K1 and honeymoon

[MelissaJulian 30]

Get your big boy pants on if you think I was out of line and do it yourself.

I'm actually kind of offended that you chose to post something that infers that my fiance is abusing me. If you are honestly that worried, why didn't you send me a PM? Isn't smearing my fiance's name a form of bullying? You don't know me and you don't know Julian.

[Rob and Jill 82]

but you and Julian should probably just delete your accounts and start again, anonymously, so nobody realizes who you are

Only one of them has a bad reputation.

I think mostly people just feel pity and even fear for Melissa. I think the threads would be a lot shorter if only she was posting, as she actually tends to be gracious about advice.

Julian, I've said it before. Is this REALLY healthy for your relationship? She's trying to buy a house (because you won't live in her apartment), she's trying to plan a wedding and honeymoon(you're not here to help), she's trying to work through this visa process for you (while you're across an ocean), and on top of all of that she has a job. Do you not think out of consideration for her and the levels of stress she is reaching, that you could walk away from these forums long enough to let her have one bit of peace in her life? Is that really asking too much? I'm asking you, for her, please just walk away.

Everyone has made the mistake of asking a question that is "easily answered". I researched for over 2 months on this site before I ever made a comment and the first thing someone said was "Read the guides". REALLY? NO KIDDING. I did, but because something was a "common" answer to someone who had been here forever, the older forum members tend to forget not everyone knows that stuff and not everything is spelled out crystal clear in the guides.

[krautlaus 7]

Because if he's just half as rude to you as he is on here - I wouldn't be surprised. That's exactly what people are thinking. He's a douche on VJ. I really do hope that he will be a very kind, loving, supporting husband to you. And maybe get a reality check.

[MelissaJulian 30]

Only one of them has a bad reputation.

I think mostly people just feel pity and even fear for Melissa. I think the threads would be a lot shorter if only she was posting, as she actually tends to be gracious about advice.

Julian, I've said it before. Is this REALLY healthy for your relationship? She's trying to buy a house (because you won't live in her apartment), she's trying to plan a wedding and honeymoon(you're not here to help), she's trying to work through this visa process for you (while you're across an ocean), and on top of all of that she has a job. Do you not think out of consideration for her and the levels of stress she is reaching, that you could walk away from these forums long enough to let her have one bit of peace in her life? Is that really asking too much? I'm asking you, for her, please just walk away.

Everyone has made the mistake of asking a question that is "easily answered". I researched for over 2 months on this site before I ever made a comment and the first thing someone said was "Read the guides". REALLY? NO KIDDING. I did, but because something was a "common" answer to someone who had been here forever, the older forum members tend to forget not everyone knows that stuff and not everything is spelled out crystal clear in the guides.

Thank you Jill. I'm not sure about being pitied, but thank you for understanding that I am trying to do this on my own and sometimes I can't figure out exactly what means what. I have a lot on at work this week (annual performance review next week) and I am very stressed out.

Julian comes across so differently on here than in real life. I guess the thing is that he doesn't suffer fools (as he says) and he really believes that what he is doing is right for him and us, so he has to speak up.

[JlovesA 109]

Only one of them has a bad reputation.

I think mostly people just feel pity and even fear for Melissa. I think the threads would be a lot shorter if only she was posting, as she actually tends to be gracious about advice.

While that may be true, there's no way she's able to ask questions anymore without people jumping down her throat. It happened in this thread; everything was fine until someone brought up old posts of Julian's. Since Melissa can't make people forget what they've read, the only way she's going to get objective advice without the mention of Julian is to create a new account and not divulge her identity.

[JulianMelissa 52]

Because if he's just half as rude to you as he is on here - I wouldn't be surprised. That's exactly what people are thinking. He's a douche on VJ. I really do hope that he will be a very kind, loving, supporting husband to you. And maybe get a reality check.

I am polite to those who are polite to me, as evidenced by my short conversation with JLovesA. He/she treated me with respect, and I responded in kind. How do you expect me to react when people like you hurl insults? Are you trying to say it's ok for you to call me a douche, but it's rude when I reciprocate?

[krautlaus 7]

I am polite to those who are polite to me, as evidenced by my short conversation with JLovesA. He/she treated me with respect, and I responded in kind. How do you expect me to react when people like you hurl insults? Are you trying to say it's ok for you to call me a douche, but it's rude when I reciprocate?

I was talking to Melissa and letting her know of my personal, humble opinion.

