Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!!!!!

[mmb 0]

Images of Disneyland keep flashing through my mind.

Am I the only one thinking of bholiday?

[mmarlo 1]

I feel sorry that you are going through a tough situation, that no doubt is a financial hardship, but it sounds like you're not trying very hard to understand the emotional hardships that she's facing, which no doubt are affecting her behavior. You don't have to and you shouldn't close one chapter in your life and open another just because you can. This woman no doubt cares for you and you should try to understand her position and use the time before and during your visit to fight for her. Can't you imagine the many reasons one might not want to leave their country, their friends, and their family behind to go somewhere completely foreign? Especially for outgoing, social people, living in the sprawling suburbs of America can be very isolating. You can find plenty of racism and xenophobia here, and it will be extremely difficult for her to put in place new social networks like she had at home. Yeah, it's a melting pot with lots of people from lots of different nationalities, but you can easily get harassed here even if you speak "perfect English" with an "accent". Unless you are already well off, she will have to work her @ off just to keep afloat. We have the world's most inefficient and expensive health care system. (I think Cuba has a lower child mortality rate.) Winter's can be very cold and uncomfortable for someone accustomed to year-round warm weather. There are so many cultural differences, too, that make a move like this such a big pill to swallow. Of course, there are many opportunities here, as well as her fiance, but you've gotta try to understand both sides of the story. This may be the greatest place in the world (if you have money) but it's not her home. If you love her, fight for her. If you don't love her, well, maybe you should look for someone else, but before you get engaged, try to find someone you can love to the point where the price of the tickets and hotel reservations doesn't matter.

[bora bora 1]

Wow, you're taking this very well.

If my fiance called me and told me he wasn't coming I'd DIE and then move to Brazil to be with him!

[brnidokiegurl 1]

We can all see the bond was so (strong) here, she prob was scared and you blew it off quickly and started looking for another, sorry you seemd to have taken it so hard (not) geezzzz

[Augustajim 0]

I understand his anger and emotional felings. Sometimes we need to vent. Right now he is hurt and tossing back hurt is sometimes our first instinct. Under the circumstances I vote we cut him some slack.

Talked to my fiancee tonite after trying to get a hold of her for three days. I called her at work and was able to talk. She said go to YM and I will tell you what is bothering me.

We meet in Ym and she tells me. " I have had a change of heart and do not want to move to USA." She says, " I am scared and do not want to follow through with it." Now bear in mind I have made plans, purchased tickets, got hotel room suite and am going to the Philippines in 25

days to see "my fiancee."

Needless to say as you can see by our timeline the ####### was totally knocked out of me. Have you ever tried to cancel internet flite and hotel tickets bought thru a broker of said things?

I am just floored. I simply wrote her an email and said I hope you can look your 5 y/o daughter in the eyes when she is 12-15 and tell her you did what you thought was best. Nerissa and I have been talking about this for 4 years and now she does this.

I have no idea how she could do this to me.

I am still going to PI in March. I saw for myself that there are millions of beautiful ladies there and who knows. End of chapter, start a new one. My life is definetly a chapter book.

Kevin

Let me get this right.

She tells you she is having second thoughts.

Your reaction, you talk about the money you have spent in flights and hotel.

You email her and use her daughter as a tool of emotional blackmail.

You then plan to go to the Phillipines and look for another woman.

Her fears look well grounded to me.

[rebeccajo 14]

If one falls through, just move on to another. That seems right.

First floor....women with children; short women; younger women.

Second floor....childless women; large breasted women; older women.

Third floor....women with issues; tall women; insatiable women.

Life is just one big shopping mall.

[honeysweet 1]

IF YOU LOVE YOUR FIANCEE, SETS HER FREE. IF SHE COMES BACK, SHE'S YOURS FOREVER....IF NOT SHE IS NOT MEANT TO BE.

[orion44 0]

if that happened to me, and it's a really horrble situation, I would continue with my plans to visit, and find out in person what the story is. I wouldn't be able to end everything from one YM session.

[~Chad~ 0]

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe she is just having cold feet and she will snap out of it.

[azcactus 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

[mmb 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

Your ex fiancee is the luckiest girl in the Phillipines right now.

In my opinion she has had a very narrow escape.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

So why not say my trip is planned, i will go over and discuss all this with her and see what the outcome might be, hopeing for the best, not im going and i have other women already lined up but your right none of our business.

[Dustin Nila 0]

be strong..do whatever to make u happy...believe in urself.

[TracyLuis 0]

Thanks for the kind and unkind remarks.

I joined CB after this happened. I met four ladies who have agreed to at least have a dinner date w/me. So we will see what happens. Two of the ladies are friends, ( met 1 on CB who gave me the # of the other one who was not on CB) They have both agrred that they will not let me die in Manila and said they would pick me up at the airport. The only reason I did this was because I am going back to the PI. It is a great place to visit.

My book of life is filled with many chapters. As one is ended, another begins.

So this was true love, I see...

I think your fiancee did the right thing.

[Robor007 0]

What some of you do not understand is MY TRIP is already booked as of 1/19/2007. It is a non refundable thru cheapoair and asiaroooms. Total cost to go see her this time $1100 air $500 USD hotel suite. I am not just pissing that off. I will go and have already talked to two ladies who said they will show me around the sites. I particularly want to see the American vets cemetary there and the old 1500's churches, Rizal Park and the Philippine Cultural Center. The ladies I have talked to said they know where all these things are and would like to show me the area. Last time I was in manila I barely got out of hotel as it was connected to amall and plus we went to Bohol for three days to see her family.

So if you agree or disagree it is ur choice. But I am starting anew and will look for adventure as it presents itself.

K

I think what some people are trying to tell you is it seems very strange that you would end a 4 year relationship that is so close to finally finishing the visa process so nonchalantly. Maybe you left some important parts out but your OP sounds as though you didn't even discuss the how's and why's with your fiancee. You just turned the page and (curiously quickly) moved on to these other women you only know from online chat. Maybe your fiancee was dishonest and this was a convenient excuse to back out without further explanation. If so, I'm very sorry for you because that's a terrible thing to do. However, maybe there's a valid reason and things could have been worked out. Seems like you'll never know now.