Cancelling visa application

[BelleSade 3]

My fiancé and I have decided that getting married right now wouldn't be good because we're incredibly broke (getting the AOS would've left us with about $100), I'm still at uni and I live in a place where getting a job at McDonald's even is near impossible... We're still together but have decided to wait a few years to marry.

I've already received the NOA1 and NOA2, in fact he was just getting his documents ready to send them to the embassy for his interview. Is there anything we need to do to notify we will not be pursuing the visa any more?

[Dodi 69]

If you don't turn in your paperwork for Packet 3, and do not pursue the visa from here on out, your approved I-129F will expire on its own and you will simply need to refile a new one at a later time when you are ready.

[Aztec&Taino 144]

My fiancé and I have decided that getting married right now wouldn't be good because we're incredibly broke (getting the AOS would've left us with about $100), I'm still at uni and I live in a place where getting a job at McDonald's even is near impossible... We're still together but have decided to wait a few years to marry.

I've already received the NOA1 and NOA2, in fact he was just getting his documents ready to send them to the embassy for his interview. Is there anything we need to do to notify we will not be pursuing the visa any more?

I'm sorry to hear this... Wouldn't you be better off together and broke than apart and broke though? Maybe I am a romantic, but I think that I would rather do near the impossible to be with my loved one, even if we had to survive on Ramen Noodles and Spam to make ends meet... Whatever decision you take, I wish you good luck.

[Shenzhen 34]

My fiancé and I have decided that getting married right now wouldn't be good because we're incredibly broke (getting the AOS would've left us with about $100), I'm still at uni and I live in a place where getting a job at McDonald's even is near impossible... We're still together but have decided to wait a few years to marry.

I've already received the NOA1 and NOA2, in fact he was just getting his documents ready to send them to the embassy for his interview. Is there anything we need to do to notify we will not be pursuing the visa any more?

I think I would rather be with my S.O. than apart. The other poster I think is right do what ever you can don't delay the process. Most people are going nuts apart and you want to delay it. My god I have been waiting 7 months and it's driving me nuts. I don't know your story, if it's true love why would you not want to be together?

Edited September 25, 2010 by Shenzhen

[BelleSade 3]

I think I would rather be with my S.O. than apart. The other poster I think is right do what ever you can don't delay the process. Most people are going nuts apart and you want to delay it. My god I have been waiting 7 months and it's driving me nuts. I don't know your story, if it's true love why would you not want to be together?

Because literally we'd have no place to live in or even enough to live off cheap food. We'd have to live with my parents and they've said they don't want that for more than two weeks. I'm afraid it'd put too much strain on the marriage. I didn't want to come to this and it's driving me insane but unless we win the lotto I don't know how else to do it. I only earn about $1,000 a year.

[baron555 934]

Because literally we'd have no place to live in or even enough to live off cheap food. We'd have to live with my parents and they've said they don't want that for more than two weeks. I'm afraid it'd put too much strain on the marriage. I didn't want to come to this and it's driving me insane but unless we win the lotto I don't know how else to do it. I only earn about $1,000 a year.

Finances and money are very important aspects of a successful relationship. You are being very mature placing a high regard for those and your future lives together. Your relationship will only grow stronger due to these hardships and then when you are both ready to tackle the future together, you will.

Some folks just listen to their hearts and then find themselves at wit's end and their relationship suffers. Stay the course, you'll get through it.

[BelleSade 3]

Finances and money are very important aspects of a successful relationship. You are being very mature placing a high regard for those and your future lives together. Your relationship will only grow stronger due to these hardships and then when you are both ready to tackle the future together, you will.

Some folks just listen to their hearts and then find themselves at wit's end and their relationship suffers. Stay the course, you'll get through it.

Thank you. This made my day :-)

[Robert and Amy 1]

$1000 per year you could make that mowing lawns. If you want to be together you will find a way to get work and money. You have made it this far in the process and you are going to give up now???? If I could be in your position in the process I would not let the lack of employment or lack of money stop me. You need to dig in and finish what you started or you may regret this decision for a long time. If you cant find a job then make your own. Not trying to be rude but know if there is a will you can find a way. The question is how bad do you want this?

Robert

[twowls 217]

Um, this person has made her own decision. She just asked how to cancel the visa for the time being. It's not an advice column and your telling her she's doing the wrong thing isn't helping.

[baron555 934]

The question is how bad do you want this?

Robert

It's obvious....they want it bad enough and more and most importantly, they want to do everything they can to make it a successful and forever relationship.....so they are thinking with their upper heads and understanding there is more than physical attraction to living together as a couple, forever. They are making a very brave (and probably very smart decision for their circumstance) decision.

Many others should take them as an example. They are thinking about all.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My fiancé and I have decided that getting married right now wouldn't be good because we're incredibly broke (getting the AOS would've left us with about $100), I'm still at uni and I live in a place where getting a job at McDonald's even is near impossible... We're still together but have decided to wait a few years to marry.

I've already received the NOA1 and NOA2, in fact he was just getting his documents ready to send them to the embassy for his interview. Is there anything we need to do to notify we will not be pursuing the visa any more?

No. If you do not go for the interview, the approved peition will die of old age in about 4 months.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

$1000 per year you could make that mowing lawns. If you want to be together you will find a way to get work and money. You have made it this far in the process and you are going to give up now???? If I could be in your position in the process I would not let the lack of employment or lack of money stop me. You need to dig in and finish what you started or you may regret this decision for a long time. If you cant find a job then make your own. Not trying to be rude but know if there is a will you can find a way. The question is how bad do you want this?

