SO CALLED RED FLAGS Im worried about

[Villanelle 4,121]

I dont know, I guess its just me but I am seeing all the red flags shes concerned about.

The part thats concerning is (and maybe its just because she wasnt very clear about it) but the way it reads is- When he came there, they were 'just friends'. Am I correct in interpreting that their meeting that qualifies them for the visa was a 'friendly meeting' in April 2012? That since then, they have been speaking online/phone/through email, but havent gotten together in person again since- yet have decided to get married?

Compound that with the fact that the meeting was arranged by her uncle and the fiance is 27 years older then her and yeah... red flags.

If Im the CO Im going to want to know why they havent gotten together again since April of 2012. Thats 9 months. Especially since the first time they met they werent even an item.

It would mean she has no pictures of them together as a couple. The only evidence shes going to have is emails/chat logs and phone records and her statement that she truly loves him and is not marrying him to gain benefits or entry to the US.

The fact that hes an older co-worker of her uncle, makes the situation very suspicious. It can seem as if the point of the uncle introducing her to him was to have him bring her over to the US.

If Im misinterpreting this and there have been subsequent visits then great. OP you have nothing to worry about. Bring pictures of the two of you together. It doesnt matter who introduced you then. It doesnt matter that hes older then. It wouldnt matter that the first time you met it was just friendly and at your uncles suggestion. The point is you met at your uncles suggestion- there was a spark. So you met again. You continued your affair long distance. Theres a proposal. Papers are filed. And here you are.

[RobBell 32]

We also have some red flags, age difference being one of them.

First of all stop worrying.

If you ask these types of questions it just going to cause you more worry. Its possible it may not even come up in the interview and if it does just be prepared to answer honestly and from the heart. Have faith that they will see the truth in your words. If you are convinced of the relationship then have faith that it will work out.

Most importantly focus on the things that you can control. Figure out all the documentation you need, collect the evidence for the relationship, get to know each other so well that you can answer any question that might be asked. Those things you can control and focusing on them will make you feel more confident.

Also focus on all the good things about your relationship, enjoy it, be happy. Things will work out for you if you focus on the right things. Also pay no mind to others opinions of your relationship, they don't know what your relationship is like and what it means to you.

Stay positive, get excited for the future, be happy!

[forgottenlady 2]

Hi Capri, I had feelings for him before he came here.... we have been talking for a month before the meeting...I knew its mutual....we were just scared to expect more than friends without meeting...I knew he came here to see the chances... he didnt know I am only waiting for him..its different when you see a person and spend time together.

I Got a lot of pics of us trom day 1 where the attachment and feeling's development is obvious..day 1 and day 9 shows different picture. Which I think would give a weight on our story that love grows as day passed by.

It can be written as a love story as I am going back to the first time I saw him on skype to the day Im holding him while saying I love you.

BEST THINGS SOMETIMES COME UNEXPECTEDLY

I will start worrying about it. I will go to Embassy and Share my love story.

Thanks

[forgottenlady 2]

To Rob and Lilly, thank you! I dont know why Im giving myself a hard time worrying too much. I GUESS it is a form of defense mechanism...so I can think of all the possible rebuttal...if incase these questions arise.

You will be my inspiration and encouragement to face this interview with grace and confidence.

Til then

[Thermite 3]

It has been said on here couple times that meeting through an aunt uncle etc could be a red flag I was in same situation I meet my fiancee through her aunt sometimes they think its an arrange marriage. This was the biggest reason I went to the interview with her so if you are really worried about it then have your fiance go to interview with you it will help you case a lot. They asked how you meet I said through her aunt they asked oh how long you know her and how and I said over 8 years and through work and it was it. The age gap should not be a problem at all.

The process is rough just breath and relax and like i said if he goes to interview it helps you case a lot though he is not required to go but it is a good experience

[EminTX 131]

I think that most red-flag issues seem to be addressed at the interviews. If your case is suspicious, be prepared with quality and varieties of evidence. 30000000 pages of printed chat is not a good example.

Write a few letters, send a few post cards, send birthday and Valentine cards--things that lovers really do in the real world to put in your evidence notebook. Gather about 10 photos of y'all with other people. If any of those specific folks speak English and can write an affidavit, get it while you easily can. (We were RFE'd for this.) When my now-husband went for his interview, he had some gum and candies and other items in the pocket of the notebook that obviously came from the US as a little phycological/subliminal hint. I had also made a map of his country (or city) with small photos of us in various places with lines pointing to those places on the map that was in the back of the notebook (facing up when he went to the interview window and clearly visible to that interviewer--it wasn't submitted, but it WAS clearly and easily visible), and read the reviews for the past several years on this site for the interviews to see what was actually looked at and taken as evidence (we had zero chat evidence and one of our lovey-dovey things was looked at). The people who have been to your embassy can give you the best information of all. If you can look at the packet that someone else has gotten, it can help you to gather everything together.

There is no way not to be paranoid throughout this process. The very nature of the delays and uncertainty make it very stressful and lonely. Expect that. Stay as busy as possible and get as prepared as possible while waiting.

The thing about "red flags" is that they simply alert to possbile problems/scams--they don't confirm it. If you are prepared to with evidence that each of your "red flags" is unfounded or not at all true in your case, it souldn't be a problem.

[forgottenlady 2]

Thank you EminTX and Thermite. Unfortunately, he cant bw there on my interview. But He is planning to go here March 19. He is about to book flights on Monday...even wants to book me a onw way flight even without the visa yet, which I told him not to do yet. He is so positive throughout the process. Which I know I have too... Anyway all of your feedback and tips are greatly appreciated.

Til then

[EminTX 131]

All the interview evidence that you can gather and make happen during this visit will make it so much easier as the interview draws nearer.

Examples: Save ATM receipts, tickets that have your names on them, hotel receipts, anything from a third party that would not care to help you cheat the system whatsoever. Take photos with other people in them. Take pix at church, with family, with friends. If anyone can write affidavits for you in English, get a photo of the two of you with that person. (It just reinforces that this person is real.) Some folks take a photo together holding up a newspaper with the date clearly visible in front of a notable landmark. This can't hurt. If you fly anywhere together, save those receipts and have him give you his boarding pass and luggage stubbs to take as evidence of the visit, too. Any documents that you can have hand delivered is much more secure so make sure taxes are done for 2012 already and that can be safely and securly be in the interviewee's possession.

It would have saved us a WORLD of frustration if we had known to do this as we were having all our fun. It is a pain to try to figure out what is what and to kick yourself for tossing things like those boarding passes.

Read through some RFE threads here and see what people have been asked to provide--gather that together in case you do get RFE'd so you don't have to waste time trying to gather that when you could just send it right on in. If you don't need any of this stuff, you will at least feel more prepared as the time draws nearer. Good luck!