How do you cope?

[Onyx & Inari 0]

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

Edited January 21, 2011 by Onyx&Inari

[E&R4ever 6]

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

Well,

Just by doing exactly what you do is how I cope. Communications is very much the key factor for me. I am a bit stronger than my fiancee, but even with that nothing could be better than having her by my side next to me. So we communicate by being online, calling each other and planning our lives for the future we seek together. She also has her 2 teenagers that keep her company and my daughter of 24 does the same for me. A simple good morning call does wonders and whenever I get ready to leave to or from work I'll text or call her.

Set backs like the one I had today concerning my 129F not being received by Dallas Lockbox from USPS is just an example of what we face, but where there's a will there is a way! I will just work towards the solutions and I know that RFE's are not the end of the world just like this current lockbox incident. Patience and understanding that I can not do anything until whoever is working my 129F sends me feedback is how I plan to work through this. Atleast like I've told my fiancee, " now that we've submitted the 129F to USCIS the clock ( time) begins to tick away towards our favor getting us closer to being married with ours kids here in the good USA!" Before without even submitting the 129F we truely were on hold as far as that aspect in our lives. Well that's my attempt at coping Onyx&Inari, hopefully you could continue with your studies and very soon be back with your fiance!!

E&R4EVER

[* Kristin * 49]

My heart goes out to you - I can imagine how difficult it must be. (my fiance and I lived in different countries for the first yr of our relationship, but have lived together in the UK for the last few)

I know my fiance (he's British - so is the reason we're going through this process) is just trying to keep himself as busy as can be and not try to stress himself out over all the 'what if's'. I know he's really worried and just stressed out about the whole process... so my recommendation: keep doing what you're doing with Skype and keep busy.

Just out of curiosity, what kind of degree is it that won't be recognised in the US?

With your current course (I was foolish and signed up on one in September that's over a year long, which I won't be able to do) - personally, what I am doing is just going through with it up to the point that I have already paid for (February). It's a good distraction.. but unfortunately, I won't be able to complete is, as it's UK-only... perhaps see if your units can transfer!?

Not much help, but good luck...!

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

[Aztec&Taino 144]

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

I talk to my honey lots. I know what he does during the day and viceversa. I know what is going on in his life and he knows what is going on in mine. By doing this, it sort of feels as though we are "together," even though it is wintery and snowy cold here and over there is warm and the coconut trees sway with the breeze.

Dancing helps me lots. Of course, I love to dance and it is a great form of exercise and a de-stresser for me. I recommend you focus on the activities that usually help you deal with stress and establish goals for yourself, preferably goals that can be worked on the short term. Life must go on during these months of waiting...

Best wishes!

[Linha87 0]

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

I hear you there! I feel the same here... it is always hard to be far from who we love, and even harder to have our lives on hold! Everything here in Brazil takes a long time so due to this and another issues I quit my job (so you have an idea I quit in december and only two days ago the process was finished) I didn't want to have to wait only on this once we get our approval and I also had to put school on hold because the school semester here goes till july and plus like you said I won't be able to use the credits in the US. Some people may think it is unnecessary but I started doing psychotherapy and it has been helping me a lot controlling my anxiety and that "life on hold" feeling ... also my fiance is very supportive and we are always on skype or messaging each other during the day, but it is hard and sometimes you fall into routine...I try to keep myself busy going to visit friends, family and even sometimes going out with the girls for some drinks to relax and stress out! It is always good and we all need our own time! Also I started learning German online in a free website, why not to improve our skills?! And been catching up my reading too! But honestly, we are all only gonna really relax once we're on our beloved ones' arms! The best of luck for all of us!

[jpidgley 9]

ALC_H_L sometimes alcohol is the answer! im just kindding. for me it has been get as much overtime as possible, and then if my fiance isnt available to skype when im not working, i sleep. so im not awake thinking about being apart

[Barbara J 115]

Everything now seems so close, yet just that little bit too far away!

My Fiancee and I have now filed for our K-1, we put the package together in the first week of January off the back of a fantastic New Years in Las Vegas, and now we know what we plan to do over the coming years of my entry into the United States (Should and When they permit it).

So sat back in New Mexico, being over looked by a baby scorpion sat in the doorway we put our heads together and formed our plan. It's perfect, and straight forward; Get married in front of a Judge; File for my change in status; get driving; get bank accounts set up; start work; back to school (Since the US won't accept my UK degree); Then have the big family wedding/blessing!

However! I have hit a brick wall, I have a week now until I go back to work in the UK, sat here without the love of my life, with not alot to do. I had recently started a second degree with the Open University, but the path I chose involves Exams and another 3 modules once I finish the current one - but since I need to go back to school in the US do I continue with my OU course - It will take me another 18 Months to finish maybe longer!

Silly thing really, but that's my dilemma, I've usually been so strong with things, but being apart tears me apart as I live in a city with no Family and very few trust worthy friends.

We practically leave SKYPE on 24/7 when we are apart, but I'm just wishing this process would move faster - How do you guys do it? To say "keep busy" is easy when you don't know what people are going through - but you guys do know - well at least your foreign partners do.

So a question to the beneficiaries out there... How do you cope?

It's not easy is all I can say. We were apart for the duration but I suppose the luckiest thing I had was I was able to come and visit while our petition was being processed. I was here just under 3 months and then went back to Australia and got approved 3 days later. I was only back for 8 weeks and then I was able to come home and get married. The longest part for us was between Nov 2009 to March 2010. We used Yahoo all the time and I would have the pc on and when he got home from work he would get on straight away to say hello and I would ring him in the morning before he went to work. It is difficult but the light at the end is amazing knowing you can come here get married and never be apart again. The best feeling ever. I was lucky I had my daughters to keep me busy and he had his work. SO just keep positive and know that it will all happen and you will be together. Just talk every day so you can hear each others voices and cam when you can.

