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Not a Tailor

How married did you feel before the BIG MOVE?

Did you feel ALL THE WAY married before you moved in together?  

29 members have voted

  1. 1. Did you feel like you were completely and totally married before the big move?

    • Yes, moving together did not make us feel like our relationship was 'more married' than before our Visa Journey was completed
      9
    • Yes, though we had lived together before our Visa Journey was completed, so it was less of a big deal.
      8
    • There were moments of it, but mostly we felt like our relationship was the same 'amount' of married as before our Visa Journey was completed.
      2
    • Sometimes we felt totally married, but mostly the marriage felt like it wasn't 'as married' as other people before our Visa Journey was completed.
      3
    • No, we definitely felt like our marriage became more like a 'real marriage' when we were able to move in together.
      3
    • No, we definitely felt like our marriage was more like a very official engagement until we were able to live together.
      3
    • I plead the fifth, because hey, our visa journey is over and in AMERICA, you can plead the fifth!
      1


12 posts in this topic

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My wife and I were talking tonight and as we get closer and closer to my move date (June 3rd), we both keep getting more and more nervous. We've never lived together. We've vacationed together, we've talked to each other every day for five years. We KNOW each other.

But as we approach my move date, the date we will actually LIVE together, for the first time in our lives, we have discovered something. We both feel more like THIS date is a wedding than our actual wedding was. We both feel more apprehension and nerves about this than we did about signing the paperwork and getting married.

And so we're wondering, are we alone? Do other people feel like you're sort of, I don't know, 'fake married' (though obviously we are legally married and DO consider ourselves married) until that visa comes, and then suddenly you realize it's real, you're really married?

Edited by Not a Tailor

Met in 2010 on a forum for a mutual interest. Became friends.
2011: Realized we needed to evaluate our status as friends when we realized we were talking about raising children together.

2011/2012: Decided we were a couple sometime in, but no possibility of being together due to being same sex couple.

June 26, 2013: DOMA overturned. American married couples ALL have the same federal rights at last! We can be a family!

June-September, 2013: Discussion about being together begins.

November 13, 2013: Meet in person to see if this could work. It's perfect. We plan to elope to Boston, MA.

March 13, 2014 Married!

May 9, 2014: Petition mailed to USCIS

May 12, 2014: NOA1.
October 27, 2014: NOA2. (5 months, 2 weeks, 1 day after NOA1)
October 31, 2014: USCIS ships file to NVC (five days after NOA2) Happy Halloween for us!

November 18, 2014: NVC receives our case (22 days after NOA2)

December 17, 2014: NVC generates case number (50 days after NOA2)

December 19, 2014: Receive AOS bill, DS-261. Submit DS-261 (52 days after NOA2)

December 20, 2014: Pay AOS Fee

January 7, 2015: Receive, pay IV Fee

January 10, 2015: Complete DS-260

January 11, 2015: Send AOS package and Civil Documents
March 23, 2015: Case Complete at NVC. (70 days from when they received docs to CC)

May 6, 2015: Interview at Montréal APPROVED!

May 11, 2015: Visa in hand! One year less one day from NOA1.

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~~Moved to General Polls, from Off Topics~~


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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Ehh, different situation since I was already here, but getting married felt like... well, like nothing. Nothing really changed between us, we'd known each other for so long already, our friends said we were "practically married for years". We didn't move in together immediately, but after a few months we did and that was also no big deal, it just made me happy that we FINALLY get to live together and I'm all content now and... stuff... and cats.

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We can't wait for when we finally get to live together. We're not nervous about that at all, just excited.

When we got married, it felt so natural, neither of us had cold feet or were nervous. What makes me extremely nervous though is living in the US. I've lived in five different countries in my lifetime, so I'm used to living in foreign countries, but the US is so different from those countries. Just this whole thing with medical care freaks me out. I mean in the countries I've lived in, and I think it's the same in Canada, if you get sick, you go to the doctors/hospital and get help, it doesn't really cost anything. In the US, insurance is a BIG thing and medical care is ridiculously expensive. You have to choose the right insurance or it might not cover diseases and injuries you get in the future. I mean who wants to go through cancer and having to argue with their insurance company whether insurance will cover the treatment or you will just have to die at home because you couldn't get treatment... And this culture of sueing everyone and everything... Do I have to be worried about accidentally bumping into someone on the street and all of the sudden you get sued for a million dollars for assault or something?! Yeah, those are the things that really freak me out about moving to the US. Living with my husband will be the nice and comforting part. ?


Met online October 2010


Engaged December 31st 2011


heart.gifMarried May 14th 2013 heart.gif



USCIS Stage


September 8th 2014 - Filed I-130 with Nebraska Service Center


September 16th 2014 - NOA1 received


March 2nd 2015 - NOA2 received :dancing:



NVC Stage


March 28th 2015 - Choice of agent complete & AOS fee paid


April 17th 2015 - IV fee paid


May 1st 2015 - Sent in IV application


May 12th 2015 - Sent in AOS and IV documents


May 18th 2015 - Scan Date


June 18th 2015 - Checklist received


June 22nd 2015 - Checklist response sent to NVC


June 25th 2015 - Put for Supervisor Review


Sept 15th 2015 - Request help from Texas US Senator Cornyn and his team


Sept 23rd 2015 - Our case is moved from supervisor review to NVC's team for dealing with Senator requests


Nov 4th 2015 - CASE COMPLETE!!!! :dancing:



Embassy Stage


Dec 16th 2015 - Medical exam


Dec 21st 2015 - Interview


Dec 21st 2015 - 221(g) issued at interview for updated forms


Jan 13th 2016 - Mailed our reply to the 221(g) to the US Embassy, received and CEAC updated the next morning


Jan 20th 2016 - Embassy require more in-depth info on asset for i-864


Feb 1st 2016 - Sent more in-depth info on assets as requested. Received the next morning


Feb 16th 2016 - Visa has been issued :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:



In the US


April 5th 2016 - POE Newark. No questions asked.


