Any of y'all homesick?

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Hi Guys --

so as my honey's interview looms closer and closer and it all becomes a great big reality, I can't help but have my own fear that he's going to be extremely homesick. At the moment he's really really excited, but I know that I'd miss my country if I chose to leave it. Just curious, for those of you who are a little home sick, what is it you miss the most?

Anything I can prepare for now that will help ease some of the homesick blues he may experience somewhere down the line? I could totally be paranoid, but I love my man and want to help in any way I can to make this an awesome experience for him!

[Nigel&Meggie 40]

Hi Guys --

so as my honey's interview looms closer and closer and it all becomes a great big reality, I can't help but have my own fear that he's going to be extremely homesick. At the moment he's really really excited, but I know that I'd miss my country if I chose to leave it. Just curious, for those of you who are a little home sick, what is it you miss the most?

Anything I can prepare for now that will help ease some of the homesick blues he may experience somewhere down the line? I could totally be paranoid, but I love my man and want to help in any way I can to make this an awesome experience for him!

I absolutely love being here with my wife in the US and haven't felt home sick at all! If I had to say something I missed though, then I guess it would be going to the pub and also Indian takeaway (it tastes so much better in the UK!!)

So, in answer to your second question...I am a big Guinness fan, and my wife made sure she knew where the best places to get Guinness on tap were in our local area before I moved over here, which I thought was just great. Maybe you could check out local places that will cater for his specific tastes in drink/food that are maybe not as readily available in the US as they are in the UK. Just an idea

[Fandango 1,439]

Totally off topic, but to the OP...you are really quite pretty. (I'm not hitting on you I swear, I'm a chick)....but I just thought I'd make your day.

As to your Q...where in FL do you live? If you're by a metro area, there are scheisse loads of Brits here, and Brit places to go.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

I think it's normal to become homesick after a while, no matter where you go. The solution will come automatically though: once the US has become your home, you'll feel homesick when you are abroad, like in the Kingdom, and can't wait to go home to the US again.

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I wasn't prepared for my husband's homesickness. Though it didn't last too long, I didn't know how to deal with it, to a point I felt guilty and almost bad for myself as I felt like I couldn't make him happy. I didn't understand it. Once he talked to me about it, I tried very hard to understand and listen. I started cooking/learning how to cook foods he missed, such as cheese and onion pasties, can't come close to greggs but it made him smile when he was down. I also found a English shop that sold sweets and his favorite heinz baked beans. This all helped but what made things better was once he got a job and his own car. He started making friends and now plays football(soccer) twice a week and I never seen him this happy. He thinks of this as his home now and the last time we visited England, he missed his friends from here, actually kept in touch with them even though we were only gone a week.

Just being understanding and not putting a blame on the situation will really help. Also give it time, that's the only real fix. There will be things he'll like here better then the UK and there will be things he hates here. But once he has his own life, not just being a part of yours, things will take shape and look up.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

I absolutely love being here with my wife in the US and haven't felt home sick at all! If I had to say something I missed though, then I guess it would be going to the pub and also Indian takeaway (it tastes so much better in the UK!!)

So, in answer to your second question...I am a big Guinness fan, and my wife made sure she knew where the best places to get Guinness on tap were in our local area before I moved over here, which I thought was just great. Maybe you could check out local places that will cater for his specific tastes in drink/food that are maybe not as readily available in the US as they are in the UK. Just an idea

Ahh. Yes! Must locate some English pubs for him!! Definitely!

Totally off topic, but to the OP...you are really quite pretty. (I'm not hitting on you I swear, I'm a chick)....but I just thought I'd make your day.

As to your Q...where in FL do you live? If you're by a metro area, there are scheisse loads of Brits here, and Brit places to go.

Haha. Thanks! Yep I live in a metro area. Near but not in Orlando

I think it's normal to become homesick after a while, no matter where you go. The solution will come automatically though: once the US has become your home, you'll feel homesick when you are abroad, like in the Kingdom, and can't wait to go home to the US again.

Yeah. He def has friends here and once he joins the football club here he will make even more!

I wasn't prepared for my husband's homesickness. Though it didn't last too long, I didn't know how to deal with it, to a point I felt guilty and almost bad for myself as I felt like I couldn't make him happy. I didn't understand it. Once he talked to me about it, I tried very hard to understand and listen. I started cooking/learning how to cook foods he missed, such as cheese and onion pasties, can't come close to greggs but it made him smile when he was down. I also found a English shop that sold sweets and his favorite heinz baked beans. This all helped but what made things better was once he got a job and his own car. He started making friends and now plays football(soccer) twice a week and I never seen him this happy. He thinks of this as his home now and the last time we visited England, he missed his friends from here, actually kept in touch with them even though we were only gone a week.

Just being understanding and not putting a blame on the situation will really help. Also give it time, that's the only real fix. There will be things he'll like here better then the UK and there will be things he hates here. But once he has his own life, not just being a part of yours, things will take shape and look up.

I def gotta get my cook on for him. And I think you are right about soccer I don't think he could live without it!! All awesome suggestions. Thanks yall!

[Fandango 1,439]

Haha. Thanks! Yep I live in a metro area. Near but not in Orlando

There's a great pub in apopka that is awesome...sometimes you can't even get in the place. St Andrew's Tavern iirc. They put out some pretty traditional food too.

[william_wallace 8]

I miss Scotland very much, even though I live here in the US, Scotland will always be my home.

