Men! Did you know you can buy a bride?

[Fandango 1,439]

wondered that myself... found this...

http://www.doubleton...ionary/spinner/

Yeah, I found that too, but decided to ask for clarification. It seems hard to believe that a married man would talk so disgustingly about women, specifically women from his wife's own country. It's hard to believe someone could be so disrespectful.

[thongd4me 69]

If being a mail-order bride is not the ticket...

[kennym 275]

Right, because you know for a fact that I haven't? Do you know whether or not I myself am of Russian or Colombian descent? And iyo, how many Russians or Colombians does one need to meet in order to be qualified to have an opinion? 1? 5? 10,000?

What an ignorant thing to say.

You've met what? A handful of women, let's even say 100...and that makes you an expert on everyone in Russia and Columbia? The final word on all things Colombian/Russian/etc because you have yourself a Colombian wife?

It's not a stupid thing to say, it's been called 'mail order brides' since before I was alive - it reflects the practice has been done from even before the internet. It's not a new concept.

And FYI, I wasn't specifically referring to you in the first place. If you find my views not relevant to your situation, why even take it personally? Because you took umbrage at what I said is perhaps more telling than you may want. *shrug*

Must make you feel superior to categorize all women from developing counries as mail order brides only interested in a green card.. Unfortunately for society, you can have an opinion as long as you realize it's unqualified and based on absolutely no knowledge or experience in the matter...

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Actually, there's some truth to it. How else to explain why so many middle-aged, weight challenged men are able to find these young, slender, model-looking wives? Money talks. It's no different from the wealthy men who get trophy wives here in the states, except that these guys looking for foreign brides aren't rich by U.S. standards. The do appear wealthy to a lot of these girls, especially ones coming from Developing countries.

Who cares? Seems like a win-win to me. Though I didn't meet my wife by some internet agency, I don't think it is a bad thing of you do. I have a hot wife, she has a devoted husband, father and secure home and more opportunites for herself and children. Where is the downside?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Agreed, but I think the harm comes from the USC thinking the gc/money had nothing to do with it. If they were honest with themselves, those in that situation would at least see their situations for what they really are.

In what marriage is no one supposed to get anything? People get married for various perceived or real advantages. So what? I get a hot wife, she gets a green card and citizenship next year. OK, Deal!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I read the Phillipines Woman make better Mail Order brides than Russians or Columbians..

I hadn't read that. I could be biased.

[kennym 275]

I hadn't read that. I could be biased.

[Fandango 1,439]

Must make you feel superior to categorize all women from developing counries as mail order brides only interested in a green card.. Unfortunately for society, you can have an opinion as long as you realize it's unqualified and based on absolutely no knowledge or experience in the matter...

Nowhere on this board have I ever categorized all women as doing/being anything. II have never claimed that 'all foreign women are in it for the gc' that's just silly.

In fact, it's those that do (ie Filipinos are this, Russians are that, etc) that make my skin crawl. In fact, you're sat here speaking on behalf of all Colombians/Russians because of your relationship.

If your relationship is legit and based on love and all that jazz, great...but just because yours is good doesn't mean any woman from anywhere is on the level. Don't be ridiculous.

In what marriage is no one supposed to get anything? People get married for various perceived or real advantages. So what? I get a hot wife, she gets a green card and citizenship next year. OK, Deal!

I agree with you actually. And I think it's healthy that you look at it that way...that was my initial point.

Edited January 17, 2011 by Lisa C

[tallcoolone 102]

I am not sure what a Mail Order bride is... Can you actually order a bride from a catalog?

For Sure, and you can get a Virgin also.

Edited January 17, 2011 by tallcoolone

[Ban Hammer 12,857]

So what was the dowry for Matt Laurer's great, great, great grandmother?

And why is the Shallow Hal mindset so prominent?

who cares?

[kennym 275]

Nowhere on this board have I ever categorized all women as doing/being anything. II have never claimed that 'all foreign women are in it for the gc' that's just silly.

In fact, it's those that do (ie Filipinos are this, Russians are that, etc) that make my skin crawl. In fact, you're sat here speaking on behalf of all Colombians/Russians because of your relationship.

If your relationship is legit and based on love and all that jazz, great...but just because yours is good doesn't mean any woman from anywhere is on the level. Don't be ridiculous.

