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Do you consider your marriage a success after all the wait, the paperwork, and the long distance relationship?

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

As a new comer to this site,(I have only been a member few days now), I have read a lot of topics of interest. Hence, I want to thank you all for the support this site offers. Some of the topics are relevant to our case(we are waiting on my fiance's AP, it's been four months), and some are not so relevant. Whatever the case may be, we all share "a common ground", we are all in the process of bringing a fiance,a wife, or a husband here to the states and having this kind of support is comforting.

My questions to you are:

Do you feel that the long distance relationship had its benefits? such as getting to know each other better over time with chatting, emails, calls, short visits and etc? How is being together and being "married" after all the struggles, the wait, and hardship? Are you happy? Any regrets? How would you say this kind of relationship differs from "normal and close proximity relationships" in the past? If you were to give an advice to someone who is going through all this, what would it be?

Thanks in advance for your comments, advice and thoughts!

May you find the happiness you seek. God bless.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

My husband (then fiancee) came here April 4th,2010 last year and I want to say after all the struggles, waiting for the petition to be approved and getting the visa it was well worth it. I feel that our long distance relationship made for us not to take each other for granted. My husband is in Nigeria right now (I miss him terribly, he will be back in a few weeks) I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him. Im not often on visajourney as much because of the horrible scam stories (its very disheartening to read), but what I will advisa for you and your partner to do is pray and stay close to God. Because with him anything and everything is possible.

Take care,

Nwanyioma

AOS Timeline
7-23-2010 AOS package mailed priority via USPS to Chicago Lockbox (expected delivery date 7-26-2010)
7-27-2010 AOS package delivered
8-3-2010 NOA 1 AOS/EAD/AP (received hard copy NOA 1's in mailbox 8-7-2010)
8-6-2010 AOS/EAD/AP Touched
8-9-2010 AOS/EAD/AP Touched
9-15-2010 Biometrics walk-in at Alexandria,VA ASC(original appointment date 10-5-2010)
9-15-2010 AOS/EAD Touched
9-16-2010 AOS/EAD Touched
9-22-2010 EAD/AP Touched
9-22-2010 EAD card production ordered. Approved!!!!!
9-23-2010 EAD/AP Touched
9-30-2010 EAD received in mail
10-4-2010 Received interview letter in the mail
11-9-2010 AOS interview 11:00am in Baltimore, Maryland
11-9-2010 Greencard approved!!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ghana
Timeline

Patience is the key in any relationship but especially in a long distance relationship with the visa process involved.

One of the things with a LDR is that if you want it to work you need to communicate. Its so easy to just not email/call/write/text etc when you are not invested in the relationship. It does help to get to know your SO more in that sense but you also miss the the actual being together and how things can be different. So many of us are so focused on getting our SO's here that we forget that making a life with another person who is also from a different culture takes so much more than just love.

Good luck to you.

Mama to 2 beautiful boys (August 2011 and January 2015)

Click for full timeline

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Joseph and I went through the K1 process 2 times. It was hard. He didn't have a computer and I have a job that only allows limited time off and travel to foreign countries has to be pre cleared. During our wait we dealt with the death of his father. We have been married over a year and still are adjusting to to life together and changes in our lives. but we are happy. You can find the thread I started titled "Happy Endings" which was started to counter the tales of fraud. There are a lot of tales of woe. Partly because the average USC doesn't understand the culture there and how there are some that will do everything to get to the US. But if you have taken the time to learn your spouse and the family you shouldn't be back telling that sort of tale.

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

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I am relatively new here myself (only about two months), but my SO and I are older (I am almost 50). We both have learned from age and experience that the talking we do right now ( almost daily by Skype) will really help us live as we grow older. So the LDR is something we are using to create good bonds of talking, friendship and care for one another.

This is hard work, but as I say everyday to her "You are worth the wait."

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Learning to wait is part of growing up..

