ROC waiver

[jaycali 415]

So I'm closing my 3 month mark since I arrived on a CR-1 visa, and as many of you know, my marriage took a very dramatic turn in the wrong direction last month. (If you want the full story you can PM me). Basically - She had an affair, and I found out. The affair was a long time ago.. Last summer, but the trust is gone. We've tried living "normally", talking about things, getting back into normal, but it just isn't the same anymore. This all opened a Pandora's box to a multitude of underlying issues and playing a blame game back and forth. We still haven't separated - None of us can afford to move out (we didn't expect to pay full rent on our own), and we've both been very weary of taking the ultimate step of separating, as both our lives, as well as our families' lives have become very intertwined through the years. My family knows bits and pieces, her family knows nothing yet. We still have not made a firm decision, but it's going in that direction.

This place, this city, does have bad associations to me though. We live in Hawaii. I know where the guy lives, I know where he works. It's a small island, it's not like I can "get away" easily. It's just all a mess. I'm not happy. She's not happy. Staying together does not feel right. Leaving is just scary. Plus, frankly, I cannot afford to go anywhere. I can barely afford a plane ticket, much less actually quitting my job, and getting a new place. I work full time, and I'm very happy with my job, I see a career in this line of work. I got an offer from a competitor today (same line of work) for a position with them, slightly higher pay, and they have locations on the mainland as well. I was actually offered a position in San Francisco, with aid in relocating. I don't know anyone in San Francisco. Have never been there, but it would offer me a way out of this mess, and I do have acquaintances and some family in southern California, so the offer is tempting.

Aside from the major step of parting ways with the girl who for the last 3.5 years has been the love of my life, another thing I am very weary of, obviously, is re-settling knowing I'll have to ROC in a year and a half. I know I can file for ROC with a divorce waiver, but I have no idea how difficult these are to obtain. In essence, should we finally decide to separate and divorce, I don't want to re-settle and start a new life over again if getting ROC is a long shot. Then I'd much rather just go back to where I came from - An option that is very unappealing to me at this point as it would mean moving in with my parents, and looking for a new job, again. I've spent we've spent tremendous amounts of time and resources planning a life together for the past 2 years. I don't have the resources or stomach to keep doing this. Nor do I (or my parents) have the resources to quit and move in with my parents.

As far as evidence I can prove beyond a shred of doubt that we were a real couple. But the big elephant in the USCIS interview room would obviously be the fact that we would be separated so shortly after I moved here. What I can prove is the following:

I can prove that we got married in the US while I was in valid F-1 status, and moved to my country instead of filing for AOS - We initially wanted to live in my country.

I can prove that I went to the US 4 times on the VWP after getting married, but that we never filed for AOS.

I can prove that we lived in my country and didn't file the I-130 until 11 months after the wedding - We didn't decide on the US until my wife gave up on the language barrier and cold climate.

I can prove that I entered the US 3 months before the 2 year mark, instead of waiting a few months for an IR-1 - I didn't expect in a million years the possibility of filing ROC with a waiver.

I have a ton of pictures of vacations we've taken in different states and countries, as well as pictures of our relationship spanning over 3 years, many with family. I have receipts for plane tickets and a hotel in Greece with her and my family from August. Pictures from Portugal, London, Iceland, New York, California, Hawaii, Alaska, cruise to Canada with her grandmother. Receipt for the cruise showing her name, my name and her grandmother's name.

I could get affidavits from her parents and her brother. From our old boss that we were a real couple (we worked for the same company when I was on OPT).

We're still on good terms, although it feels superficial to me, but she'd likely be willing to write an affidavit as well - Hopefully she'd be willing to admit in it that she had an affair. If not, I still have the password to her email, and could probably be sneaky enough to log in and look up any email from the "lover" that proves an affair. But I really don't want to do that. I don't want to read any of his emails to her. Ever.

As far as co-mingling of assets etc. we have had a joint bank account for almost a year now, but she has her own as well that she uses mostly (it's closer to her work, and the same one her work uses), she's a manager so she handles her work's money and she found it more convenient to use that bank. I have the PIN code etc, but my name isn't on the account. The joint account is my primary account, I haven't switched because I get airline miles (I'm big on those), she still has the card for that account and uses it once in a while.

We have a family cell phone plan.

