Steps to bring in partner - staying, visiting, health insurance

[jaydnynj 1]

38 minutes ago, apond said:

Response is “visiting my spouse or getting married ”.  I married my wife in Canada and my response when I crossed was I’m getting married.  No issues. My wife is Canadian and I crossed 7 times. Each time that was my response. I never had an issue. She did however have issues last time she came here because of the i130 being in process. 

Thanks, helpful to know. I thought I wasn’t allowed or shouldn’t say things like “I’m going to get married” or “i just got married”. I guess a good way to look at it, is you’re allowed to get married, customs on both sides job is just to ensure you’re not overstaying or immigrating illegally (correct me if I’m wrong).

[mam521 1,742]

It sounds like you and your partner are pretty independent people.  Consider how that independence would change if you did a fiance visa (that you're no longer eligible for anyway) or adjusting status (fraud at this point).  She goes from being independent with her own identity, in a city she loves and knows, surrounded by friends and family to suddenly, she's literally stuck in the US, unable to travel outside of the US, no longer has her job, her friend group and her family.  She's essentially on your turf and goes from being independent to dependent - pretty hard pill to swallow for some people.  This is a terrible and challenging way to start any relationship and puts undue stress on what should be a time of happiness and discovery as you build the foundation of your marriage.  

 

Do the CR-1.  Continue to court each other as you have for the past number of years.  Have her enter, able to work, drive, have a bank account - all the things she has and is entitled to.  Join in a partnership, build that union in equality.  Immigration, is stressful enough without the added stresses of clipping one partner's wings of independence.  20 years from now, you'll look back and say "well, that sucked, but it really was but a blip in our time together".  

[jaydnynj 1]

25 minutes ago, mam521 said:

It sounds like you and your partner are pretty independent people.  Consider how that independence would change if you did a fiance visa (that you're no longer eligible for anyway) or adjusting status (fraud at this point).  She goes from being independent with her own identity, in a city she loves and knows, surrounded by friends and family to suddenly, she's literally stuck in the US, unable to travel outside of the US, no longer has her job, her friend group and her family.  She's essentially on your turf and goes from being independent to dependent - pretty hard pill to swallow for some people.  This is a terrible and challenging way to start any relationship and puts undue stress on what should be a time of happiness and discovery as you build the foundation of your marriage.  

 

Do the CR-1.  Continue to court each other as you have for the past number of years.  Have her enter, able to work, drive, have a bank account - all the things she has and is entitled to.  Join in a partnership, build that union in equality.  Immigration, is stressful enough without the added stresses of clipping one partner's wings of independence.  20 years from now, you'll look back and say "well, that sucked, but it really was but a blip in our time together".  

We’re pretty independent, probably in large part from being in a long distance relationship for so long. The stay at home life is more her idea and desire, but I get where you’re coming from and agree, especially to your point that we’ve been together this long, what’s another year or two to get it right. Plus will give me more time to prepare, financially and just in general. Thanks for the encouragement, I’m very concerned about getting the immigration steps done right so we can start our lives the right and best way so appreciate the insight (and from everyone here too)

[EmilyW 1,226]

There is stay at home life, and there is stay at home life where you are entirely dependent on your partner and restricted in so many day to day tasks.  That is, not being able to work, drive (depending on the jurisdiction), isolation that might come if you're working and she's not, developing a friendship network.

 

You seem like you love her dearly and want her to be happy.  It's worth you both sitting down and figuring out what matters (beyond the usual 'we're in love and want to be together as soon as possible) and planning your immigration journey accordingly.  Not immigration advice: just my opinion.  I wish you both the best of luck.  

[SalishSea 16,826]

19 hours ago, jaydnynj said:

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a new member, so please excuse any non-intentional breaches of etiquette.

 

I'm a native of and live in the NYC area, and my S.O. is a native of and lives in the GTA (Canada). We've been together and have known each other for more than seven years. The idea is for her to move down here in about 4-6 months (our timeline). She will be a stay at home wife/mom. No kids right now for either of us (we're late 20's/early 30's in age). We haven't started any paperwork yet, and our case, I feel, is pretty straight-forward - we don't have any criminal record or overstays, and have a real, bonafide relationship with years of established photos and trips. She currently works in Canada and I have a full time job as well in the NYC area.

 

We recently did a religious ceremony in Canada that had no official documentation, or filings with the Canadian locality. This was for the sake of her customs and family, to allow her to travel freely in accordance with her own customs and culture, not for any paperwork or certs.

 

-Based on those circumstances, what is the best route to her coming down and having some sort of status the quickest? Would that be the fiance K1 visa?

