Feel like giving up, help!

[yuna628 9,528]

We have done the long distance thing many times over the last 5 years but this time (and not having any control) things are the hardest they have ever been and I feel like giving up.

Things have got very strained at the moment (to the point of breakdown) and don't know if we can carry on like this without having any concrete idea when at least the NOA2 might come. I know people are going to say its 6 months but really its impossible to tell where TSC is at currently. Knowing that would give some hope.

We are in the 5th month at TSC, and now i know the Processing times on VJ are pretty much useless who knows where TSC are right now. Does anyone out there have any idea

where TSC are at?

Hey there fellow Marylander.

I have known my fiancé for 11 years now. We met for the first time 10 years ago. We tried to make visits every single year and that was wonderful, but there was one stretch of time that we didn't see eachother except for phone/internet every day for three years. That was really hard.

Now ask yourself and your darling this. What has changed in the being apart mostly every single day before, to being apart for these five months? The answer is usually not much, except the anticipation that at the end of this new stretch of waiting something really wonderful will happen. You have not much longer to wait I expect perhaps a month or two more. And if not you have the option to hound them when you are past normal processing times.

It is hard I know to say goodnight to your darling and not be able to hold them. It is hard when you have to say goodbye to them at an airport. It is hard to close that internet window or put down the phone. As to where TSC is right now I have seen some claim to them working on March, but there was indeed a case just approved that filed in June.

My only suggestion is to keep up hope, and don't focus too much on it right now. Do things together that can pass the time. Plan out your wedding the best you can, if you're having one. Think of the good things to come. Hang in there!

You are ahead of me in your current wait, so I know good things will happen soon. Some days I'm depressed and other days I'm happy thinking about it all. We all have those moments. Don't be afraid of them, it will only make you stronger.

[Kay&Jay 44]

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!

[shahara2013 16]

It is hard. Sometimes just putting it out there to people that get it helps though. We get you.

[DaveStephChalm 3]

We have been in a relationship for close to 8 years now. When we finally decided to do the immigration process back in 2011, we did the K1 and were denied. We were devastated and tried again as married, 2 years later my spouse was able to come with a spouse visa.

Long distance relationships aren't easy at all, and anyone who says they are is lying. Plus the US government makes it much more difficult than it has to be so I completely understand your frustration.

But you have to remember that relationships involve commitment and sacrifice, if you're not willing to do that for each other then you both have to make that decision now and save yourselves the heartbreak. Good luck and I hope you work things out.

I think what you say about commitment is correct!!!

My now wife and I met on facebook in 2010, I visited her and her children in the USA six months later, she visited me and my family in Australia six months later. I returned to the USA 12 months later and again in 12 months when I proposed to her and promised to keep coming back until we could be together.

In Apr 2013 we wed in the USA.

My now brother i law made a rally nice speech out our wedding. I took my wife on a coastal hike in Tasmania at a place called ship stern bluff, we skyped him from that remote location showing him a storm front that was rolling in, this was an analogy that he refers to in that speech he gave us, that "those will be like the storms you will face through life, during that day, they found a shelter and waited together until the storm blew out...."

For my circumstances it's not possible to migrate right now, but we will start the process soon.... but for now our shelter is hope and the love we have for one another and the cheap Vodafone International calling plan, skype, facebook and a commitment to each other.

Immigration I joke is a bureaucracy to keep people in jobs, sometime I think they just want to make sure that people ARE committed if they're willing to go through this, whatever I love my wife very dearly and if I have to keep coming back on VWP then that is what I will do...... but my experience with any government instrument is.... it depend on who you get on the day with the stamp in their hand! Keep up your hope

[imcoming 21]

will you give up on the marriage so easily as well? If I were you fiance I wouldn't be very happy if the person who is supposed to love me the most is ready to give up on me because of a little waiting. Are you in high school or are you an adult?

Well it's not me who's close to giving up...There are other factors involved which I can't talk about on here. If you are the adult maybe you shouldn't be so quick to judge?

[imcoming 21]

Hey there fellow Marylander.

I have known my fiancé for 11 years now. We met for the first time 10 years ago. We tried to make visits every single year and that was wonderful, but there was one stretch of time that we didn't see eachother except for phone/internet every day for three years. That was really hard.

Now ask yourself and your darling this. What has changed in the being apart mostly every single day before, to being apart for these five months? The answer is usually not much, except the anticipation that at the end of this new stretch of waiting something really wonderful will happen. You have not much longer to wait I expect perhaps a month or two more. And if not you have the option to hound them when you are past normal processing times.

It is hard I know to say goodnight to your darling and not be able to hold them. It is hard when you have to say goodbye to them at an airport. It is hard to close that internet window or put down the phone. As to where TSC is right now I have seen some claim to them working on March, but there was indeed a case just approved that filed in June.

