Separated, pregnant from another man, no health insurrance a HOT MESS !!!

[Jawaree 717]

Yor are deceiving his mom ...sit her down tell her u were

married looking to divorce, don't keep up the charade & her

love turns to detesting you for the lies, also file for divorce, I

would not give ex info on pregnancy if its over, just send him

papers to sign & please make sure he is not on the hook for

any payments for you receiving any benefits, its the right thing

to do

[christeen 966]

Agreed! Before you can move forward with you life... You need to take ownership of the decisions your have made and start without lies and having to hide things... You need tombe a grown up and to take responsibility for your life, mistakes and decisions... They WILL come back to haunt you if your do not... Anything based on lies and deceit is bound for failure...

[Peter_Pan 661]

You are going to have an interesting time removing conditions. How are you going to prove a bone fide relationship when you live far from your husband and are pregnant with some else's child? I hope you kept proof from when you did live together and were a family.

PS - Sorry you're stuck in the hellhole that's Louisiana, can't wait to get out of here myself.

[DreamNHope 9]

Hi everybody, I live in Louisiana.

Me and my soon to be ex husband have been separated since last April... We married in Nov 2011, our mariage didn't last a year because within a year we realized we were too different and more, we do love each other but we are not happy together.

I have my 2yr GC (expires in oct 2014), he wanted me to go back to France because I was unemployed at the time but within a month I found a job at Petsmart and I still work for the company. The income is low $8/h and I work 30hours a week compared to what I used to do in France ($22/h full time) but anyways when I left my husband I moved in with a lady she had a spare room for rent 150 a month on CL, which is great bc I was denied everywhere I applied to find a place.

Me and that lady's son got really intimate around June and now I am pregnant (birth control failed)... I don't know what to do ?? I thought about abortion but I am 28 and during a long time I thought I couldn't have a baby.

And now that I am, I'm so excited about it but scared... My husband didn't want kids or in our 40's (that's one of the reasons I left too)

My new boyfriend knows my situation and wants us to keep the baby but :

- no health insurrance.

- a retail job with low wage and around animals.

- not yet divorce (last time I heard from my husband was in July, he changed his phone number and everything)

Now I just want to divorce and provide the best for my baby. I thought about going back to France but my boyfriend wants to be around.

Help please!!!

I've heard similar stories to this one elsewhere before........That's right, it's the Maury Povich show!

Seriously lady, you can't wait til you finish divorcing your "legal" husband before starting to date a new boyfriend? In this case, you even engage in SEXUAL activities with someone other than your hubby while still legally being married!

Isn't there a word for that and it's called "cheating"?

Anyway, I feel sorry for the innocent child. Being brought into the world unprepared for, emotionally and financially.

And thanks a lot for putting another child on the Medicaid roll!

Mod, ban me if you want. My blood boils whenever I read threads like this one and this forum acts like everything is wanky danky.

[JohnR! 5,495]

My new boyfriend knows my situation and wants us to keep the baby but :

- no health insurrance.

- a retail job with low wage and around animals.

- not yet divorce (last time I heard from my husband was in July, he changed his phone number and everything)

Now I just want to divorce and provide the best for my baby. I thought about going back to France but my boyfriend wants to be around.

Help please!!!

A couple of suggestions:

1 - Have you considered an abortion, given that chances are you will not be able to provide to your baby properly under the conditions you outline if you are to remain in the US?

2 - Have you discussed with your boyfriend the possibility of moving with him to France where you might be able to have the baby and enough state assistance to keep it and provide for it?

You will be hard pressed to care for a child with such low income and no insurance so you might want to weigh your options. I wish you luck whatever your decision.

[Shiobhan 235]

Uh'....this is a grown woman who

knows what she has done & wants

to do,ppl fall out of love,4get about

GC a minute, now she should abort?

Both parents wants the kid and are

working ppl, what if all who got

pregnant unplanned were advise to

abort...what if she dies during abortion?

Its a womans right to decide and its her

body, no excuse in what she did but

she is now with child.

How do ppl get on the net and get perfect?

judge not least he be judge, I have never

cheated on my husband after these years

and don't plan to ,but I cant judge anyone

and have not walked in their shoe, I cant

call it cheating if they broke up and the man

is gone, I just think OP should have wrapped

things up B4 starting a new relationship, but I

am not here to point fingers or demean anyone

I hope things will work in OP favor, most of the

worlds population mom and dad had not planned

to become pregnant.

[Aleke86 5]

A couple of suggestions:

1 - Have you considered an abortion, given that chances are you will not be able to provide to your baby properly under the conditions you outline if you are to remain in the US?

2 - Have you discussed with your boyfriend the possibility of moving with him to France where you might be able to have the baby and enough state assistance to keep it and provide for it?

You will be hard pressed to care for a child with such low income and no insurance so you might want to weigh your options. I wish you luck whatever your decision.

I thought about abortion but the CATHOLIC clinic I went, showed me a video and ummm no way... Plus my aunt had an abortion and she died from complications, so I don't feel like it...

I know my baby will miss alot but he/she won't miss love... and if it's too hard, well of course I will go back to France, the country with the most assistance ever. trust that! but my boyfriend don't want to leave louisiana so we will see...

