Citizenship: thinking of joining the military, advice

[wannastay 0]

Hello all,

i moved here from my home country to get married to my us citizen wife. she was very good to me but i made a mess of it all due to my issues. i have been depressed for as long as i can remember and have had problems with alcohol as a result. this has not only ruined my marriage but also my relationship with family and friends - this had made me even more depressed!

my wife filled for divorce recently. We have been married 1 1/2 year and i have had my GC for about a year. I recently found out im losing my job. i have absolutely no savings (unfortunately i let my wife control all the finances and i never seem to know what she does with it). I do not have any friends or family here so when we do finally get divorced and i move out i will essentially be homeless, her dad co-signed on my car so i will also lose that! im very worried, i cannot go back to my home country as i do not have any family there anymore and i would not get work there either (the employment rate is very bad there).

i have been thinking of ways to remain in the country, i think i might be able to get some work and find a place of my own, im not so sure. i will file for the conditions to be removed and maybe get the 10 year GC. but the fact i wont have a job and also the fact i have been arrested (for public intoxication) i do not think i will get the 10year card.

lately i have been so worried about all this i have no one to turn to and no one to talk to, im so depressed and i think about suicide all the time. i have taught about ways to stay, what do to, then i saw a news report about the "green card army" which is non us citizens with a GC that have enlisted in the military. this is something i want to do now, i think i need something out of my life and maybe i will get my citizenship out of it and return back to the us to a better economic climate and the prospects of a better job.

i plan on speaking with a recruiter soon, i have begged my manager to try to find me another area to work in but i dont think it will happen so i will speak to a recruiter.

i guess i just wrote this to get your feedback and maybe advice and if someone has done this then please tell

thanks

[dluke77 9]

Couple things. First you have your "conditional resident" green card (2 yr card) and you cannot file for your "permenant residence" (10 yr card) without her signature and usually an interview to show marriage is still valid and was entered into in good faith. You can file on your own if there is documented proof of abuse by her towards you and if you can prove you entered the marriage in good faith.

I am military and was in recruiting for 6 years; but things do change. Last I knew, you need to be a "permenant resident" of the US to enlist in the military. You would have to have your 10 yr card before you could enlist. Which based on the above you may have difficulty in getting to begin with. The benefit of joining the service for non-citizens with permanent residency status is that basically 1 day on active duty enables them to apply for their citizenship. There is talk of changing the law to allow even illegal immigrants to join the military to give them a fast track to residency and subsequent citizenship. But those changes have not been implemented yet.

As far as thoughts of suicide... please by whatever means necessary -- you need to talk to a professional right away... your going through a rough experience right now in your marriage, new culture/country, and alcohol (I know personaly) only makes matters in our head exagerated and inhibits our ability to reason and execute reasonable actions overcome tough times.

[idaho_and_surigao 3]

Couple things. First you have your "conditional resident" green card (2 yr card) and you cannot file for your "permenant residence" (10 yr card) without her signature and usually an interview to show marriage is still valid and was entered into in good faith. You can file on your own if there is documented proof of abuse by her towards you and if you can prove you entered the marriage in good faith.

I am military and was in recruiting for 6 years; but things do change. Last I knew, you need to be a "permenant resident" of the US to enlist in the military. You would have to have your 10 yr card before you could enlist. Which based on the above you may have difficulty in getting to begin with. The benefit of joining the service for non-citizens with permanent residency status is that basically 1 day on active duty enables them to apply for their citizenship. There is talk of changing the law to allow even illegal immigrants to join the military to give them a fast track to residency and subsequent citizenship. But those changes have not been implemented yet.

As far as thoughts of suicide... please by whatever means necessary -- you need to talk to a professional right away... your going through a rough experience right now in your marriage, new culture/country, and alcohol (I know personaly) only makes matters in our head exagerated and inhibits our ability to reason and execute reasonable actions overcome tough times.

Great Post Dluke. Wannastay, I will reiterate, If you are thinking of harming yourself get some help, even if you walk to the nearest police station and tell them...they will get you the help you need. Things are never quite as bad as they seem, I have had my own issues in the past, and I can appreciate where you are coming from. As dluke says, you are at a very stressful crossroads in your life, and at times these issues/problems can seem overwhelming. But trust me, the world is better place with you in it.

As far as I know, the military still requires one to be permanent resident to enlist. I would seriously consider delaying your enlistment until things stabilize a bit in your life. I was in the army for 4 years, and I can say that basic training and AIT can be very stressful. Also, think about the reasons you are interested in the Military. The Military is not everyone's cup of tea. I wish you best of luck!

[milimelo 4,498]

Couple things. First you have your "conditional resident" green card (2 yr card) and you cannot file for your "permenant residence" (10 yr card) without her signature and usually an interview to show marriage is still valid and was entered into in good faith. You can file on your own if there is documented proof of abuse by her towards you and if you can prove you entered the marriage in good faith.

I am military and was in recruiting for 6 years; but things do change. Last I knew, you need to be a "permenant resident" of the US to enlist in the military. You would have to have your 10 yr card before you could enlist. Which based on the above you may have difficulty in getting to begin with. The benefit of joining the service for non-citizens with permanent residency status is that basically 1 day on active duty enables them to apply for their citizenship. There is talk of changing the law to allow even illegal immigrants to join the military to give them a fast track to residency and subsequent citizenship. But those changes have not been implemented yet.

As far as thoughts of suicide... please by whatever means necessary -- you need to talk to a professional right away... your going through a rough experience right now in your marriage, new culture/country, and alcohol (I know personaly) only makes matters in our head exagerated and inhibits our ability to reason and execute reasonable actions overcome tough times.

