RUB Jokes

[SuperDuper! 230]

There are no wet blankets here.

It is insulting that you think you can post the question and get an answer to define what you can say and not say. But maybe you think Russians, Ukrainians and Belarussians are just simpletons that come with instructions from the MOB catalog?

Maybe if you live with one (or three), devote your life to one, live in their country for a few years, you would understand. Another good reason we HAVE different regional forums.

Now head on over to the UK forum and ask them exactly WHAT is so funny about Benny Hill.

Hi Gary, thanks for playing, but that is not what I am saying here.

So where is the line between humor and stereotyoing? Or is it the like the secret "N" word, club, where some can say it all day long with a free pass, and then whitey gets clobbered for saying it once?

Where do you stand? What crosses the line for you?

ps, please leave those Brits alone. They are just as fine of people as the RUB distinction. And Benny Hill Rocks!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I woke up one day to hysterical laughing coming from my wife. What was she laughing at?

The video posted above.

One of our favorites is the Mortal Kombat fight scene where the dude drops the manhole cover on his own arm. (1:15 or so) OUCH! -

I like this one too -

And more Mortal Kombat -

You just gotta love the FSU! A guy about as drunk as the tree fighting guy came up to Alla and her friend at the bus stop last May and offered to take them back to his flat for "hours of lovemaking" The ladies said that while it was a tempting offer they were on the way to the theatre and did not have time for proper lovemaking, maybe next time. Looking them straight in the eye, he unzipped and took out his love tool and showed them what they could have. For hours and hours, no less. They said it was one of the best of those things they had ever seen, but they had already bought their theatre tickets....

He staggered off punching trees or whatever and Alla' s friend said "Can you PLEASE find me an American man to marry?"

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Calling people pussies crosses the line. Good grief. Did you take a left at the Philippine forum or something?

Another outsider trying to save the world. How many times have they cried to a mod for the fact they came to the RUB forum and left with sand in their p*ssy ?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Another outsider trying to save the world. How many times have they cried to a mod for the fact they came to the RUB forum and left with sand in their p*ssy ?

Ouch!

I think they ought to go over to the MENA forum and practice. I heard they are very understanding and never take offense to anything. They even LIKE it when people come along and try to save them from Islam and stuff.

Remember the V-8 commercial? "I coulda had a V-8!" I think it is like that.

"I coulda had an FSU wife!"

And Canadians love it when you mention how so many Canadians flee Canada to get healthcare in the US and come here to shop to avoid the 15% sales tax. They are such a good natured bunch.

Anyway, enough about losers. Poor schmucks have to wake up next to a non-FSU woman everyday anyway. Wonder if they ever have a good day?

A guy is walking down the street in Moscow, turns his head and spits on the sidewalk.

The man walking behind him says "Hey! Stop that! This is no place to be talking about politics!"

[slim 1,514]

"I coulda had an FSU wife!"

It's not too late!

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Anyway, enough about losers. Poor schmucks have to wake up next to a non-FSU woman everyday anyway. Wonder if they ever have a good day?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IYeETAVsQA&feature=related

[slim 1,514]

Thanks for posting, Rebecca Jo. That was awesome!

[mckay76 11]

Thanks for posting, Rebecca Jo. That was awesome!

nothing beats the bride on her wedding day with the bloody nose

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Thanks for posting, Rebecca Jo. That was awesome!

Glad to be of service, slim!

nothing beats the bride on her wedding day with the bloody nose

...or on her 25th anniversary when she forgets to put on her stilletos!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

A party activist came to a factory and took a group of workers to the polling place on election day. When they got there, the activist handed each worker an envelope and told them to put them in the ballot box. While waiting in line one of the workers opened the envelope and looked inside.

"What are you doing???!!!!!" said the activist

"I was just curious to see who I am voting for" said the worker.

"Fool! It is a secret ballot!"

__________________________________________________________________

(very dated Brezhnev era joke)

In the year 2010 a young boy is speaking to his grandfather...

"Grandfather, what does it mean to stand in line?"

"Well, son, back in the old days, about 1975, there was not enough of some things, like meat, and we had to stand in line for hours to buy meat. Does that explain it to you?"

"Grandfather...what is meat?"

Edited February 7, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[SMR 368]

I woke up one day to hysterical laughing coming from my wife. What was she laughing at?

The video posted above.

One of our favorites is the Mortal Kombat fight scene where the dude drops the manhole cover on his own arm. (1:15 or so) OUCH! -

The hilarious thing about this is not that he drops the manhole cover on his arm, they are heavy after all. But he uncovers a manhole and immediately steps in it, on the very next step he takes. Memory problems?

[slim 1,514]

The hilarious thing about this is not that he drops the manhole cover on his arm, they are heavy after all. But he uncovers a manhole and immediately steps in it, on the very next step he takes. Memory problems?

Oh, like you've never picked up a manhole cover and immediately stepped into the hole. We've all been there, right?

"What happens in FSU...."

Edited February 7, 2011 by slim

[1HappyGuy 45]

We need to bring Reagan back.

After seeing the commercials for the Super Bowl, maybe we should send Nancy Reagan a bag of Doritos.

It seems that I opened a can of worms with the You tube jokes of Ronald Reagan. Surely there are other jokes or funny clips that don't involve drunk people.

[slim 1,514]

After seeing the commercials for the Super Bowl, maybe we should send Nancy Reagan a bag of Doritos.

Not a bad idea!

Although, if it makes grown men suck on other grown mens' fingers... I can't really support it.

Surely there are other jokes or funny clips that don't involve drunk people.

There are, but none are from FSU.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Oh, like you've never picked up a manhole cover and immediately stepped into the hole. We've all been there, right?

"What happens in FSU...."

In the US he could sue someone for that!

Edited February 8, 2011 by Gary and Alla