Heart sore and Clueless

[heartsoreusa 1]

Well as I don't have anyone to confide in and am very heartsore and clueless , I am here to seek advice and help. My situation is that I came here on a K1 with children, totally in love with my then fiance , now married. We have adjusted status and have 2 year GC. Thing is I have basically been led down the garden path, so much about his life that I did not know for years before I came to USA. He leads 2 lives and I cant trust him at all. I gave him my all, I lost everything in old country. I don't know what to do , do I divorce and then whats happens to our residency ? We are doing ok here and want to stay , but if I divorce I have nothing , he has it all. The marriage was entered in good faith and I so wish it was not turning out like this because I still love him and want a life with him. Please help me !!!!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Well as I don't have anyone to confide in and am very heartsore and clueless , I am here to seek advice and help. My situation is that I came here on a K1 with children, totally in love with my then fiance , now married. We have adjusted status and have 2 year GC. Thing is I have basically been led down the garden path, so much about his life that I did not know for years before I came to USA. He leads 2 lives and I cant trust him at all. I gave him my all, I lost everything in old country. I don't know what to do , do I divorce and then whats happens to our residency ? We are doing ok here and want to stay , but if I divorce I have nothing , he has it all. The marriage was entered in good faith and I so wish it was not turning out like this because I still love him and want a life with him. Please help me !!!!

Are you asking for immigration or marital advice?

If you want immigration advice then you can divorce and file an I-751 to remove conditions on your green card. There's a check box on the form if you're asking for a waiver of the joint filing requirement based on divorce. You'll need evidence you entered the marriage in good faith, and a copy of the divorce decree. There's a pinned thread in this sub-forum about this.

If you want marital advice then we need to know more about your situation. What's the "double life" you say your husband is leading?

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough. Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

Well as I don't have anyone to confide in and am very heartsore and clueless , I am here to seek advice and help. My situation is that I came here on a K1 with children, totally in love with my then fiance , now married. We have adjusted status and have 2 year GC. Thing is I have basically been led down the garden path, so much about his life that I did not know for years before I came to USA. He leads 2 lives and I cant trust him at all. I gave him my all, I lost everything in old country. I don't know what to do , do I divorce and then whats happens to our residency ? We are doing ok here and want to stay , but if I divorce I have nothing , he has it all. The marriage was entered in good faith and I so wish it was not turning out like this because I still love him and want a life with him. Please help me !!!!

[Tahoma 2,291]

If you want immigration advice then you can divorce and file an I-751 to remove conditions on your green card. There's a check box on the form if you're asking for a waiver of the joint filing requirement based on divorce. You'll need evidence you entered the marriage in good faith, and a copy of the divorce decree. There's a pinned thread in this sub-forum about this.

...if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

Adil & Jeanne...

JimVaPhuong's immigration advice is correct.

[TracyTN 237]

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough

It's not up to the process to somehow 'check' the relationship. It's up to the couple to make sure they spend enough time together prior to filing to be as sure as they can that the relationship will succeed.

I happen to know the K1 'works' as that's how countless of successful VJ relationships started - mine included.

Edited June 16, 2011 by TracyTN

[heartsoreusa 1]

Thank you for your response , I know I can file for Divorce but in my State you have to be seperated for 2 years before divorce and my 2 yr ends in 12 months , so what do I do if we are only seperated at that time ?

Are you asking for immigration or marital advice?

If you want immigration advice then you can divorce and file an I-751 to remove conditions on your green card. There's a check box on the form if you're asking for a waiver of the joint filing requirement based on divorce. You'll need evidence you entered the marriage in good faith, and a copy of the divorce decree. There's a pinned thread in this sub-forum about this.

If you want marital advice then we need to know more about your situation. What's the "double life" you say your husband is leading?

[heartsoreusa 1]

I have been here 2 yrs now , I know I must see Attorney for the legalitys. Yes , I love him because I always believed in the person he was, in all he did for the relationship , me and my kids. He has someone else who it seems to be more permanent in his life and has been for a while , I am not been given that chance it seems. I am unhappy because I believed in him and the love for a long time and never wanted to lose it.