By the way, I was in Colombia due to a project with my job, so, I met my wife by chance and not through one of the agencies... This was such a awesome opportunity to travel and see diferent countries, I jumped at the opportunity.. I was really not a stranger to foriegn travel since as a child my family lived in many diferent places such as France, Italy, Japan, Okinawa, Germany. But as an adult, I had not travelled much until I lost my job in early 2000s. I had the fortune of joining a company which sent me many places.. But my experiences in Colombia were the most memorable..

Listen, My point is, many Americans, men & women, feel that the men are scumbags and women are fortune hunters and the "love and devotion part", is not a factor in relationships with woman from developing countries, the women only want to be rescued from thier Misery.. In the case of Colombia, that is not in anyway accurate assesment.. Colombia is a beautiful country despite what most people hear. The people are rich in culture and they're absolutely friendly with everyone who visits... The woman are very proud of their country and don't dream of leaving. But they also find themselves lacking of guys willing to commit to them, so the women find that they're often gonna need to look beyond the borders for a relationship with someone who's gonna be commited to them.. I know Colombian Woman who've married and lived in other countries as well such as Italy, Germany, Australia, Greece.. It's not simply the US..

You're not alone in your feelings..

Many of my close personal friends were absolutely convinced when they heared I was engaged to a woman from Colombia and especially after they saw her photos, that she was only interested in the GC.. Although they kept quiet about it (Not all of them did), I knew how they felt, and then later, after meeting Maritza, shared their thoughts about it.. My close friends all told me that they were initially concerned about her intentions, but those concerns were quickly put to rest 10 seconds after they finally met her..

The mistake Americans make is that they apply American values and culture to thier thoughts and ideas about people and behaivior from other countries.. This misconception happens to the ones passing judgement on the couples as well as the Guys themselves who go to Colombia. It took me a long time to stop doing that, but I still do it sometimes,, The fact is, that many cultures don't think like Americans when it comes to family, relationships and careers, etc.. But as Americans, were soo conditioned to think a certain way, that it's next to impossible to beleive a beautiful woman from another country could have any interest in a overwieght middle aged man.. Thats a huge thing to learn.. And men, who cant relearn this one common error in judgement, will have huge troubles in thier relationship.. But, many relationships with women in Colombia, fail because of this one huge problem.. It results in the Man constantly questioning his girlfriend.. "Why are you with me agian?" But, they're with you because of genuine reasons, and it drives a huge wedge between the guys and their girlfriend... We Americans make this kind of mistake in other areas as well when it comes to attempting to understand forriegn countries and it's the reason we likely feel that all woman from Colombia, Russia, Ukraine or any other country are scamming the guys for money and greencards.

In my time in Colombia, I became good friends with many men and women there.. I learned a lot about the culture and the people.. I was absolutely taken by the people and the way they warmed up to me, that I would have moved there permanently if I could have.. But, I asked a lot of questions about why this and that and got frank answers.. Some days, while my Fiancee was off taking care of her things, I would travel into Medellin to a part of town called El Poblado. I met many USC that came to Colombia, to find a girlfriend.. It was actually very common to walk down the street in one particular area and see Americans there since it was kind of the touristy part with lots of shops and restuarants.. I did see some guys who clearly were trying to score, but those guys often ended up quiet disappointed, because one thing about colombian woman, the good ones aint "easy", and the one that are, those are the ones to stay away from... But as a rule, they can see right though the "players", and many Women, stayed cleared of those guys.. But, I met many who did find a girlfriend which eventually developed into a serious relationship and they eventually married and immigrated to the US.. I keep in touch with many of them still today..

Also, VJ has been a good place for that as well..

This past Christmas, My wife and I drove to Los Angeles and spent time with 4 other couples who's wives are from Colombia, and found that everyone of them appear to be happy and seem to have strong relationships and work together to resolve issues quiet well... and although they encountered the struggles most women do who leave their families, friends and everything they know behind, they made it through those struggles... My wife, recently arrived and she's feeling the sadness now of being away from everything she grew up with.. We were expecting that, and she's finding ways to deal with it. What was clear from meeting all those fellow VJ'rs and thier families, is that those women weren't looking for a GC, they were looking for someone who loved them and they found that someone from another country.. These relationships, like all others, have thier struggles..

But the main point here, is None of them felt like they were bought, or owned.. That's my point is the notion you can buy anything related to love other than a prostitute.. I would dare anyone to come up to any of these women and tell them they were prostitutes... ..

My experience prior to dating Maritza was that, the dates, my first "wife", after my first wife, now those are the ones that were the worst of my life. and my experience with Yahoo and Match.com and e-harmony, what a joke.. Never in a million years has there been such a joke as those websites..

