance when he gets here.

They say the only things for certain in this life are death and taxes...I think change should be added to the list!

Keep your chin up, all in all, life is good

Edited January 14, 2008 by u2rsobad

[belinda63 2,981]

Not quite into the definition yet, I am 44 (USC) and he is 35.

I have been married and divorced, two children there and one after I was divorced. I am settled although not as well as I would like and for about 8 years was devoutly single.

I decided to take the plunge again but wanted a man who was interested in me for me, not for my looks, or material goods, sex, etc.

What I have found is my best friend, someone to share my life.

I think age doesn't matter so much as self discovery. When I married the first time I was looking for any man because I had been raised to believe a woman could not make it in life on her own.

After my divorce and discovering that I did not need anyone to help me, I finally discovered I wanted someone to share life with.

I think I have found him, and if he can ever get his visa, we will find out. Maybe I am just making another mistake but that's ok, this time I know I am strong enough to survive without him instead of putting up with years of abuse.

[KGSodie 0]

I actually think it's easier for the 'mature' folks to adjust to the 'small' hassles of immigrating. They seem to have a lot less trouble with things a lot of the youngsters get balled up over - like where to get good cheese, or missing TV shows from home.

But that IS important!! How will I live without decent cheese?!?!?!

ps: i try to imagine Jeraly reading my bad english with her UK accent

Prolly better than me trying to read it in a French accent

It is really interesting reading these stories Being "younger" I don't have the ties I do that "older" people may have - mortgages, children, lifelong careers etc etc, but I definitely think we find it more challenging as we have to deal with so many new life experiences to the extreme that we may never have coped with before: getting married, becoming independent, living away from home, trying to figure out mortgages, bills etc... I think when you get older you become more "steady" for want of a better word. You've had more life experience and understand better what you want out of life

Yes, and plus "steady" means our centers of gravity tend to be lower, so we're MUCH harder to tip over.