And thank you Jihana for your message... me and my husband met in 08 everything was perfect until i moved in, so those who are coming to the US...be careful, people change once you live with them,but anyways dreamNhope you have the right to give your opinion and your blood can keep boiling too dude!!!

[DreamNHope 9]

I thought about abortion but the CATHOLIC clinic I went, showed me a video and ummm no way... Plus my aunt had an abortion and she died from complications, so I don't feel like it...

I know my baby will miss alot but he/she won't miss love... and if it's too hard, well of course I will go back to France, the country with the most assistance ever. trust that! but my boyfriend don't want to leave louisiana so we will see...

And thank you Jihana for your message... me and my husband met in 08 everything was perfect until i moved in, so those who are coming to the US...be careful, people change once you live with them,but anyways dreamNhope you have the right to give your opinion and your blood can keep boiling too dude!!!

My blood is boiled for the child. Grown adults engage in irresponsible activities and the children get all the fun (pun intended).

We have enough teenagers having kids in this country problem already. But they are TEENs, not mature adults, who are capable of planning in advance for the future.

Well, now we do know there are adults out there who behave like children as well.

And those adults have the nerve to come in here blaming the "sponsoring" petitioners for their current/existing problems.

[DreamNHope 9]

Uh'....this is a grown woman who

knows what she has done & wants

to do,ppl fall out of love,4get about

GC a minute, now she should abort?

Both parents wants the kid and are

working ppl, what if all who got

pregnant unplanned were advise to

abort...what if she dies during abortion?

Its a womans right to decide and its her

body, no excuse in what she did but

she is now with child.

How do ppl get on the net and get perfect?

judge not least he be judge, I have never

cheated on my husband after these years

and don't plan to ,but I cant judge anyone

and have not walked in their shoe, I cant

call it cheating if they broke up and the man

is gone, I just think OP should have wrapped

things up B4 starting a new relationship, but I

am not here to point fingers or demean anyone

I hope things will work in OP favor, most of the

worlds population mom and dad had not planned

to become pregnant.

Keep your pants zipped up unless you can afford the child birth hospitall bill.

That's how grown, mature and responsible adults (both male and female alike) should do.

Having sex comes with big responsibility. Don't just run around, do it, and then come to the internet proclaiming to strangers "Ooops, I messed up. What do I do now?"

Should have come here first, ask "Am I ready for sex? Do you all agree?".........if you can't figure out on your own whether sex is good for you or not, literally!

Edited December 11, 2013 by DreamNHope

[Jawaree 717]

Ah Ah AH...if only the world was

black & white with no gray areas.

[TBoneTX 43,331]

Let's remain civil and focus on what the OP might do now; the past is the past and can't be changed.

[Aleke86 5]

Let's remain civil and focus on what the OP might do now; the past is the past and can't be changed.

Well said, thank you !!!

[Jawaree 717]

OP 21 yrs or so U will look back & see

any decision U made, were in the interest

of your baby, U have no other kids, this

baby may be a blessing, love, food,shelter

& education for the child. Get an atty that

can give u professional advice, and some

gives a payment plan goodbye, best wishes

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I thought about abortion but the CATHOLIC clinic I went, showed me a video and ummm no way... Plus my aunt had an abortion and she died from complications, so I don't feel like it...

I know my baby will miss alot but he/she won't miss love... and if it's too hard, well of course I will go back to France, the country with the most assistance ever. trust that! but my boyfriend don't want to leave louisiana so we will see...

And thank you Jihana for your message... me and my husband met in 08 everything was perfect until i moved in, so those who are coming to the US...be careful, people change once you live with them,but anyways dreamNhope you have the right to give your opinion and your blood can keep boiling too dude!!!

I am perplexed as to why this keeps on happening.

Do you have guiding words for others on red flags to watch for?

[Kajikit 65]

I am perplexed as to why this keeps on happening.

Do you have guiding words for others on red flags to watch for?

(why do so many people 'change' after they're married and turn out not to be what you thought they were?) Simple... no matter how much you love somebody, and how long you spend talking on the phone and via emails etc etc, you cannot REALLY know what somebody else is like until you have lived with them for at least a year... Add in the fact that people today tend to think that a marriage should be perfect from beginning to end, and if it isn't then it must be time to move on, and a long-distance relationship has a MAJOR stumbling block in its path from the beginning. The immigration system is deliberately set up to prevent this from happening. If all you have are holiday visits, you can prolong the honeymoon period for years (or else split up before you ever even get to the wedding!)

But not all long-distance relationships fail - we were engaged for four years and we spent ONE two-week visit together in that whole time... but thousands of hours on the phone and internet.Sure, we've had times when we've squabbled over the basics of life, like dirty laundry on the floor and who does the dishes when the first flush of marital happiness wore off and we settled down to reality... everyone does. But we didn't expect everything to be perfect so we figured it out, and we've faced the big hurdles in our life (some REALLY big ones) the same way as the little ones - together. In two days we're having our ninth wedding anniversary.

To the OP, the first thing to do now is to clean up the legal mess in your life - since you're not with your husband any more and you don't WANT to be with your husband any more, and you're in fact in love with somebody else and having their kid, GET A DIVORCE ASAP. You don't want to be a Jerry Springer episode...