-What if we got married, either in a third country or in the US (after the 90-day period), and then she just stayed permanently and we filed for the spouse visa (CR1?)

 

 

-In both of those cases, would there be a gap period, mainly in terms of health insurance? Healthcare, as I'm sure you all know, is expensive in the US, and I'd want to add her to my insurance, but I don't think I'd be able to until she had some sort of legal status, right? Any insight or anecdotes anyone can share on health insurance for your partner during the wait, in case they got sick or hurt and needed to go to the doctor, or if we decided to have a baby during the "wait" period either after she came down on the K1, or after filing paperwork for the CR1 in the 2nd option I mentioned above?

 

-How would it work if she came down, stood at least 90 days, then we got civilly married in the US and filed for the spouse visa? Would it be an auto-reject because it's considered visa fraud? Would we need to act like "oh, we weren't planning this and then it just happened"? If we got married in a third country and then went back to the US, do we tell the CBP officer that we got married in the third country (or are we obligated to)?

 

-In what scenarios can she leave the country or travel (or not)? Can she fly intra-US while waiting for status, or is it going to come up that she's on an overstay or has an immigration doc pending?

 

Essentially, I'm just trying to get an idea on the best route forward to unite based on our intention of her coming down by ~mid-year, and having health insurance coverage through my policy as soon as possible after coming down. Since the plan is for her to be a stay at home, work papers aren't as important at this time.

 

Thank you in advance for any insight and advice on these points!

You need to radically modify your timeline.   It will take around two years for her to immigrate.   In the meantime, she can visit per entry by CBP.

[SalishSea 16,826]

16 hours ago, jaydnynj said:

Thank you for the response. So the religious ceremony invalidates the possibility of a K1 even though there is no official record of it? How would immigration or customs know that we even had one since there’s no record of it happening?

It does invalidate it, unfortunately.  Your option is CR-1.

[SalishSea 16,826]

3 hours ago, jaydnynj said:

Hey thanks for the response. I like the idea of making it fun, definitely makes it easier. Thanks for sharing as well. Usually at the border they’ll ask additional questions so in this case it would probably go like “attend a wedding? Who’s wedding?” Etc. So is it ok to be up front and honest about my reason for going to Canada to marry civilly then do the I-130 to both the Canadian CBSA going in and then coming back with US CBP? 

 

Just trying to understand the angle and what is permissible. I just don’t want to run across an issue at the Canadian border if I answer the wrong way and they don’t let me in, for example, or likewise on the return trip home to the US get flagged for saying I attended my own wedding.

You both need to be absolutely honest when questioned by border patrol or immigration.   Lying is never worth it-  it can lead to an eventual lifetime ban.

 

Show evidence of ties to home by not taking a U-Hail full of furniture when you cross to visit.   Don’t quit jobs or sell property or relocate pets etc.

[jaydnynj 1]

6 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

You need to radically modify your timeline.   It will take around two years for her to immigrate.   In the meantime, she can visit per entry by CBP.

Thank you, and for confirming the K1 invalidation and border crossing etiquette. That was our personal timeline based on thinking that she can just come down whenever and stay permanently on a visitor visa and adjust status while waiting for the spouse visa (or until the spouse visa went thru), but based on the previous comments, I now realize that is not feasible or allowed with immigration.

That’s also why I was asking about the health insurance, I thought that if she was able to stay here until the spouse visa went through, that she’d need health insurance coverage during the gap time between her coming down permanently and getting the visa/any official status likely the year or two later (that was my thought at the time before learning more about the process here)

[SalishSea 16,826]

Just now, jaydnynj said:

Thank you, and for confirming the K1 invalidation and border crossing etiquette. That was our personal timeline based on thinking that she can just come down whenever and stay permanently on a visitor visa and adjust status while waiting for the spouse visa (or until the spouse visa went thru), but based on the previous comments, I now realize that is not feasible or allowed with immigration.

That’s also why I was asking about the health insurance, I thought that if she was able to stay here until the spouse visa went through, that she’d need health insurance coverage during the gap time between her coming down permanently and getting the visa/any official status likely the year or two later (that was my thought at the time before learning more about the process here)

Right.   That plan would only work if a person lies to CBP, as you’re finding out.

 

Also worth noting:  she will not be allowed to work remotely while visiting, per the terms of a nonimmigrant visa/entry for Canadians.   Months-long visits to the US by young people is of interest to CBP,  who will wonder how she can afford to do that.

[jaydnynj 1]

Hello and thank you everyone for the messages, responses and advice! I really appreciate the time effort and thoughtfulness. I plan to participate more here and offer whatever input I can to help others as well. I feel like I have an idea of how things need to go from here (although please continue to message, respond, and offer any thoughts!) 

