Inappropriate or not?

[Merlion@ 0]

I went out with my husband to celebrate the New Year's Eve. I am originally from Romania and so are the people I'll be talking about except for my husband. I wanted to feel the traditions and booked the night at a restaurant that caters to the people from my counry. We got sitted next to a Canadian (married?) couple who came to vistit the area for one week. They were from back home like the 99% of the (people attending. My husband started to have a conversation in French with this lady (needless to say I understand French, but I don't speak it) and we conversated My husband and I danced for a while at which point this lady came to dance...being at the same table by husband thought it was okay to include her in the dance. I was 50/50 about it -- he tends to be more social than I am and we tend to get excited about different things. So, basically I did not like him including her so openly. He had both of us by hand as we were going in circles to to speak and dancing on a pupular song. For a moment he let my hand go and danced with her, but then came back to dance with me. Her husband was sitting there not dancing, just looking. I wanted to include him, but felt it was not my place. Just before we left this lady went to the bathroom and I wanted to get out of there before she returned -- yet she came back.

I had to play the 'politically correct' card and say that it was nice to meet them blah blah...they came with us outside at which point she kissed by husband on both cheeks just before living. She gave me her e-mail and phone from their hotels in case we wanted to meet again. Her husbnad also kissed me, but I felt she was kind of going for my husband and over did it by kissing him. He says she did that b/c that's the tradition and kissing good-bye is what people do. I, for, one, disagree. I don't know where he got that from, but I barely kiss any males, much less make tyhe first step myself. I said I was pissed that he spoke to her in French, but then he said I also spoke in my language with everyone -- which I thought it was normal since e everyone else at the table and in the restaurant were from my country. Everyone also spoke English.

Do you think I am right to be upset or am I overreacting? In my book, her behavior was uncalled for and O'm angry at him b/c I feel he encouraged it. I'm not saying is cheating, but inappropriate. What does everyone think? i have not spoken to him for the past 3 days other than ask for an explanation. he said he's sorry but i'm still not satisfied.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Alla would bite me until I was dead. In my sleep.

[^_^ 5,021]

You're overreacting.

[chri'stina 190]

I kinda agree about you overreacting and I am very modest about this stuff. I don't know what kind of dancing you mean but if it was just like going around in a circle like you mentioned, and not weird dancing, then I think it's an overreaction. The kissing on cheeks thing too, it's common in some countries.

[Merlion@ 0]

I kinda agree about you overreacting and I am very modest about this stuff. I don't know what kind of dancing you mean but if it was just like going around in a circle like you mentioned, and not weird dancing, then I think it's an overreaction. The kissing on cheeks thing too, it's common in some countries.

It threw me off. It may have been the French influence on her, but still...Three days later and I'm still upset. I had enough problems to begin with. I would hate for this to be the thing that leads to divorce.

[^_^ 5,021]

I would hate for this to be the thing that leads to divorce.

If something this trivial has you this upset, I suggest counseling. There are probably other unresolved issues here that you should address either through medication or otherwise.

[Ban Hammer 13,395]

You're overreacting.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/9955-am-i-overreacting/

i think they ran into a swinging couple.

[scandal 951]

i have not spoken to him for the past 3 days other than ask for an explanation. he said he's sorry but i'm still not satisfied.

Do you love your husband? Do you want to have a long standing mature relationship with him?

Then cut out this silent treatment stuff. That's for kids. Adults talk through their issues, they don't use silent treatment.

My Ex did that for years when she got angry about stupid ####### like this. She's my Ex. That's not uncorrelated.

If you feel angry, that's fine. You have the right to your emotional response. But don't expect anything to get better in your relationships if you won't talk to the people you are upset with.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

If something this trivial has you this upset, I suggest counseling. There are probably other unresolved issues here that you should address either through medication or otherwise.

[Merlion@ 0]

If something this trivial has you this upset, I suggest counseling. There are probably other unresolved issues here that you should address either through medication or otherwise.

Yes, well he says he's sorry and if he knew I would get that upset and bothered, he would have not gone to the party to begin with. He did say he's sorry, but I can't get over it. I think I have trust issues.

Edited January 4, 2011 by Merlion@

[^_^ 5,021]

I think I have trust issues.

If I was married to a woman with trust issues, I'd cheat on her every chance I got (which would probably be quite infrequent but I digress). You know why? Because she wouldn't trust me even if I was faithful. If I'm going to be treated like a cheater, I might as well actually be one.

[chri'stina 190]

It threw me off. It may have been the French influence on her, but still...Three days later and I'm still upset. I had enough problems to begin with. I would hate for this to be the thing that leads to divorce.

I think you should relax about it. Me and my husband don't even go out dancing so I am not all pro "hey husband dance with another woman", but in the circumstance you mentioned: he did not invite her over, you were still there, her husband was there, it was a popular song, and they are French Canadian. This situation alone shouldn't lead to divorce. I'm guessing there has to be other issues.

If I was married to a woman with trust issues, I'd cheat on her every chance I got (which would probably be quite infrequent but I digress). You know why? Because she wouldn't trust me even if I was faithful. If I'm going to be treated like a cheater, I might as well actually be one.

That's insane sounding. lol. Why not just divorce her and then do whatever you want? Have some integrity, man.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

If I was married to a woman with trust issues, I'd cheat on her every chance I got (which would probably be quite infrequent but I digress). You know why? Because she wouldn't trust me even if I was faithful. If I'm going to be treated like a cheater, I might as well actually be one.

If I spit anything else on this computer you're buying me a new one. :lol:

[Minya's wife 25]

You're overreacting.

x2

Majority of the people from that part of the world kiss on both cheeks as a greeting and good-bye, so I see nothing inappropriate in that. You said she and her husband kissed both of you...so it does not seem like she singled your husband out. The whole dancing thing...from what you described, I'm thinking you were dancing some sort of hora, which requires everyone holding hands...nothing inappropriate about that. Her husband sitting and not dancing...well maybe he doesn't know/like to dance. My husband and I went to a wedding not long ago, and my husband injured his back on the day of the event...so he sat at the table and while I danced, with friends, both male and female. It was a party and my husband wanted me to enjoy it as much as possible. Same thing goes here...you were at a 'party' and it should have been something enjoyable. I'm sorry you don't see it that way. The worst is that in the aftermath, with not speaking to him you're creating a bigger bouhaha than necessary. He's offered an explanation and apologized to you (though, given what you're recounted, I don't see anything he needs to apologize for) what else are you wanting from him?

[Ban Hammer 13,395]

I think you should relax about it. Me and my husband don't even go out dancing so I am not all pro "hey husband dance with another woman", but in the circumstance you mentioned: he did not invite her over, you were still there, her husband was there, it was a popular song, and they are French Canadian. This situation alone shouldn't lead to divorce. I'm guessing there has to be other issues.

if they were regular canadians, then can that lead to divorce?