Robert

Grown ups who want things do not need to be told how to make $1000 per year. These two grown ups made a grown up decision not to get married right now. Probably a good one.

[Fandango 1,439]

I think this is an exceptionally mature decision on the part of the OP and her fiance. I am really shocked by some of the responses here. To act as if money doesn't matter at all is just oddness at its finest. Many act as if getting the foreign SO here is the end of the road, when in reality, it's just the beginning of a very long road....one which money DOES matter.

As great as love is, it doesn't pay the bills...and platitudes like 'oh we'd live on spam' is great in theory, but not in reality.

OP, as everyone said...if you let the petition just lapse, it'll die of old age. Good luck to you two in everything, and I hope to see you back here again when you refile

Edited September 26, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[PurpleSky 19]

The OP has her answer regarding how to "cancel" the visa application.

I think what the others are saying in a roundabout way is to make sure that they (OP & fiance) have considered what waiting will do to their finances versus getting it over with now. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with the costs of everything and think giving up for the time being is going to save us. What may seem like saving money right now may not be saving in the long run. The questions that came up for me reading this were:

1- Were these financial obstacles thought about before paying the filing fee for the petition? If so, how were they thought to be overcome at that time and why has it changed?

2- Has the OP considered that maintaining the international relationship over a few years may very likely cost more plus the added cost of filing for her fiance (or spouse if they decide to get married)?

3- Is there no way that the fiance can do odd jobs and save the money in preparation for his life here?

4- Does the OP's university have "marriage housing"?

5- Since the OP's parents would want them out after about two weeks would they be willing to co-sign for an apartment (even a studio apartment) for them?

I know for me, these questions came up because I was in a similar position. I'm in school right now and I was only do odd jobs/trying to get my home daycare business up and running when I realized that 1- I didn't make enough self employed to get my fiance here without a co-sponsor, 2- we had no savings at all, 3- I loved him too much to continue to be away from him 4- I did the math and it would cost MORE to continue this relationship until I got out of school and was working steadily in my field. So what I ended up doing was getting two part time jobs around my school schedule then miraculously, a good full time job came up. They were even willing to work around my school schedule. FH is doing odd jobs and saving the money from those jobs. When he gets ready to come over here, he'll sell many of his things and send all the money over here through Western Union so he'll be able to have his own money even if it's just a little because of the exchange rate. We've talked about this and decided that we are committed to putting in this hard work from the beginning of our lives together. (I'm by no means saying that you guys haven't thought about this...I'm just telling you what my FH and I have said).

I totally understand what you're going through. I would just hate to see you give up because things look cloudy for the moment. If you've considered the above questions and they just don't work for you, well then you gave it your best shot. I just pray that you've thought everything through. This is certainly NOT the end of the road, it's just the beginning but it also doesn't ALWAYS make the most sense to start over completely. This is a very difficult decision. I wish the two of you the best of luck.

[twowls 217]

The OP has her answer regarding how to "cancel" the visa application.

I think what the others are saying in a roundabout way is to make sure that they (OP & fiance) have considered what waiting will do to their finances versus getting it over with now. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with the costs of everything and think giving up for the time being is going to save us. What may seem like saving money right now may not be saving in the long run. The questions that came up for me reading this were:

1- Were these financial obstacles thought about before paying the filing fee for the petition? If so, how were they thought to be overcome at that time and why has it changed?

2- Has the OP considered that maintaining the international relationship over a few years may very likely cost more plus the added cost of filing for her fiance (or spouse if they decide to get married)?

3- Is there no way that the fiance can do odd jobs and save the money in preparation for his life here?

4- Does the OP's university have "marriage housing"?

5- Since the OP's parents would want them out after about two weeks would they be willing to co-sign for an apartment (even a studio apartment) for them?

I know for me, these questions came up because I was in a similar position. I'm in school right now and I was only do odd jobs/trying to get my home daycare business up and running when I realized that 1- I didn't make enough self employed to get my fiance here without a co-sponsor, 2- we had no savings at all, 3- I loved him too much to continue to be away from him 4- I did the math and it would cost MORE to continue this relationship until I got out of school and was working steadily in my field. So what I ended up doing was getting two part time jobs around my school schedule then miraculously, a good full time job came up. They were even willing to work around my school schedule. FH is doing odd jobs and saving the money from those jobs. When he gets ready to come over here, he'll sell many of his things and send all the money over here through Western Union so he'll be able to have his own money even if it's just a little because of the exchange rate. We've talked about this and decided that we are committed to putting in this hard work from the beginning of our lives together. (I'm by no means saying that you guys haven't thought about this...I'm just telling you what my FH and I have said).

I totally understand what you're going through. I would just hate to see you give up because things look cloudy for the moment. If you've considered the above questions and they just don't work for you, well then you gave it your best shot. I just pray that you've thought everything through. This is certainly NOT the end of the road, it's just the beginning but it also doesn't ALWAYS make the most sense to start over completely. This is a very difficult decision. I wish the two of you the best of luck.

Your post is perfectly well-intentioned, but my issue is this assumption that the OP hasn't already thought deeply about her situation and come by grueling, difficult work to the decision that's best for her and her partner. For many of us who were totally ready to be with our significant others, that was the only consideration, and 6 months felt like a lifetime. But it isn't a lifetime, and the OP can restart the process anytime she's ready. Time is relative and the K1 process isn't actually as difficult as it seems.