Just need some support here

[moondancer627 0]

As you know my husband got his EAD in May and Green Card in July.

He decided he did not want to stay and live here in Tucson becuause of the heat, so he went to Flagstaff until August.

We visited with each other several times, me going to Flagstaff, and him coming down here for weekends. I could handle that since he was in the same state at least.

He parked his RV in the yard mid August and left for Alberta to visit his Father until the end of October. I thought I could handle that too, since I know how much his father depends on him.

Now he tells me that he is not planning on coming back to Tucson until January because he is making more money in Canada then he could make here in Tucson.

This means he will not be here for our 1 year anniver. in November or any other the holidays. He hasn't made any effort to say, hey don't worry I will pay for your flight to visit me in alberta over the holidays. I checked into airline tickets and he is more obsessed with how much I have on credit cards, then me being with him,

He said I am sending you $ so you can pay off those credit card debts.

My problem is now that he has been away so much , my heart is breaking totally, I cry everyday thinking about this.

I don't want to file for divorce and we signed a Convanent Marriage License that makes it even hard to Divorce.

The license states that we can only file for divorce after a year of abandonment, which he does call.

The other problem is, I don't like being alone so I have one good friend who is way older than me, but we have been spending lots of time together since we have a lot in common.

Anton has no problem with the fact that have a close friendship with this guy. He just tells me tell "Randy" thanks for taking care of you and keeping you happy while I am gone.

This is tearing me apart emotionally,

Thanks for listening VJ Friends...

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm very sorry for your situation. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you're feeling. Is there any chance you could move up to be with him in Canada? I hope you can work out some solution. I hope he knows how much you love him and that the separation is tearing your relationship apart. Hang on to hope.

[Carol&Marc 0]

His actions speak volumes! hang in there.

[jamrok 0]

His actions speak volumes! hang in there.

So very sorry to hear this.....this must be awful and i think he is so insensitive. I really do feel your pain

[Welshcookie 17]

omg....I feel really bad for you This separation is doing your marriage no good at all......

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I'm *so* sorry for what you're going through...we're always here to listen. Hang in there... (F) M.

[Mags 112]

I'm sorry hon. Separation is bad enough whilst waiting FOR the visa to come through...even worse when you have been though all of that and are THEN separated again.

Just going to ask you something though (if you don't mind)...does he know how much you miss him? Have you told him EXACTLY how you feel? Because if you haven't he may not actually realise it is as bad as it is.

You'd be amazed how many people think that the other person in the relationship knows how the other is feeling...but doesn't.

If you haven't had a full and frank chat I'd recommend it. Might work wonders, y'never know.

Edited October 14, 2006 by mags

[JenT 0]

Have a discussion with him about priorities, Moondancer. There has to be some compromise that will make you both happy... The lack of intimacy you have between you right now is very unhealthy.

We're always here to listen.

Jen

[aussiewench 9]

Oh gosh darlin', I can just imagine how you are feeling *hugs* You guys really do need to talk and you need to tell him how you are honestly feeling. Sometimes this can be hard, depending on personalities and the relationship, but you really do need to express your feelings more. I have to learn the same thing.

[Ta Ta 1]

So sorry , you are in my prayers....