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Is it bad that I want to change my maid of honor?

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L_n_O Experienced

L_n_O   3

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AOS despair, your story about your friend really helped. I know I'd just be stressed, like I've been now, for the rest of the 10 months if I hadn't done what I did.

I also feel that our friendship has been rather one-sided too.. I don't feel guilty about my decision but I am saddened that what friendship we did have, could very well be severed because of an ego-driven reaction.

I'm not surprised, I'm just saddened.

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Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   14,800

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she sounds like a person who likes to control through guilt and shame..f##k her..and drive on

nicer than what my advice would be...... :whistle:

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KarenCee Veteran

KarenCee   3

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*HUGS* Now you can focus on making the wedding a day to remember, rather than dealing with a selfish self centred person as she obviously is. Hope the rest of the plans go smoothly for you and Ol. :)

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trailmix Grand Master

trailmix   77

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Whew! Well I'm glad that is over for you and you did handle it well. I was surprised she still wanted to go look at dresses, not surprised she called back and told you she no longer wanted to be part of it.

The thing is, the MOH is more than just a 'figure head' and apparently she didn't realize that it comes with responsibility - which is usually a joyful responsibility for most people. I still think she didn't really want to do it (too much effort) but probably hadn't realized it, but now she can blame it on you.

However, Onward! You now don't have to worry about it and you will have a wonderful wonderful wedding!!

bostonparis Proficient

bostonparis   0

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Good for you, and to be honest, I'm glad for you that she backed out of your wedding entirely. She sounds like the type of person who really could have made your special day very difficult. You don't want HER to be what you remember most about your wedding.

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govols Community Regular

govols   1

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Liz,

I feel that you did the right thing too. You do not need to have so much pressure on you while planning such an important day. This is NOT about her, it is about you. Let her go and sulk for a while. If she is a true friend, she will come around. If not, just let it go.

Have a fun time planning your special event!

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L_n_O Experienced

L_n_O   3

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Thanks guys.. I gotta talk to the other bridesmaid (Not my Ottawa friend) about whether she's okay with all this and still being in the wedding party too. She's been Jen (my ex MOH) friend for about 15 years and mine for only 2. I'll tell her that if she isn't comfortable with it because of what's happened, I'm okay with that. I don't want to get in the way of their friendship.

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almaty Grand Master

almaty   19

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What??? :unsure::unsure::unsure: I was serious..... :crying::crying::crying:

liz thinks you are a chopf##k...per rumor

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Toronto/New York Contributor

Toronto/New York   0

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Also consider that you may not only be getting rid of a maid of honour but also the loss of a friend.

i went through something similar - it was very disappointing - i decided to have a talk with her seeing as she had been a friend since we were kids. all is great now - she didn't realize the way she was acting and how unsupportive she was being. she was awesome on the wedding day. Can you have a talk with her? tell her that you expected more from her and that you are hurt. be calm - you'll get your point across and hopefully have a great maid of honour in the end.

Darlene & Anthony

Fandango Grand Master

Fandango   1,440

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Also consider that you may not only be getting rid of a maid of honour but also the loss of a friend.

i went through something similar - it was very disappointing - i decided to have a talk with her seeing as she had been a friend since we were kids. all is great now - she didn't realize the way she was acting and how unsupportive she was being. she was awesome on the wedding day. Can you have a talk with her? tell her that you expected more from her and that you are hurt. be calm - you'll get your point across and hopefully have a great maid of honour in the end.

Keep reading the thread...she's out as MOH and now the ex MOH doesn't wanna be in the bridal party.

 

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