Another Divorce Thread

[Magandamorena 0]

I have this friend..... (no seriously, it actually is a friend!!)

She's strongly considering giving up and going back to the Philippines. She was asking me some of the details of divorce here in the USA as I've gone through a divorce once before. I browsed the posts here for a few hours, but it really does seem that her case is a little bit unique. Any advice or help would be very much appreciated.

The facts:

Filipina Citizen

US Citizen Husband

Texas Residents

Arrived to the USA 10 months ago on a K1 visa.

Married 7 months ago

Never filed Report of Marriage

Never filed AOS, EAD, AP, Green Card

Never got a Social Security number

Very limited funds

She feels trapped and is looking at her options to go "home".

She is doubtful that her husband will cooperate in a divorce.

What options does she have? I was thinking that since there was never a Report of Marriage to PH, that she could just hop on a plane and mostly be done with it. It would seem that it would just put him in a situation where only he is being "negatively" effected by the lame duck marriage, and he'd maybe cooperate with the divorce. I don't want her to have too many options closed to her in the future with the USA or potentially other relationships, etc.

Would she need to come back to the USA to finalize the divorce? She would not be able to get a visa to do that, right? What bridges would she be burning if she did just hop a plane? If that creates too many issues, what is the next most direct route to get out of her unhappy situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

[Hypnos 6,579]

If her overstay has reached 180 days (which seems likely given the timeline you gave) then she has a three year bar from the US that will be activated as soon as she departs. If her overstay reaches 365 days then it will become a ten year bar, again activated on her departure.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Hypnos

[danver 15]

I have this friend..... (no seriously, it actually is a friend!!)

She's strongly considering giving up and going back to the Philippines. She was asking me some of the details of divorce here in the USA as I've gone through a divorce once before. I browsed the posts here for a few hours, but it really does seem that her case is a little bit unique. Any advice or help would be very much appreciated.

The facts:

Filipina Citizen

US Citizen Husband

Texas Residents

Arrived to the USA 10 months ago on a K1 visa.

Married 7 months ago

Never filed Report of Marriage

Never filed AOS, EAD, AP, Green Card

Never got a Social Security number

Very limited funds

She feels trapped and is looking at her options to go "home".

She is doubtful that her husband will cooperate in a divorce.

What options does she have? I was thinking that since there was never a Report of Marriage to PH, that she could just hop on a plane and mostly be done with it. It would seem that it would just put him in a situation where only he is being "negatively" effected by the lame duck marriage, and he'd maybe cooperate with the divorce. I don't want her to have too many options closed to her in the future with the USA or potentially other relationships, etc.

Would she need to come back to the USA to finalize the divorce? She would not be able to get a visa to do that, right? What bridges would she be burning if she did just hop a plane? If that creates too many issues, what is the next most direct route to get out of her unhappy situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

If she's out of status and is not happy with her situation.. I think she should go back home ..that is if things don't really work out...instead of staying here illegally.

[bendinlar 16]

If her overstay has reached 180 days (which seems likely given the timeline you gave) then she has a three year bar from the US that will be activated as soon as she departs. If her overstay reaches 365 days then it will become a ten year bar, again activated on her departure.

Would this apply even though they got married inside the 90 days as required? I thought that once they were married, overstay was a non issue. Or is that just when it comes to the adjustment of status?

To the op: What is the cause of the unhappiness? If just because of boredom, or something along those lines I'd say give it time.

If its deeper, like hubby not wanting to let her out of the house, or have total control over her, well, that's too deep for me, need real help to get out of that kind of situation.

Hoping for the best for your friend.

[Hypnos 6,579]

Would this apply even though they got married inside the 90 days as required? I thought that once they were married, overstay was a non issue. Or is that just when it comes to the adjustment of status?

It's irrespective of whether they got married or when. Once the initial 90 day period of authorised stay expires, the K-1 is out of status from that day - whether they got married or not. Filing AoS would have "stopped the clock" on the overstay, but since that didn't happen then the overstay continued to accrue. As soon as 180 days of overstay was reached then the 3 year bar was in play, and it will be activated the day the OP's friend departs the US.

If they had filed for AoS then the overstay would not have been an impediment to be able to successfully adjust, but if they're not filing then now it will be an issue.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Hypnos

[Boiler 48,788]

Probably the overstay is not important.

