Prenup...?

[Jacksonj51 0]

I'm sorry if this post offends anyone which I don't want to do since this forum has been so helpful to me and everyone involved but I would like to get serious for a moment. When all the waiting and excitement settles in has anyone thought about any prenuptual agreements?

Assuming that not everyone here is potentially marrying someone wealthy(your fiance(e)) I have long thought about the process in which this can be handled without hurting any feelings. Again I do not want to insinuate anything here however, is it too inappropiate to think about the demise of a marriage 5 to 10 years down the line?

Indeed, with approximately 1/3 of all first marriages, and nearly ½ of all second and third marriages, ending in divorce, a prenuptial agreement may be seen not only as practical but as necessary. Without such agreements, the state may either grant each spouse one-half of the marital assets (if they live in a community property state ) or divide the assets based on an “equitable distribution” (if they live in a non-community property state).

Also I factor in the culturalative differences and the fact that I have met and spoken to so many people with K-1 failed marriages.

In any event, hoping not to get too many of you angry with me I was just wondering if anyone else out there has these same thoughts and if there is an easy way to handle this?

[frndly1 1]

my mother and I had a discussion about this.

You do what you have to do is all I can say, but I would suggest that you talk about this with your fiance especially if she or he is leaving allot behind to come here.

[nordicwolf 0]

nope - would never do it -- unless it was a marriage of convience - for love - -nothing else is important and besides - the goverment kinda provides a mini one for you --

[Jaylen Brit 0]

If this is something you would do whether you married another USC or not then I dont think its odd..if however you would NOT do this for a USC then I'd ask myself why not.

Marriage is a partnership and its also a risk - for her just as much as you (or reverse the sexes if you're a female).

The ideal situation - if you can call it that - would be that at divorce you BOTH end up with something, rather than nothing. The non-USC may be giving up a lot, including financial independence and stability just to come over to marry the USC. What are they supposed to do if a genuinely entered into marriage breaks down? Live on the streets?

However, Im not doing any pre-nup even tho as the non-USC Im better off financially - I'm not thinking about divorce cos I dont want to start off married life looking at ways it might FAIL.

My 2 cents.

[Cristy 4]

Nope. I just asked him too and nope from him too. Personally I feel if you go into it thinking it will fail you are doomed.

[RussianGirl 0]

When my husband and I got married, we were both poor college students with no assets. So, we obviously didn't need a prenup.

I think prenups can be a good idea if both partners are agreeable to it; however, if one feels pressured and unhappy, then it can definitely cause some problems in the marriage.

Good luck!

[Jacksonj51 0]

I agree love conquers all BUT to me getting one done shows me even more how money is of no issue.

[MrMrsKnight 0]

nope - would never do it -- unless it was a marriage of convience - for love - -nothing else is important and besides - the goverment kinda provides a mini one for you --

If this is something you would do whether you married another USC or not then I dont think its odd..if however you would NOT do this for a USC then I'd ask myself why not.

Marriage is a partnership and its also a risk - for her just as much as you (or reverse the sexes if you're a female).

The ideal situation - if you can call it that - would be that at divorce you BOTH end up with something, rather than nothing. The non-USC may be giving up a lot, including financial independence and stability just to come over to marry the USC. What are they supposed to do if a genuinely entered into marriage breaks down? Live on the streets?

However, Im not doing any pre-nup even tho as the non-USC Im better off financially - I'm not thinking about divorce cos I dont want to start off married life looking at ways it might FAIL.

My 2 cents.

My fiance and I agree that you can't have a relationship without trust and the feeling that no mater what happens you'll always want this person to be safe, because you love, right? Now if you have any doubts in your mind, you should first make sure that this person is worth of your trust. But that's only our opinion!

Edited January 30, 2006 by MrMrsKnight

[Rosie420 2]

If you enter a marriage with a prenup, you're setting yourself up for failure. I think marriage is a matter of faith. If my marriage ended, the last thing I'd be thinking about is finances. I'd be crushed and inconsolabe. Maybe rich people think differently. I don't know.

[Fuzzness 2]

We're not rich so we haven't even talked about it

[KarenCee 3]

We're not rich so we haven't even talked about it

We talked....don't need it....plan on growing VERY old together....

[anya-D 8]

we have ours.. and it doesnt make me feel bad or make our relationship to be anything less... we are not thinking about getting divorce.. and would try hard to save the marriage if anything happen...

so if u think u'd want to have one.. ask your fiance about it.. make sure that she/he know what's on your mind and make it fair to both of you.

[kaydee457 13]

Personally, I believe that if you, as an individual have significant assets to protect in the event of a failed marriage then there's absolutely a reason to pursue getting a prenuptial.

I did this myself as I have moderate wealth. There are ways, and means, to introduce this sensitive subject to your fiance(e) without alienating them (no pun intended).

The wrong way is to claim that what is yours is yours prior to marriage and anything you aquire while married is joint, or marital property.

The right way to put it is that, upon dissolution of marriage that property attained by you (assuming your the one protecting assets) is yours, and exclusively yours, if any of the following reasons for the marriage to end come to fruition:

irreconcilable differences

committing adultery

spousal abuse (on her part)

And many other circumstances and caveats...............................

If properly written, the prenuptial should also spell out the circumstances by which your property will revert to your spouse, assuming your spouse is faithful and true to the marriage, as in your sudden death.

There are many here that become quite emotional over this subject but I think that the only people that really give this option serious consideration are of course those that have significant holdings, property and wealth to protect in the likelihood the marriage is dissolved through divorce.

It's clearly the "smart" thing to do, especially if you have significant assets.

[anya-D 8]

we have ours.. and it doesnt make me feel bad or make our relationship to be anything less... we are not thinking about getting divorce.. and would try hard to save the marriage if anything happen...

so if u think u'd want to have one.. ask your fiance about it.. make sure that she/he know what's on your mind and make it fair to both of you. and she/he also can add whatever in it too.

[gimygirl 0]

i think if you have considerable financial/residential/business assets you would be a fool not to try and protect them when entering a new marriage.

it is all nice and lovely and hollywood to think that love lasts for ever, but reality says that it doesn't for almost 1/2 of us. you also need to consider how you feel now is NOT going to be how you feel, should you be presented with a spouse who wants to divorce you, especially if you then have children involved ... trust me!

business is business ... i would definitely present this to your fiancee and have a nice, open discussion about it.