Who deserves a Gold Watch?

[rebeccajo 14]

Sure there are 'cliques'. Even though it's 'just' a message board, people make friends just like they do in real life. So it's just natural.

IMO there's a lot of frayed nerves around here. This is a stressful and complicated process. People get bent out of shape pretty easily. I think we should try and make allowances for the stress factor whenever possible when dealing with each other around here.

There's a little grey area you don't understand when you first join here and you begin wanting to share with others what you have learned. And that's the fact that there is a LOT of 'grey' in immigration. Back when I first started posting to help, I used to see Yodrak and meauxna sort of following me around and cleaning up after me if I misposted. It was frustrating at first but I saw quickly what they were doing. They would say something to the effect of 'yes you are correct BUT' and continue to elaborate a 'devilish detail'. I got to where I enjoyed (and still do) their follow-ups to my musings. I found that if I asked them to further explain their point that I was drinking from a fountain of information. PLUS I was learning another valuable point - to be careful how I answered lest I unintentionally mislead someone with my good intent.

Long missive there I know - but the point is - it's not always 'clique-ishness'. It's simply those with longer journeys trying to share. And that may look like 'ganging up' against newer members if they assume all the 'old-timers' are part of an exclusive club. Fact is we aren't - we know each other but we aren't a wolf pack. Most of us are far too independent for that!

[Dr_LHA 3]

Ah yes the good old days, where I'd regularly incur the firey wrath of RJ for nitpicking one of her posts.

[Jenn! 918]

90 days, 3 months, same thing.

[no name 1]

Ah yes the good old days, where I'd regularly incur the firey wrath of RJ for nitpicking one of her posts.

hey, you are guilty too, mister!

[Dr_LHA 3]

Ah yes the good old days, where I'd regularly incur the firey wrath of RJ for nitpicking one of her posts.

hey, you are guilty too, mister!

The drugs are working better these days.... and the beer.

[rebeccajo 14]

It really boils down to friendliness and I recall comments made by various members on several occasions to the effect that showing kindness, being tactful, or just holding your tongue is just 'blowing daisies out of your #######' or 'bunnies and rainbows'...something to that sort. This is what I'm talking about with setting the tone - the overall atmosphere of this site.

IMO those comments can be a ruse - an excuse - for flamebaiting.

Honesty and frankness are great human traits. But take it too far and it turns into nosiness and cruelty.

People are members here because of a romantic relationship. People here are from various cultures. Some of those cultures are steeped in religious belief.

You asked me earlier, Steven, if I resent those who post here for entertainment or amusement and I answered 'no'. But - if you are amusing yourself at the expense of others by querying deeply into their relationship, questioning the operation of customs in their culture, or dissecting their religious beliefs - I believe you have crossed a line.

Ah yes the good old days, where I'd regularly incur the firey wrath of RJ for nitpicking one of her posts.

Ya, but we worked it out, right?

*blows Doc a kiss*

90 days, 3 months, same thing.

Emmmm.....is that an I94 reference? (Must have been a thread I missed).......

[Jenn! 918]

90 days, 3 months, same thing.

Emmmm.....is that an I94 reference? (Must have been a thread I missed).......

No, I just remember giving the 3 month answer more than once regarding removal of conditions and had Meaux very kindly correct me...

[rebeccajo 14]

90 days, 3 months, same thing.

Emmmm.....is that an I94 reference? (Must have been a thread I missed).......

No, I just remember giving the 3 month answer more than once regarding removal of conditions and had Meaux very kindly correct me...

LOL............and she probably made you laugh when she did it, too!

[Dr_LHA 3]

Ya, but we worked it out, right?

*blows Doc a kiss*

Would seem like it.

[almaty 19]

Ya, but we worked it out, right?

*blows Doc a kiss*

Would seem like it.

get a room....

[GabachaYucateca 0]

Point taken, Rebecca. I much rather prefer your view that it's familiarity not cliquish-ness.

Edited August 3, 2007 by GabachaYucateca

[ChristinaM 0]

One can also have boxes and hearts and not really be a part of the community - which goes back to the issue of where one "earned their stripes", if you like. LisaD mentioned that she sees them as a sign of how much time she has wasted on here - not everyone posts in the same places on the board. It is important IMO for people who don't venture into the more social places on the board (OT, for example) to have recognition as valuable members too, and to have a level of "immigration knowledge seniority", if you like, that the newer members can look up to.

Since I didn't do that K1 I don't play in that forum and I don't know how bad the problems are. I do know that when I have made time to help someone in the AOS forum and been trashed for it by a newbie, I am not inclined to help again. Perhaps if we start letting people who don't listen make their mistakes they will report back and others will see that the help of those offering it is valuable. After all, there is none so deaf as he who will not hear, and all that.

[no name 1]

One can also have boxes and hearts and not really be a part of the community - which goes back to the issue of where one "earned their stripes", if you like.

It has been brought up before - but if OT posts won't show as 'new posts' on the main landing page, shouldn't posting in there also not 'count' as well?

Edited August 3, 2007 by devilette

[ChristinaM 0]

I agree - that way someone new to the site could get a sense of who was active in immigration as opposed to simply a "big noise" on the boards. Of course simply being active in the immigration sections doesn't ensure knowledge, but it has to be a better indicator than having over 75% of your posts be OT.

Maybe newer members would be more inclined to respect the older posters on immigration matters if they knew that the only way to get those boxes and hearts was to be active in the pursuit of immigration facts, be they offering or questioning.

[John & Annie 0]

One can also have boxes and hearts and not really be a part of the community - which goes back to the issue of where one "earned their stripes", if you like.

It has been brought up before - but if OT posts won't show as 'new posts' on the main landing page, shouldn't posting in there also not 'count' as well?

The other thing to realize about the boxes and hearts is that track the number of posts, not the quality. Any chimp can add a "congats!!" to a post to get boxes and hearts.