K1 Regret

[Scouser92 6]

Hi guys, hope your all doing well, I've been following the forum in regards to obtaining our k1 visa for a few months now. 

 

In short, I regret moving to the states to be with my wife. And I just need to vent or seek advice. 

 

It took approximately seven months to obtain the visa and to move here. I've been here about 11 weeks now. 

 

The problem is that we don't get along. 

 

She is controlling and verbally abusive, putting me down almost every day. 

 

She won't allow me to go on Facebook because of her jealousy. She says this is normal as we are married now and doesn't have want me to talk to women. Even though this is the only means of communicating with my brother who I haven't spoken to since I've been here. She has a Facebook account btw. 

 

Skype is always a problem when I speak to my family on there, we always argue after I finishing speaking on there. 

 

She says that we're a couple now so my family back home in Liverpool should be put on the back burner. 

 

She has also been physically abusive, punching me in the arms, legs a chest on several occasions. 

 

She broke my tablet by trying to take it off me because we argued. 

 

Threw a cup of water at me in burger King. Locked me out in the heat for three hours because she cut me off the WiFi and I went out to use public Wi-Fi. Pushed me several times. 

 

I left the other day and she kicked the door so hard that the neighbors phoned the police which turned out to be my fault according to her because I shouldn't have left. 

 

I know it isn't all her fault but the worse thing she is doing to me is trying to cut me off with my family,I would have never done that to her if it was the other way about. 

 

I have left a few times but she always guilt trips with me that if I leave the country it is over. 

 

The sad thing is, we've been together almost 15 years and when we finally get together, basically it's #######. 

 

I miss my family terribly. I want to leave but actually walking away and getting on that plane and throwing everything away is hard, I can't seem to do it. If she lived in Liverpool then we could take a break or I could move in with my parents. 

 

But leaving now would finalize it, if that makes sense. 

 

Has anyone else been in this type of situation?

 

 

 

 

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I know of a similar type of situation in my own family, but the reverse.

 

I'd suggest that if you want to move back home, that you should do it.  Your relationship sounds toxic and abusive.  I highly suggest you don't waste any more time on it and get out before you end up getting arrested during one of these police visits.

[TBoneTX 43,253]

20 hours ago, Scouser92 said:

Has anyone else been in this type of situation?

Yes (not as an immigrant).  Put up with abuse like that for nearly 2 years before leaving.  Best decision of my life to leave.  You won't believe the feeling of freedom and the return of self-respect that will wash over you.

 

In the 19 years between that marriage and meeting the final Mrs. T-B., I had a cardinal rule:  At the first act or threat of physical abuse, the relationship was immediately and permanently over.

Edited July 12, 2017 by TBoneTX

[Ontarkie 13,925]

Leave now before your 90 days have past. You never know if you will want to come back to visit the US for fun. 

[Scouser92 6]

26 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

Leave now before your 90 days have past. You never know if you will want to come back to visit the US for fun. 

We have already married, we was married the first week I was here. 

 

It's just really strange because we have been together almost 15 years and finally we are able to be together and it turned out like this. 

 

And I'm just scared that once I get on that plane and I'm home I will regret my decision. 

 

Thanks for the replies

Edited July 12, 2017 by Scouser92

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Something to think about in terms of domestic abuse:

 

 

The 90 days is more when your visa expires and you won't enter into overstay if you leave before then.

[Scouser92 6]

4 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

Something to think about in terms of domestic abuse:

 

 

The 90 days is more when your visa expires and you won't enter into overstay if you leave before then.

Ok I got you and thanks for the chart. 

[TBoneTX 43,253]

The visa was dead on U.S. arrival.  The I-94 is what rules.

I'll more bluntly say to get out of this toxic relationship now, permanently, and don't look back.

Life is too short to be mistreated.

Furthermore, all the loving, emotionally healthy women in the world, and anyone would stay with someone like this?

[Scouser92 6]

I think it has to be done at some point. The strange thing is though I feel so sorry for her. 

[Ontarkie 13,925]

31 minutes ago, Scouser92 said:

We have already married, we was married the first week I was here. 

 

It's just really strange because we have been together almost 15 years and finally we are able to be together and it turned out like this. 

 

And I'm just scared that once I get on that plane and I'm home I will regret my decision. 

 

Thanks for the replies

Yes you married but you have not finished the AOS and gotten a GC have you? So if you stay past your 90 days alotted on the I-94 you will not be able to use ESTA and it could be difficult to get a B1 

 

7 minutes ago, Scouser92 said:

I think it has to be done at some point. The strange thing is though I feel so sorry for her. 

I've been there and that feeling sorry for her is because you unlike her have empathy for others. Get out and don't look back. 

[Scouser92 6]

Yes you married but you have not finished the AOS and gotten a GC have you? So if you stay past your 90 days alotted on the I-94 you will not be able to use ESTA and it could be difficult to get a B1 

 

Yeah I understand now, thanks. I never thought of that until tonight. 

 

3 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

 I've been there and that feeling sorry for her is because you unlike her have empathy for others. Get out and don't look back.

It's a horrible feeling. One day ok I'll think that's it I'm done and then I feel this feeling of pity for her. 

[TBoneTX 43,253]

8 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

I've been there and that feeling sorry for her is because you unlike her have empathy for others. Get out and don't look back. 

Same here.  Get out and don't look back.

[TBoneTX 43,253]

4 minutes ago, Scouser92 said:

1.  It's a horrible feeling.

2.  One day ok I'll think that's it I'm done

3.  then I feel this feeling of pity for her. 

1.  Yes, it is.

2.  You are, and should be, done.

3.  Anything pertaining to her is not your concern.

[Ontarkie 13,925]

7 minutes ago, Scouser92 said:

Yes you married but you have not finished the AOS and gotten a GC have you? So if you stay past your 90 days alotted on the I-94 you will not be able to use ESTA and it could be difficult to get a B1 

 

Yeah I understand now, thanks. I never thought of that until tonight. 

 

It's a horrible feeling. One day ok I'll think that's it I'm done and then I feel this feeling of pity for her. 

It is horrible and never easy but put yourself first just long enough to get on that plane. 

[Scouser92 6]

I've already been on one plane, but didn't get on the connecting flight back to Europe stranding myself in a different state for a few days, which was a nightmare. 

 

As well as feeling sorry for her I fear I'll regret leaving. 

 

And I'm not trying to make myself out to be perfect, because I know I'm not. 

 

Thanks again for the replies guys.