I agree with you actually. And I think it's healthy that you look at it that way...that was my initial point.

No that wasn't what you initially said... (See Below) I think the harm comes from "Harm" does not equate to healthy...

Agreed, but I think the harm comes from the USC thinking the gc/money had nothing to do with it. If they were honest with themselves, those in that situation would at least see their situations for what they really are.

[Fandango 1,439]

By the way, I was in Colombia due to a project with my job, so, I met my wife by chance and not through one of the agencies... This was such a awesome opportunity to travel and see diferent countries, I jumped at the opportunity.. I was really not a stranger to foriegn travel since as a child my family lived in many diferent places such as France, Italy, Japan, Okinawa, Germany. But as an adult, I had not travelled much until I lost my job in early 2000s. I had the fortune of joining a company which sent me many places.. But my experiences in Colombia were the most memorable..

Listen, My point is, many Americans, men & women, feel that the men are scumbags and women are fortune hunters and the "love and devotion part", is not a factor in relationships with woman from developing countries, the women only want to be rescued from thier Misery.. In the case of Colombia, that is not in anyway accurate assesment.. Colombia is a beautiful country despite what most people hear. The people are rich in culture and they're absolutely friendly with everyone who visits... The woman are very proud of their country and don't dream of leaving. But they also find themselves lacking of guys willing to commit to them, so the women find that they're often gonna need to look beyond the borders for a relationship with someone who's gonna be commited to them.. I know Colombian Woman who've married and lived in other countries as well such as Italy, Germany, Australia, Greece.. It's not simply the US..

You're not alone in your feelings..

Many of my close personal friends were absolutely convinced when they heared I was engaged to a woman from Colombia and especially after they saw her photos, that she was only interested in the GC.. Although they kept quiet about it (Not all of them did), I knew how they felt, and then later, after meeting Maritza, shared their thoughts about it.. My close friends all told me that they were initially concerned about her intentions, but those concerns were quickly put to rest 10 seconds after they finally met her..

The mistake Americans make is that they apply American values and culture to thier thoughts and ideas about people and behaivior from other countries.. This misconception happens to the ones passing judgement on the couples as well as the Guys themselves who go to Colombia. It took me a long time to stop doing that, but I still do it sometimes,, The fact is, that many cultures don't think like Americans when it comes to family, relationships and careers, etc.. But as Americans, were soo conditioned to think a certain way, that it's next to impossible to beleive a beautiful woman from another country could have any interest in a overwieght middle aged man.. Thats a huge thing to learn.. And men, who cant relearn this one common error in judgement, will have huge troubles in thier relationship.. But, many relationships with women in Colombia, fail because of this one huge problem.. It results in the Man constantly questioning his girlfriend.. "Why are you with me agian?" But, they're with you because of genuine reasons, and it drives a huge wedge between the guys and their girlfriend... We Americans make this kind of mistake in other areas as well when it comes to attempting to understand forriegn countries and it's the reason we likely feel that all woman from Colombia, Russia, Ukraine or any other country are scamming the guys for money and greencards.

In my time in Colombia, I became good friends with many men and women there.. I learned a lot about the culture and the people.. I was absolutely taken by the people and the way they warmed up to me, that I would have moved there permanently if I could have.. But, I asked a lot of questions about why this and that and got frank answers.. Some days, while my Fiancee was off taking care of her things, I would travel into Medellin to a part of town called El Poblado. I met many USC that came to Colombia, to find a girlfriend.. It was actually very common to walk down the street in one particular area and see Americans there since it was kind of the touristy part with lots of shops and restuarants.. I did see some guys who clearly were trying to score, but those guys often ended up quiet disappointed, because one thing about colombian woman, the good ones aint "easy", and the one that are, those are the ones to stay away from... But as a rule, they can see right though the "players", and many Women, stayed cleared of those guys.. But, I met many who did find a girlfriend which eventually developed into a serious relationship and they eventually married and immigrated to the US.. I keep in touch with many of them still today..

Also, VJ has been a good place for that as well..