In the very beginning, I answered her question very nicely and sure politely (since she was asking very nicely) and then you came along insulting the US and being - yes - rude.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Sorry, butting in here. People were not uniformly polite to Melissa at the start of this discussion. It went beyond the usual "STFU n00b read the guides"; there seemed (at least to me) to be something a little more condescending and snarky than usual. Melissa has acquired a reputation on here as a bit of a ditz (whether or not that is deserved, and I tend to think not) and that reputation preceded her. I don't think being a ditz is a hanging offence on VJ yet, right?

[krautlaus 7]

Oh I was just referring to her first post on this topic. She asked if they have to stay in the US, I (and someone else) said yes, you do and then Julian came along.. and the rudeness began.

People ask ditzy questions, I don't have a problem with that. I ask them myself. Melissa is cool.

[JulianMelissa 52]

I was talking to Melissa and letting her know of my personal, humble opinion.

In the very beginning, I answered her question very nicely and sure politely (since she was asking very nicely) and then you came along insulting the US and being - yes - rude.

I was asked why I didn't want to honeymoon in America. I'm sorry that I was honest instead of replying that oh thank you very much but America is just much too 'awesome' to honeymoon in for the hunble likes of me. You are offended because you chose to be offended, just like Johnny boy and Alla and the rest of them. If you want smoke up your bum, go elsewhere. I don't mince words, sorry if you consider brutal honesty to be 'rude,' but as I said this is your problem, not mine. I wouldn't be where I am today if I kowtowed to political correctness.

And by the way, you were rude to Melissa. Don't embarrass yourself by trying to weasel out of it. She asked a legitimate question and you were rude to her. Own up to it, be a man and apologise to her.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Sorry, butting in here. People were not uniformly polite to Melissa at the start of this discussion. It went beyond the usual "STFU n00b read the guides"; there seemed (at least to me) to be something a little more condescending and snarky than usual. Melissa has acquired a reputation on here as a bit of a ditz (whether or not that is deserved, and I tend to think not) and that reputation preceded her. I don't think being a ditz is a hanging offence on VJ yet, right?

Much of Julian's asinine behaviour and reputation is imbued upon Melissa, whether deservedly so or not. I can understand a bit of his defensive stance in every post. However, when you act like a complete douchebag consistently, you are going to be treated as such consistently.

I was asked why I didn't want to honeymoon in America. I'm sorry that I was honest instead of replying that oh thank you very much but America is just much too 'awesome' to honeymoon in for the hunble likes of me. You are offended because you chose to be offended, just like Johnny boy and Alla and the rest of them. If you want smoke up your bum, go elsewhere. I don't mince words, sorry if you consider brutal honesty to be 'rude,' but as I said this is your problem, not mine. I wouldn't be where I am today if I kowtowed to political correctness.

And by the way, you were rude to Melissa. Don't embarrass yourself by trying to weasel out of it. She asked a legitimate question and you were rude to her. Own up to it, be a man and apologise to her.

People are offended by your callous remarks about America because you are moving here, as a guest. Your behavior is tantamount to that boorish american declaring in a Paris cafe that "you all would be speaking german if it wasn't for us".

[JulianMelissa 52]

Much of Julian's asinine behaviour and reputation is imbued upon Melissa, whether deservedly so or not. I can understand a bit of his defensive stance in every post. However, when you act like a complete douchebag consistently, you are going to be treated as such consistently.

Here I am being tarred and feathered, and yet I've not uttered a single personal insult. I've lost count of the number of you who have called me 'douche' or 'douchebag,' however. And yet I am the evil person here. So rich.

People are offended by your callous remarks about America because you are moving here, as a guest.

You are incorrect. I am moving here as a permanent resident. You didn't invite me, I'm not your guest. Complain to your USCIS if you have a problem.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

So...how about camping at Yellowstone?

[krautlaus 7]

Yes, that is true. Since the K-1 is only good for one single entry. After that, you should apply for advance parole (which might also take weeks or months) or just wait for your green card until you can leave the country.

Maybe you should think about going to Hawaii... or any other US Islands (Virgin etc.).

How the ** is that rude?

I might have been rude to you, not her. I am not weaseling my way out of anything. I can stand up to what I say, thanks.

Besides, I am not phased by your comments. I like honest people but there's a very thin line between being blunt and being a douche.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Two must-sees:

(1) The American Sanitary and Plumbing Museum in Watertown, MA.

(2) The Thing? on I-10 between Tucson and El Paso. The Thing itself pales in comparison to the bizarre "museum" you walk through to get to it.