Legal wedding and then a church wedding

[AlinaH 38]

So my fiance and I are Christian and it's important to us that we have a church wedding before we consider ourselves married...ie. having sex. Since I really want to have my church wedding at my home in Canada, we are planning on having our legal wedding in the states, living at his parents together, not as a married couple, and then as soon as I get my green card we can go back up to Canada and have a church wedding, at which point we will actually consider ourselves married. I know this seems backwards, but its the only way we could come up with to have our wedding in Canada and still fullfill our Christian beliefs.

My question is, is this going to be a problem at the AOS interview? We will be living in the same household, will most likely open joint bank accounts and credit cards, have a legal wedding certificate, and will already have committed to being with each other forever. We just wont be sleeping in the same bed and will be having a second wedding after I get my greencard.

I plan on being completely honest, providing plans for our wedding in Canada, if asked, and probably letters from our pastor explaining the importance of a church wedding, etc.

Thoughts/advice?

[nickbits 43]

My personal opinion is that it could be an issue since the marriage would not be consummated but I am not an expert by any means. I believe "Was the marriage consummated?" is a possible question they will ask.

[Anh map 2,098]

Once you are married in the US (or anywhere else for that matter) you're married. If you are having another ceremony/party elsewhere it won't matter to the USCIS.

[damulag 26]

What was wrong with having the wedding in Canada and then applying for a Cr1 visa?

Once you are married legally in the United States then the Canadian wedding would only be a "renewal of vowels" in the eyes of the USCIS, no need to tell them at the AOS or K1 interview. When you go to remove conditions you can submitt pictures of your "renewal ceremony" as evidence of a sustaining relationship.

[AlinaH 38]

What was wrong with having the wedding in Canada and then applying for a Cr1 visa?

Once you are married legally in the United States then the Canadian wedding would only be a "renewal of vowels" in the eyes of the USCIS, no need to tell them at the AOS or K1 interview. When you go to remove conditions you can submitt pictures of your "renewal ceremony" as evidence of a sustaining relationship.

We didn't want to get married and then stay apart while the CR1 visa was being processed.

i guess my question is, if they ask what side of the bed my spouse sleeps on and i don't know because we aren't sleeping together, will they consider our marriage valid?

[damulag 26]

Just ask him what side he sleeps on and leave it at that and make sure you know each others answer. Unless your other supporting documentation is lacking or week and your answers to other questions are not matching up it is highly unlikely they will delve into your sleeping/sexual arrangements. I believe the whole question about consumating your marriage is asked when there is a proxy wedding.

[AlinaH 38]

Just ask him what side he sleeps on and leave it at that and make sure you know each others answer. Unless your other supporting documentation is lacking or week and your answers to other questions are not matching up it is highly unlikely they will delve into your sleeping/sexual arrangements. I believe the whole question about consumating your marriage is asked when there is a proxy wedding.

That was my original plan, but then I decided that "pretending" we were sleeping together was deceitful and could potentially cause more problems. I want to do this the right way and decided telling the truth was the thing to do.

And sorry, but what do you mean by a proxy wedding...I'm just not familiar with that term.

[damulag 26]

The question is "what side of the bed does he sleep on?" and you answer truthfully "he sleeps on x side" they did not ask how you know what side of the bed or if you are sleeping together so you are not being decietfull.

A proxy marriage occures when one person is not present and has a "stand in". The US will not allow this for immigration purposes without the couple being together after the proxy wedding.

[Ryan H 3,888]

That was my original plan, but then I decided that "pretending" we were sleeping together was deceitful and could potentially

You are making the right call by being truthful. The truth is always easier to remember. Furthermore, it is implied that you two would be sharing a bed if a USCIS official asked the question what side of the bed do you sleep on, what side of the bed does he sleep on.

When you go for the AOS interview, they may ask you about sharing a bed, sleeping together, etc. When you answer honestly, you both will want to have the letter from your pastor like you mentioned because you will get the 'why' follow up question if the initial question is asked. However, the pastor's letter may not guarantee that a USCIS adjudicator will consider your marriage bonafide.

I respect you both for wanting to follow your Christian beliefs. However, just be prepared for complications by wanting to do it this way. With that being said, I hope you have no issues or complications.

Edited October 5, 2010 by Ryan H

[Anh map 2,098]

So my fiance and I are Christian and it's important to us that we have a church wedding before we consider ourselves married...ie. having sex. Since I really want to have my church wedding at my home in Canada, we are planning on having our legal wedding in the states, living at his parents together, not as a married couple, and then as soon as I get my green card we can go back up to Canada and have a church wedding, at which point we will actually consider ourselves married. I know this seems backwards, but its the only way we could come up with to have our wedding in Canada and still fullfill our Christian beliefs.

My question is, is this going to be a problem at the AOS interview? We will be living in the same household, will most likely open joint bank accounts and credit cards, have a legal wedding certificate, and will already have committed to being with each other forever. We just wont be sleeping in the same bed and will be having a second wedding after I get my greencard.

I plan on being completely honest, providing plans for our wedding in Canada, if asked, and probably letters from our pastor explaining the importance of a church wedding, etc.

Thoughts/advice?

If your plan is to have the ceremony in Canada after you get your green card that means you will have successfully adjusted status. Things such as comingling finances, adding the spouse to health insurance policy, auto insurance, joint memberships, joint accounts, joint tax filings, etc. are very important. It shouldn't be "most likely." You two should plan accordingly.

In the eyes of the adjudicating officer you are a married couple. They will expect to see the typical evidence of a newly married couple. If you aren't prepared to live as a married couple ( aside from the sleeping arrangements) then the K1 may not be the right step.

Don't set yourselves up for frustration or failure.

Edited October 5, 2010 by Anh map

[Tim and Erin 3]

In my opinion...If you are married, it will be assumed that you're sleeping together. I think you're worrying for no reason. It's not likely they'll ask you that question.

[Nik+Heather 122]

They didn't ask us any such titillating questions in our AOS interview. All business, show evidence of co-mingling of lives & finances (CCs, bank accts, insurance etc), co-habitation (address on DL's & such), etc. Some pictures. Many K-1s do the legal marriage then take time to do a full ceremony later, so it shouldn't be a surprise to them that you are planning the ceremony at a later date. You're not going to get a Stokes interview on the initial visit (that's where they separate you and ask questions like "who woke up first this morning"), and the questions are designed to ensure that you can't just "share" answers before hand.

Just keep in mind the separation between church and state here. The AOS process is a LEGAL process. And you are LEGALLY married (which is what makes you eligible at all). So they'll say, "When did you get married" and you'll say "xyz date" which is the one on your LEGAL marriage certificate. Don't make it needlessly complicated, because it is NOT complicated.

[Rito 28]

I plan on being completely honest, providing plans for our wedding in Canada, if asked, and probably letters from our pastor explaining the importance of a church wedding, etc.

Thoughts/advice?

We did about the same thing with a crazy Vegas "legal" wedding and a real family wedding coming up in the future, and we told them that. The interviewer didn't mind or seem to think that was unusual.

Of course we were having sex for years before marriage. Sex won't come up in a normal interview, anyway.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

A solution AlinaH.

Since you will want to attend a church in CA, check with the county where that church is located about the licence. Usually, counties will accept the signature of authorised ordained clergy as official--and it will combine both.

If you wish to involve your "home" church in Canada anyway, an avenue I will suggest is to have a fancy engagement/betrothal there.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Saddle Bronc

[J&N* 68]

on waiting til your church wedding.

Why don't you have a tiny wedding at a church in the US, then go back to Canada, have a big wedding, and let your pastor kinda *renew* your vows?