MY WIFE HAS MENTAL DISORDER

[Mags 112]

My ex-wife of 23 years had bi-polar mental illness and I divorsed her after years and years of living with her abuse. I know the feeling of living with someone with this type of illness. There were times when she too would act as if she could harm someone especially when she was manic. If she ever got so sick that she became phycotic, she would hear voices (some from God) and stay in the malls just shopping and would write so many bad checks for me to pay. She was hospitalized each year for several weeks at a time over the past 5 years. Each episode or relapse were worse each time. She lost her personality and was not the same person I originally married. She was very mean to her kids too. I'm not exagerating any of this, even her own mother disowned her after unsuccessfully trying to help her daughter.

My ex would also have a stomach virus occationally but we found out it was from her drinking coffee. Coffee and or alcohol would not mix with her medication I remember.

There's much more to this life long story but I really would just like to remain on the topic concerning your marrige for now.

If you love your wife get her some professional help ASAP. Sounds like she is suffering from Bi Polar Mental Illness and needs medication. Remember this illness in not contagious and can be treated. Many people who take their med's live happy lives.

George

*echoes what Meow mix said*

Please do not try to diagnose the OP's wife, we do not know enough about the situation to even make a half ways decent attempt at what may or may not be wrong. It's isn't our place to diagnose, nor are the majority of us qualified to do so.

Thank you.

[MargotDarko 0]

Claudeth has OCD and that drives me crazy from time to time

Everyone seems to have some form of OCD in some way or another ... the whole toothpaste tube thing ect ect ...

Claudeth is into counting and turning lights off and on several times. She is so cute but with she could control it, sometimes she gets so involved that we are late leaving the house

Does your insurance cover some help for that? There are different therapies available for it. And (this is an educated guess) I would think it's easier to help in the beginning stages.

It does but she is embarrassed about it to the point that she doesn't like talking to the Doc. He did give her some meds that kind of helped so maybe she will continue to pursue it.

Aww, there's definitely no need to feel embarrassed! Perhaps it's different in the Phillippines, but you can reassure her that in the states most doctors are very willing to help and will be totally understanding. If she runs into one who isn't, just change doctors! There should be some non-medication therapies as well - even just talking to someone about it, who is qualified, can help.

[boo boo 1]

Hello Everyone,

Oh thank God i found this website i have been reading through many threads i see different people post their problem here so i thought i could post mine here too.

I got here on a K3 visa it just about a week since i got here when i met my wife(USC) about 2004 we married she told me she has some kind of depression in her, what i use to know is that depression is you cry whenever you are not happy or something of that nature.

For the past few days i have been here i came to find out that she has some kind of mental disorder and she is taking medication for it not only that she has so many secret around her about her health just this morning i came just i came to find out that she has a stomach virus she say i never heard stomach virus in entire whole life and sometimes she just starts crying for no reason when i ask her what is making her cry she will say she don't know plus sometimes she tells me that she hear voices, i asked what kind of voices do you hear she will always say she don't....As the day goes by i keep discovering one thing or the othe about her, please help me i so scared that i might get infected with one of her health problems(Diseases)..

Like i said i just got here going to a week now, I dont have EAD nor have a filed for AOS i only have my K3 visa and the I-94 in passport i really dont know what do to i am from Nigeria i so so scared that my health is in danger .....PLEASE GUYS HELP ME OUT WHAT SHOULD I DO. I am actually thinking of running away from here i have a friend in florida whom i can stay with but the point is if i run away from here how do i file for EAD and AOS is it possible to do that without my wife??

Please VJers help me before i kill myself.

Regards,

Robert

[boo boo 1]

First of all...what is running away going to do? It makes it seem like you did not enter your marriage in good faith...if you think running away will help solve your problem. I am married to a Nigerian...who loves me...accepts me for who I am....your wife need's your love and support to help her conquer her illness.

If you REALLY love your wife...then help her....be supportive..be nurturing. What kind of morals and values do you have if you are going to vanish from your wife's life and go be with a "friend" in FL? I bet she has invested ALOT into your marriage...and this is how you pay her back? Shame on you.

Be open and honest w/ her....be supportive...show her that you are concerned about her health!!!!!!!!!!! I pray that you do what is right...remember you reap what you sow....Do good and you will harvest...do bad and it will come back in 10 folds. Have a blessed day )

[irene 0]

IF you are looking for someone to come in here, pat you on your head and say tell you go ahead and leave your wife after a week (isn't it convenient you have a "friend" in Florida!), me thinks you're out of luck.

lol very agree with this comment ur out of luck looking for someone to agree on ur ridiculous speculations about depression and stomach illness but on the other hand its really depressing and u can have stomach knowing that u cannot apply for AOS w/o ur wife, so think think think ..... hahaha

[Jasman0717 8]

Claudeth has OCD and that drives me crazy from time to time

Everyone seems to have some form of OCD in some way or another ... the whole toothpaste tube thing ect ect ...

Claudeth is into counting and turning lights off and on several times. She is so cute but with she could control it, sometimes she gets so involved that we are late leaving the house

Does your insurance cover some help for that? There are different therapies available for it. And (this is an educated guess) I would think it's easier to help in the beginning stages.

It does but she is embarrassed about it to the point that she doesn't like talking to the Doc. He did give her some meds that kind of helped so maybe she will continue to pursue it.

