I just want my life back

[MrsBruce5 0]

Thank you so much for those who have sent helpful advice and kinds thoughts. I really appreciate it.

I have water now, after my landlord finally fixed the pump.

I am trying to sort out the bills and had already contacted the hospital a while back, who stated they would try and get me help, but on Friday replied that they couldn't. I have been in contact ,when need be, with my congress person and one of the reasons for a delay is that the immigration Court in Detroit took over 4 months to send my I360 back to Vermont. I will be contacting her again this week.

As for the benefits I applied in January 2005.

D. Mermaid : The 1996 Welfare Reform Act states the immigrants cannot get benefits for the first 5 years. I have been to churches and, have been able to get free school meals for my son thankfully.

As for that one obnoxious person dmartmar "go to to hell and join my bills" Is this a case of deja vu where you were mean and nasty to me previously?. Do enlighten me as to your problems you have with me. Other than that, if you can't be a decent human being, then don't post and put people down when they already are.

For your information I 360's do take their time, but my petition has taken longer than most.

How dare you you to tell me I should have stayed with an abuser. My husband refused to go the AOS interview. Don't you ever read things correctly??????????????. He put me in this situation. DIG IT!!!!!!

I have every intention of working and paying my way. I have two Bachelor hons degrees, which includes one in teaching. I do not want to live on benefits and work on the side as you suggested. I just want to be able to work and pay my way like everyone else.

As my post stated, I just needed to vent.

Many many thanks again to all of you who had kind words to say and helpful advice to give.

Shona

Hi Shona-

Good to hear things are looking better. They will continue to improve with time.

Ignore the negativity and posts coming from dmartmar. This person is just bitter over God knows what...You don't need to explain yourself to ANYONE-especially him.

Keep strong.

[Caladan 19]

Ignore dmartmar; he's just bitter because his mail-order bride didn't come with a moneyback guarantee.

I second the recommendation for Catholic Charities; they don't care if you're Catholic, and they often have free or sliding-scale legal and financial help. They may be able to get the hospital off your back for the short term, or arrange a deal or payment plan that you can swing.

Hang in there.

[Boiler 43,788]

Not sure what the situation is in your State, but in mine you should not pay anything towards the Hospital Bill, all it does is just allow them longer to take any action.

You might want to consider Bankruptcy, may not be worth it for the current amount but once all the paperwork is sorted out something to consider, it will allow you a clean start.

It will take much much longer to repar your credit if you do not go Bankrupt, just the way the system is.

[isleta521 5]

Hey Shona,

Sorry that things didnt work out right. But give it some time. We all have hit rock bottom before and soon youll be on your feet again.

Good luck

[dmartmar 1]

As for that one obnoxious person dmartmar "go to to hell and join my bills" Is this a case of deja vu where you were mean and nasty to me previously? Do enlighten me as to your problems you have with me. Other than that, if you can't be a decent human being, then don't post and put people down when they already are.

For your information I-360's do take their time, but my petition has taken longer than most.

As for the benefits, I applied in January 2005.

How dare you you to tell me I should have stayed with an abuser. My husband refused to go the AOS interview. Don't you ever read things correctly??????????????. He put me in this situation. DIG IT!!!!!!

I have every intention of working and paying my way. I have two Bachelor hons degrees, which includes one in teaching. I do not want to live on benefits and work on the side as you suggested. I just want to be able to work and pay my way like everyone else.

1st of all, re-read my post. Where does it read "go to hell and join my bills?" I was being sarcastic towards the person who's advice for you was to "send the bills to hell." Now what kind of advice is that?

2nd of all, it seems as if your husband's only abuse was refusing to attend your AOS interview, which in turn gave you no other option but to pursue a VAWA waiver. I guess that refusing to attend the interview can be construed as "power" and "control" and as such, mental abuse.

3rd of all, you had the option of going back to your home country after the marriage broke down, yet chose to adjust status by yourself instead.

4th of all, in the year and a half you've been waiting for your I-360 to be adjudicated, you've done nothing to try and better you and your son's situation, all the while living off other people, getting things for free and blaming it all on the USCIS.

5th of all, you don't want to live off benefits, yet applied for them in Jan. of '05.

[dmartmar 1]

I have been to churches and have been able to get free school meals for my son thankfully.

I have two Bachelor hons degrees, which includes one in teaching.

Is your son in school? How? Are you teaching?

[Boiler 43,788]

I have been umming and arring about mentioning this.

But anyway.

There is good case law that suggests that assuming an I-864 was submitted with the Adjustment of Status it can be enforced to provide Shona with benefit outside of any divorce settlement.

USCIS seem to consider that the Affadavit goes into force when PR status is granted, Courts have taken the view that it is not dependent on PR status.

[munchkins 0]

Thank you so much for those who have sent helpful advice and kinds thoughts. I really appreciate it.

I have water now, after my landlord finally fixed the pump.

I am trying to sort out the bills and had already contacted the hospital a while back, who stated they would try and get me help, but on Friday replied that they couldn't. I have been in contact ,when need be, with my congress person and one of the reasons for a delay is that the immigration Court in Detroit took over 4 months to send my I360 back to Vermont. I will be contacting her again this week.

As for the benefits I applied in January 2005.