She will find Divorce in the US much easier to do, but from what I gather not recognised in PI anyway.

To leave she just needs a Passport and a Ticket.

[Greenbaum 12,262]

Boiler, on 23 Aug 2014 - 4:29 PM, said:Boiler, on 23 Aug 2014 - 4:29 PM, said:

Probably the overstay is not important.

She will find Divorce in the US much easier to do, but from what I gather not recognised in PI anyway.

To leave she just needs a Passport and a Ticket.

You are half right. If she leaves and he files a divorce and if she can get the divorce paperwork she can run it through the Phil government which will make her free and clear to remarry whether she did a ROM or not. If she does the divorce against her hubby and returns to PI, her divorce will not be recognized, but at some time she can clear the marriage with an annulment. Long and costly to say the least.

She needs to have a conversation with her hubby and ask him to file the divorce, give her a final copy, and then put her on a plane and she is out of his life and she has her life back and can remarry with no problems as long as she has filed everything in the PI properly.

She doesn't need to be present but does need the final copy of the divorce. He can't remarry unless he is divorced so I think he is motivated. If she leaves without a divorce and he refuses to give her a copy of the final decree she just needs to know where the divorce took place and contact the county court house to receive a copy. Might be hard to do from the Philippines so if she has a friend that can help it would be beneficial to her.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Greenbaum

[Hank_ 9,174]

I have this friend..... (no seriously, it actually is a friend!!)

She's strongly considering giving up and going back to the Philippines. She was asking me some of the details of divorce here in the USA as I've gone through a divorce once before. I browsed the posts here for a few hours, but it really does seem that her case is a little bit unique. Any advice or help would be very much appreciated.

The facts:

Filipina Citizen

US Citizen Husband

Texas Residents

Arrived to the USA 10 months ago on a K1 visa.

Married 7 months ago

Never filed Report of Marriage

Never filed AOS, EAD, AP, Green Card

Never got a Social Security number

Very limited funds

She feels trapped and is looking at her options to go "home".

She is doubtful that her husband will cooperate in a divorce.

What options does she have? I was thinking that since there was never a Report of Marriage to PH, that she could just hop on a plane and mostly be done with it. It would seem that it would just put him in a situation where only he is being "negatively" effected by the lame duck marriage, and he'd maybe cooperate with the divorce. I don't want her to have too many options closed to her in the future with the USA or potentially other relationships, etc.

Would she need to come back to the USA to finalize the divorce? She would not be able to get a visa to do that, right? What bridges would she be burning if she did just hop a plane? If that creates too many issues, what is the next most direct route to get out of her unhappy situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

I agree with your thinking, and for sure it would be to the benefit of the husband to file for divorce before your friend goes back to the Philippines. Your friend would find it extremely difficult to get a tourist visa to come back to the states to finalize a divorce, of course there are some states where divorce is pretty simple.

Your friend would not be burning any bridges that I can see, not filing AOS is on the shoulders of her husband (and limited funds is the source IMHO). In reality she is married, just not recorded in the Philippines. She will need this issue handled if she ever wants to marry again... doing otherwise will come to bite her in the behind down the road and ruin her future. The husband not getting the divorce while your friend is still in the states will ruin his day for sure.

If there is some way to talk to the husband, suggest getting a simple "no contest" divorce, so each can go on with their lives.

If he doesn't agree, your friend needs to do what is best for herself and go back to the Philippines.

[Hank_ 9,174]

I have this friend..... (no seriously, it actually is a friend!!)

She's strongly considering giving up and going back to the Philippines. She was asking me some of the details of divorce here in the USA as I've gone through a divorce once before. I browsed the posts here for a few hours, but it really does seem that her case is a little bit unique. Any advice or help would be very much appreciated.

The facts:

Filipina Citizen

US Citizen Husband

Texas Residents

Arrived to the USA 10 months ago on a K1 visa.

Married 7 months ago

Never filed Report of Marriage

Never filed AOS, EAD, AP, Green Card

Never got a Social Security number

Very limited funds

She feels trapped and is looking at her options to go "home".

She is doubtful that her husband will cooperate in a divorce.

