Second Wedding for Her Family

[James and Cynthia 70]

It's now been about 1 1/2 years since my K1 fiance and I got married. Next year in June, we are going back to the Philippines to marry again. This will be our big wedding, for her and her family, since the one we had here in the US was very simple using a judge.

My question is: What do we need to do to have a second wedding? Is it the same as a normal wedding with a waiting period and all that? Can we have it done with only a 14 day trip? We would like to leave the US on June 15th, and have the wedding on June 25th (our anniversary date). What can we do from here in the US to prepare with the paper work? Anything? Her family will also help us prepare whatever is needed.

Thanks,

James

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You can't get legally married again so you basically just have to plan the party/ceremony. As it won't be legal (you're already legally married) there shouldn't be any paperwork needed, except whatever her church may require.

[James and Cynthia 70]

You can't get legally married again so you basically just have to plan the party/ceremony. As it won't be legal (you're already legally married) there shouldn't be any paperwork needed, except whatever her church may require.

That's great news. Thanks.

[Hank_ 9,173]

You will only be re-newing vows.

Now if you are wanting to get married in a catholic church you are in for some surprises... errrr demands by the church.... errr requests.... errr requirements.

[CJ8611 6]

It actually depends on what kind of "wedding" you have in mind. If it's some sort of renewal of vows then a wedding reception afterwards, 14 days is enough. But if you are considering a church wedding, you will need more time as there are several church requirements. Good luck!

Edited December 14, 2012 by CJ8611

[revtech100 16]

We're going to do the same. What are the church requirements? Anyone know?

[Bumbero 130]

We're going to do the same. What are the church requirements? Anyone know?

My fiancee and I are going to have a ceremony in her hometown for her family and friends before coming to the US for the official marriage, which will be a civil ceremony.

The Catholic Church can be difficult to work with. I was married originally in a Catholic Church and was divorced 7 years later with no annulment. We can't even have the ceremony in the church because according to Catholic Religion I'm still married. So, we have to have the event at her Uncle's house.

The Priest may also ask you to meet with him once or twice to discuss the marriage and your relationship. If you are not Catholic, you might run in to problems there as well. The Priest can refuse to marry you based on that fact alone.

[CJ8611 6]

We're going to do the same. What are the church requirements? Anyone know?

Assuming you are going to get married in the Catholic Church, here's a link to what are the general requirements: http://www.weddingsa...g-requirements/

The requirements may also vary depending on your situation, i.e. divorced before, different religion. Some churches may require additional documents, some churches may be very strict, some may not be so strict.

Edited December 14, 2012 by CJ8611

[Joshuaching 11]

We're going to do the same. What are the church requirements? Anyone know?

The Catholic church in the Philippines is very strict about grooms or brides having been married before. If this is the first time for any of you to be married in a Catholic Church, then there may not be any problem at all. The Catholic church believes in only one catholic wedding/marriage. If you have been divorced from a previous wife and you had a church wedding, chances are that you won't be able to marry in a Catholic church in the Philippines.

Now, of course there have been people who were able to do this in a catholic church in this sort of situation. Some Catholic priests are known to accept "bribes" for the good of the church (financially). Perhaps you could find one in her locality.

I tried, but couldn't find one who'd bend the rules for me, as my first marriage was in a catholic church. YOU COULD, OF COURSE LIE, but I didn't want to do that.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Married - re-new vows!

(had to fix my posting)

[Caryh 5,206]

You can only re-new vows in the Catholic Church if you were already married in the Catholic Church. If it was a civil ceremony or in any other church, they consider it a first wedding and require everything a first wedding requires. Its best if she can get a family member to engage the priest and make sure you have all his requirements written down before even leaving for there.

You will only be re-newing vows.

Now if you are wanting to get married in a catholic church you are in for some surprises... errrr demands by the church.... errr requests.... errr requirements.

[Hank_ 9,173]

The catholic church may consider it a first marriage but the legal system does not and that was my reference... it only a renewal of vows.

I personally would rent a nice hall, re-new the vows for family and friends ... then have a party. Don't need a priest/minister for this at all.... more rules than NASCAR.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Do not sign anything official that will filed with the Philippines government. Sign only documents kept for church records only. You are already legally married, so you do not want to legally get marry a second time.

Explain to the priest that for US immigration purposes, you had 90 days to get marry in the US after she arrived on the K-1 visa. 90 days is not enough time for a proper Catholic church wedding in the US. Catholic churches in the US requires 9 months of counseling before a couple can get marry (I haven't heard of one that doesn't require this). This is why you need a proper Catholic church wedding because you couldn'tget one in the US. Furthermore, you can't have any legal paperwork outside the church because it may affect her green card (Not entirely the truth, but not a lie. It MAY affect her, but it probably wouldn't. Do what you need to do to grease the wheels.)

[raf.luv.leah 5]

90 days is not enough time for a proper Catholic church wedding in the US. Catholic churches in the US requires 9 months of counseling before a couple can get marry (I haven't heard of one that doesn't require this).

Is this true??? My fiance wants to get married in a Catholic church in the US. We talked to the priest and the church already and they don't seem to show any signs of it not being possible!

[aaron2020 11,651]

Is this true??? My fiance wants to get married in a Catholic church in the US. We talked to the priest and the church already and they don't seem to show any signs of it not being possible!

The Church may be granting you an exception to the rule because of the K-1 requirement to marry within 90 days.

My family has had many weddings in California. The Catholic church here require the couple to go through 9 months of counseling before marriage. The San Diego Diocese calls it the Pre-Cana Marriage Preparation Program. Every member of my family who had a Catholic church wedding in San Diego has had to go through the program in order to get marry in the church.

Here is the link for the San Diego Diocese; http://www.diocese-sdiego.org/marriageprep.aspx

http://www.diocese-sdiego.org/Handbook/Handbook_PDFs/Marriage1.pdf

Diocese of San Diego

GUIDELINES FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION

The very preparation for Christian marriage is itself a journey of faith. It is a special

opportunity for the engaged to rediscover and deepen the faith received in baptism and

nourished by their Christian upbringing. In this way they come to recognize and freely accept

their vocation to follow Christ and to serve the kingdom of God in the married state.

Familiaris Consortio, John Paul II, 1981, n. 51.

PERIOD OF PREPARATION

Length of Preparation Period

Engaged couples who will be married within the Diocese of San Diego, or who wish to complete

their preparation for marriage in the diocese, should contact their local priest or deacon

approximately nine months before their intended wedding date. Exceptions may be granted only

for a serious reason. It is recommended that couples should be encouraged to start their marriage

preparation even before setting a wedding date.

The formal preparation should be completed two months before the marriage ceremony.

Edited December 14, 2012 by aaron2020