April 14th 2016 - SSN received


May 10th 2016 - First day at my new job :dancing:


May 27th 2016 - Green Card received


June 7th 2016 - Got my Texas driver's license

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I can relate, I was really nervous about moving to the HUGE USA from my quiet little existence in Australia. But come to find out it really isn't that different and somewhat normal LOL I just had a recent trip home to Australia and actually found that they are further ahead in a lot of things now compared to the US, so that was a bit of a shock. But you will be fine in the US it's a little bit of an adjustment but with your hubby/wife by your side you will be just fine :thumbs:

Edited by uniquelyJo

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Do I have to be worried about accidentally bumping into someone on the street and all of the sudden you get sued for a million dollars for assault or something?! Yeah, those are the things that really freak me out about moving to the US.

No.

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I can relate. I completely understand how you feel. My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years before we moved in together. We were so excited but at the same time we were very nervous. We've heard many negative stories before about live-in partners and we were scared the same was going to happen to us. Good thing we were able to get through it all.

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We did AOS inside the US so we lived together in sin for three months before we got married and then we lived together as a married couple for seven months before his GC was issued. Aside from that, he visited me for nearly three months earlier in our relationship, so we learned a lot about each other then.

A little over a year married and a little over three and a half years together, and there hasn't been any real surprises, despite having been through a pretty earth-shattering crisis during that time (not immigration related). And that's the way I like it, so I hope it continues!


9/2011: Met in Morocco

12/2011: Trip to Europe together

1/2012: My trip to his hometown

11/2012: His first trip to USA

1/2014: His second trip to USA

3/2014: Married

Adjusting from a B visa

6/25/2014: Sent AOS package (I-130, I-485, I-765, I-131)

6/28/2014: Package received at Chicago Lockbox

7/2/2014: Text and email notifications

7/2/2014: Checks cashed

7/8/2014: Hard copy NOAs received

7/25/2014: Biometrics appointment

7/25/2014: RFE for foreign birth certificate

7/26/2014: RFE responded to

7/30/2014: RFE response received

8/14/2014: Status changed to "Testing and Interview"

8/29/2014: EAD and AP card production ordered

9/10/2014: EAD and AP card received

9/27/2014: Interview letter received

9/29/2014: SS card applied for

10/4/2014: SS card received

10/28/2014: Interview - approved pending final background check; online status updated that night

11/1/2014: Welcome letter

11/4/2014: GC in hand

ROC

8/13/2016: Sent I-751 Package

8/15/2016: Package received at CSC

8/17/2016: Check cashed

8/19/2016: NOA1

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Hey now friend up there, Some people have different beliefs, and that's just A-Okay. =]



As for me, I'm not married yet but been dating for a couple of years and we treat it more so as he's just off to work for a really long time. It works really well for me as I was raised in a family household where my dad was gone for a while for work. Also raised around military family and saw my brother in law leave for a year at a time for deployment, and then experienced that myself with my first husband. We mingle finances for the most part and know everything that goes on with his work, my daughters therapys and school, it just feels more like he's off at work and we can't wait til he's finally done with that job. =]

I'll come back and update this when he's here for a while. I'm fairly confident that it won't change too much.

Edited by Ash.1101

*More detailed timeline in profile!*
 
Relationship:     Friends since 2010, Together since 2013
 

Spoiler

Met online: June 2010
Started dating: March 20, 2013
Engaged: November 27, 2014
Married: Feburary 20, 2016



The K-1 Process:    Done in 208 days                                               
 

Spoiler

04/27/15- NOA1 Recieved                                                    
06/02/15 - NOA2 Recieved
09/22/15 - Interview       (221g for more documents (a SECOND cosponsor), see profile for more details!)                                            
11/09/15 -  ISSUED!!                                                              
11/10/15 - Passport received                                                
02/20/16 - Wedding!              


                                                
 AOS   Done in 77 days                                                                            
 

Spoiler

04/08/16 - I-485, I-765, I-131 AOS Application recieved by USCIS
04/12/16 - 3 NOA1's received in mail
05/14/16 - Biometrics for AOS and EAD
06/27/16 - I-485 Case to changed to "New Card being produced"  (Day 77)
06/27/16 - I-485 Case changed to Approved! (Day 77)
06/30/16 - I-485 Case changed to "My Card has been mailed to me!"
07/05/16 - Green Card received in mail! 

 



ROC 

05/09/18 - Mailed out ROC to CSC

05/10/18 - CSC Signed and received ROC package
06/07/28 - NOA1 

06/11/18 - Check cashed

06/15/18 - NOA received in the mail

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Hey now friend up there, Some people have different beliefs, and that's just A-Okay. =]

As for me, I'm not married yet but been dating for a couple of years and we treat it more so as he's just off to work for a really long time. It works really well for me as I was raised in a family household where my dad was gone for a while for work. Also raised around military family and saw my brother in law leave for a year at a time for deployment, and then experienced that myself with my first husband. We mingle finances for the most part and know everything that goes on with his work, my daughters therapys and school, it just feels more like he's off at work and we can't wait til he's finally done with that job. =]

I'll come back and update this when he's here for a while. I'm fairly confident that it won't change too much.

Sure it's ok. But doing something that you know is "wrong" by your beliefs and then calling it "living in sin" means you did something that you now regret (or maybe it was a joke). So, why would anyone do that? I try to live without regrets ;)

Looking forward to your updates!

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