Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 220 Million Undocumented Whites

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

And I thought they'd never come to their senses...

Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 220 Million Undocumented Whites

A council of Native American leaders has offered partial amnesty to the estimated 220 million illegal white immigrants living in the United States.

At a meeting of the Native Peoples Council (NPC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, Native American leaders considered several proposals on the future of this continent's large, unauthorized European population. The elders ultimately decided to extend a pathway to citizenship for those without criminal backgrounds.

"We are prepared to offer White people the option of staying on this continent legally and applying for citizenship," explains Chief Wamsutta of the Wampanoag nation. "In return, they must pay any outstanding taxes and give back the land stolen from our ancestors.

"Any white person with a criminal record, however, will be deported in the next 90 days back to their ancestral homeland. Rush Limbaugh will be going to Germany. Justin Bieber will depart for Canada. And the entire cast of Jersey Shore will be returning to Italy."

Sustained European colonization of North America began in the 16th and 17th centuries, when arrivals from France, Spain and England first established settlements on land that had hitherto been occupied by native peoples. Over the past 400 years immigrants from these countries and others throughout Europe have transformed the demography of the continent.

Despite their numerical superiority, many scholars question the legality of the European settlement, as it was founded on a mixture of unauthorized immigration, war and genocide.

Progressive native groups welcomed the council's decision today as a step forward toward normalizing relations with the White community. However, many conservative Native Americans are upset about the plan, claiming that amnesty will only serve to reward lawbreakers.

"Why can't we just deport all of the Whites back to Europe?" asks Ité Omáǧažu of the Lakota people. "They're just a drain on our economy anyway. They came over here to steal our resources because they're too lazy to develop their own back home.

"I can't believe we're just going to let them pay a fine. They should get to the back of the line like everybody else -- behind the Mexicans."

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

You trying to give someone a heart attack. Just admit it...

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

You trying to give someone a heart attack. Just admit it...

Heart attack? Why? As a white man, I am relieved that I will finally have the opportunity to legalize my status.

[Pooky 3,343]

Maybe the "Native Americans" might want to think twice about their "American Privilege", if this is true http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/545254-new-evidence-suggests-stone-age-hunters-from-europe-discovered-america/

Edited April 17, 2015 by Pooky

[Dakine10 5,452]

Maybe the "Native Americans" might want to think twice about their "American Privilege", if this is true http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/545254-new-evidence-suggests-stone-age-hunters-from-europe-discovered-america/

Contrary to the way the newspaper article is presented, the Solutrean hypothesis, while interesting, is still a hypothesis. There are just as many critics of Stanford and Bradley's work as there are supporters.

[VOL 425]

They way the Native Americans were treated has largely been washed under the table and forgotten in American History

[spookyturtle 9,465]

They way the Native Americans were treated has largely been washed under the table and forgotten in American History

It most certainly has. Off the top of my head, I can't think of too many big countries where the native population is an extreme minority. At the moment, I'm thinking Australia, Brazil......

[Dakine10 5,452]

They way the Native Americans were treated has largely been washed under the table and forgotten in American History

School textbooks would rather talk about turkey dinners and Columbus day and how everyone loved each other. Kid's eventually think about it. They eventually ask something along the lines of "if everyone was so happy and friendly where did all the native Americans go". That's a good time to tell them.

[Boiler 43,391]

So no amnesty for Hispanics or Blacks.

Presumably the Red Indians are OK with the brown Indians

[Dakine10 5,452]

So no amnesty for Hispanics or Blacks.

Presumably the Red Indians are OK with the brown Indians

The article does appear to refer to undocumented whites. Probably best not to read too much into satire though.