What options does she have? I was thinking that since there was never a Report of Marriage to PH, that she could just hop on a plane and mostly be done with it. It would seem that it would just put him in a situation where only he is being "negatively" effected by the lame duck marriage, and he'd maybe cooperate with the divorce. I don't want her to have too many options closed to her in the future with the USA or potentially other relationships, etc.

Would she need to come back to the USA to finalize the divorce? She would not be able to get a visa to do that, right? What bridges would she be burning if she did just hop a plane? If that creates too many issues, what is the next most direct route to get out of her unhappy situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

Was talking with my Asawa about your friend. Had an

Your friend could file for the divorce, contact legal aid or social services in her county (not sure here but for sure contact one of them), some states offer very simple divorces ($99) even. I say, if the husband won't file then your friend should, being the marriage was not recorded in the Philippines getting the divorce recorded there is not necessary either... a free pass on this one. Having the divorce decree safely tucked away handles any future situations should she ever find another to marry. Keeps everything on the up and up... all is good.

Kick the toad to the curb... move on with life.

[Hank_ 9,174]

You are half right. If she leaves and he files a divorce and if she can get the divorce paperwork she can run it through the Phil government which will make her free and clear to remarry whether she did a ROM or not. If she does the divorce against her hubby and returns to PI, her divorce will not be recognized, but at some time she can clear the marriage with an annulment. Long and costly to say the least.

She needs to have a conversation with her hubby and ask him to file the divorce, give her a final copy, and then put her on a plane and she is out of his life and she has her life back and can remarry with no problems as long as she has filed everything in the PI properly.

She doesn't need to be present but does need the final copy of the divorce. He can't remarry unless he is divorced so I think he is motivated. If she leaves without a divorce and he refuses to give her a copy of the final decree she just needs to know where the divorce took place and contact the county court house to receive a copy. Might be hard to do from the Philippines so if she has a friend that can help it would be beneficial to her.

My thinking on this is that the marriage was not reported in the Philippines so trying to process a recognition of divorce would be impossible being there is no marriage to notate it to. In this case "let sleeping dogs lay", she can do the divorce if the husband refuses, then tuck the divorce decree away for safe keeping once she is safe and home in the Philippines so that if some day down the road she needs it she has it (keep a copy in "the cloud")

As far as the Philippines go, they see her as single still.

Edited August 24, 2014 by Hank_

[Ontarkie 15,139]

~~Duplicate thread removed. One reply was made in both threads so no need to merge~~

[Luthias&Lee 1]

This sounds very fishey to me. There is always two sides to every story. I for one would like to know his before everyone labels him the bad guy

Edited August 24, 2014 by Luthias&Lee

[derrickmichille 55]

Does not sounds fishy to me at all, she wants to go back home. What's fishy about that?

Also she wants to keep her options open, sounds like a smart woman to me, and I really have not seen anyone paint the husband as a bad guy. The woman is a friend of the OP, so that's who we are trying to help.

OP, tell your friend to divorce in the states and keep divorce decree and go back home to live her life!!!

I wish her good luck!!!

[Greenbaum 12,262]

Luthias&Lee, on 23 Aug 2014 - 11:34 PM, said:

This sounds very fishey to me. There is always two sides to every story. I for one would like to know his before everyone labels him the bad guy

Yes your right, we don't know both sides of the story. But we have no way of knowing his side so, do you just ignore the OP's question because you need both sides of the story? This forum is not a court. It's a blog of ideas and the OP asked for our "ideas" on what would be her options. That's all it is.

[Greenbaum 12,262]

Hank_, on 23 Aug 2014 - 9:03 PM, said:Hank_, on 23 Aug 2014 - 9:03 PM, said:

My thinking on this is that the marriage was not reported in the Philippines so trying to process a recognition of divorce would be impossible being there is no marriage to notate it to. In this case "let sleeping dogs lay", she can do the divorce if the husband refuses, then tuck the divorce decree away for safe keeping once she is safe and home in the Philippines so that if some day down the road she needs it she has it (keep a copy in "the cloud")

As far as the Philippines go, they see her as single still.

Being and "old dog that I am" and wanting to sleep on this I agree with you Hank. Do what she needs to do here in the states to clear her name and go back home and begin her life a new. Simple solution.

Edited August 24, 2014 by Greenbaum