Good luck

1/28/11 Sent package to Texas
2/03/11 NOA1 received and file is at the Vermont Center.Case number assigned.
6/10/11 NOA2 received.Approved!!!
6/13/11 Hard copy of NOA2 received.
6/28/11 NVC case number received. Case sent to Paris.
7/18/2011 Packet 3 sent out
7/20/11 Packet 3 returned by certified mail
8/31/11 Interview (Approved with two pieces of paper needed)
9/29/11 Visa received.
10/03/11 POE Cincinnati (Thanks to Delta now Atlanta) 5 hours to pick her up is worth it.
10/15/11 Married
10/21/11 AOS documents filed
11/25/11 Biometrics appointment
11/18/11 transferred to CSC
12/24/11 EAD and Advance Parole combo card arrived.
03/13/12 Green card notice received. Welcome to the US. Take a deep breath for a few moments.
03/14/12 Green card received

07/14/2014 Packet for Removing conditions sent

02/10/14 Biometrics in Louisville KY

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Beautifully said and inspirational. It warmth my heart to hear of your faith, patience and maturity. Thanks for your support, for at this moment it is lifting my spirit up. God bless.

Joseph and I went through the K1 process 2 times. It was hard. He didn't have a computer and I have a job that only allows limited time off and travel to foreign countries has to be pre cleared. During our wait we dealt with the death of his father. We have been married over a year and still are adjusting to to life together and changes in our lives. but we are happy. You can find the thread I started titled "Happy Endings" which was started to counter the tales of fraud. There are a lot of tales of woe. Partly because the average USC doesn't understand the culture there and how there are some that will do everything to get to the US. But if you have taken the time to learn your spouse and the family you shouldn't be back telling that sort of tale.

I thank you for your words of wisdom and I will check out the Happy Endings thread! Thanks again.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Patience is the key in any relationship but especially in a long distance relationship with the visa process involved.

One of the things with a LDR is that if you want it to work you need to communicate. Its so easy to just not email/call/write/text etc when you are not invested in the relationship. It does help to get to know your SO more in that sense but you also miss the the actual being together and how things can be different. So many of us are so focused on getting our SO's here that we forget that making a life with another person who is also from a different culture takes so much more than just love.

Good luck to you.

AMEN TO THAT! Our differences makes us unique and being I am from Middle East myself, we have much too much in common as well. Thanks for your thoughts. I do miss him a great deal, but he is worth the wait.

I am relatively new here myself (only about two months), but my SO and I are older (I am almost 50). We both have learned from age and experience that the talking we do right now ( almost daily by Skype) will really help us live as we grow older. So the LDR is something we are using to create good bonds of talking, friendship and care for one another.

This is hard work, but as I say everyday to her "You are worth the wait."

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Learning to wait is part of growing up..

Good luck

Words of wisdom! I will cherish. Thanks

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

I agree with the others, definately patience and understanding. You really need to learn their culture and what is expected as a wife/ husband. I think alot of our personal issues come from cultural misunderstandings. But with time and being open to learning it gets better and definately worth it.

Oh, on a side note, since your other half is from Naija may I suggest you buy him his own set of pots and pans. It's not done until it's "burned" has real meaning. I dont think I have a unburned pot in my house left. :rofl: lmbo. :rofl:

K1 Journey:

Filed: 2009-01-12... USCIS Approved: 2009-06-05... 1st Interview/Admin Review: 2009-09-09...2nd Interview/Approved: 2010-01-27

AOS Journey:

Filed: 2010-05-20... Interview: 2010-11-30... Approved: 2010-12-03... Card Rcvd: 2010-12-18...

Whew! Done!.... Well, for the next two years anyway...

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

I agree with the others, definately patience and understanding. You really need to learn their culture and what is expected as a wife/ husband. I think alot of our personal issues come from cultural misunderstandings. But with time and being open to learning it gets better and definately worth it.

