Deceitful wife and VAWA

[merkin&regine 18]

I was recently married to a foreigner. Who did not tell me she was here in America illegally. I married her and soon after I was told. All she ever spoke about is me filing for her. She was cold and callous towards me. I never felt loved after the marriage. Soon after she demanded the Green Card. She told me if I wouldnt do it, she'd ruin my life. Soon after she called the police on me after an argument. I was not arrested .Soon after I was hit with a restraining order, and I can't go back to my home, nor get my clothes due to her never being home. She made it seem as if I had been abusing her. Which is not true. She even spoofed a load of messages to her phone as if it was me that sent those messages. What should I do ?

This is really Bad... I know this is a 1 in a million situation but I am with you bro.. I pray that you get justice. Hate users....... grrrrrrrrrrr

[J&N* 68]

Sorry, why is everyone assuming that the OP did nothing to deserve getting the restraining order? I don't think the police give that to anyone, if they did, I'd get everyone I don't like one and be happy for life.

[JohnandWendyB 21]

These cases of marriage for puropses other then genuine love, all have a common pattern.

1. Behavior ranges from indifferent to malicious toward the USC.

2. Arguments that erupt over little issues.

3. Frivolous calls to law enforcement for intervention and documentations.

4. Restraining Order (RO) used as the surprise knock-out punch to the USC.

Get it on record with ICE that you suspect fraud.

By all means obey the RO, but I don't suppose anything (check your copy of the terms of the RO)

prevents you from having a friend enter your home (I could be wrong) with your permission (when she's away) to gather

your clothes, while you remain the legal distance from your home.

You'll only get one crack at the bat, so get your important papers and anything else important to you then.

Based on your post, sounds like she had a plan and just needed marriage to complete and execute that plan.

Most restraining orders prohibit third party contact. He should not have anyone go to the house or she could claim that was third party contact.

[JohnandWendyB 21]

Sorry, why is everyone assuming that the OP did nothing to deserve getting the restraining order? I don't think the police give that to anyone, if they did, I'd get everyone I don't like one and be happy for life.

In some states the preliminary stage of getting a restraining order is fairly simple requiring no real evidence-just someone filing a petition with claims made. If he does not defend himself in court it will be automatically granted and she would not have to provide any real evidence then either. Every state is a little different but for work-related purposes I have had experience in 2 states with this topic and know of the general trend across the US.

[JohnandWendyB 21]

You being a single parent, means your children are also out of the house, is that correct?

For the sake of your kids, consider putting the 'Mr. nice guy' approach to this away and put

your 'game face' on and fight fire-with-fire. Your kids do not deserve to have this woman come

into their lives and turn their world upside-down with this drama.

If one restraining order is good, then two RO's are better. File for an RO and that will give you

the opportunity to stand before a judge to explain that you are the home owner and a single parent

and the RO she placed on you has impacted your kids.

Maybe that judge will rescind the first RO, since you can't afford a lawyer, throw a RO against the wall and see if it sticks.

Without money for a lawyer or legal aid help, your options are kind of limited.

He would have had a chance to defend himself against her restraining order. Judges do not just grant a restraining order without giving the other party a chance to speak their side of things. Filing a restraining order in retaliation is not a good move either. Unless he can prove he is in fear for his life and physical well-being it will be seen as a retaliatory move. You don't need a lawyer in some states to defend yourself against this. Sometimes you can call the bar association or similar and at least get a consultation based on an agreed upon fee. Some states even have pro-se clinics where you can get assistance to represent yourself in court.

[JohnandWendyB 21]

I was recently married to a foreigner. Who did not tell me she was here in America illegally. I married her and soon after I was told. All she ever spoke about is me filing for her. She was cold and callous towards me. I never felt loved after the marriage. Soon after she demanded the Green Card. She told me if I wouldnt do it, she'd ruin my life. Soon after she called the police on me after an argument. I was not arrested .Soon after I was hit with a restraining order, and I can't go back to my home, nor get my clothes due to her never being home. She made it seem as if I had been abusing her. Which is not true. She even spoofed a load of messages to her phone as if it was me that sent those messages. What should I do ?

You could subpeona phone records that would show where those messages came from. I do not know what you mean by "spoofed". I am assuming this is some sort of app like Tiger text that you can alter things. You should still be able to trace how the messages got there. You need to try to calm down and think. If you are truly innocent this should not be hard to prove your innocence. If you really did send those messages, you better think about how to explain that. Chances are she can get an attorney and it would not be hard to prove you did if you did in fact send them.

[usedabused 3]

He said he cant get a lawyer because he cant afford it and cant get legal aid because of the RO against him.

Couldn't he get help from some other type of organization though that could provide a lawyer?

Actually I can't get any legal aide with a RO against me.

She had a friend who claimed her husband abused her.

So perhaps her friend schooled her on what she needs to do.

In the RO she stated every argument

we had she made a police report. She'####### me twice before, and I never bothered to call the police

She was building momentum for the RO.