[TwoCats 55]

There is a sort of oddity when it comes to myself and my fiance'. He sees things in the long term. That in less than a year we'll be together and then we won't have to be apart for the rest of our lives. Me? I'm much more the day-to-day person. I suppose I try to pass the time on here. I lurk the January filers thread (see links below in my signature if you'd like to join us for support) and try to keep my brain occupied elsewhere.

We spend every evening on Skype, talking until he has to go to bed. We play video games, listen to books on tape together, but right now we've only been apart about three and a half weeks (he left in early January). How hard it's going to be down the line, I have no idea. We go back and forth discussing me coming to visit him, but nothing is certain, and financially we can't afford it until late spring/early summer. I try not to think about it, mostly.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Oh, bless your heart. I am much much stronger than my fiance when it comes to being apart from each other. He is so nervous about the process and it really beats him up being apart. It beats me up, too, but I have a very optimistic outlook on life in general. He is much more of a "realist" than I am, I guess and so he is much stronger than me when it comes to not allowing folks to take advantage, etc. He is a protector, he is. But, it's hard when you feel helpless for their anxiety.

But I can tell you what works like a charm...PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ONLINE!! I know that sounds geeky and nerdy and consequently is not how we met, but boy does it make the wait so much more bearable. There is a teamwork, protection, alliance in this that gives you this wonderful psychological thrill. Plus flirt! flirt flirt flirt flirt flirt! Send lots of pictures, of you, of your surroundings. Start a blog and write!!! Write about each other, about life, about what's going on. Keep yourselves very involved with one another. Give each other something to look forward to when you wake up beyond skype, texts and phone calls. Write looooooooong blogs, diaries. Something to look forward to every day when they / you wake up.

It's about psychological peace and staying busy. Giving your mind positive, lovey and happy things to focus on. Of course, we're human, it gets hard. We get frustrated, we vent and get angry. But at the end of the day, you WILL be with the one you love. All of this is just making it happen, isn't it?

Good luck to you and yours

xo.

Edited January 21, 2011 by DiZZyLoX

[Maleman 5]

It would be great that both of you could be strong. The waiting period is difficult, but your love for one another is stronger. In looking back, after you get your visa, you will then realize love is worth waiting for and the pain will then subside. In my wife’s case she was a contact worker outside of her home country. Thus, at some point she had to make the decision to give up her job and move back home. Not only had we been in limbo at the start of the K-1 filling, again we were in an indeterminate state once we received the NOA2. Getting a job would have been difficult for her, because in the transitional term we were waiting on her visa! Then during her medical exam she got held up for (3) months! So, I can apply empathy to your situation. My recommendation is to stay happy and keep your future spouse as happy as possible for now. Remember, and this too shall pass. Here is the good news; luck has nothing to with it! (Smile)

[iampatricias 17]

My guy and I are having a tough time, like everyone else. I think he's probably suffering more than I am, feeling lonely now and trying to be strong and encouraging and telling me to go to bed after we've only chatted 20 minutes because I have to be up early...

The last two months or so were pretty emotionally dreary for me, and we decided we could afford for me to join a gym and get a personal trainer, because I used to be pretty active but long work hours have left me feeling sluggish and mopey. Somehow, working out with a trainer, and trying to get to the gym even when I don't have a session scheduled has made me more energetic, and just generally less like... apathetic about everything else (surprise, surprise). On top of that, it's a short-term goal (12 weeks of training should take us through to within a month of this mysteriously scheduled interview), and it's making me feel stronger, healthier, and prettier for our long-awaited honeymoon!

It's a small thing, (and kind of pricey!), but I don't feel as defeatist and like, "hate my life" as I used to, so that's something!

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Yeah! Work out! Get sexy!!! Time always feel like it's running out when you're getting your sexy work out on and you're on a time limit. That's another thing I'm doing! Buns of steel! hehe.

[Onyx & Inari 0]

PLAYING VIDEO GAMES ONLINE!! I know that sounds geeky and nerdy and consequently is not how we met,

Ironically, It was how Inari and I met! We stopped playing to get on with the task at hand, and well life. I do like to play computer games while I have time, but I feel MMO's are unhealthy unless your at total peace with your mind.

It's hard to explain, but sometimes MMO's can really steal your soul!

I'm usually the calm one in our relationship, I'm the one who puts things into perspective, and likes to plan - I guess being unable to plan like I want maybe a factor. Not to mention the worry us beneficiaries go though, considering once we have decided to make the big move we have to wait for people in cheap suits to tell us when we can start to move on and build a life with our fiance(e)'s.

Part of me thinks a retitle of this tread, I dunno? Just airing out feelings albeit on a web board seems to lift a weight, quite a substantial weight when you have little or no people around to talk to most of the time.

Edited January 21, 2011 by Onyx&Inari

[Onyx & Inari 0]

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Edited January 21, 2011 by Onyx&Inari

[TheFantastics09 19]

At first it was hard, but I could deal with it a lot better. Now that we are actually in the process of seeing each other (K-1, instead of just dating with no firm plans for our future), it is even harder. Not to mention I am also having to go back to school because my College diploma isn't worth anything in the states. And I am a very independent person and don't like the idea of being completely financially dependent on someone else. I keep trying to hold on to the idea that this will be over soon. One year of waiting is so worth a lifetime with each other

Edited January 21, 2011 by TheFantastics09