Oh, on a side note, since your other half is from Naija may I suggest you buy him his own set of pots and pans. It's not done until it's "burned" has real meaning. I dont think I have a unburned pot in my house left. :rofl: lmbo. :rofl:

:rofl: Na so na so!!!

November 5, 2010 Interview 7am APPROVED!!!!!! (6months 4weeks 1day) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

(look at my about me page in my profile if you want to see my entire k1 journey)

AOS Journey:

Feb.4, 2011 Mailed AOS packet

Feb. 7, 2011 Pkt delivered in Chicago

Feb. 10, 2011 Received txt and email of NOA for AOS, EAD, and AP

Feb. 11, 2011 Check cashed for AOS

Feb. 12, 2011 Touched

Feb. 14, 2011 received hard copy of NOA for AOS, EAD& AP

Feb. 18, 2011 received appt letter for biometrics

Feb. 28, 2011 biometrics appt @10am

Feb. 28, 2011 received txt/email AOS case transferred to csc

Mar 1, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 3, 2011 received hard copy of AOS transfer to csc

Mar 4, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 28, 2011 Received txt/email saying card production has been ordered. (1month 3eeks 3days)

Mar 28, 2011 Received 2nd txt/email saying we have registered this customer permanent residence status

Mar 29, 2011 Received 3rd txt/email says card production has been ordered.

April 1, 2011 greencard and welcome letter in hand!!

April 5, 2011 received txt/email EAD card production ordered

Will Start Removing Conditions Dec 2012!!!!

Dec. 26, 2012 mailed ROC paperwork

Dec. 28, 2012 NOA for ROC paperwork

Jan. 7, 2013 received bio appt letter

Jan. 24, 2013 bio appt.

June 22, 2013 10yr green card received

68z00wwuiyl.png

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Mali
Timeline

Joseph and I went through the K1 process 2 times. It was hard. He didn't have a computer and I have a job that only allows limited time off and travel to foreign countries has to be pre cleared. During our wait we dealt with the death of his father. We have been married over a year and still are adjusting to to life together and changes in our lives. but we are happy. You can find the thread I started titled "Happy Endings" which was started to counter the tales of fraud. There are a lot of tales of woe. Partly because the average USC doesn't understand the culture there and how there are some that will do everything to get to the US. But if you have taken the time to learn your spouse and the family you shouldn't be back telling that sort of tale.

I couldn't agree more with understanding the culture and the difficulties of not having modern technology in the process! I've been apart from my fiance for almost 6 months now and it has been difficult because he has no internet and didn't actually have regular cell phone service until last week (a new cell tower was built and it made me overjoyed!!!!). I think all of the difficulties of keeping a relationship together long distance will definitely make us stronger as a couple when we are reunited again. I also completely agree that understanding your fiance(e)'s culture is extremely important, I was lucky enough to live with him for a couple of years, which helps us talk about mutual friends, his family, things that happen around town and in his daily life. And I showed him pictures of my friends, and he met my parents, so I try to talk about my life in America for him to understand too. Communication is extremely important. Plus, he's seen me at my worst (i would get pretty sick while in Mali, plus emotional, not a good combo!!!!), so if we can handle each other then, we will definitely be able to handle each other in america!!! :innocent:

October 28 - NOA 1 received

November 5, 2010 - Touched

April 18, 2011 - NOA 2 received, finallllllly!!!!