Bolded part is WRONG - he can file with a divorce waiver - it will be all the same evidence as a regular ROC filing but he will need to tick the box that he is filing based on good faith marriage that ended in divorce. Whenever he receives a divorce decree he can send the paperwork in, or, if he is in the 90 days before the GC expires he can send it in without a divorce decree and will get an RFE and this will give him time (80 days?) to provide the necessary divorce decree. In the meantime he will have a NOA1 extending his status for a year.

In most cases the I-751 filers with divorce waivers WERE NOT called in for an interview and their ROC was approved.

[DoneWaiting 15]

One of the most critical areas you should be contemplating is your emotional and mental health rather than worrying about your GC. Without a healthy life, you won’t be able to overcome the other issues generated due to facts mentioned above.

Seek for professional help, your comments of taking your life away are typical calls of need and attention [no disrespect in any way], but the thoughts do not cover the fact that professional help is necessary. Perhaps, a fast assistance could help you and put you back in track and God knows, help you gain back what you are losing..

Best of luck and will keep you in my prayers.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

but the fact i wont have a job and also the fact i have been arrested (for public intoxication) i do not think i will get the 10year card.

This will not bar you from getting a 10 yr GC. (She is still on the hook for your 864 (you could possibly sue for support))

You can file for your own removal of conditions - and you do not need to show "abuse" or anything like that.

After you get the divorce finalized - you can file for ROC as soon as you have the paperwork - you would have to show that the marriage was entered in good faith.

[wannastay 0]

thank you for your posts - to be honest im not seeking attention, in fact i have bottled this up for a very long time and this is probably why im in this situation.

ok from your knowledge of filling with a decree and all the necessary proof - do i have a cahnce to get it without a job and with this arrest on my record.

@ Bobby+Umit - i just saw your post, thanks

Edited June 23, 2010 by wannastay

[idaho_and_surigao 3]

thank you for your posts - to be honest im not seeking attention, in fact i have bottled this up for a very long time and this is probably why im in this situation.

ok from your knowledge of filling with a decree and all the necessary proof - do i have a cahnce to get it without a job and with this arrest on my record.

@ Bobby+Umit - i just saw your post, thanks

It will most likely depend on the type of job/employer that you are trying to get. I dont know what State you were convicted in, but most States treat public intoxication as a misdemeanor. (where I live this is ticket, no court appearance necessary) Just be honest and straight forward on your job application (if it asks) and explain in detail the crime. I dont know that a misdemeanor conviction will affect your immigration status, perhaps others can answer. Again, honesty is always the best policy. Admit your mistakes, learn from them, and go on. Best of luck

[wannastay 0]

it is in texas, i will attend court soon, i pleaded not guilty and they put me in jail for 2 days. this is just another thing that is driving me over the edge. i taught i could enlist but doing the research now i see you can only enlist with a GC if your period of time in the military is within the time you are allowed stay in the country - this is very bad news for me

[NickD 203]

If you want to enlist, don't come here, go to your nearest Air Force, Navy, Marine, Army, Coast Guard recruiter and get the information directly from then. These things change daily dependent on needs. Go to all the recruiters. You are a LPR now, a conditional one, but still a LPR, see what they say.

So many different reasons on the I-751 to stay here if your marriage does indeed fail, as long as it was entered in good faith, get the form, read it, and choose the reason that best suits you, be honest, and pull yourself together again. I was in a severe state of depression, severe accident, huge divorce expenses, and was about read to pull the plug, but stuck it out, met a woman beyond my wildest dreams, and now, never been happier than in my entire preceding life. Also served my country for six years active duty, can be just as tough as anyone else, learned a lot, changed my entire life for the better and pulled me out a state of poverty I was born into. Didn't go out drinking with the guys, took college courses instead, military makes that real easy to do. Hang in there, but try.

Feel meeting that right woman was a miracle, miracles do happen.

[wannastay 0]

things might not be so bad, i hope it will be ok, i wrote to my boss and begged him to try keep me on (this is the most worrying part to me) also my wife said she would do whatever is needed to get me the 10 year GC, even after how bad i treated her she is still good to me, its sad that i lost her but i have learned a very harsh lesson, i have 3 appointments next week to try help me deal with my issues.

so now, if we are seperated and she is going to help me get the GC - what are the implications of this? could she get in trouble? what should we do? i think we might just need to be honest with them.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

The military is known for weeding out and not accepting people with drinking and mental issues. If you really want to join the military you have to be healthy first. Thought of self harm should be discussed with a pro. Usually you will be given some medication that will help you form new thought patterns. It takes time and you have to work on it. Don't let the bumps in the road take over, there will be better days ahead.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

things might not be so bad, i hope it will be ok, i wrote to my boss and begged him to try keep me on (this is the most worrying part to me) also my wife said she would do whatever is needed to get me the 10 year GC, even after how bad i treated her she is still good to me, its sad that i lost her but i have learned a very harsh lesson, i have 3 appointments next week to try help me deal with my issues.

so now, if we are seperated and she is going to help me get the GC - what are the implications of this? could she get in trouble? what should we do? i think we might just need to be honest with them.

No implications. As long as the marriage was initially entered in "good faith", you have nothing to worry about.

They understand that things occur, and marriages fall apart.

[wannastay 0]

No implications. As long as the marriage was initially entered in "good faith", you have nothing to worry about.

They understand that things occur, and marriages fall apart.

thanks again - it is very sad because it was in good faith, i will have no problem proving that