I'm not listed on the apartment lease (she signed it with our roommate a couple months before I moved here), but I can prove that I've been paying the cable bill (it's in my name). We really just divide the bills between us. She'll pay the rent one month, and I'll pay the cell phone, electricity and car etc. Or vice versa. I can also show that I got an official USPS address change here, and that I reported this address as my home address when I reported my move to my country's gov't. I can also show my bank statements, social security card, pay checks etc coming to this address. Our roommate would probably be willing to attest to the fact that I live here as well.

Our car doesn't have my name on it either, but I can prove that I've made payments on it (I wasn't living here last summer when we got it). She doesn't have a problem putting my name on the car, we just haven't had the time to go to the DMV to get it done, and frankly, it hasn't been a priority. I'm also listed as a driver of that car on our joint car insurance. I am listed as beneficiary on her medical insurance, and we filed taxes as married last year and filing married this year. Her aunt does our taxes, and I could probably get an affidavit from her aunt too. Beyond that, I don't have much.

I could probably get an affidavit from an ex USC girlfriend I dated for 2 years a long time ago that she wanted to get married, but that I never popped the question.. If that would help.

Being creative, I could show pay checks from the job I quit for her back in Norway paying roughly three times my current salary here. (They won't re-hire me, I've been replaced).

In the name of creativity I could also send the USCIS a few sex tapes if needed. I can prove to great lengths that we were a real, legitimate couple for a long time, but after I got here, things really have gone down the drain. And that is the big red flag here, should we separate and I decide to stay and ROC.

I know I have mostly "secondary evidence." We're young. We don't have life insurance policies etc yet, joint credit cards, joint names on all bills except the cell phone. We've lived together before, at her family's house and at my family's house, and by ourselves. But our bills have always just been paid by one, and the other gave cash, or we just evenly distributed the bills.

Edited March 1, 2013 by Jay Jay

[jaycali 415]

Sorry guys, I realize this was a long one. It's my first update on this in a couple of months.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Be honest with them. More couples than will ever admit here don't remain faithfull for the entire length of this terrible immigration process and many can't survive the aftermath when the truth comes out.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

What I can prove is the following:

- I have a ton of pictures of vacations we've taken in different states and countries, as well as pictures of our relationship spanning over 3 years, many with family.

- I have receipts for plane tickets and a hotel in Greece with her and my family from August.

- Receipt for the cruise showing her name, my name and her grandmother's name. Pictures from Portugal, London, Iceland, New York, California, Hawaii, Alaska, cruise to Canada with her grandmother.

- I could get affidavits from her parents and her brother.

- From our old boss that we were a real couple (we worked for the same company when I was on OPT).

- We're still on good terms, although it feels superficial to me, but she'd likely be willing to write an affidavit as well. Hopefully she'd be willing to admit in it that she had an affair. (while fine if she does, it isn't really relevant).

As far as co-mingling of assets etc.

- we have had a joint bank account for almost a year now, The joint account is my primary account, I haven't switched because I get airline miles (I'm big on those), she still has the card for that account and uses it once in a while.

- We have a family cell phone plan.

- I'm not listed on the apartment lease (she signed it with our roommate a couple months before I moved here),

- I've been paying the cable bill (it's in my name).

- We really just divide the bills between us. She'll pay the rent one month, and I'll pay the cell phone, electricity and car etc. Or vice versa.

- I can also show that I got an official USPS address change here, and that I reported this address as my home address when I reported my move to my country's gov't.

- I can also show my bank statements, social security card, pay checks etc coming to this address.

- Our roommate would probably be willing to attest to the fact that I live here as well.

- Our car doesn't have my name on it either, but I can prove that I've made payments on it

- I'm also listed as a driver of that car on our joint car insurance.

- I am listed as beneficiary on her medical insurance,

- we filed taxes as married last year and filing married this year. Her aunt does our taxes, and I could probably get an affidavit from her aunt too.

I could probably get an affidavit from an ex USC girlfriend I dated for 2 years a long time ago that she wanted to get married, but that I never popped the question.. If that would help. It most certainly would NOT be good!

We don't have life insurance policies etc yet, joint credit cards, joint names on all bills except the cell phone. We've lived together before, at her family's house and at my family's house, and by ourselves. But our bills have always just been paid by one, and the other gave cash, or we just evenly distributed the bills.

I've made your "list" above which is actually quite substantial. Also notes in red and a bolding or two.

You should be fine to file the waiver. You'll need to actually get copies of all this evidence of course.

