1001 Questions to ask before marriage

[Jaseball 0]

I thought I would share an idea with the group here on something I did a few months ago. There is this book for couples engaged or considering marriage, which lists out 1001 or so questions that couples face.

It goes into great detail on how you handle relatives, your morals, how you spend/save, future goals, thoughts on children, division of chores, vacation likes, conflict resolution, sexual needs/frequency, etc.

Since I speak, but don't read Chinese, but my girl can read, write, and speak English I bought two copies of this book and I have been filling one out and I sent one to her and she has been filling it out.

It gives us both many things to consider and gives us the chance to really examine how we view things, so hopefully the topics covered will not be a surprise after marriage. We both know things do change and we will evolve, but certain expectations are now written down and discussed.

Sometimes we'll go over some topics when we contact each other via mail, email, phone, or video conferencing, but I was thinking when we both finish we can either mail the books back to each other and read through what the other wrote in detail.

I think the book will also help in the interview because it shows the work and thought put into the relationship and marriage, as well as demonstrates how we both take the marriage as a serious commitment.

Any others out there who have done something like this or who have read question books of this type?

[Amby 490]

I guess this is a good idea but after dating for a few years I don't think we really needed something like that. We know pretty much everything about one another.

[Nessa 23]

WE covered everything during the time we had to spend apart talking on the internet.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

This would not be for me. I prefer getting to know someone naturally and discuss things as they arise. I also like a little surprise and disagreement in a relationship. I'm not into "interviewing" a lady to make sure she qualifies as my future wife. 1001 questions, forget it.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I'm not into "interviewing" a lady to make sure she qualifies as my future wife. 1001 questions, forget it.

There's enough of that kind of garbage at work, no need to let it intrude on your personal life.

[Jenn! 918]

Ditto to what others have said. I don't like checklists and I don't like self-help literature. This is a combination of the two, sounds like a big chore.

But if it works for you, then great!

[Caladan 19]

This would not be for me. I prefer getting to know someone naturally and discuss things as they arise. I also like a little surprise and disagreement in a relationship. I'm not into "interviewing" a lady to make sure she qualifies as my future wife. 1001 questions, forget it.

I don't think that's the point of the book, if I understand Jaseball correctly. It's more like the questions one would face in a marriage preparation class. We had to do one through church, and you'd be surprised how many couples manage to get engaged without ever having talked about whether either of them wants children. Or how they would share finances. It's not as much about interviewing the other person as it is interviewing yourself.

[Krikit 1,163]

I've seen books of those type. Some of them have great questions in them. I think if you enjoy it and you're having fun with it, go for it! Besides... if you're writing down the answers and keeping the books, they're going to come in pretty handy during future arguments.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

Look at the bright side, you'll never see the inside of a kitchen again.

[Krikit 1,163]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

This is gonna hurt.

[Jenn! 918]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

This is all your fault.

Did I get it right?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I understand what the book is trying to do. My point is it's more fun and interesting to discover the answers and the questions along the way. I would never attend a church that required I attend anything. Of course, there are lame brains, e.g., that marry in Las Vegas over a bet or a spur of the moment, whatever. But, for a serious couple, time will give you all the answers you need.

I don't think that's the point of the book, if I understand Jaseball correctly. It's more like the questions one would face in a marriage preparation class. We had to do one through church, and you'd be surprised how many couples manage to get engaged without ever having talked about whether either of them wants children. Or how they would share finances. It's not as much about interviewing the other person as it is interviewing yourself.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

This is all your fault.

Did I get it right?

If only we were both still single.

[Krikit 1,163]

Question #576: If you and your spouse were facing certain doom, tied and on a plank above a moat filled with alligators, what would you say?

This is all your fault.

Did I get it right?

DING DING DING!!! We got a weeener!!!