Wife Deceived Me (

[verysadman 0]

Ok she does not like kids, what is her problem with my daughter ?

 

5 hours ago, POA said:

People has different views in having kids as we all know and if both of you doesn't want one then I don't think it is a good idea. If she is not into having kids, I would say think about the reason you married her, is having kids the most important reason as to why you married or you married just because you wanted to be together? My husband and I have that topic talked about before we got married, the real reason we got married. This is just us but we came up to the decision that having kids is a bonus but it shouldn't make or break our relationship. We were both in our 20s then and now in our 30s and we still feel the same way. If you are not on the same page in having a kid or kids, I don't think it is a good idea to have one with her. Just my 2c's.

 

[Harmonia 211]

You should be posting in a marriage counseling forum, not immigration.

 

Half of marriages end in divorce. There are plenty of American couples who face the same issue, where one partner wants kids and the other doesn't.

 

Maybe you rushed into marriage, but you've been married 3 years. To proactively answer common questions, you can't deport your wife. She can ROC without you. You can't annull your marriage. She did not use you for fraud. 

[verysadman 0]

She does not care to be here. This has nothing to do with immigration. She nags me all the time, telling me I should move with her back to her country, I know all this has to do with my daughter.

 

2 minutes ago, Harmonia said:

You should be posting in a marriage counseling forum, not immigration.

 

Half of marriages end in divorce. There are plenty of American couples who face the same issue, where one partner wants kids and the other doesn't.

 

Maybe you rushed into marriage, but you've been married 3 years. To proactively answer common questions, you can't deport your wife. She can ROC without you. You can't annull your marriage. She did not use you for fraud. 

 

[Harmonia 211]

15 minutes ago, verysadman said:

She does not care to be here. This has nothing to do with immigration. She nags me all the time, telling me I should move with her back to her country, I know all this has to do with my daughter.

 

 

Ok, similar to how Americans from different states might have similar challenges in deciding where to live, or challenges in blending families. You're right, this has nothing to do with immigration. So why are you posting here?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

3 hours ago, Russ&Caro said:

Some people don't like children.

Some people don't want to have children.

Some people change their minds about having children.

 

There is nothing wrong with such people.

 

My wife is good friends with a recently married immigrant. Since she has a daughter of her own, she didn't expect any issues with getting along with her USC husband's 3 daughters. Turns out all 3 daughters hate her to varying degrees. Her husband simply does not see the hatred and denies that it exists. I would question this if I hadn't seen it firsthand. There is no doubt in my mind that at least 2 of the daughters hate the new immigrant wife. Like the OP's situation, the husband wants his new wife to go off birth control and bring more children into their relationship and she's reluctant to do that.

If I had a spouse who hated one of my children then it would be an easy decision of who would be told get out and don't let the door

hit your rear end on the way out. With spouses like this who needs enemies ?!
OP, put your pants on, be a man and tell her to stop the hate train she is on and that your daughter will be always a part of your life.
Make sure that your daughter equally respects your wife and doesn't disrespect her. This is a merry-go-round and neeeds
to stop. Assert yourself.
 

Edited January 17, 2017 by Ebunoluwa

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

OP,

If she told you that she wanted kids and you made plan to have them, but when she arrived here, you find out that she HATES kids, that is deception to me.  Sorry if others don't think so.  People don't change from "yes lets have kids" to "kids are scum of the earth, and that they ruin one's life". 

 

She tricked him plain and simple.   

[KierenHby 897]

4 hours ago, verysadman said:

She does not care to be here. This has nothing to do with immigration. She nags me all the time, telling me I should move with her back to her country, I know all this has to do with my daughter.

You could consider that option (moving back to her country) if there's a remote chance she might be amenable to changing her behavior. What is her home country? 

[Ash.1101 1,755]

4 hours ago, KierenHby said:

You could consider that option (moving back to her country) if there's a remote chance she might be amenable to changing her behavior. What is her home country? 

Yeah but is his making his wife happy worth moving to another country away from his kid? At some point lines need to be drawn on both ends.

[Patient 57]

10 hours ago, Ash.1101 said:

Yeah but is his making his wife happy worth moving to another country away from his kid? At some point lines need to be drawn on both ends.

I think they need to go on the Jermey Kyle show ,,,,,, then it will all be sorted out and made fine.

[Harmonia 211]

19 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

OP,

If she told you that she wanted kids and you made plan to have them, but when she arrived here, you find out that she HATES kids, that is deception to me.  Sorry if others don't think so.  People don't change from "yes lets have kids" to "kids are scum of the earth, and that they ruin one's life". 

 

She tricked him plain and simple.   

This is why its important to spend time in person to get to know your spouse, to be able to tell if they're tricking you.

 

And yes, people's opinions do change. My opinion of whether I want children or not has changed in three years. A lot can happen. You can think life will be easy, and then you see you're in a small apartment and life is expensive, and you don't want to bring children into that. You could have never been around children. I never changed a baby diaper till I was in my early 20s. 

[Ontarkie 13,917]

~~12 Posts and related replies removed for completely derailing and confusion this thread. Stick to the OP or do not post.~~

[verysadman 0]

On 1/17/2017 at 3:26 PM, KierenHby said:

You could consider that option (moving back to her country) if there's a remote chance she might be amenable to changing her behavior. What is her home country? 

You think moving back to her country will change anything ?

[KierenHby 897]

15 hours ago, verysadman said:

You think moving back to her country will change anything ?

Don't know. 

How have things changed the past 2 months? 

[verysadman 0]

Nothing has changed we had a big fight few weeks back. When I talked about my daughter, the problem starts when I talk about the problem.

 

She is extremely jealous of me, that is the problem.

 

She wants kids only if I want it.

 

If I don't file for ROC, she can file for ROC on her own from what I hear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 25, 2017 by verysadman

[QueenComley 295]

She does not need you to file for ROC....she can divorce you and still file ROC perfectly fine. This however is not the main issue. The issue is the unhealthy view she has of your daughter. I am a step mother and my step kids are #1 priority. I think of them as mine and treat them so. If I was to feel how your wife feels about your daughter my husband would divorce me. No ifs or buts. Maybe yall need some counselling.