D. Mermaid : The 1996 Welfare Reform Act states the immigrants cannot get benefits for the first 5 years. I have been to churches and, have been able to get free school meals for my son thankfully.

As for that one obnoxious person dmartmar "go to to hell and join my bills" Is this a case of deja vu where you were mean and nasty to me previously?. Do enlighten me as to your problems you have with me. Other than that, if you can't be a decent human being, then don't post and put people down when they already are.

For your information I 360's do take their time, but my petition has taken longer than most.

How dare you you to tell me I should have stayed with an abuser. My husband refused to go the AOS interview. Don't you ever read things correctly??????????????. He put me in this situation. DIG IT!!!!!!

I have every intention of working and paying my way. I have two Bachelor hons degrees, which includes one in teaching. I do not want to live on benefits and work on the side as you suggested. I just want to be able to work and pay my way like everyone else.

As my post stated, I just needed to vent.

Many many thanks again to all of you who had kind words to say and helpful advice to give.

Shona

Good for you Shona, shows that you might be down but you are not out. sorry to hear of all these problems, I cannot give you any advice but I really hope that things get sorted quickly

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I rarely say things like this, but dmarter, you are such a fukcing aszhole....BITTER AS HELL or what??? wow. I disgrace myself by speaking that way to you but you know what? This one time, it was worth it. M.

ETA so sorry for what you're going through, Shona...hope you get it all sorted soon. You've been through WAY too much.

Edited February 14, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[Lovetoteach 53]

As for that one obnoxious person dmartmar "go to to hell and join my bills" Is this a case of deja vu where you were mean and nasty to me previously? Do enlighten me as to your problems you have with me. Other than that, if you can't be a decent human being, then don't post and put people down when they already are.

For your information I-360's do take their time, but my petition has taken longer than most.

As for the benefits, I applied in January 2005.

How dare you you to tell me I should have stayed with an abuser. My husband refused to go the AOS interview. Don't you ever read things correctly??????????????. He put me in this situation. DIG IT!!!!!!

I have every intention of working and paying my way. I have two Bachelor hons degrees, which includes one in teaching. I do not want to live on benefits and work on the side as you suggested. I just want to be able to work and pay my way like everyone else.

1st of all, re-read my post. Where does it read "go to hell and join my bills?" I was being sarcastic towards the person who's advice for you was to "send the bills to hell." Now what kind of advice is that?

2nd of all, it seems as if your husband's only abuse was refusing to attend your AOS interview, which in turn gave you no other option but to pursue a VAWA waiver. I guess that refusing to attend the interview can be construed as "power" and "control" and as such, mental abuse.

3rd of all, you had the option of going back to your home country after the marriage broke down, yet chose to adjust status by yourself instead.

4th of all, in the year and a half you've been waiting for your I-360 to be adjudicated, you've done nothing to try and better you and your son's situation, all the while living off other people, getting things for free and blaming it all on the USCIS.

5th of all, you don't want to live off benefits, yet applied for them in Jan. of '05.

1.You never said "go to hell and join my bills. I told you to go there with my bills !! due to your nastiness

2.You have no idea what went on in my marriage and the abuse ,that both myself and my children endured. My attorney has 7 pages of it. My reasons for applying went way beyond "my husband not attending the AOS interview" . If you have any idea of VAWA then you would know that this is insufficient.

3. Yes I chose to adjust . That was my choice - for many reasons.

4. Before anyone started to help me I sold all the assets ie house, jeep that I had after the divorce and used that money to live on until it ran out. Do you actually think I like relying on people? Are you an abused immigrant , if not then do tell me how I could have bettered myself-I'm intrigued

5. If one has no income, cannot work and has a child do you really think one has a choice in the matter whether they like it or not?. It's called survival. Do tell me what you would have done in this case since you criticise me so readily. I am not blaming IT ALL on USCIS. Taking 4 months to forward a file is excessive and telling you, you have some benefits when you actually can't justifies some blame. The person whom I actually blame is my ex for the abuse and the situation he has put me in.

6. I am NOT teaching or working. I am qualified to teach. Yes my son is in school.

OK I'm done with you. It's obvious you cannot even start to comprehend what I'm going through. I really don't know what your problem is but go get it sorted before you really hurt someone emotionally. You don't want to end up becoming an abuser yourself.

[Fandango 1,439]

Shona, keeping you in my prayers and I hope things start to get easier for you.

[Lovetoteach 53]

Shona, keeping you in my prayers and I hope things start to get easier for you.

Thank you Lisa

[SC & TF 1]

Hey Shona, ignore that "dmartar" person. He's been on a different site www.ilw.com, posting insults too instead of giving advice. I can't believe he is also on this site. dmartar whoever you are, I've seen your comments on the other immigration site. You can't come here and do the same to VJ members. In case you don't realize it, we VJers are compassionate, and respectful of others and their situations. If you're not ready to give advice, then you shouldn't be allowed to post anything.

Good luck, Shona. I hope things get better.

Edited February 15, 2007 by SC & TF

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

I'm sure she has her reasons for staying. Luckily she is a great person (and educated) and once her application is approved, she will be finacially able to get all the that she and her children deserve.

[LaL 418]

i hope everything works out for you Shona. It's been a long, rough journey.