NOA2. where you go????

[southcalhog 43]

Sorry if I offended but that wasn't the intent. Trust me, once you get the approval and the interview is getting close and you know she's almost here, you really won't be thinking about this time. You'll be focused so much on the future that the rest won't seem as important.

You're almost there. Keep on keeping on. Remember, we're all on your side in this.

YES WE ARE!

[MikelanNida 28]

MikelanNida: WOW sorry about the 221g... that is a bummer after everything.... Probably she mentioned you are between jobs, or on unemployment. this will make things tough. find a job as quickly as possible. She was probably asked what you did, and stated you were between jobs going on unemployment. This probably set off a HUGE Red FLAG. I wish you the best in the process.

B_J: no, I will not forget the process and how "Long" it was.... Some things just stick with you....

b & q: maybe, but also realize, the extended family has had people here in Phoenix for a long time, about 10 years. She has relatives in Phoenix, Georgia, Texas, and Las Vegas that I know of. How do you sleep at night when you have so much, and your fiance has so little? How do you live with yourself when you know they live that way, happy that way, but it breaks your heart to see them starving at times? How do you in your soul, live with yourself being apathetic to a situation? I understand things,,, but sometimes, you just get "moved" when you see something...

I think you have me confused with someone else, I have been at my job 11 years and i am covering 5 dependants on my I134 so i know its not my employment for sure on the 221g, anyway good luck and i hope everything works out for you

[gretchen_darren 67]

Please understand, I see her point of things. If it wasn't for mu kids here. I would not be living somewhere in the world where her and I could be together now. i have lived in her way as a child and kid. I grew up in campgrounds during the summer months... i remember many summers living at campgrounds and in a trailer...What I grew up in was some of the harshest environments... As a 10 year old kid, I used to go for hikes in woods never worrying about snakes and bears, and other creatures... It is amazing how God was protecting my innocence. Yes, what I have is very strange to her. And our paths were coming closer and closer to crossing day by day. We spend much much time talking, she speaks english, and I am learning visayan/tagalog. I was learning Russian. Her "aunt" lives just 500 yards from where my Russian lessons were. it was just a matter of time before our paths crossed. it was getting closer and closer. When we met, we were ready. I have been exposing her to my way of living and fast food. I also stay in their house when I am there. I accept her way of life. Also, many of the adults she grew up with in her village live here including her dad's best friend. She has not seen many of them since she was a child. She will get to see them again. She has been talking with them already. One of her cousins may be moving back to the area as well.

during the day, I am going to take her to her aunt's house while I am at the office, so she can be with them.

we will have a "ribbon" signal system worked out. the ribbon color will tell me what she wants.

She will teach me more of her language and i help her with English

We will visit her village two or three times after we get AP to help her adjust to america.

We will pack boxes for her family and friends back home, Shipping a carton or two each month.

Each visit I am spending time in her village. However, each visit, I am exposing her to more of my life... just a little at a time. 1st visit was staying at her village constantly and staying gingoog, not much for hot water in the hotel, eating at mcdonalds and jollibee, taking chocolates.

2nd visit was staying in Almont in butuan, some hot water,, and going to guisano mall, eating at pizza hut, and the hotel plus spending time in her village, taking her clothes/food from america, sending boxes with food, bringing her proper engagement ring.

3rd visit is manila with her parents along, embassy, medical, staying in a hotel with hot hot water, flying in a plane, seeing the international terminal section through the windows, CFO, eating at tgi fridays, wendy's, burger king. etc., spending some time in her village.

4th visit is her flying to america, spending time in a plane, spending time in her village, coming to live in america. meeting her "aunt", "uncle" and other friends in phoenix when we arrive. Each trip is just a little more then the last one.

[B_J 2,752]

going to guisano mall, eating at pizza hut

Hey, I've eaten at that pizza hut.

[Richie Rich 70]

Channah&Aaron: I know it may seem like complaining, but I CANNOT even get her a TOURIST VISA to come visit me or see me in the USA. It may seem like complaining to you, but at least y'all got to visit.. If you want to know the conditions... go north, east, or west of Pittsburgh.... Go to the outskirts of kittanning, PA, or go south of Wheeling, West Virginia, or head east into Reading... or go down to the Blue ridge off of I-81 by Front royal, virginia. You drove from Texas to Pittsburgh, did you see ANY of the backwater towns along the way? go camping on the banks of the Allegheny river. You will get a feel for how they live each and every single day.

