Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
lightbright

Very weird VAWA situation

23 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: Timeline

Hi folks.

So I have a serious conundrum that I'm looking for general advice on. It's messy, so please bear with me.

I'm a gay man who married his husband after a generally short courtship. I had some red flags before the marriage, but I went through it anyway with the best of intentions. We were together for about six months total (three months before married and three months afterward). Our breakup was absolutely spectacular, and it ended with me being assaulted. It was not a serious assault, but the police did make a report and nobody was charged.

My husband left. Over the next month, I tried to reconcile, and thought he was doing this too, but really he was conniving to build a case against me. When I saw the police report on our incident, he totally lied in the police interview. Upon getting a copy of the report, the officers at the police station expressed frustration with him because he keeps calling them wanting to press charges against ME for the incident. They keep telling him it's not going to happen, but he "doesn't seem to get that."

He's also fabricated stories and wants to present them with medical records (a month after the fact) that show I hit him, even though the police report that was filed on our incident says that he admitted hitting me and that I did not hit him.

During our "reconciliation," he was asking me to provide him with documents that would establish that we entered into a "good faith" marriage. After discovering that he was doing creepy things, and finding out about all the lies he's told me, I refused to do anything for him. He's in another state and has been very sweet when he wants something, but after all these lies, I cannot trust him anymore. He has serious untreated psychiatric illness that I did not know about before we married (he had some symptoms of depression beforehand, but nothing like this), and I truly believe he married me for a green card.

He is also an F-1 student who is now out of status and is DESPERATE to stay in the US. His university told him that he needs to go back to his home country to get a new visa, but he told me he needs bunch of documentation to substantiate why he went out of status.

I've realized that he is a psychotic compulsive liar (he assaulted ME, not the other way around) who I believe will do anything to stay in the US. I think he's going to try to get a green card under VAWA, hence why he's trying to get the police to press charges against me.

Since I cannot respond to a VAWA petition, I have no way to fight this, do I?

Also:

1. If he files, can he go back to school right away?

2. What are his chances of getting approved under VAWA? From what I've read, the burden of proof is low, and that's what I'm worried about.

3. Since we were married for only 3 months, and he's been in the US for years before, are they going to care about him being out of status?

I just want to get my life back. If I could rewind to the beginning, I would have never married him. I also don't want him getting any benefits from our sham of a marriage.

Please advise. Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi folks.

So I have a serious conundrum that I'm looking for general advice on. It's messy, so please bear with me.

I'm a gay man who married his husband after a generally short courtship. I had some red flags before the marriage, but I went through it anyway with the best of intentions. We were together for about six months total (three months before married and three months afterward). Our breakup was absolutely spectacular, and it ended with me being assaulted. It was not a serious assault, but the police did make a report and nobody was charged.

My husband left. Over the next month, I tried to reconcile, and thought he was doing this too, but really he was conniving to build a case against me. When I saw the police report on our incident, he totally lied in the police interview. Upon getting a copy of the report, the officers at the police station expressed frustration with him because he keeps calling them wanting to press charges against ME for the incident. They keep telling him it's not going to happen, but he "doesn't seem to get that."

He's also fabricated stories and wants to present them with medical records (a month after the fact) that show I hit him, even though the police report that was filed on our incident says that he admitted hitting me and that I did not hit him.

During our "reconciliation," he was asking me to provide him with documents that would establish that we entered into a "good faith" marriage. After discovering that he was doing creepy things, and finding out about all the lies he's told me, I refused to do anything for him. He's in another state and has been very sweet when he wants something, but after all these lies, I cannot trust him anymore. He has serious untreated psychiatric illness that I did not know about before we married (he had some symptoms of depression beforehand, but nothing like this), and I truly believe he married me for a green card.

He is also an F-1 student who is now out of status and is DESPERATE to stay in the US. His university told him that he needs to go back to his home country to get a new visa, but he told me he needs bunch of documentation to substantiate why he went out of status.

I've realized that he is a psychotic compulsive liar (he assaulted ME, not the other way around) who I believe will do anything to stay in the US. I think he's going to try to get a green card under VAWA, hence why he's trying to get the police to press charges against me.

Since I cannot respond to a VAWA petition, I have no way to fight this, do I?

Also:

1. If he files, can he go back to school right away?

2. What are his chances of getting approved under VAWA? From what I've read, the burden of proof is low, and that's what I'm worried about.