[jaycali 415]

I've made your "list" above which is actually quite substantial. Also notes in red and a bolding or two. You should be fine to file the waiver. You'll need to actually get copies of all this evidence of course.

Thanks Vanessa, that does look a lot more organized than the rant I had.

As far as "logic" in the timeline. Do they look at stuff like getting married in the US, but never filing AOS? Or the fact that we didn't decide to even file the I-130 until a year after our wedding? Or that I entered right before the 2 year mark, when I could have "easily" waited for an IR-1?

- We're still on good terms, although it feels superficial to me, but she'd likely be willing to write an affidavit as well. Hopefully she'd be willing to admit in it that she had an affair. (while fine if she does, it isn't really relevant).

OK, so all they're really looking for as far as an affidavit goes is that my wife agrees that it was a good faith marriage?

Edited March 1, 2013 by Jay Jay

[jaycali 415]

Be honest with them. More couples than will ever admit here don't remain faithfull for the entire length of this terrible immigration process and many can't survive the aftermath when the truth comes out.

Thanks. If cheating was the only issue we'd survive it. But cheating isn't the only issue. The issue is trust. I've been trying my best to trust her - But you can't force yourself to trust someone. While I still trust her intentions, I just don't trust her judgement what so ever right now. Maybe I was a bad judge of character.

Edited March 1, 2013 by Jay Jay

[Villanelle 4,123]

Ill admit I didnt read your post in its entirety because there really is no need to. I kinda skimmed through it. I believe youve read too many posts about people having difficult AOS interviews where they had to prove they entered the marriage in good faith and were subject to intense scrutiny during the interview.

Youre going to be filing for ROC with a waiver. Its a completely different beast. Theres a chance that you could be called in for an interview, but the fact is- you were already granted the GC on the basis of having a legitimate marriage. Youre simply re-proving it, not proving it from scratch. Its different. You have a basis to build from.

The first thing they are going to look at is the divorce decree. You want to make sure the divorce decree does not have the word fraud in it and if it does its not fraud on your part. You also need to make sure its a divorce and not an annulment. An annulment means the marriage never happened. No marriage means no basis for benefits. (if your spouse is Catholic she may want an annulement so she can marry again in church)

The divorce decree is going to show you did have assets and they were divided or that you didnt have any. It will state the parties resided together at X address for X amount of time.

So the divorce is going to be your 'primary' evidence for proof of address/cohabitation and co-mingling of finances and anything else you submit will be secondary.

Theyre going to want to see your tax returns in addition to the divorce decree. You said you filed jointly so theres no issue there.

You can send in as much secondary evidence as you want. The more you send in, the better your chances are they will code your file as sufficient and you will not be selected for an interview. Remember, you were already deemed 'legitimate relationship', youre simply re-verifying it. (Youre unfortunately a relationship that didnt work out and Im very sorry)

Do not mention that you couldve adjusted through another USC. Do not mention that you couldve waited to enter the US a few months and then broken up with your wife and not have had to go through ROC. (that seems like intent) Do not mention your woe is me sob story in your ROC packet. (I gave up a good job to be with my wife and she broke my heart, here are my old pay stubs and dog I left behind etc) There is no room for emotions in the USCIS. If you do have an interview you can plead your case there in person.

Then when you say to the person, I cant believe this happened to me- I had a job, I had a home, look- this was my paystubs, this was my life, I fell in love with this woman, gave it all up, came to the US and it fell apart. But Im here now. Im staying, Im moving forward, I have a new job lined up in CA or where ever, you have things to show them youre telling the truth. Some Officers will want to see proof of everything you say, some dont. You have to be prepared either way.

But thats interview 'sob story' cr*p and not basic ROC approval material.

I would suggest filing the ROC if you can afford it because you have nothing to lose except the fees if you truly want to remain in the US.

I believe you will be approved.

(also sending a sex tape- oh my. They will under no circumstances play any media files due to security concerns, and sending pictures instead is...mmm lets say distasteful and can call your moral character into question. A huge part of ROC is your statement that you entered the marriage in good faith and youre a truthful person. A person with low or questionable morals standards is unlikely to make truthful statements)

[bigdog 377]

Take your original proof add to it with the divorce information etc. and enjoy the interview. Good Luck.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As far as "logic" in the timeline. Do they look at stuff like getting married in the US, but never filing AOS? Or the fact that we didn't decide to even file the I-130 until a year after our wedding? Or that I entered right before the 2 year mark, when I could have "easily" waited for an IR-1?