Imagine eating rice and sardines (no bigger then your index finger) for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. Imagine cooking fish in vinegar. Imagine days not cooking becasue it is raining. Imagine not being able to work because the water is too rough or the nets will not go deep enough. Imagine going to work, and coming home with nothing day after day. Imagine looking at your family, knowing there is no money for food. Imagine no hot water at all unless you boil it. No running water apart from one pump in the village. You wash clothes, pots, pans all by hand, bathe, cook your food in, and plus drink water from the one and only pump in the village which is next to a pond. The whole village uses an outhouse to go to the bathroom.

I know I may sound complaining.... not even five months... but can you imagine not even being able to visit except going to see her in her village? Can you imagine seeing living conditions so bad you cannot even begin to tell people what it is like? Knowing how you live back home, and just know you have to leave someone you love in a state which just tears you apart? If it is complaining that is fine... but just imagine living on $20 (either US or Euro) a week for 7 people...less then $100 a month. Electric costs you $12 a month. no stove, no fridge, and going to get groceries costs you $5 each way. You also have to mend nets, patch the house, school supplies, clothes, cell phone, etc. How do you support a family of 7 with just $100 a month????

They survived before she met you and she will survive even if it takes 1 yr more . You are painting a 'figment of yr imagination '' picture . I have been to the Pi several times and I have never encoutered all the secanario in ONE place tha you mentioned . Stop bitching --I waited over 6 mths before being approved and many like Channa waited over 7 mths and many are waiting over 8 mths .Eveything happens for a purpose . Just get yourself prepared so when the times comes --you will be 'ready ''.

[gretchen_darren 67]

trust me, in that ONE place it exists. Yes, they survived before me. BUT to be told it is not humanitarian... when over 60% of USAID GOES into that area of the Philippines, is jsut preposterous. I know there have been people waiting a long time here. I think it is outrageous to be wiring so long. The thing is I am not just GOING AWAY once my journey is done or even going. I am CHANGING the process. I am writing a revision to the process to submit to congress. I am going to stand up and WORK to revise the process. It may be complaining to you. But I AM MOTIVATED to change it. I am reading the code, the admendemtns and changes to the code. The REASON for the code in the beginning was for US. to reunite families. THAT REASON has been lost in favor of employers. Everyone is screaming abuse, age limits, protection, but NO ONE is screaming/yelling/protesting about FAMILY. Everyone wants change, but until a "Boston tea party" happens, until ONe person starts speaking up to take the challenge... WHEN WILL change occur?

[b & q 35]

trust me, in that ONE place it exists. Yes, they survived before me. BUT to be told it is not humanitarian... when over 60% of USAID GOES into that area of the Philippines, is jsut preposterous. I know there have been people waiting a long time here. I think it is outrageous to be wiring so long. The thing is I am not just GOING AWAY once my journey is done or even going. I am CHANGING the process. I am writing a revision to the process to submit to congress. I am going to stand up and WORK to revise the process. It may be complaining to you. But I AM MOTIVATED to change it. I am reading the code, the admendemtns and changes to the code. The REASON for the code in the beginning was for US. to reunite families. THAT REASON has been lost in favor of employers. Everyone is screaming abuse, age limits, protection, but NO ONE is screaming/yelling/protesting about FAMILY. Everyone wants change, but until a "Boston tea party" happens, until ONe person starts speaking up to take the challenge... WHEN WILL change occur?

Take a deep breath, collect yourself, and re-think what you just wrote. Do you really want your case officer to see this message when they interview your fiance? Honestly, just by reading this post alone (and not saying it's the truth), this post makes your relationship look weaker than what it really is.

Your plan to change the system is bold, however, if your fiance saw these messages what would she think? An emotionally insecure man? I think so. I'm not saying you are, but come on man. I highly doubt you are the first person to have a fiance coming from a terrible lifestyle.

Something else I want to say, you are talking to a bunch of people who are also waiting a long time to see their fiance. Some of them don't even have the luxury of going back and forth as often as you do! And you are sitting here complaining like you are the only one in the world going through this. It's pretty much a slap in the face to other members on this board.

I appreciate your situation but I, for one, would also appreciate it if you calm down, take a deep breath, and think about what you post next time before you start offending the very people that support you!

[gretchen_darren 67]

I have a dream..... I have a DREAM..... hmmm... how did the rest of that go.....

[southcalhog 43]

They survived before she met you and she will survive even if it takes 1 yr more . You are painting a 'figment of yr imagination '' picture . I have been to the Pi several times and I have never encoutered all the secanario in ONE place tha you mentioned . Stop bitching --I waited over 6 mths before being approved and many like Channa waited over 7 mths and many are waiting over 8 mths .Eveything happens for a purpose . Just get yourself prepared so when the times comes --you will be 'ready ''.

