how do you guys hang in there?

[NYGirl 0]

Thank god for web cameras!

get one and install it, you'll feel closer to each other

[heishe 2]

Diapers

[vylex 0]

Slim, that advice was H-O-T.

Very true about the touching and being able to connect at a whole different level. I think that alone is what makes the bond between my wife and I so strong.

Even though we miss the physical touch we get to focus on the other aspect of our relationship...communication. We've been so good at communicating that we can get over arguments over the phone or via emails. It's really interesting because a lot of my friends can't get over arguments sitting in the same room, even after cooling down.

As for quenching the thirst for each other's company, Skype + Video is a huge savior. We are on it almost daily and do some everyday chores like cooking or cleaning together. It's amazing how we feel so close to each other when using it.

Like Slim said, in the end we will be able to spend the rest of our lives together. If I think about being separated for a year considering the life we have ahead of us, it doesn't seem so long anymore.

[Cassie 8]

I worked lots of overtime, planned my wedding, packed up my stuff for long term storage, and talked lots to my honey on the phone and webcam.

the key for us was distraction. The more we focused on the separation and/or the immigration process, the crazier we got. For the sake of our sanity, we made a conscious effort not to dwell on the stuff out of our control and focused on keeping busy with other things and preparing. It worked for us.

[GaryC 7]

Luz and I waited 3 years to be together. It took 2 years alone to get her annulment and another year for the visa. We survived by staying in contact as much as we could. The first 2 years I ran myself broke with phone calls ($300+/month) I got smart and payed for her to get a DSL and a computer. That enabled us to stay in touch a lot more. I then got her a Vonage so she had a local phone number to me. We were able to see each other on the web cam and call each other any time we wanted. I was fortunate that I was able to afford to go see her 7 times for 2 weeks at a time.

Luz will be here in 3 weeks. We remarked that the wait enabled us to know each other totally and although it was very hard for us in the end it was probably for the best. Luz and I have talked and gotten to know each other better than most "normal" couples do in twice that long! It also made us both realize how deep our love for each other is. Instead of diminishing our feelings for each other the separation and waiting has made our love stronger. That tells us both that we are right for each other.

Hang in there. Spend this time getting to know each other. The reward is worth the wait!

[pjc1973 0]

hi...im new here...and i will start soon to aply for k1 visa and it would take a while(i understand at least 6 months)..if u are in same situation...how u guys deal with this? what u do to maje everything easyer? i didint saw my fiance since 2 months and im going crazyyyy...im loosing my mind...and we didint started yet with visa staff...we will soon

Love, grit and resolve. In abundance. And Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Good luck friend, I wish you and your loved one the best of luck and a speedy journey.

[Dan J 277]

All's good ...

[Niels Bohr 72]

Thank god for web cameras!

get one and install it, you'll feel closer to each other

You mean thank the engineers and scientists who spend their entire lives researching and studying to make life better!

[sereia 0]

consolemaster!

[Caladan 19]

You're already in a long distance relationship. The important thing to remember is that nothing has changed! There's just some paperwork going on in the background.

[slim 1,533]

Even though we miss the physical touch we get to focus on the other aspect of our relationship...communication. We've been so good at communicating that we can get over arguments over the phone or via emails. It's really interesting because a lot of my friends can't get over arguments sitting in the same room, even after cooling down.

When asked about how my wife and I communicate, since we speak different languages, and if that causes fights or complicates the matter, I have a very simple answer for everyone....

Imagine if you took the time (in English) to really focus on the problem your S/O is having with you and the reason you're fighting. When you speak different languages, you MUST be calm, patient, and thorough with your explaination in order to be understood. If the two of you did that in English, you'd never have any fights! Instead of yelling at each other when you're angry, you'd have to disregard the first few (swear) words because you would'nt understand them anyway, then you could really focus on the underlying issues. And that's how you resolve conflict.

When you're in a long distance relationship or one where you can't see your S/O for a long time, the longer you go, the better you should be able to communicate. So, keep that in mind while you're dealing with the seperation issues. It's going to make you stronger in the end.

(FYI... Elena and I went 5 years without actually "touching" and over a year during the VJ process. Now, the communication that we have compared to people who have spent the last 6 years together is like night and day. I'm almost thankful that we spent so long apart because it means that we made the "choice" to be together instead of just sticking it out with someone that we were with. It forced us to "learn" each other first, then assimilate our lives, as opposed to the traditional "learn as you live together" method that seems to doom most couples once they realize they can't effectively communicate, even after living together for years and years.)

[Together4ever 1]

Slim, that advice was H-O-T.

Very true about the touching and being able to connect at a whole different level. I think that alone is what makes the bond between my wife and I so strong.

Even though we miss the physical touch we get to focus on the other aspect of our relationship...communication. We've been so good at communicating that we can get over arguments over the phone or via emails. It's really interesting because a lot of my friends can't get over arguments sitting in the same room, even after cooling down.

As for quenching the thirst for each other's company, Skype + Video is a huge savior. We are on it almost daily and do some everyday chores like cooking or cleaning together. It's amazing how we feel so close to each other when using it.

Like Slim said, in the end we will be able to spend the rest of our lives together. If I think about being separated for a year considering the life we have ahead of us, it doesn't seem so long anymore.

I am in 100% total agreement with the communication aspect being such a gift from the separation. But we have discovered another gift, now that we are reunited. The gift of touch. When you finally have it, after all those months (and years for many of us) of yearning, dreaming, imagining that dimension that is missing and then you have it, it too becomes something powerful, appreciated and not taken for granted. Of course we all enjoy touch in the physical relationships we've had in the past, but I can promise you the ability to simply place your hand on his/her shoulder will carry new meaning and value for you it never did in the past.

Forge your communication and understanding of eachother during your separation as others have said, focus on it, make it a journey apart from this separation/bureaucratic nightmare, and give your relationship that rock solid foundation many relationships never know. That's the kicker of getting through this whole things... its where you place your focus.