Girlfriend

[Liam and Kara 6]

As most of the guys on here have said to you, this will not be able to be processed until or unless you have met in person. I know that is not what you want to hear, but thems the breaks kid...

What you are planning is a huge step and a real life changing moment, your still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you, could you honestly live in a country away from the help and support of your family?

even for us oldies it is a struggle to be in a new country ALL ALONE(even with your partner).

I would not for one minute say to you or belittle you by dismissing the idea but try keeping contact with your girlfriend and give it time to blossom and let life take whatever path it sends you on, if it is to be with your girlfriend then all the better, if not, then unfortunately thats life...

finish school, even look into a student visa, and go to school here, discuss with your parents the options as well as her parents, I know it may take you years to be in a position to be able to travel and get to the point of moving over to the USA to live, but be patient and see where it leads too.

Good luck to you both i know it is not easy.

[Heysofia 6]

It's not being judgemental - it is experience. I got married first at the age of 25 and can tell you now that I was way too immature to figure out what person I should really be looking for. Now maybe that's just me, but will simply tell you that people getting married at the age of 18 have no clue what they're doing.

No offence, but you have no right to judge people at a young age on what we do and say we're clueless. For my age actually I'm very mature, whilst most 18 year olds want to party and "YAY DRUNNKKK", I'd rather not because I know that's stupid. At my workplace I'm even assistant manager, and when my manager leaves on long breaks I manage. Maybe at 25 you were still not mature enough and married the wrong person, doesn't mean other people will. FYI, many couples these days get married in their early 20's and have long and happy marriages. My mother married at 23 and was married to my dad for 13years and my mother always states it would of been forever if it wasn't for their divorce(divorced for personal reasons). All my grandparents married young too and are all still together now as well. Not to mention nearly everyone I know got married in their early 20's.

So you can't judge because of age, I matured during my teenage years and even now most people who know me state that I'm very mature for my age. So don't judge 18 year olds.

Edited September 18, 2012 by Heysofia

[InHisTime 110]

Look i've thought of everything. She can't come study in my country as we have no big Universities and if i study in the US it costs alot of money which again i do not have. We made a deal we'll meet when we both make a bit of money and then we'll see what to do. Thanks for all the answers i appreciate it.

That's a good deal. Preparation is important to achieve success. VJ members gave you a very good advices based on realities of life. Glad that you listen and appreciate. It is for good of you and your girlfriend. God bless you and good luck !

[InHisTime 110]

No offence, but you have no right to judge people at a young age on what we do and say we're clueless. For my age actually I'm very mature, whilst most 18 year olds want to party and "YAY DRUNNKKK", I'd rather not because I know that's stupid. At my workplace I'm even assistant manager, and when my manager leaves on long breaks I manage. Maybe at 25 you were still not mature enough and married the wrong person, doesn't mean other people will. FYI, many couples these days get married in their early 20's and have long and happy marriages. My mother married at 23 and was married to my dad for 13years and my mother always states it would of been forever if it wasn't for their divorce(divorced for personal reasons). All my grandparents married young too and are all still together now as well. Not to mention nearly everyone I know got married in their early 20's.

So you can't judge because of age, I matured during my teenage years and even now most people who know me state that I'm very mature for my age. So don't judge 18 year olds.

I do agree with you. Age doesn't matter. There are young ones who are even better and mature than older people. But we cannot generalize this to everyone. Everyone differs, and based on realities of life and experiences, there are those who got married at very young age and no preparedness at all have failed in their marriages especially when they got wrong partners.

I think only small percentage of young ones who married early succeeded. I sense that you are mature and responsible enough. That is good and may God bless you more.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. As you can see there are those who got divorced even after 15, 20 or even 30 years of marriage. So for now we cannot really tell what the future holds for everyone. Life is uncertain. My advice, always continue to work out in your marriage, don't give up too soon if there obstacles. Overcome, be strong and stay positive always.

[Sceota Denum 1]

I'm going to give some relationship advice as well as some advice about this process.

First of all, if you put forth your best effort, almost anything can be achieved. You can make this work if you really want to be with this young woman and you both have an outstanding relationship. On the other hand, there are some issues you may have to consider, yet. For example, do you know how your relationship will change once you meet in person and have to assimilate to American culture? Online, you may have a great relationship, but in person, you may not get along at all, especially after living together for some time. There may be some serious cultural issues you have to deal with, eventually, some of them could make or break a relationship.