[usedabused 3]

He would have had a chance to defend himself against her restraining order. Judges do not just grant a restraining order without giving the other party a chance to speak their side of things. Filing a restraining order in retaliation is not a good move either. Unless he can prove he is in fear for his life and physical well-being it will be seen as a retaliatory move. You don't need a lawyer in some states to defend yourself against this. Sometimes you can call the bar association or similar and at least get a consultation based on an agreed upon fee. Some states even have pro-se clinics where you can get assistance to represent yourself in court.

In this state TRO's are ex parte thus ranted to any woman who complains about her life being in danger.

In my state I am not qualified for legal aide because of this TRO

[usedabused 3]

if she has no physical/polie/medical other evidence, she'll have a hard time proving any abuse unless she inflicts it upon herself.

how did she "load messages to yiur phone? how will she be able to ruin your life? if she makes accusations without proof, she can't. good thing there's a restraining order because you will have a reason to stay away and she won't be able to lie about any abuse.

if you have family or friends, ask them to help you. every time she calls record it document/video record her lies and then call the police.

This woman is very crafty. She would argue with me on the phone and then hang up. Then I would text her in anger. She made sure to keep text from before we were married. I always wondered why she only kept my text messages. She also added certain spoof textes. I admit I did call her out of her name in text out of anger and being provoked. She may attempt to use that as abuse. She would also disapear for days. I trying tould text her angry to know where she is, and why she hasnt called me.

[timelord23 0]

This is just my opinion, and take on your situation.I am not a lawyer. I hope I am of some help to you.

The first thing you should do is go to the police department of the town you live/lived in. It might be necessary to go to a county officer like Sheriffs Dept. Ask to speak to the duty sergeant. Tell him your situation as regards to her not being home to get your things.Request a mutual time period that a patrol officer can meet at your home, with her there, and be there while you collect your things. The police usually contact the other person. In NJ, this is routine where restraining orders are in effect. It may be different in your state. Usually, the police MUST go along to insure no trouble starts. Usually, a TRO (temporary restraining order) is issued with a scheduled appearance in FAMILY COURT of the county to modify,uphold, or remove the TRO. It can become a permanant Restraining Order this way. If the police did not arrest you, as they MUST if they see signs of injury upon the complainant, then most like your Restraining order will end once the trip to court occurs. Police usually do not provide their Incident reports to the public. However, attempt to get some type of report showing its disposition (even from the court) to show USCIS as proof.

Next up, as other have stated in this Forum, contact USCIS and advise them of a fraud occuring from your wife. If she is in the country illegally, as you have said, I do not see a problem. US Gov will not approve her unless YOU further stick out your neck helping her after all this. Even then US Gov would deny her.

Hey..love is a crazy thing sometimes, but do not fall under her love spell again. I have seen a woman sit infront of a door waiting for someone to enter. When they did she got a black eye from the doorknob. She took a photo, and went straight to the police claiming domestic violence.

SO stay away from her. Shes threatning you because she KNOWS she will get deported. Its a bully trying to force you out of fear.Once you advise USCIS of illegal entry, they usually start deportation proceeding after investigation. Then ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement) will get her. Hope this helps!

I was recently married to a foreigner. Who did not tell me she was here in America illegally. I married her and soon after I was told. All she ever spoke about is me filing for her. She was cold and callous towards me. I never felt loved after the marriage. Soon after she demanded the Green Card. She told me if I wouldnt do it, she'd ruin my life. Soon after she called the police on me after an argument. I was not arrested .Soon after I was hit with a restraining order, and I can't go back to my home, nor get my clothes due to her never being home. She made it seem as if I had been abusing her. Which is not true. She even spoofed a load of messages to her phone as if it was me that sent those messages. What should I do ?

[usedabused 3]

She threatened to file an RO against me. We had a long talk. I told her why would she do that. I told her she knows I would never do anything to harm her, but by that time she had already made up her mind. The following days she vanished. I called her and she wouldnt pick up. I texted and she wouldnt pick up. Finally, I called from another number, and she picked up. I asked her what was going on, she said she needs to spend some time away from me and she wouldnt tell me if she wanted a divorce,The next day she changed her number.

and next few days court officers are telling me I have an TRO against me. She alway told me she never believed in divorce unless adultery is present, and she would also say how God hates divorce . She presented herself as an ultra conservative born again believer. She took her Bible everywhere she went. She played me for an idiot.

[mrsalfayad 6]

She threatened to file an RO against me. We had a long talk. I told her why would she do that. I told her she knows I would never do anything to harm her, but by that time she had already made up her mind. The following days she vanished. I called her and she wouldnt pick up. I texted and she wouldnt pick up. Finally, I called from another number, and she picked up. I asked her what was going on, she said she needs to spend some time away from me and she wouldnt tell me if she wanted a divorce,The next day she changed her number.

and next few days court officers are telling me I have an TRO against me. She alway told me she never believed in divorce unless adultery is present, and she would also say how God hates divorce . She presented herself as an ultra conservative born again believer. She took her Bible everywhere she went. She played me for an idiot.

