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The 5 Stupidest Questions People Ask The Butterball Turkey Hotline

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Filed: Other Country: Canada
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Ladies don't tell people where to insert things. Therefore.... BOING!

763px-Crossroads_baker_explosion.jpg

She was talking about suppositories, silly, what did you think she meant?

IR5

2007-07-27 – Case complete at NVC waiting on the world or at least MTL.

2007-12-19 - INTERVIEW AT MTL, SPLIT DECISION.

2007-12-24-Mom's I-551 arrives, Pop's still in purgatory (AP)

2008-03-11-AP all done, Pop is approved!!!!

tumblr_lme0c1CoS21qe0eclo1_r6_500.gif

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Egypt
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REAL Ladies don't tell people where to insert things. Therefore.... BOING!

763px-Crossroads_baker_explosion.jpg

Awww, that is so sweet calling me The Bomb. I'm so flattered you consider me attractive. You really know how to treat a lady.

Don't just open your mouth and prove yourself a fool....put it in writing.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out, the uglier everything seems.

kodasmall3.jpg

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
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My best hyskool buddy routinely spent every Thanksgiving cowering under the furniture in abject fear for his life, si man.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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How about "Can the butter ball be used for shooting hoops after Thanksgiving is over?"

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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If you've ever wondered why companies like Butterball have a Turkey Talk-Line to help people cook a bird that, in theory, shouldn't require all that much effort, here are some examples why.

A Reuters editor talked to the call-fielders at Butterball and came back with these head-scratching gems:

*Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?

*Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?

*Can I use my oven's self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?

*If I cut my turkey with a chainsaw will the oil affect the taste?

*Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?

If you need to know the answers to any of these, then you should probably call the Butterball line... or order in for Thanksgiving.

http://consumerist.com/2010/11/the-5-stupidest-questions-people-ask-the-butterball-turkey-hotline.html

answers in order

- only if you like the taste of soap for your thanksgiving meal.

- no, not unless you want to buy a new washer soon.

- only if you want to start a fire

- yes

- no, there's enough turkeys in there already

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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answers in order

- only if you like the taste of soap for your thanksgiving meal.

- no, not unless you want to buy a new washer soon.

- only if you want to start a fire

- yes

- no, there's enough turkeys in there already

Fidel Castro's take on Thanksgiving:

"Give me a turkey sandwich with a live turkey!"

- was a reference to the quote "Give me a chicken sandwich with a live chicken."

Mostly the reaction was "what was this idiot trying to say?" but I think the

true interpretation was that on his first controversial visit to New York to

speak at the UN, Fidel was anxious that someone might try to poison him

and if his food could be prepared using a "live" chicken that he knew was

healthy and not killed by giving it poison, he would be able to rest more easily.

offtopic45vn.gif and now for judge "Chickenetti"

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cf3_1185784585

02/2003 - Met

08/24/09 I-129F; 09/02 NOA1; 10/14 NOA2; 11/24 interview; 11/30 K-1 VISA (92 d); 12/29 POE 12/31/09 Marriage

03/29/-04/06/10 - AOS sent/rcd; 04/13 NOA1; AOS 2 NBC

04/14 $1010 cashed; 04/19 NOA1

04/28 Biom.

06/16 EAD/AP

06/24 Infops; AP mail

06/28 EAD mail; travel 2 BKK; return 07/17

07/20/10 interview, 4d. b4 I-129F anniv. APPROVAL!*

08/02/10 GC

08/09/10 SSN

2012-05-16 Lifting Cond. - I-751 sent

2012-06-27 Biom,

2013-01-10 7 Mo, 2 Wks. & 5 days - 10 Yr. PR Card (no interview)

*2013-04-22 Apply for citizenship (if she desires at that time) 90 days prior to 3yr anniversary of P. Residence

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