It's important to realize that we are not here to judge you; we're looking out for your best interest! It may sound judgmental when advice comes in the form of, "Wait a few years and try again after high school," but we really do respect you. The circumstances of your relationship will be criticized by immigration officers and those who process your case. Let me tell you, if you can't afford to make arrangements to meet now, they will most likely deny you for a K-1 visa under financial circumstances. My fiancee and I are pretty much fresh out of college and we were barely able to afford this process (by the way, she was approved today at her interview).

I honestly wish that travel was not so costly for your sake, but you're going to have to make an extra effort to wait and be in a long-distance relationship until you can afford to travel and meet each other. The most difficult part as a 17-year-old is that you have to make a huge life-changing decision now as young adults. Are you (plural) going to make personal sacrifices to make this relationship work out? How long are you honestly willing to wait? Are you willing to sacrifice a college education or postpone it to get financial means for this relationship?

I can relate to you so much on a personal level about this. My blessings and I hope you find the courage to find the answers to your questions.

[Que Saudade 284]

Forget the age issue. The money issue is a bigger hindrance. Still being in high school, I would bet to say that her yearly income is not that much. You need to consider the financial factors, and indeed if you are mature enough, they will make sense to you.

Travel expenses. You two have at the very least 2 trips to make. One for the meeting in person and the other when you come over. This can be in the neighborhood of a couple of thousand dollars.

Filing of application expenses. Jay-Kay did a nice job of explaining that one. I will just say one thing about affidavit of support, "Who is going to sponsor you?" You should research the affidavit of support (I-134 and I-864)

Now, comes the goodies...

Life expenses

Car payment, unless hers is paid off already then that leads to:

Car Insurance. Since you guys are now married, both of you have to be maintained on the insurance. Since you both are under 25, your premiums will be very high.

Gas

Health Insurance

Dental Insurance.

Rent, I doubt you can qualify for a mortgage yet with neither of you having any work/wage history. Depending on where you live, this can be from moderate to outrageous.

Electricity

Water

Gas

I'm sure you both want to have a better education. So consider, College tuition. Just another wonderful added expense. A very small liberal public university will set you back $7,000/person per year

Do you like TV? Be prepared for the cable bill. HD and premium channels just boost that cost right on up.

Want to use the computer.. Yep you got it, add another bill on here... Internet

Oh yeah, and FOOD...

Keep in mind that you can't work until you get your Employment Authorization which comes after you are married and file for adjustment of status.

So, never mind what age you are, let's have a real honest discussion about the ability to take care of your family.

It is increasingly difficult to make ends meet. Divorce rate is high, finances have been shown to be a leading factor (right up there with infidelity).

Divorce Statistics

Understand, I am not saying that you can't do it, I am saying it is difficult and you need to be as prepared as possible, or you are setting yourself up for heartache later. Take the time to realize all the angles of getting married. Have an honest discussion with yourself and your fiance about how you 2 will overcome all of these issues.

Then, go for it.

Best of luck...

[Ivy. 113]

The cost of this process was explained to you, so I will not go there. People are right, make sure you are both serious about it and discussing finances and how the two of you would support yourself is a part of that.

What I want to do is just add an idea. For the first time one of you flies to the other one, consider splitting the cost of the ticket. With both of you working and saving for one ticket, it will be achieved much easier and faster. If your parents allow the other person to stay at their place, the whole trip does not have to cost much more than the price of the ticket. I have been finding good tickets at skyscanner.com, but make sure you look around before you buy your ticket.

Best of luck to you.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Ivy.

[bigdog 376]

Take you time see how things go and good luck.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

The K-1 process alone costs close to $2000, then to cost to move here... if you can't afford to meet, you can't afford the K-1.

:thumbs:

Kids...

[Moomin 292]

OP, if you're still on VJ, keep hanging around for a wee bit, or don't forget your login info just yet - you'll appreciate it later down the road hopefully.

Wish for trip contributions for your birthdays/xmas from relatives, cut down on unnecessary expenses. Have your friends meet her and the other way around to make time fly by. Get second jobs. Walking someone's dog every day after school in the US and putting the money aside is basically a plane ticket after a year of doing so.