This past Christmas, My wife and I drove to Los Angeles and spent time with 4 other couples who's wives are from Colombia, and found that everyone of them appear to be happy and seem to have strong relationships and work together to resolve issues quiet well... and although they encountered the struggles most women do who leave their families, friends and everything they know behind, they made it through those struggles... My wife, recently arrived and she's feeling the sadness now of being away from everything she grew up with.. We were expecting that, and she's finding ways to deal with it. What was clear from meeting all those fellow VJ'rs and thier families, is that those women weren't looking for a GC, they were looking for someone who loved them and they found that someone from another country.. These relationships, like all others, have thier struggles..

But the main point here, is None of them felt like they were bought, or owned.. That's my point is the notion you can buy anything related to love other than a prostitute.. I would dare anyone to come up to any of these women and tell them they were prostitutes... ..

My experience prior to dating Maritza was that, the dates, my first "wife", after my first wife, now those are the ones that were the worst of my life. and my experience with Yahoo and Match.com and e-harmony, what a joke.. Never in a million years has there been such a joke as those websites..

No that wasn't what you initially said... (See Below) I think the harm comes from "Harm" does not equate to healthy...

My feelings of what, exactly? I never once called men scumbags or women fortune hunters. I never said that love is not a factor in all foreign-domestic relationships. What I said is that to those in relationships where the GC was a factor, I find it harmful if the USC doesn't recognize it, thus possibly getting blindsided. But it's funny that you accuse me of generalizing relationships, yet you speak on behalf of all Colombian women. I find that many US men with foreign brides on VJ do this all the time, and I find it most curious. Speak for your wife, sure...not her whole nationality of women.

I've mentioned your penchant for generalizing in every post I've written to you, yet you never address it. Or your questioning me on how many Colombians *I* know in order to validate my opinion.

Your overgeneralizations of 'American men' and 'foreign women' is so strange. I am married to an American man. That doesn't make me qualified to speak on behalf of all American men. And I'll tell ya this: he wasn't the first one I dated...and in my experience, the men I have dated have been as different from each other as night from day. Furthermore, as an American female, I can't even say I'm qualified to speak on behalf of ALL American women, as we are also different and similar in varied ways.

What I also find most odd is your need to defend all foreign/domestic relationships. Some foreign nationals get married to USCs for greencards. End of story. Some USCs get used. This is a fact not up for debate. Some relationships even WORK even with the give/take...as Gary & Alla pointed out...there's nothing wrong with each side benefiting from a marriage. (USCIS doesn't even require 'love' to be a factor in a relationship, but that's for another topic) What i said was the harm comes from those relationships where it WAS a factor, and the USC isn't aware. Can you really dispute that?

As to your whole harm/healthy nitpicking, it's too silly for words. So is the whole 'buy/ownership' aspect to your argument. You're being pedantic for whatever reason. Whether my post touched a nerve, I don't know. You don't need to justify your relationship to anyone...I'm happy that your friends love her, she's 'proven' herself to you, you got one of the 'good ones', etc. No one here claimed that foreign women are 'bought', are chattel, etc. Steven already explained to you it's a figure of speech, yet you feel the need to springboard off my posts to get on your soapbox.

Your relationship had nothing to do with a GC, we all get it. Stop feeling the need to justify it, no one's challenging that.

[Ban Hammer 12,857]

[tallcoolone 102]

Yeah, I found that too, but decided to ask for clarification. It seems hard to believe that a married man would talk so disgustingly about women, specifically women from his wife's own country. It's hard to believe someone could be so disrespectful.

I dig spinners from any country, It just seems like Asia seems to have many of them. I like a woman to be petite, around 100 lbs, Pants size btw 0 and 3, Shirt size of small, Asia has many while in the USA those type are few and far between.

What I find disgusting is a woman who lets herself goes and becomes a lardass, they get so huge you couldn't get a hula hoop around them.........

[kennym 275]

My feelings of what, exactly? I never once called men scumbags or women fortune hunters.

I know you're having trouble with reading, I never said you did, And I could quote you again.. but it's not the point..

The point is: (let me remind you of the topic which came from the today show)

Did you know you can buy a bride?

I was trying to get a conversation going about the notion that women can be purchased, and the underlying idea that these women are hunting for a green card... (You specifically said that) but seriously, I'm not attacking you.. This is only about the idea that these women can be bought.. I have said that many times...

Are you having fun arguing with yourself?

If you wathced the video, and read the title of my original link, you'll see some genuine women and a guy responding to Matt Laurer on the Today show..

You said that the harm is that we don't believe that the green card has nothing to do with it.. I felt that's the point.. In some cases it may, but in most cases, I would say it's not...

Sooo, back to the topic.. please.. or not.. this is fun too...

Kenny