April 26, 2011 - Got NVC Case Number

April 27, 2011 - NVC shipped case to Embassy in Dakar

June 7th, 2011 - Interview in Dakar- APPROVED!!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Now these are the kind of Naija threads I like. It brings me such happiness when the petitioner is doing what she can to understand her Naija man. Since most of the petitioners are USC it is very important that we make it our business to understand the Naija culture, to understand the role of a women in a marriage to a naija man and understand the role of a naija man in a marriage. The reality of it is there is really no difference because the good book (the bible) spells it out for us and if we follow that instruction our relationship shall endure all test and trials. That is my advice for individuals going throught the process and seeking a relationship with there SO. Now my husband (then Fiance) has been here since Nov 2010 and I have to say after all the waiting and all the paperwork, countless visits, so many phone calls and chats that I cant even count it was WELL WORTH IT!!! I believe the long distance put communication in the forefront because for that time that was everything our affection,intimacy,and attention. If we didnt communicate we had nothing. Now I was able to go and visit as often as I wanted so I was happy about that so I was there like every three months but the good bye was super hard the infamous wall (the one you walked behind in order to go through immigration when you were departing Lagos) that separated us in the Lagos airport made me mad everytime. I have made it my businees to understand not only my husband but Naija culture we speak pidgin to each other in the house about 90% of the time. We eat Naija food in the house about 75% of the time. I have also made it my business to understand what is expected out of a women married to Naija men and how if two nigerians were married would interact. This makes my understanding and my everyday life so much better so when there is a bump in the road which arent many because we understand each other I ask myself (wwanwd) what would a Naija woman do?........lol Anyway let me get off my soapbox my man is here and I am loving it and the LDR only made us stronger.... :star:

Edited by patient2010

November 5, 2010 Interview 7am APPROVED!!!!!! (6months 4weeks 1day) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

(look at my about me page in my profile if you want to see my entire k1 journey)

AOS Journey:

Feb.4, 2011 Mailed AOS packet

Feb. 7, 2011 Pkt delivered in Chicago

Feb. 10, 2011 Received txt and email of NOA for AOS, EAD, and AP

Feb. 11, 2011 Check cashed for AOS

Feb. 12, 2011 Touched

Feb. 14, 2011 received hard copy of NOA for AOS, EAD& AP

Feb. 18, 2011 received appt letter for biometrics

Feb. 28, 2011 biometrics appt @10am

Feb. 28, 2011 received txt/email AOS case transferred to csc

Mar 1, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 3, 2011 received hard copy of AOS transfer to csc

Mar 4, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 28, 2011 Received txt/email saying card production has been ordered. (1month 3eeks 3days)

Mar 28, 2011 Received 2nd txt/email saying we have registered this customer permanent residence status

Mar 29, 2011 Received 3rd txt/email says card production has been ordered.

April 1, 2011 greencard and welcome letter in hand!!

April 5, 2011 received txt/email EAD card production ordered

Will Start Removing Conditions Dec 2012!!!!

Dec. 26, 2012 mailed ROC paperwork

Dec. 28, 2012 NOA for ROC paperwork

Jan. 7, 2013 received bio appt letter

Jan. 24, 2013 bio appt.

June 22, 2013 10yr green card received

68z00wwuiyl.png

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

I agree with the others, definately patience and understanding. You really need to learn their culture and what is expected as a wife/ husband. I think alot of our personal issues come from cultural misunderstandings. But with time and being open to learning it gets better and definately worth it.

Oh, on a side note, since your other half is from Naija may I suggest you buy him his own set of pots and pans. It's not done until it's "burned" has real meaning. I dont think I have a unburned pot in my house left. :rofl: lmbo. :rofl:

LOL I will buy him his own pots and pans, thanks for the advice. I am humbled by the wonderful comments and suggestions posted. Also, I agree with you with time and patience and being open to learn about each other's cultures is definitely worth it. Thanks again. God bless.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nigeria
Timeline

