Any of y'all homesick?

[DiZZyLoX 114]

I'm still waiting for my jump over the pond but as a German having been living in England for 5.5 years now, I thought I'd contribute my 2 cents anyway. The things that made me homesick - in addition to having to find a new circle of friends, job etc - were and are mainly little things; German food that I didn't even consciously buy regularly in Germany I suddenly had a craving for, bathrooms in England still drive me up the wall (the concept of having two taps that far apart and that close to the edge of the sink), the two cultures being close enough that it feels like I should fit in straight away and still putting my foot in on occasions because I wasn't aware of a cultural difference and no one bothered pointing it out as I apparently seemed adapted enough.

From where I stand my recommendations for you as a USC spouse are:

- Locate sources of comfort food and drink; this can be finding a British Pub, locating a supermarket where he can find sweets / sandwich spreads / drinks or whatever he misses / learning how to cook his favorite meals (cooking it together can be a fun activity and put him in the role of the expert which he might enjoy especially during the wait for work permit etc)

- If it comes to social rules that you are not 100% sure he's aware of find a sweet way to warn him BEFORE he has a chance to put his foot in; to give you an example of what I mean: in Germany it is not really common to give your colleagues xmas cards (at least not that I'm aware of), so I felt like a real idiot when the afternoon before the company went into xmas break all the colleagues started distributing cards and I sat there without a way to retaliate because it would have never occurred to me to give someone a xmas card I saw up to the 24th December. Help him navigate those cultural hurdles to help him save his face.

- Lastly: allow him to rant! Being stranded in a country where you don't know exactly how things work without your normal network of friends and family to ask for help can be incredibly frustrating and then even a little thing might trigger a tirade of how much better everything is at home. Should he start a rant like that, let him vent and try not to get defensive / insulted by him attacking what is normal and right for you.

All of this is obviously very subjective, but maybe you can take something away from it anyway. Good luck for your life together!

All really good points. Especially the rant one. It's hard not to feel guilty or a little insulted when your country is less favored over another...and then after all you're the reason they are here. Will have to remember it's something personal for our spouses, not necessarily because of us.

This is absolutely true. My husband misses his mom, his best friend and access to decent beer (that is relatively cheap). Other than that, he does NOT miss England one tiny bit. He was sick of England before he left, though, so...!

My FI is a little sick of England, but I know there are things about it he must love, too...even unwittingly, things he's used to just having around that might be taken a little for granted.

This is really important! I don't get too homesick (and there are many things I enjoy far more in the US!) but every now and then I feel like a mini-rant, even if just to remind myself that I am still British. Considering that 99% of the time I am full of nothing but praise for the US I don't feel like it's too much to ask.

It also bugs me when Alex or my housemates 'correct' me. 'I think we ought to have a herb garden' - 'you mean an 'erb garden?' Usually ends with me saying rather irritably, 'no I do not!' I already use a lot of American words where possible - sidewalk, elevator, truck, faucet, etc. - in order to be understood better, but I don't think any American is really going to misunderstand me if I pronounce the 'h' in herb! I know they're only teasing, but it's still irritating!

lol no worries he's really good at being pretty damn stern about what he thinks lol so funny you mentioned that!

[Fandango 1,439]

For the herb thing you should respond - "I'm British not French"

You thinking of that David Mitchell piece right now?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Ha! I hadn't seen that before. I have seen a group of French people singing the Beatles song Help on karaoke - it was pretty funny.

[Fandango 1,439]

Ha! I hadn't seen that before. I have seen a group of French people singing the Beatles song Help on karaoke - it was pretty funny.

I can imagine!

Yeah, the 'could/couldn't care less' is a huge peeve of mine...but 'holding the fort' and 'you're French all of a sudden, are you?' were great bonuses to the clip

[zedbragirl 0]

My other half has done better than I thought he would about the homesickness, although it might be some help that his best friend and mom (mum, mother, whatever) will be here in 2 days and staying for a few weeks for the wedding.

One thing I did notice he really misses was his tea, and mars bars. The tea was a close to simple fix, as we were able to find some PG Tips at a Ralph's supermarket, and found an incredible deal for like 400 PG Tips teabags on amazon.

The mars bars have not been quite so easy, but I found some mars bars imported from England online, and he's been quite pleased with those.

That's my two cents

....and as Eddie Izzard says "it's Herbs...because there's a f%#*ing 'h' in it"

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

The mars bars have not been quite so easy, but I found some mars bars imported from England online, and he's been quite pleased with those.

I thought a Mars bar was a Milky Way in the US. Has he tried one of those? I miss Crunchie bars and I only met them last summer.