Aww, there's definitely no need to feel embarrassed! Perhaps it's different in the Phillippines, but you can reassure her that in the states most doctors are very willing to help and will be totally understanding. If she runs into one who isn't, just change doctors! There should be some non-medication therapies as well - even just talking to someone about it, who is qualified, can help.

We talk about it a lot but I am starting to think it is just the Filipina way to procrastinate

[charlie_brown 0]

This is the same guy that was posting about how his wife was abusing him and he wanted to know if he could stay in the US.

[athena_ny 1]

This is the same guy that was posting about how his wife was abusing him and he wanted to know if he could stay in the US.

Figured it was someone we'd seen before. How quickly the story changes...

I had to call people out on fraud, but I'm sorry, that's all I can think right now.

[Jasman0717 8]

This is the same guy that was posting about how his wife was abusing him and he wanted to know if he could stay in the US.

Figured it was someone we'd seen before. How quickly the story changes...

I had to call people out on fraud, but I'm sorry, that's all I can think right now.

There are four threads with a similar theme.

[charlie_brown 0]

[foxyroxy 0]

Mystical -

I think this is a classic case of making a mountain out of a molehill. MANY people suffer from depression and take medication to treat it. A lot of those same individuals continue to have happy married lives.

Difference being their spouses love and support them no matter what 'mental disorder' they may have.

You shouldn't be asking advice from us.....you should go to the doctor/psychiatrist ASAP and have your wife checked. Do you really really really LOVE HER? Try looking beyond her diseases and try looking to a more positive outlook by helping her. She loves you.....have you ever thought about that? have you ever thought about what she would do if you runaway and leaver her in her depression? Why are you thinking only of yourself? Try all the possible solutions and talk to the right persons.....here in VJ we are your friends and we can only do so much. You both need professional help so go find it for the sake of saving your marriage. If that's what you want......think about it.

[Mystical 0]

First of all...what is running away going to do? It makes it seem like you did not enter your marriage in good faith...if you think running away will help solve your problem. I am married to a Nigerian...who loves me...accepts me for who I am....your wife need's your love and support to help her conquer her illness.

If you REALLY love your wife...then help her....be supportive..be nurturing. What kind of morals and values do you have if you are going to vanish from your wife's life and go be with a "friend" in FL? I bet she has invested ALOT into your marriage...and this is how you pay her back? Shame on you.

Be open and honest w/ her....be supportive...show her that you are concerned about her health!!!!!!!!!!! I pray that you do what is right...remember you reap what you sow....Do good and you will harvest...do bad and it will come back in 10 folds. Have a blessed day )

First of all i thank you all for your kind advices. I want you all to know that i love my wife like other say on here that i am trying to scam her for getting the GC this is not tru atall....I really want to help me wife she needs me i didnt mean it that way that was going to run away...But what i am trying to say that i have never come across such situation my life....

Just now before i came online my wife called me and held me in the hand took me outside asking me is it raning or sunshine, started saying things that are not there u know.....I am not running away she needs me here, why i said that was going to run was that i thought i could get infected with her mental problem.... But all the same i will stand behind my wife and give her the support and care she needs from me.....And please guys i am NOT here to scam the GC i used to live big back then in Nigeria..

Once again thanks for your advices

Roberts

[desert_fox 32]

Please VJers help me before i kill myself.

Regards,

Robert

sorry we couldn't help.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

If you really love your wife, you will be beside her regardless of of any medical condition.

Ya'all dont seems to understand what i am talking about , i wanna help her but the mental problem is giving me a second thought she might just wake up in the middle of the night and do something very funny like harm herself or someone around her. I really do love my wife and that is why we have came this far.

Someone please understand me here mental problem is a serious thing.. I AM AWARE OF THE DEPRESSION THING But the mental problem God! Just this morning i found out that she usually have stomach virus and that is contagious whenever she gets stomach virus she goes to the toilet and start to have headache, now as i type this messages i have been infected with the so called stomach virus.....I dont know what i am going to find out next.

Roberts

Maybe is it possible that you are confounding a stomach virus with symptoms of another condition that you might be afraid of, which could have long term effects or suggest long term illness? A stomach virus runs its course in a matter of days. Your wife may have a system that is more prone to such upsets, but it does not necessarily signal that she will be chronicly ill. Take this time to become more familiar with the common nature of stomach ailments, on the Internet. There's really nothing to fear, and the more educated you are of them should asuage any fears you already have.

Why is everone talking about the stomach virus I AM NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THE STOMACH VIRUS ....Talk about the mental disorder .

I know that I should read everything first, but let me just say that I imagine in your culture, mental disorders are hidden. We don't call a general sadness "depression" in this country. We just call it sadness. Depression in this country is a mental disorder that is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. It is treated with medication and people live very normal lives with it. It does however, require patience and support from their mates. You have to learn the differences from Nigeria and here.

Secondly, when I'm on my womanly cycle, I cry at an instance for no reason. A tv commerical can set me off or a horn beeping at a traffic light. It's hormonal and normal and goes away in a week or so. Deal with it, she's a woman and she's different from you. You're not in danger right now from the things you have shared with us here. Take some time to learn more about your wife and your new home. The adjustment period will be difficult. I think there are some people here from Nigeria that have more experience with the cultural adjustments and can give you some perspective.

Good Luck!

[PaulineA 1]

I find it strange that you obviously did not know your wife or how severe her condition was before you came to live here. You've known her since 2004 and yet you didn't know how bad her illness was? Good luck to you.