Dieting

[Rocio 0]

[Jasman0717 8]

[moondancer627 0]

LOL.... Maybe I should put my friends on the duct tape diet, I am going to charge two of my very thin friends $10 everytime they say they are fat to me, cause I am sick of hearing it...

Moondancer

[Marilyn. 340]

Bathroom scales: equipment which only seems to work correctly when one holds on to towel rail, stands on one foot and leans hard to the left.

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Bathroom scale diet tricks

1. Weigh yourself fully clothed after dinner and again the next morning without clothes and before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight!

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including eyeglasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget to remove jewellery as it could weigh as much as a pound!

4. Buy only cheap scales, never the medical kind. Accuracy is the enemy and high quality scales are very accurate.

5. Always go to the bathroom first.

6. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for up to half a pound of hair (hopefully).

7. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale. (Air has weight, right?)

8. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto a towel rod slowly edge your other foot onto the scale while slowly releasing the towel rod. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped onto the scale normally.

Edited May 9, 2006 by MarilynP

[Marilyn. 340]

Rules of Chocolate

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you are eating too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The Problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.??

The Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you will eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy. ??

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what is wrong with you.??

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on the top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of chocolate to protect themselves.

Money talks ..... Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous.?? Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate " at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you will get one thing done.

Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from Cacao Beans. Beans = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from Sugar Beets or Cane, both vegetables. And of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the daily vegetable and dairy intake.

[Razor 0]

here are some creative ways to burn calories, anyone know of any others??

Getting a k1 visa 1 billion calories

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Getting sick with kidney infection - 3lbs down in 3 days

[Melo 1]

I have been reading a book French women aren't fat... quite an eye-opener it is!!!

[aussiewench 9]

here are some creative ways to burn calories, anyone know of any others??

1. beating around the bush - 75

2. jumping to conclusions - 100

3. climbing the walls - 150

4. swallowing your pride - 50

5. passing the buck - 25

6. throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) 50-300

7. dragging your heels - 100

8. pushing your luck - 100

9. making mountains out of molehills - 500

10. hitting the nail on the head - 50

11. wading through paperwork - 300

12. bending over backwards - 75

13. jumping on the bandwagon - 200

14. balancing the books - 25

15. running around in circles - 350

16. eating crow - 225

17. tooting your own horn - 25

18. climbing the ladder of success - 750

19. pulling out the stops - 75

20. adding fuel to the fire - 160

21. wrapping it up at the day's end - 12

22. opening a can of worms - 50

23. putting your foot in your mouth - 300

24. covering your tracks - 165

25. starting the ball rolling - 90

26. going over the edge - 25

27. picking up the pieces after - 350

28. counting eggs before they hatch - 6

29. cracking a smile - 35

30. calling it quits - 2

31. going to hell in a handbasket - 2

32. eating your hat - 150

33. stoning the crows - 45

34. jumping out your skin - 185

[Nessa 23]

ok this is an interesting site.

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

notice that part:

Real - 27 calories

Faked - 160 calories

[aussiewench 9]

ok this is an interesting site.

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

notice that part:

Real - 27 calories

Faked - 160 calories

no wonder I never lose any weight

[Nessa 23]

ok this is an interesting site.

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

notice that part:

Real - 27 calories

Faked - 160 calories

no wonder I never lose any weight

[Ban Hammer 12,837]

ok this is an interesting site.

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

notice that part:

Real - 27 calories

Faked - 160 calories

no wonder I never lose any weight

hmmm i'm starting to wonder if that is why nessa is so skinny

[Marilyn. 340]

Benefits Of Sex

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

[Marilyn. 340]

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.