Please Help

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Just keep loving her and give her the room she needs and this will likely pass. Flowers just because are always a nice suprise. Even better a "honey get your best dress on we are going out for a nice dinner". Really anything to just show her affection, to help her get over this. Going back for a visit and having to leave everyone behind is bound to be tough.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

I agree with everyone who said just be there for her - but let her KNOW you are there for her - in case she thinks YOU stopped talking to HER too - let her know you will leave her alone if she WANTS that - but you are also 'cuddle-city' if she needs it. SOmetimes its enough to know the other person is willing to be whatever you need when you feel down - sometimes it says 'I love you' more than words can.

Maybe get someone to write it IN RUSSIAN for her to read in anote - the effort you go to with that might make her feel happy that you went the extra mile to let her know; maybe also plan something she can look forward to that has an American-Russian theme - but I think you are wise to swallow your own hurt (after all she's not doing this 'to you' - its just how she feels right now) and just be her rock.

Best of luck to you both

[noblehero 0]

Two points I would like to make: (if I could presume to be so forward).

1. I understand you would spend the 40k and more all over again...but the fact that you mentioned it shows you have an attitude (even if only in your subconscious) that is not correct, and you need some internal work. And don't ever mention this fact to her, it would kill her.

2. You need to recognize that the language barrier you two have is a brutal hardship...and it will destroy your relationship if it is not defeated. Couples can, and do overcome this hardship, but it takes extreme hard work. And until the work is done, she will be suffering (and you, and your kids). (And in my opinion, it's too late to ask her to do the hard work alone. She needs to make English aquisition a supreme priority in her life, and (iin my humble opinion) you should make Russian aquisition a supreme priority in your own.

Linguistically speaking, you two live on opposite sides of a mountain. If she goes to work tunneling from the other side toward you, you can't very well sit there and not tunnel toward her as well. I speak from experience, and even though the tunnels will never meet (you have to dig all the way through, and so does she) it becomes a labor of love, a joint venture, and when you've reached the other side you have something precious, precious beyond belief.

Roll up your sleeves man. The fact that she is willing to undertake this, shows she has a heart worth fighting for.

[KarenCee 3]

Two points I would like to make: (if I could presume to be so forward).

1. I understand you would spend the 40k and more all over again...but the fact that you mentioned it shows you have an attitude (even if only in your subconscious) that is not correct, and you need some internal work. And don't ever mention this fact to her, it would kill her.

2. You need to recognize that the language barrier you two have is a brutal hardship...and it will destroy your relationship if it is not defeated. Couples can, and do overcome this hardship, but it takes extreme hard work. And until the work is done, she will be suffering (and you, and your kids). (And in my opinion, it's too late to ask her to do the hard work alone. She needs to make English aquisition a supreme priority in her life, and (iin my humble opinion) you should make Russian aquisition a supreme priority in your own.

Linguistically speaking, you two live on opposite sides of a mountain. If she goes to work tunneling from the other side toward you, you can't very well sit there and not tunnel toward her as well. I speak from experience, and even though the tunnels will never meet (you have to dig all the way through, and so does she) it becomes a labor of love, a joint venture, and when you've reached the other side you have something precious, precious beyond belief.

Roll up your sleeves man. The fact that she is willing to undertake this, shows she has a heart worth fighting for.

Very well said.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Two points I would like to make: (if I could presume to be so forward).

1. I understand you would spend the 40k and more all over again...but the fact that you mentioned it shows you have an attitude (even if only in your subconscious) that is not correct, and you need some internal work. And don't ever mention this fact to her, it would kill her.

2. You need to recognize that the language barrier you two have is a brutal hardship...and it will destroy your relationship if it is not defeated. Couples can, and do overcome this hardship, but it takes extreme hard work. And until the work is done, she will be suffering (and you, and your kids). (And in my opinion, it's too late to ask her to do the hard work alone. She needs to make English aquisition a supreme priority in her life, and (iin my humble opinion) you should make Russian aquisition a supreme priority in your own.

Linguistically speaking, you two live on opposite sides of a mountain. If she goes to work tunneling from the other side toward you, you can't very well sit there and not tunnel toward her as well. I speak from experience, and even though the tunnels will never meet (you have to dig all the way through, and so does she) it becomes a labor of love, a joint venture, and when you've reached the other side you have something precious, precious beyond belief.

Roll up your sleeves man. The fact that she is willing to undertake this, shows she has a heart worth fighting for.

Very well said.

[Peil 1]

Larry,

Heres an idea...you spent 40k on her, now spend another $329 on this for her.

http://www.rosettastone.com/en/individuals...ages/english-us

Then spend another $329 on yourself for this

http://www.rosettastone.com/en/individuals/languages/russian

You can also buy pirated copies on ebay for about 1/3 the price if you are a cheapskate and dont mind pirated copies

Each of you do 2 hours a day (2 lessons) and within 3 months maybe you 2 can have a conversation.

My fiancee speaks excellent english, but im still learning her language just because i love her and I know it will mean alot to her for me to do this.

Learn the russian alphabet first...It should only take maybe 3 or 4 hours to memorize the letters and sounds and to be able to read russian

http://www.languagehelpers.com/Russian/The...anAlphabet.html

http://higbee.net/russian/index.html

[VetsWife328 7]

Larry I really hope your wife will get to feeling better!

I had the opposite happen to me when I came back from Oregon in February after having spent 3 weeeks with my man there.

We got an apartment and furniture there together ,went and bought a car and then I had to go back to Germany.

And felt like a stranger at my own house, in my "hometown" and among my friends.........

it took me 2 1/2 MONTHS to go back to normal here........

I take it your wife is a "little older" (not trying to be ,mean but if she has Grandchildren she can't be in her 20ies or 30ies.).

I believe the more time you have had in your Home Country,and the more ties you have there,naturally the more you'll be "hurt" when you go to visit your Country and loved ones and have to leave again.No matter how happy you might be with your Spouse in the USA.

Give her some time and show her you understand how she's feeling.

Get her to do some stuff,like going out.

And try to get in touch with some Russian women her age,invite them over.Let them craete a support group (for lack of better word).Like a Russian Evening once a months,with their food and music,maybe even their traditional clothing......Just things that'll show her that she's not alone and that she can still kinda live her Russian personality/ heritage.

Good Luck and all the best for you two!!!!!!!!!

Nat

[lynny 0]

Larry she is very homesick and to be honest there is proberly not alot you can do to comfort her right now, She needs her space to sort her feelings out, but be assured she obviously loves you very much or she would not of returned from Russia

Just be yourself and treat her just how have always treated her, and when she is ready she will communicate with you

Once she is back to feeling more secure and happy , then take her out for a nice meal etc

Lynny

[kpathak 0]

Larry -- I think you are doing the right thing by being concerned and trying to communicate with her. Learning Russian will certainly help you in the long run -- keep trying to talk to her using whatever medium you have been and things will settle down in a bit. Keep us posted as to what happens after "10 days", OK?

Cheers,

KP

[caagirl 0]

Just keep doing I am sure everything you are doing for her is not going unnotice.... Good Luck in everything