Now these are the kind of Naija threads I like. It brings me such happiness when the petitioner is doing what she can to understand her Naija man. Since most of the petitioners are USC it is very important that we make it our business to understand the Naija culture, to understand the role of a women in a marriage to a naija man and understand the role of a naija man in a marriage. The reality of it is there is really no difference because the good book (the bible) spells it out for us and if we follow that instruction our relationship shall endure all test and trials. That is my advice for individuals going throught the process and seeking a relationship with there SO. Now my husband (then Fiance) has been here since Nov 2010 and I have to say after all the waiting and all the paperwork, countless visits, so many phone calls and chats that I cant even count it was WELL WORTH IT!!! I believe the long distance put communication in the forefront because for that time that was everything our affection,intimacy,and attention. If we didnt communicate we had nothing. Now I was able to go and visit as often as I wanted so I was happy about that so I was there like every three months but the good bye was super hard the infamous wall (the one you walked behind in order to go through immigration when you were departing Lagos) that separated us in the Lagos airport made me mad everytime. I have made it my businees to understand not only my husband but Naija culture we speak pidgin to each other in the house about 90% of the time. We eat Naija food in the house about 75% of the time. I have also made it my business to understand what is expected out of a women married to Naija men and how if two nigerians were married would interact. This makes my understanding and my everyday life so much better so when there is a bump in the road which arent many because we understand each other I ask myself (wwanwd) what would a Naija woman do?........lol Anyway let me get off my soapbox my man is here and I am loving it and the LDR only made us stronger.... :star:

WOW you brought tears to my eyes with your story. I thought about the topic as I was reading many subjects and comments on VJ and I wanted to get others input as to what they think and feel. I never expected to be blessed with such personal and positive response. I agree with you 100% each partner should learn about the other's culture and language. I myself speak three already, and as you know I am trying to learn pidgin too...( I have enrolled in our VJ class LOL) but seriously, I agree with each thought you shared for it is what I feel as well. In our case it has been very helpful to write emails and call each day regardless of what the day brings. I have not been as lucky where visiting him is concern, work and responsibilities are many, BUT I know that wall you are talking about too well at the Lagos Airport...I hated it as well. The goodbyes are very difficult..Thanks for giving me strength and for sharing your experience.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

WOW you brought tears to my eyes with your story. I thought about the topic as I was reading many subjects and comments on VJ and I wanted to get others input as to what they think and feel. I never expected to be blessed with such personal and positive response. I agree with you 100% each partner should learn about the other's culture and language. I myself speak three already, and as you know I am trying to learn pidgin too...( I have enrolled in our VJ class LOL) but seriously, I agree with each thought you shared for it is what I feel as well. In our case it has been very helpful to write emails and call each day regardless of what the day brings. I have not been as lucky where visiting him is concern, work and responsibilities are many, BUT I know that wall you are talking about too well at the Lagos Airport...I hated it as well. The goodbyes are very difficult..Thanks for giving me strength and for sharing your experience.

yes...I dey see u for class sha...... :D

November 5, 2010 Interview 7am APPROVED!!!!!! (6months 4weeks 1day) THANK YOU LORD!!!!!

(look at my about me page in my profile if you want to see my entire k1 journey)

AOS Journey:

Feb.4, 2011 Mailed AOS packet

Feb. 7, 2011 Pkt delivered in Chicago

Feb. 10, 2011 Received txt and email of NOA for AOS, EAD, and AP

Feb. 11, 2011 Check cashed for AOS

Feb. 12, 2011 Touched

Feb. 14, 2011 received hard copy of NOA for AOS, EAD& AP

Feb. 18, 2011 received appt letter for biometrics

Feb. 28, 2011 biometrics appt @10am

Feb. 28, 2011 received txt/email AOS case transferred to csc

Mar 1, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 3, 2011 received hard copy of AOS transfer to csc

Mar 4, 2011 AOS Touched

Mar 28, 2011 Received txt/email saying card production has been ordered. (1month 3eeks 3days)

Mar 28, 2011 Received 2nd txt/email saying we have registered this customer permanent residence status

Mar 29, 2011 Received 3rd txt/email says card production has been ordered.

April 1, 2011 greencard and welcome letter in hand!!

April 5, 2011 received txt/email EAD card production ordered

Will Start Removing Conditions Dec 2012!!!!

Dec. 26, 2012 mailed ROC paperwork

Dec. 28, 2012 NOA for ROC paperwork

Jan. 7, 2013 received bio appt letter

Jan. 24, 2013 bio appt.

June 22, 2013 10yr green card received

68z00wwuiyl.png

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