In about 5-10 years, me and the wife will be back to live there.

If I lived further up north it would be easier. The Deep South can be hard to handle at times as the culture is so different than Europe.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

I suppose it really depends on the person who is immigrating and their ties to their country. But it's still good to hear from those of you who are homesick, to try and pinpoint what it is about home you miss the most and if it can be eased at all by preparation by your spouses.

[Sapphire1965 5]

Hi in response to your question I have only been here in the US 8 weeks now but loving it also my husband is originally from England he has been here 20 years now and misses the US when he goes home for a visit, he actually cant wait to get back to the US not that he doesnt like to visit family but has a life here now, also I agree with the comment about getting work and your own transport I am so looking forward to that because I know my experience here will change greatly. As I will have some independance back and will meet new friends. Good luck. P.S I have been making traditional meals for my husband which he loves, i.e cottage pie, mince and potatoes and good old fashioned battered cod and chips. He still misses them after 20 years and his ex who was from here didnt know what these things were. xxx

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

I wasn't prepared for my husband's homesickness. Though it didn't last too long, I didn't know how to deal with it, to a point I felt guilty and almost bad for myself as I felt like I couldn't make him happy. I didn't understand it.

My story is a little like Kelly's. I'm one of these people that wants to make everybody happy so was trying too hard when he seemed moody because I felt like it was my job to cheer him up. Finally I decided it was up to him to be happy or not. He explained that he wasn't homesick, but felt a like a fish out of water. He didn't know how thing's worked here and who sold what...you know like where to you go if you want a Halford's or Curry's. He was just a little lost at first learning the way of things and it made him out of sorts sometimes. We tasted every cheese at the grocery store deli (nice man there) until he decided on one that would do for his cheese and pickle sandwiches. LOL. And I made him do grocery shopping so he could pick out the things he wanted to try, rather than me trying to guess. Mrs. Paul's Beer Batter fillets are as close as he could find to fish and chip replacement. We have an abundance of wonderful frsh seafood here, but he won't even try it. Whatever!

We went back to England last summer, so only once in almost three years now. He said two weeks was too long and he didn't want to go back this summer. He's actually well settled in and can't wait to become a USC. Oh geez! another application to do next March.

[N&S 32]

I'm still waiting for my jump over the pond but as a German having been living in England for 5.5 years now, I thought I'd contribute my 2 cents anyway. The things that made me homesick - in addition to having to find a new circle of friends, job etc - were and are mainly little things; German food that I didn't even consciously buy regularly in Germany I suddenly had a craving for, bathrooms in England still drive me up the wall (the concept of having two taps that far apart and that close to the edge of the sink), the two cultures being close enough that it feels like I should fit in straight away and still putting my foot in on occasions because I wasn't aware of a cultural difference and no one bothered pointing it out as I apparently seemed adapted enough.

From where I stand my recommendations for you as a USC spouse are:

- Locate sources of comfort food and drink; this can be finding a British Pub, locating a supermarket where he can find sweets / sandwich spreads / drinks or whatever he misses / learning how to cook his favorite meals (cooking it together can be a fun activity and put him in the role of the expert which he might enjoy especially during the wait for work permit etc)

- If it comes to social rules that you are not 100% sure he's aware of find a sweet way to warn him BEFORE he has a chance to put his foot in; to give you an example of what I mean: in Germany it is not really common to give your colleagues xmas cards (at least not that I'm aware of), so I felt like a real idiot when the afternoon before the company went into xmas break all the colleagues started distributing cards and I sat there without a way to retaliate because it would have never occurred to me to give someone a xmas card I saw up to the 24th December. Help him navigate those cultural hurdles to help him save his face.

- Lastly: allow him to rant! Being stranded in a country where you don't know exactly how things work without your normal network of friends and family to ask for help can be incredibly frustrating and then even a little thing might trigger a tirade of how much better everything is at home. Should he start a rant like that, let him vent and try not to get defensive / insulted by him attacking what is normal and right for you.

All of this is obviously very subjective, but maybe you can take something away from it anyway. Good luck for your life together!

[TracyTN 237]

I suppose it really depends on the person who is immigrating and their ties to their country.

This is absolutely true. My husband misses his mom, his best friend and access to decent beer (that is relatively cheap). Other than that, he does NOT miss England one tiny bit. He was sick of England before he left, though, so...!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

- Lastly: allow him to rant! Being stranded in a country where you don't know exactly how things work without your normal network of friends and family to ask for help can be incredibly frustrating and then even a little thing might trigger a tirade of how much better everything is at home. Should he start a rant like that, let him vent and try not to get defensive / insulted by him attacking what is normal and right for you.

This is really important! I don't get too homesick (and there are many things I enjoy far more in the US!) but every now and then I feel like a mini-rant, even if just to remind myself that I am still British. Considering that 99% of the time I am full of nothing but praise for the US I don't feel like it's too much to ask.

It also bugs me when Alex or my housemates 'correct' me. 'I think we ought to have a herb garden' - 'you mean an 'erb garden?' Usually ends with me saying rather irritably, 'no I do not!' I already use a lot of American words where possible - sidewalk, elevator, truck, faucet, etc. - in order to be understood better, but I don't think any American is really going to misunderstand me if I pronounce the 'h' in herb! I know they're only teasing, but it's still irritating!

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

For the herb thing you should respond - "I'm British not French"