My only suggestion is to keep up hope, and don't focus too much on it right now. Do things together that can pass the time. Plan out your wedding the best you can, if you're having one. Think of the good things to come. Hang in there!

You are ahead of me in your current wait, so I know good things will happen soon. Some days I'm depressed and other days I'm happy thinking about it all. We all have those moments. Don't be afraid of them, it will only make you stronger.

Hey Marylander! Thank you for your kind words of support, they really helped! I wish you the best of luck too!

[Clauwick 5]

I'm not seeing my boyfriend since June 2013, we are no longer young to have a whole life ahead, all I want is more power embraces it again if I have to wait until my last breath. God gives us strength for this long journey, our faith can not be shaken.

Lucky for all of us

[Nakai & Vic 15]

Your focusing way to much on it, relax a little get out and do some things together. We spend our time dating and I know it sounds crazy but skype has been my best phone app, no lie we go to the movies, to lunch all on skype. Don't focus so much on the approval it will come in Gods time, but instead start focusing on your life one your together. I am sure if you give it some though there are things you can begin doing to prepare. Make room in the closet is a good place to start. Start thinking and discussing where you first want to visit once you are together. My fiance wants to go to D.C. and NYC. My point is find things to pass the time.

[Jawaree 717]

Wow that easy you would give up?

no judgment here ok just want to say

with straight-forward immigration cases

think a yr, when it comes before be happy,

There are some who have 3, 5 10 yrs wait

before decisions and others banned for life

these ppl would be willing to change places with

you. As a couple don't allow immigration to kill

what you have, its stressful, but both should

fight together....good luck

[menina 50]

I remember very well feeling the same way. Our process took around 5 months to approval, and every minute was torture. Having applied and received a tourist visa to Brasil in one day, I had not idea when I started the process that it would take so long. (And our approval was actually pretty fast compared to others). While its true that focusing on other things will help you get through the waiting, sometimes it is impossible not to think about it. Hang in there--you will make it--and it will be so wonderful when you see that approval letter. VJ is a wonderful place to get support and share your good and bad moments. Hopefully an approval will come soon! Love is worth it!

[L.O.V.E 0]

Don't give up, everything will be okay what matters most is that you love each other. Don't let loneliness kill you.. Think of happy thoughts..

[AR&CB 2]

I'm only going on 10 days since NOA1 and I'm totally stressed out and I only met my fiancee in person once since we met online. Some days I wake up feeling positive and then their's other days I wake up feeling like it's never going to happen. It's like I am in a panic that something is going to go wrong at the interview, meanwhile the interview is probably not going to be for another 7-8 months...lol

This is normal and all of us go through the same feelings during this process. What delayed everything here was my attorney wouldn't submit my paperwork until I at least been in the relationship for a year which does make sense and looks more legit IMO.

To all of us going through this painful process; hang in there. As they say, better days are coming!!!

[sma1488 155]

I'm only going on 10 days since NOA1 and I'm totally stressed out and I only met my fiancee in person once since we met online. Some days I wake up feeling positive and then their's other days I wake up feeling like it's never going to happen. It's like I am in a panic that something is going to go wrong at the interview, meanwhile the interview is probably not going to be for another 7-8 months...lol

This is normal and all of us go through the same feelings during this process. What delayed everything here was my attorney wouldn't submit my paperwork until I at least been in the relationship for a year which does make sense and looks more legit IMO.

To all of us going through this painful process; hang in there. As they say, better days are coming!!!

That might make sense to the average person, but in terms of the K-1 visa process it makes no sense whatsoever to wait for a year. I would have gotten a new lawyer.

[AR&CB 2]

That might make sense to the average person, but in terms of the K-1 visa process it makes no sense whatsoever to wait for a year. I would have gotten a new lawyer.

In my case waiting all that time since my fiancee and I physically met did add more proof that our relationship was genuine because it gave us time to send an additional amount of copies of letters, cards, and receipts from gifts I sent since we physically met so it worked out better to wait in my case.

[raven52 233]

Hang in there, this will just look like a bad dream, one day!

My wife and I was 10 months and 4 days, from NOA 1, to P.O.E., Atlanta.

We even endured the ""crooked fiasco"" called "sputum" from St. Luke's, and 1 week earlier, I had my wife get a chest x-ray at the best x-ray facility in Cebu, and was "totally clear"".,..,.,then one week later her chest x-ray was "suspicious".,.,.,.,??? It has been widely speculated that the doctors at St. Luke's are told to send 30-50% to "sputum" on certain weeks..,.,.,.so we know, how you feel, like kicked in the stomach!

But, now, it is just a bad memory! We are so happy!

Hang in there, we have all had our hard times...,.,., good luck, and a "speedy approval!"