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough. Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thank you for your response , I know I can file for Divorce but in my State you have to be seperated for 2 years before divorce and my 2 yr ends in 12 months , so what do I do if we are only seperated at that time ?

Two options:

First, you could move to another state, stay long enough to be considered a resident, and file for divorce there. You aren't required to divorce in the same state where you were married.

Second, hire a divorce lawyer and file for the divorce now. Some states that have a minimum separation period will waive that requirement in the case of an uncontested divorce.

Whatever happens, you MUST file the I-751 in the 90 day window before your conditional green card expires. Do not file late - your status will be terminated if you do. If you can't get the divorce decree in time then go ahead and file the I-751 without it. When USCIS gets around to adjudicating your I-751 then they'll send an RFE for the divorce decree. This should buy you a few more months, at least. If you can't get the divorce decree in time to respond to the RFE then they'll begin removal proceedings. At this point, you hire an immigration lawyer to represent you in court. When you go to the master hearing at the immigration court your lawyer will ask the judge for a stay while you're waiting for your divorce decree. The judge will grant the stay. When you return to the immigration court with the divorce decree then the judge can grant your removal of conditions, or kick it back to USCIS for adjudication.

Don't worry. If you play your cards right then you won't be deported for not getting a divorce decree in time.

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough. Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

In many countries, a K1 is scrutinized far more than a CR1. Check into the regional forums for China, Vietnam, Nigeria, and Morocco and see how carefully they "check into the relationship" of K1 applicants.

What is a "general attorney"? Nearly all attorneys have a specialty. For the divorce she would hire a divorce attorney. For immigration she would hire an immigration attorney.

I don't know where you got this 5 year requirement, but it's wrong.

[ScottThuy 140]

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough. Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

-1

[heartsoreusa 1]

Ok Scott , I see you shaking your head , please explain why ?

-1

[ScottThuy 140]

The post I responded to was full of misinformation... not just mt opinion, but the opinion of others here and backed up by fact...

Wrong This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough(they did an 8 month investigation on us after the interview). Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US. wrong

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Since you still love this man and entered the marriage in good faith, do you think this is a situation that might benefit from the two of you receiving some sort of marriage counseling?

Regardless of whether you stay in the marriage or leave it, you sill still need to address the I-751 Removal of Conditions application. You can start collecting the evidence that shows you entered the marriage in good faith and have planned for your new life together (financial records, tax returns, things like that) and be ready to file when the time comes. If you stay together due to counseling, then there won't be a problem. If you do separate and are headed for divorce, then Jim's advice is sound. Only you can know whether there is anything in this relationship that can be salvaged or if it is even worth trying to go down that road or not.

Good luck to you. I am so sorry that things have not turned out as you had hoped and you are having to deal with this heartache.

Edited June 18, 2011 by Kathryn41

[rlogan 2,036]

Ditto the question about counseling. Heartsore and Clueless, you indicated he lived two lives but no specifics, so it could range from a significant problem to murderous psychomaniac. If a person refuses counseling or refuses to cooperate during counseling then you don't have any option but divorce. If he is amenable maybe you can get divorced in another state. Nevada or Arizona for example. They have quickie divorces.

[SuperDuper! 230]

This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough. Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US.

Just because you don't like it, don't mean ya gotta hate on it...

OP, you came to the right place for some solace, info and direction.

Just sort the wheat from the chaff.

Good luck.

[heartsoreusa 1]

Thank you for the correct information !

The post I responded to was full of misinformation... not just mt opinion, but the opinion of others here and backed up by fact...

Wrong This is why the K-1 does not work. the process does not check into the relationship enough(they did an 8 month investigation on us after the interview). Why do you love him? YOu say he leads 2 lives. What lives? HOw long have you been in US?

What makes you uphappy?

Is best to see lawyer and ask for advise on your individual status- not immmigration but general attorney. Depending on your state, you have rights. but if not here for 5 years and divorce, you can not stay in US. wrong