3. Since we were married for only 3 months, and he's been in the US for years before, are they going to care about him being out of status?

I just want to get my life back. If I could rewind to the beginning, I would have never married him. I also don't want him getting any benefits from our sham of a marriage.

Please advise. Thank you.

I'm sorry to read about your situation. I can't answer all of your questions unfortunately, but hopefully some more experienced members will chime in. My only advice is to contact ICE (if you haven't already) as he is overstaying his student visa. Here's a link to their website with contact information;

http://www.ice.gov

I wish you the very best of luck.


Now chronicling my experience in handy blog format at


http://the-shipping-forecast.tumblr.com/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

ICE probably can't or won't help. Instead, set an InfoPass appointment and speak with the FDNS officer. Bring copies of your existing immigration paperwork as background, along with all possible objective information that indicates fraud.

Aside from this, speak with an attorney about how to protect yourself legally and personally.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no existing immigration paperwork. We were only married for three months - we didn't have time to file it all before this happened.

Divorce and move on. Seek divorce lawyer to protect yourself as it may get ugly. As YOU have not filed any immigration paperwork (no case to refer them to), there is no need for you to do anything with them.

Edited by ppihtr123

Finished!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

I agree ICE are very unlikely to be interested. Only becomes an issue if he goes down the VAWA route.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Timeline

The thing is, I think he's very likely to go down the VAWA road. He's been repeatedly calling our local police department and trying to get them to file charges against me. (Which they have adamantly said they will NOT do.) He is an abusive compulsive liar, and I do not believe at all that he entered into this marriage in good faith. I want to ensure that he has no good way to stay here, especially from anything to do with me.

I know that sounds awful, but I wish I could just turn the clock back and not do any of this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

Sounds like you need a divorce lawyer.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

Not possible.

Not in your control.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Timeline

Well, then, what is the burden of proof? If he has no evidence other than his word and no documents, what are his chances? Also considering he's not new to the US just from our marriage ...

Edited by lightbright

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Timeline

Well, then, what is the burden of proof? If he has no evidence other than his word and no documents, what are his chances? Also considering he's not new to the US just from our marriage ...

There is nothing you can do other than to avoid contact with the person in question. We are only hearing one side of the story here... why are you so interested on his immigration status? Just file for divorce and move on with your life.


A country of Immigrants, that hates new Immigrants... Maybe if education was a right and NOT a luxury, it would be different.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

See a lawyer about dissolving whatever legal marriage contract you have entered into with this man. Then stay away from him, no contact, nothing.

The burden is on him to prove VAWA and to stay in the U.S.; the police will not help him file a false claim. Move on with your healing and your life.


"Wherever you go, you take yourself with you." --Neil Gaiman

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Filed: Other Country: United Kingdom
Timeline

The best advice is to just end the marriage and move on.

You haven't filed any affidavit of support so you're not obligated to him in that way and it doesn't affect you in any way if he files VAWA, just move on with your own life and forget everything about him other than the life lessons you've learned.

He might get his greencard, he might not. But he's not your problem any more.


August 2000: We start e-mailing. I'm in Bosnia, she's in Florida

October 29th 2000: She sends me e-mail asking if I would marry her

October 29th 2000(5 seconds later): I say yes

November 2000: She sends me tickets to Orlando for when I get back

December 6th 2000: Return from Bos

December 11th 2000: Fly to Orlando, she meets me at airport

December 22nd 2000: I fly back to UK

January 3rd 2001: She flies to UK (Good times)

Mid February 2001: Pregnancy test Positive

Mid February 2001: She flies back to US

March 2001: Miscarriage, I fly to US on first flight I can get

May 2001: I leave US before my 90 days are up

June 2001: I fly back to US, stopped at airport for questioning as I had only just left

September 2001: Pregnancy test Positive again

September 2001: She falls sick, I make decision to stay to look after her as I am afraid I may have problems getting back in.

April 16th 2002: Our son is born, we start getting stuff together for his passport

March 6th 2003: We leave US for UK as family

Early April 2003: Family troubles make her return to US, I ask Embassy in London about possibilities of returning to US

April 16th 2003: London Embassy informs me that I will be banned from the Visa Waiver Program for 10 years, my little boys first birthday

June 13th 2006: I-129f sent

August 11th 2006: NOA1 Recieved

After our relationship breaks down she admits to me that she had never bothered to start the application process

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...