I wish there was better advice that I could give than just keep your chin up. Marriage issues/divorce/deception are horrible enough to deal with without the immigration issue being mixed in. I hope you are able to get things straightened out with first your local authorities, then with the immigration authorities. Like almost everyone has said on here, withdraw any and all paperwork you have pending for her as soon as possible.

Best of luck.

[usedabused 3]

This is just my opinion, and take on your situation.I am not a lawyer. I hope I am of some help to you.

The first thing you should do is go to the police department of the town you live/lived in. It might be necessary to go to a county officer like Sheriffs Dept. Ask to speak to the duty sergeant. Tell him your situation as regards to her not being home to get your things.Request a mutual time period that a patrol officer can meet at your home, with her there, and be there while you collect your things. The police usually contact the other person. In NJ, this is routine where restraining orders are in effect. It may be different in your state. Usually, the police MUST go along to insure no trouble starts. Usually, a TRO (temporary restraining order) is issued with a scheduled appearance in FAMILY COURT of the county to modify,uphold, or remove the TRO. It can become a permanant Restraining Order this way. If the police did not arrest you, as they MUST if they see signs of injury upon the complainant, then most like your Restraining order will end once the trip to court occurs. Police usually do not provide their Incident reports to the public. However, attempt to get some type of report showing its disposition (even from the court) to show USCIS as proof.

Next up, as other have stated in this Forum, contact USCIS and advise them of a fraud occuring from your wife. If she is in the country illegally, as you have said, I do not see a problem. US Gov will not approve her unless YOU further stick out your neck helping her after all this. Even then US Gov would deny her.

Hey..love is a crazy thing sometimes, but do not fall under her love spell again. I have seen a woman sit infront of a door waiting for someone to enter. When they did she got a black eye from the doorknob. She took a photo, and went straight to the police claiming domestic violence.

SO stay away from her. Shes threatning you because she KNOWS she will get deported. Its a bully trying to force you out of fear.Once you advise USCIS of illegal entry, they usually start deportation proceeding after investigation. Then ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement) will get her. Hope this helps!

I was recently married to a foreigner. Who did not tell me she was here in America illegally. I married her and soon after I was told. All she ever spoke about is me filing for her. She was cold and callous towards me. I never felt loved after the marriage. Soon after she demanded the Green Card. She told me if I wouldnt do it, she'd ruin my life. Soon after she called the police on me after an argument. I was not arrested .Soon after I was hit with a restraining order, and I can't go back to my home, nor get my clothes due to her never being home. She made it seem as if I had been abusing her. Which is not true. She even spoofed a load of messages to her phone as if it was me that sent those messages. What should I do ?

Yes it does help. The crazy thing about it. she couldnt even wait a year. We've only been married for 5 months. Will USCIS take account of that being a scam ? she has no history with me ... no arrest just text arguments, and an TRO statement that doesnt have me making threats to her she presented herself as an ultra orthodox born again Christian who hates divorce.

ICE moves that quick ? She entered USA with a work visa, but it was expired. She re applied, but it was denied. Since then she's been looking for a husband on numerous sites and around town. She actually approached me and blew my mind.

[usedabused 3]

I wish there was better advice that I could give than just keep your chin up. Marriage issues/divorce/deception are horrible enough to deal with without the immigration issue being mixed in. I hope you are able to get things straightened out with first your local authorities, then with the immigration authorities. Like almost everyone has said on here, withdraw any and all paperwork you have pending for her as soon as possible.

Best of luck.

It's been horrible. The least she could do is tell me if she wants a divorce, or not. All her answers are ambigious. I believe she may be pregnant, and it may not be mine, because she had been denying me for 1.5 months, all a sudden she takes sick daily to morning sickness...

My local authorities tell me to call ICE. ICE acts as if they do not care about the situation. I went down to their local office as well. They simply do not care. Illegals have too mant rights in our country. Our immigration laws are a joke.

[usedabused 3]

I wish there was better advice that I could give than just keep your chin up. Marriage issues/divorce/deception are horrible enough to deal with without the immigration issue being mixed in. I hope you are able to get things straightened out with first your local authorities, then with the immigration authorities. Like almost everyone has said on here, withdraw any and all paperwork you have pending for her as soon as possible.

Best of luck.

It's been horrible. The least she could do is tell me if she wants a divorce, or not. All her answers are ambigious. I believe she may be pregnant, and it may not be mine, because she had been denying me for 1.5 months, all a sudden she takes sick daily to morning sickness...

My local authorities tell me to call ICE. ICE acts as if they do not care about the situation. I went down to their local office as well. They simply do not care. Illegals have too mant rights in our country. Our immigration laws are a joke.

As I mentioned, I have never been in trouble with the law. I was never arrested when she called the police. She's very crafty. She would vanish for days, and now she's trying to use me calling her phone trying to find out where she is as a me harassing her. I do not understand how that is wrong of me. I wonder what the judge would do if his wife just vanished for days. See I am sorry to say our feminist laws are out of control.