 

as a final check on the cadence of how things should go, can someone confirm I’m on the right track with these next steps?

 

1) schedule the civil marriage ceremony in Toronto, CA

2) go up for civil marriage. at Canadian border, CBSA agent: “why are you coming to canada?” Me: “to get married”

3) on the way back home, US CBP: “why were you in Canada?” Me: “I married my girlfriend”

4) file I-130 CR1 petition, wait out the 1.5-2 yr CR1 process, while she is in Canada and I’m in the US

5) sequential visits in between the wait: “visiting my spouse” (either for her visiting me or me visiting her, whether it’s going into Canada or the US). Don’t bring anything that would trigger a concern about a long term stay. Have things ready to show that link her back to Canada (bank account statement, pay stub). Being up front about the I-130 pending
6) hopefully CR1 is approved after the 2yr wait, visa issued and she moves down

[apond 23]

1 hour ago, jaydnynj said:

Hello and thank you everyone for the messages, responses and advice! I really appreciate the time effort and thoughtfulness. I plan to participate more here and offer whatever input I can to help others as well. I feel like I have an idea of how things need to go from here (although please continue to message, respond, and offer any thoughts!) 

 

as a final check on the cadence of how things should go, can someone confirm I’m on the right track with these next steps?

 

1) schedule the civil marriage ceremony in Toronto, CA

2) go up for civil marriage. at Canadian border, CBSA agent: “why are you coming to canada?” Me: “to get married”

3) on the way back home, US CBP: “why were you in Canada?” Me: “I married my girlfriend”

4) file I-130 CR1 petition, wait out the 1.5-2 yr CR1 process, while she is in Canada and I’m in the US

5) sequential visits in between the wait: “visiting my spouse” (either for her visiting me or me visiting her, whether it’s going into Canada or the US). Don’t bring anything that would trigger a concern about a long term stay. Have things ready to show that link her back to Canada (bank account statement, pay stub). Being up front about the I-130 pending
6) hopefully CR1 is approved after the 2yr wait, visa issued and she moves down

that’s how it went for me and my wife. I will say I always got more questions coming back into the US than entering Canada. My wife had no issues  Coming here once after the 130 but the second time she was brought into secondary for 45 mins ( quiet land crossing in NB) and the agent made told her every entry now would be harder. They did allow her in though. 
 

Edited January 31, 2023 by apond

[jaydnynj 1]

5 minutes ago, apond said:

that’s how it went for me and my wife. I will say I always got more questions coming back into the US than entering Canada. My wife had nonissuws

Coming here once after the 130 but the second time she was brought into secondary for 45 mins ( quiet land crossing in NB) and the agent made told her every entry now would be harder. They did allow her in though. 
 

Thank you. Yeah I usually always get grilled harder coming back to the US than going into Canada even as a US citizen

[apond 23]

1 minute ago, jaydnynj said:

Thank you. Yeah I usually always get grilled harder coming back to the US than going into Canada even as a US citizen

Yep. The only time my car was ‘searched’ was coming back in here lol Twice. I just giggle. 

[mam521 1,742]

20 hours ago, jaydnynj said:

We’re pretty independent, probably in large part from being in a long distance relationship for so long. The stay at home life is more her idea and desire, but I get where you’re coming from and agree, especially to your point that we’ve been together this long, what’s another year or two to get it right. Plus will give me more time to prepare, financially and just in general. Thanks for the encouragement, I’m very concerned about getting the immigration steps done right so we can start our lives the right and best way so appreciate the insight (and from everyone here too)

It's ok in theory, but when push comes to shove, an independent person will often find it harder than they think.  Always better to have options! 

 

I'm speaking from experience - both as the independent person (I packed up and moved 14 hours from home to a different province way up north with no supports for work independent) who thought a year off for maternity leave would be a piece of cake (LOVE my kids, but losing my identity to become Kid1 and Kid2's mom rather than myself was tough) and the person who thought immigrating to the States would be easy because com'mon...I've spent TONS of time there (still different from Canada, despite the amount of time I'd lived in the States for work, often months at a time).  When I initially came, I was on a work visa, so I had a lot of freedom (driver's license, credit history) and my job.  I can't imagine how challenging it would have been had I been on a TD and my ex was the only one working.  I can only do so much PTA stuff for school and crave intellectual stimulation.  Work allowed me to be surrounded by like minded people, many of whom are either on work visas or have pulled the trigger and become PR's or naturalized.  

 

You guys will be OK doing the CR-1.  You basically continue on as you are, but add some paperwork on top of it all.  You'll have tons of evidence for your application having been together so long.  It's a short term struggle for long term gain.