Darren You need to relax Bro like other members say! We all going through the same thing.You hadnt Filed your K-1 and a Month later you filing for a expedite. And then in Another month later you contacting your Senator/ Congressman. In Less than 2 Months!! It is a LOT od people on here Like members have said that are waiting just like you! Some have waited less, some have waited More.it all depends.Dont you think USCIS looks at this Site? Come on Chill!

[southcalhog 43]

Take a deep breath, collect yourself, and re-think what you just wrote. Do you really want your case officer to see this message when they interview your fiance? Honestly, just by reading this post alone (and not saying it's the truth), this post makes your relationship look weaker than what it really is.

Your plan to change the system is bold, however, if your fiance saw these messages what would she think? An emotionally insecure man? I think so. I'm not saying you are, but come on man. I highly doubt you are the first person to have a fiance coming from a terrible lifestyle.

Something else I want to say, you are talking to a bunch of people who are also waiting a long time to see their fiance. Some of them don't even have the luxury of going back and forth as often as you do! And you are sitting here complaining like you are the only one in the world going through this. It's pretty much a slap in the face to other members on this board.

I appreciate your situation but I, for one, would also appreciate it if you calm down, take a deep breath, and think about what you post next time before you start offending the very people that support you!

[gretchen_darren 67]

yes, there are those who have waited less, and those who have waited more. I asked for an expedite as I filed the form. Asking in the cover letter. I never got a response, so I called. that call made me feel like I was "trash" Literally. It was horrible customer service. How dare I call to find out why I had no answer, why didn't I go to the local USCIS office instead? I did as was asked. the senator did not have to respond or look at it. but the senator chose to. Maybe I am complaining, stirring up strife, who knows. If I offend people, I am sorry. I just MISS her so much. She is my best friend, my confidant, the person I LOVE just being with. I know we are all missing our loved ones, and going through the separation is not easy. I am glad for what the USCIS is doing. I know they are trying. I am just frustrated over practices and policies. I know they are there for a purpose. And I am trying to work within the system. I am not trying to circumvent or go around the system. Maybe I am putting too much effort into getting her here. and yes, I did go see her again, but I really, really scrimped and aved my money. I have laid lots of money aside to bring her here. I put money into savings in order to be able to see her. Instead of buying things, I put money away. I eat soup for dinner, cereal for breakfast, and many times just crackers for lunch. I am careful in what I buy, what I spend just so I could go see her while waiting. I sacrificed so I could travel again. going to get her here is going to cost me money. UNPAID time from work which is costly when I have car payments, child support, and a mortgage. Nothing on me is easy. Plus I am going to college as well for refresher courses and to try to get into Doctorate school.

I spent years, years in an unloving marriage. Being tortured, argued with, emotionally abused. Mornings were happy, afternoons were ok, then the evening when I got home was a blow up, an argument. I HATED going home to my ex. Imagine one night your son saying he did not home anymore because it was an "argument" house. Imagine being out of work for a while, and seeing your ex come home in a good mood until she saw you, then everything changed. (it did not matter if dinner was ready, or dishes being done, or kids bathed, or yard being mowed, just you as a guy, had not taken care of something in the house - like a housewife - because you were home all day trying to look for a job and on your 7th anniversary, 9th anniversary you are fired form a job, and 10th anniversary she asked for a divorce. The 10th anniversary you are out of a job and she cleans out $6500 from your accounts, plus goes and rents a place. Plus wonders why you are not caring if you stay together. - NO job, no money, lots of bills, and possibly losing the house. hmm, ever hear of kicking the dog on a bad day?)

Now I have found someone who loves me. Who just loves being with me. We cannot stop wanting to talk with each other. And when we are together, she wants to be next to me. She wants to sleep in my arms. In she is not in my arms, she curls up next to me. Her love is so wonderful. After living without love, with touching, holding hands, or even cuddling. Just having someone who WANTS those things is like being in an oasis. You don't care about anything around you, you have found heaven. I wish I could help you understand what I have been through in my past marriage. the worst part is I THOUGHT it was ME who was the problem. Imagine getting rebuffed night after night trying to cuddle with your ex at the time. Maybe I am pounding on the door, causing problems. BUT, if you found something you had been starving for, praying for, and dreaming of, how much would you do to have it? What would you give for it? She is gwapa mangarap angel ko... I know I may be making others mad. But after a marriage where I literally went to bed alone for 8 years, and woke up alone as well. Can I not just have a little consideration? I know others are going through the same thing. And I feel for each one. i hope you can at least understand.