Nope. You're looking at it in a good light. USCIS could see you not filing as "wife shopping" or that you were deliberately waiting to get the 10 year card, or that you hadn't convinced her to file for you yet. The 2 year mark could easily be because you didn't know, not that you did it on purpose. Could also be that you knew your marriage was ending and needed to get in ASAP to make sure she didn't tell them your relationship was over and to cancel the visa.

Not saying any of that is true, it's just you're looking at it in a good light, all that stuff. Just prove your relationship. There is no need to prove anything else but that.

OK, so all they're really looking for as far as an affidavit goes is that my wife agrees that it was a good faith marriage?

Basically. Even then she doesn't *need* to do one at all. Plenty of people are approved without them.

[jaycali 415]

Ill admit I didnt read your post in its entirety because there really is no need to. I kinda skimmed through it. I believe youve read too many posts about people having difficult AOS interviews where they had to prove they entered the marriage in good faith and were subject to intense scrutiny during the interview.Youre going to be filing for ROC with a waiver. Its a completely different beast. Theres a chance that you could be called in for an interview, but the fact is- you were already granted the GC on the basis of having a legitimate marriage. Youre simply re-proving it, not proving it from scratch. Its different. You have a basis to build from.The first thing they are going to look at is the divorce decree. You want to make sure the divorce decree does not have the word fraud in it and if it does its not fraud on your part. You also need to make sure its a divorce and not an annulment. An annulment means the marriage never happened. No marriage means no basis for benefits. (if your spouse is Catholic she may want an annulement so she can marry again in church)The divorce decree is going to show you did have assets and they were divided or that you didnt have any. It will state the parties resided together at X address for X amount of time. So the divorce is going to be your 'primary' evidence for proof of address/cohabitation and co-mingling of finances and anything else you submit will be secondary. Theyre going to want to see your tax returns in addition to the divorce decree. You said you filed jointly so theres no issue there. You can send in as much secondary evidence as you want. The more you send in, the better your chances are they will code your file as sufficient and you will not be selected for an interview. Remember, you were already deemed 'legitimate relationship', youre simply re-verifying it. (Youre unfortunately a relationship that didnt work out and Im very sorry)Do not mention that you couldve adjusted through another USC. Do not mention that you couldve waited to enter the US a few months and then broken up with your wife and not have had to go through ROC. (that seems like intent) Do not mention your woe is me sob story in your ROC packet. (I gave up a good job to be with my wife and she broke my heart, here are my old pay stubs and dog I left behind etc) There is no room for emotions in the USCIS. If you do have an interview you can plead your case there in person. Then when you say to the person, I cant believe this happened to me- I had a job, I had a home, look- this was my paystubs, this was my life, I fell in love with this woman, gave it all up, came to the US and it fell apart. But Im here now. Im staying, Im moving forward, I have a new job lined up in CA or where ever, you have things to show them youre telling the truth. Some Officers will want to see proof of everything you say, some dont. You have to be prepared either way. But thats interview 'sob story' cr*p and not basic ROC approval material.I would suggest filing the ROC if you can afford it because you have nothing to lose except the fees if you truly want to remain in the US. I believe you will be approved.(also sending a sex tape- oh my. They will under no circumstances play any media files due to security concerns, and sending pictures instead is...mmm lets say distasteful and can call your moral character into question. A huge part of ROC is your statement that you entered the marriage in good faith and youre a truthful person. A person with low or questionable morals standards is unlikely to make truthful statements)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. This was very thorough and well explained, both logically and legally.

Nope. You're looking at it in a good light. USCIS could see you not filing as "wife shopping" or that you were deliberately waiting to get the 10 year card, or that you hadn't convinced her to file for you yet. The 2 year mark could easily be because you didn't know, not that you did it on purpose. Could also be that you knew your marriage was ending and needed to get in ASAP to make sure she didn't tell them your relationship was over and to cancel the visa.Not saying any of that is true, it's just you're looking at it in a good light, all that stuff. Just prove your relationship. There is no need to prove anything else but that.

Hadn't thought of it that way - Thanks for laying it out.

Basically. Even then she doesn't *need* to do one at all. Plenty of people are approved without them.

Understood. Mahalo.

Edited March 3, 2013 by Jay Jay