Divorce, Taxes, & Engagement Concerns

[InCalifornia 0]

Hello everyone. I have been reading about the K1 process here for a few months trying to prepare for filing in the next months. The process seems so anxiety producing, but when I read the all the success stories I get more hopeful... then my anxiety kicks in again, lol.

I am from California. I met my fiance online, he is from Germany. We have been together since 2008 and finally we will be meeting in person for the very first time after so many years of being together and being only online this December 2012. He will then be coming back again in March 2013 at which time I hope to be ready to file for K1 in April or May. We had to wait so many years to meet in person because I had to finish college, then nursing school, and finally a few months ago I got a good paying job, so now we can afford to move forward. I have a few concerns however that I hope I can get advice on:

While he and I have been together, I have still been legally married (but were separated- although not "legally separated" because we didn't have money for this as it costs money to file for legal separation). My legal husband and I could not afford before to file for divorce. We are hoping to be able to file for it finally next month in November at the latest. Because we are still legally married, we file taxes separately, but the tax papers still have our status as "married". When we file in 2013 for our 2012 taxes, because it takes 6 months in C.A. for divorces to finalize, we will still be filing separately, but the status will still have to show "married". So one of my concerns is when we do all of our paper work, and my fiance shows my tax returns for 2012, they will say "married", even when he will by that time have my divorce papers to show I am legally able to marry. Will this be bad? I am not sure how they will see this or if it will be some reason to get denied or get an RFE. I was thinking I could just send W-2s and pay stubs without sending my 2012 taxes because of this, but I am not sure that would be the right (or smart) thing to do. Also not sure if I am required to send my 2012 taxes and just sending my W-2s and pay stubs would be good enough. (I have read in some places they do require tax returns while others say it is not necessary, so this is confusing).

My other concern is, proof of engagement. We decided several years ago that we wanted to get married. It wasn't a formal proposal, he didn't get on bended knee on Skype or send me a ring. We didn't need or want that. We talked about it, we both negotiated, we took our time and we both decided together. It was perfect for us. So how do we show proof of engagement when I don't want or need a ring, which seems to be the way to show proof of engagement? Also as far as I recall, this was all done over a few months on voice on Skype, so there are no actual text logs of these conversations.

I wish I had looked into this process when we had talked about getting married. Our LDR has been really long term, and sometimes it was very difficult but we got through all the rough patches. We took it day by day. Having to adjust schedules (we would go from being able to be on Skype for 5-6 hours a day, to sometimes only being able to meet online once a week especially when I was in nursing school and that was awful at the time!). Finishing college then nursing school had to be the priorities otherwise I could have not made it to this point where now finally financially we are able to move forward, so we never looked at the process. We sent each other care packages which had stamps and such, but threw away the packaging and such so we can't show this as evidence because we don't those things now. It's very stressful to think about- to wish that we had known before. He's even tried the visa lottery, but obviously hasn't gotten it. We thought about him coming on employment visa, student visa, all of those other options before we knew there were certain laws (had no clue was not legal to come on student or work visa and get married or that it could make things hard when applying for citizenship, or even that there were these procedures that had to be done), or even that fiance visa existed. Now this whole world of information, and possibility has opened up for us, but its so intimidating for us both. Just had no clue.

Thank goodness I have found this web site. I still have so much to learn, so much to do, and I am sure will have more questions to ask as he and I move along in this process.

Thank you for reading my (very) long first time post. Any advice would be deeply appreciated.

[elyhim 41]

You will need to be divorced before filing the K1 petition. You MUST have the court divorce decree otherwise you will be wasting time and money. That decree must have a date prior to the petition.

W2's, pay stubs and/or an employer letter is to show that you will be able to financially care for him without the immigrant becoming a drain on the US government.

Engagement, you sign a letter of intent. You don't necessarily need a ring or such but you need proof of relationship. Pictures together, boarding tickets, hotel receipts, tickets to things you did together, skype logs etc..

[Pitaya 2,580]

They are easily accessible at the "Guides" button, at the top of the forum page.

Be sure to review the visa requirements outlined in the petition instructions:

http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/i-129finstr.pdf

Good luck on your visa journey.

[baron555 934]

I have still been legally married

Then you are not ready to file since you now are not free to marry. Do not file since your petition will be denied and your fee money lost.

(but were separated- although not "legally separated" because we didn't have m

Not an excuse; you're still married.

Will this be bad?

Your petition WILL BE denied. Period.

I was thinking I could just send W-2s and pay stubs without sending my 2012 taxes because of this, but I am not sure that would be the right (or smart) thing to do. Also not sure if I am required to send my 2012 taxes and just sending my W-2s and pay stubs would be good enough.

NO you also need to send in a copy of the final certified divorce decree. Do Not file until you have this in hand.

My other concern is, proof of engagement.

No where do you need to show proof of engagement. For the K-1 petition you have to show your evidence of having met in person within the two year period just prior to the filing date of the K-1 documents. For the interview you have to submit proof of a legitimate relationship; many don't have formal engagement proof.

I wish I had looked into this process when we had talked about getting married.

You have two choices....end the relationship because of all the hassles or use all this to strengthen it and buck it up and do what you both need to do. Many have done just that and after they are together, all this is forgotten.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

It's apparent to me that the vast majority of people replying did NOT read your entire post with the comments about "needing to be divorce" even though you addressed this several times in the OP.

Being listed as "married" on your taxes is not a big deal. You filed "married filing separately" for years, I assume your addresses are different? Not a big deal, really. Lots of people have been in your situation. As long as, at the time of filing you are legally able to marry, then no problem.

Proof of engagement is just the "letter of intent". Examples are on here as well as other places on the internet Just says you're able and willing to marry.

Tax returns are not a requirement of the I-134, however some countries require them. For that reason I'd just get IRS transcripts. MUCH simpler. If your income on the return is too low, but you recently got a raise, or a new job or whatever, you can submit your paystubs and letter from employer to show your income is higher now.

It'll be fine

On a side note... long down the road, 3 years after being an LPR, your (then) husband is eligible for citizenship. It's important for him to know that Germany does not permit dual citizenship unless he has first applied for "Beibehaltungsgenehmigung" (shortened to BBG). Here's a VJ thread about it: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/241744-dual-americangerman-citizenship-beibehaltungsgenehmigung/ (post #13 is good). Though he may not want to become a USC, it's useful information in case he ever does and VERY important that he applies for BBG before filing for USC otherwise Germany will revoke his German citizenship.