[mimi and sean 9]

Darren I've read all of your posts and I rarely post anything but I can't sit back any longer. Obviously you have been extremely hurt in your past relationship, and you are still suffering from the emotional pain you endured. However I think you are directing this pain towards the visa process rather then taking the time to heal your old wounds. Maybe you should take this waiting period and use it to repair yourself, get some therapy to make yourself whole again rather then trying to rush things that can't be rushed. Turn this experience into a positive instead of a negative. It is so much easier to look to another person to make you whole but in reality we must be at peace with ourselves and our pasts in order to succeed at the next relationship. Instead of obsessing on this process and trying to change things that are beyond your scope and power, maybe you should work on dealing with your own personal obstacles so that you can be your best for your fiance when she gets here. I have been through a horrible marriage, 15 years of domestic violence, I've been spit on and thrown out of my home with my 2 small children taking only what I could carry with nowhere to go and no money and suffered enormous emotional damage, trust me I understand the pain and loneliness you have felt. But you know what, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and worked on healing myself when it would have been so much simpler to turn to the first person that showed me some kindness and consumed myself by them. Maybe you have gotten lucky and found your soulmate, maybe she is your reward for living through so much unhappiness, but Darren, you have to have patience, you have to deal with this situation in a level headed manner, and you have to stop thinking you and your fiance are the only ones in this situation. It's hard for all who are waiting, noone understands how hard this is like the people who are trying to support you here, so look inside yourself and get to the heart of your anger and frustration. Use this process to your benefit, you can't control the length of time this process takes but you can control how you choose to utilize the time you spend on this journey. Good luck.

[gretchen_darren 67]

thanks for the response. Read the book the 5 love languages. Watch fireproof, facing the giants. Look at tucker, the man and his dream. then look at what exactly is a woman from proverbs 31. My fiance is priceless to me. Beyond anything ever to be found. I do not refer to her as my soulmate. But as to who my heart and soul is joined to. She is MY heart. She is MY soul. She is my greatest treasure. What you treasure is where your heart is. just imagine you are THE most valuable to your spouse. NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING in this world, is more valuable then you. Your spouse would literally lay down their life for you at a moment's notice. How would you respond to that type of love? When I send her money, my fiance does not spend it on herself. It goes to paying electric, to buying food, to taking care of her parents and family there. Her heart is on her family.

I found a girl that NOW would throw fits over. AND I LOVE IT!!! My fiance is MORE POWERFUL THEN ANY OTHER WOMAN in THE WORLD. And why? BECAUSE SHE IS A WOMAN. BECAUSE SHE LOVES unconditionally with her whole heart. Letting her serve me, is the highest form of love I can show her. Letting her serve me is also THE hardest thing I do.

Look at the other side of the coin. my fiance is in another country, thousands of miles away. AM I, me, myself, just willing to sit and wait? Am I being THE MAN of the family? Do I actively SHOW her how much I love her by trying to get her here? I really do not care how many people on this board I make mad. I am caring that I am MAKING sure beyond a shadow of a doubt my fiance KNOWS I WANT HER. I am trying to move heaven and Hell to get her here. My focus is on HER. She is waiting. But I am making sure she knows I am trying and not just sitting. I am looking from my fiance's perspective.

[Anginafrica 12]

I completely agree with mimi and sean. I'd also like to point out that your comment 'Letting her serve me, is the highest form of love I can show her.' is seriously disturbing. As a woman myself, I'm thankful for a fiance who shows me much higher forms of love than allowing me to 'serve' him. In fact, I'm not even sure we would consider that a form of love.

We all care deeply about our fiance(e)s, I totally get it. But you need to relax and wait it out like the rest of us. Your time will come.

Edited June 15, 2011 by Anginafrica

[mimi and sean 9]

I wasn't being rude to you and Lord knows others before me have bent over backwards to try to be as kind and supportive to you as possible but it seems no matter what anyone says you would rather wallow in self pity. Last time I checked everyone here has a fiance in another country, so you're not exactly unique. Everyone here is in love and wants desperately to start their lives with the person with whom they love dearly. Plenty of people are facing hardships and heartache. Just because most people choose to utilize their time productively and handle their heartache in an adult manner doesn't mean you are the only one yearning to be with their fiance. Some/most of us have been in relationships with our loved ones for years, let's face facts it's been 6 months since you met this girl and you're acting like a sniveling spoiled child because you need to have her NOW. Get a grip, get over your tantrums and let's hope the visa comes before your nervous breakdown.