[zedbragirl 0]

Yeah we did some research and that was the first one we tried, but it's not quite right. Apparently Wal-Mart has brought back a type of Mars bar, but we haven't tried that one yet...I get too tempted to buy everything when I go into a Wal-Mart...

[Minnesotagirl 0]

I have been considering the move over to the USA to be with my boyfriend but we have not filed for our K1 yet.

I have spoken at length about the things i think i would miss. I know i would miss my family because there arn't many of us and we are very close. I know i would miss some of my friends.

Skype has been my lifeline for me and my bf and i think it would work well for me when i move so i can talk to my family. I also, once i get over there and adjust my status plan to come back to the UK atleast once a year, and my parents would hopefully come over here to visit too.

Like others it depends on the person. I myself feel i am ready to start a new life away from the UK and be with the one i love. I know i would miss certain foods and certain cultural differences, but i know if i can keep the contact with my family, then i will be able to be happy.

[* Kristin * 49]

If anyone's in the Orange County, CA area (or feels up for a drive there) , there is a wonderful little shop in Laguna Niguel that carries an assortment of British goods called African Hut (yes, they also do carry South African good). We popped in there last weekend and caught up on some of his favourites... Lucozade, fruity Brown Sauce, Cadbury Snack, etc. In addition to food items, they also have household goods (e.g. Fairy liquid).

Not too overpriced, shockingly,

We'll definitely be going back!

[David And Katie 5]

I thought a Mars bar was a Milky Way in the US. Has he tried one of those? I miss Crunchie bars and I only met them last summer.

Yeah, Mars Bars are Milky Ways but you can get American Milky Ways too.

It's weird.

I am going to bring a multi-pack of Mars bars with me (watch them get confiscated at CBP )

Mmmm, Crunchies. The future Mrs David loves Dairy Milk with Crunchie bits in That stuff ROCKS.

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

Yeah, Mars Bars are Milky Ways but you can get American Milky Ways too.

It's weird.

Wait you got me confused. I was saying UK Mars Bar = US Milky Way

There is (was?) a US Mars Bar that I recall more like a 3 Muskateers bar but a couple of almonds on top. It has nougat(?) fluffy stuff inside, no caramel layer. I haven't shopped the candy row lately.

Galaxy bars were my favorite until I tried Crunchie last summer. They were on special offer at Sainsbury's-- 6 bars for a pound. We probably ate a dozen bars apiece. We saw Crunchie here at World Market, but one bar was around $3.

Edited July 25, 2011 by Nich-Nick

[ZedbraGuy 6]

Milky Way here are similar but not the same, and the Mars Bars at Walmart are nothing like Mars Bars

[Fandango 1,439]

I loved Mint Aeros. And I liked Yorkies, but wouldn't eat them, cos they were sexist chocolate /channeling Eddie Murphy OFF

[David And Katie 5]

Milky Way here are similar but not the same, and the Mars Bars at Walmart are nothing like Mars Bars

Milky Ways in the UK are different to the US Milky Ways, I think.

US Mars Bars are nothing like UK Mars Bars, but I suppose the nearest thing to a Mars is a US Milky Way.. got it? Good, cuz I haven't.

[Brit Abroad 166]

Almost 3 years in and I still miss the food.

I detest American bread. It's so full of sugar that it's more like cake. Solution: Buy a breadmaker. Endless variety.

I miss jacket potatoes being sold in every cafe and bar, with the huge array of awesome (see, I'm almost American now) fillings. Tuna mayo corn, cheese and beans, cheese and coleslaw etc. Luckily, I can reproduce those at home, but sometimes a girl wants to eat lunch out, and endless burgers, hotdogs and breaded chicken just aren't on my wish list.

I miss lamb. Why do Americans seem to hate it so much? Lamb chops with mint sauce, buttery mashed potatoes and peas ..... well, comfort food is always welcome.

Victoria sponge, raspberry and apple lattice pies, raspberry meringue, cream slice, eccles cakes, cornish pasties, sausage rolls, chicken and mushroom pie from the chippy, non-chilled beer and ale, fruit squash, viennetta, proper bacon that isn't just rashers of fat, scampi, kippers on toast .. and, my final loss .. proper chocolate (Quality Street, caramel, starbar, mint aero, crunchie .. now I'm drooling).

Of course, to be fair, America has wonderful food, too. Seriously, you don't know what you'll miss until you arrive. Be kind to your spouse and reassure them that it's not personal, it's not that you hate America or the way America does things, it's that you miss the ease and comfort of familiarity at home. Accept that you traded familiarity for a wonderful person to share your life with and you'll soon be talking with a twang and telling people how wonderful America is when you go home for a visit.