How to deal with the down time

[yankepeach 2]

My feller is her for approx. 4 more weeks. I could give you the time down to the last minute.....but its too depressing. lol. I know I am being silly, but jeesh! I sure as heck am not looking forward to his leaving, yet again. It's not like I don't know he is coming back or that I am getting to go over there for his interview and to do a bit of honey mooning while there....ok a lot of honey mooning.....but I am bugging out every time I think about him leaving.

So how do you deal with your SO being 4000 miles or more away. What gets you through. How do you distract your self from being miserable.

[Adrian+Mike 2]

Talking on skype and using webcams every single day pretty much takes the edge off of things. Also knowing that there is light at the end of the very long tunnel really helps. In my final month before I finally fly out there for good ive been working as much as possible to try and make the days shorter.. that and my Xbox

It's never easy leaving each other through, even though you know you'll be seeing each other again soon. The first few days for me are tough, but once I get back into the routine of using skype/webcams chatting etc it gets easier.

I found that the saying "its always harder for the person left behind" was totally true. I just had to keep thinking to myself that all the emotion that we were/are both going through will make us that so much stronger when the day we get to be together forever comes around.

[yankepeach 2]

Talking on skype and using webcams every single day pretty much takes the edge off of things. Also knowing that there is light at the end of the very long tunnel really helps. In my final month before I finally fly out there for good ive been working as much as possible to try and make the days shorter.. that and my Xbox

It's never easy leaving each other through, even though you know you'll be seeing each other again soon. The first few days for me are tough, but once I get back into the routine of using skype/webcams chatting etc it gets easier.

I found that the saying "its always harder for the person left behind" was totally true. I just had to keep thinking to myself that all the emotion that we were/are both going through will make us that so much stronger when the day we get to be together forever comes around.

That is exactly the boat I am in. What makes it even worse is that all I can seem to do in the few days before he leaves is cry. Silly and childish as it seems.....it is what it is. Skype is wonderful ( we leave it on 24/7....but it doesn't wrap its arms about you whispering those wonderful words in your ear. It doesn't tickle your ribs and make you laugh uncontrollably.

I just had to keep thinking to myself that all the emotion that we were/are both going through will make us that so much stronger when the day we get to be together forever comes around.

Yeah....it honestly does I believe. I know I appreciate him more and know that I am not ever gonna take for granted that he is here now.....because he could be gone tomorrow. So I shall enjoy every moment I have with him and whine like a baby when I have to spend that time with out him.

[Adrian+Mike 2]

That is exactly the boat I am in. What makes it even worse is that all I can seem to do in the few days before he leaves is cry. Silly and childish as it seems.....it is what it is. Skype is wonderful ( we leave it on 24/7....but it doesn't wrap its arms about you whispering those wonderful words in your ear. It doesn't tickle your ribs and make you laugh uncontrollably.

lol same here! I thought we were the only crazy ones that left it on 24/7, even when we're both at work!

My bride to be used to do exactly the same thing, as the time approched for me to leave it all became very emotional. Me being the guy of course tried to put on a brave face and reassured her the best I could, however as soon as I got home and spoke to my mother (im a mummys boy lol) I ended up blubbing in the end

We watched alot of tv shows together over the internet,legally of course , basically just hitting play at the same time.. sounds madness but it totally helped as it felt, i dunno more of a normal thing, if that makes sense. She told me a story once of one of her mothers friends (i think!) whom were in a simlar situation found the cinema listings with her fiance living abroad and timed it so they saw the film at exactly the same time, keeping in touch over the phone all throughout. When you hear stuff like that I have to think how lucky we are nowadays to have skype and webcam! lol

[Alex356 0]

Staying busy with work really helps me. Another big one is hanging out/ keeping in touch with friends. That is a HUGE help and makes it so you don't get so lonely.

Also, don't count the days you are apart. When it gets close to your SO coming back you can mention weeks...but if you count the days it will drive you crazy!

My fiance and I have been apart about 5 months now...but he'll be here at the end of the month! It was sad being apart, but it wasn't as impossible as it seemed before he left.

[Gemmie 142]

What makes it even worse is that all I can seem to do in the few days before he leaves is cry. Silly and childish as it seems.....it is what it is.

I'm crazy and childish too, I cried non-stop during the last few days together. He would always tell me not to focus on the leaving part, but the being together again part... but I never listened.

[sachinky 464]

I didn't see my husband for 9 months. He left 3 days after our wedding.

I cried. I cried everyday. Even though we're now together, I will never forget how awful those months were. I tried to keep myself busy and that helps a bit. I read a lot, took up a job, gave private tuitions to highschoolers. Bought a bunch of DVDs. Use retail therapy as a coping mechanism. Cooked five course dinners. Hung out with friends and cousins on the weekend. My husband and I talked everyday, we played bowling or chess on Skype. Wrote long emails. The 10 hour time difference was a b*tch, though.

I know how hard it is. I will never forget that. But know that you WILL be together. And when you do, all of those months of separation will just melt away. It's hard to stay positive, but your day will come.

Edited June 7, 2010 by sachinky

[Rob and Jill 82]

We use Skype every single day. We also play games together online.

You know, Rob and I have been apart for 3 years. It's been a really long process for us to get this started. I just try to look at things as "Ok he went home that means he'll be back faster".

[MelissaJulian 30]

He's 6000 miles away, and sometimes it feels even further than that. We talk on the phone almost every day (this weekend he was in an area with no cell phone coverage so we couldn't communicate and it was terrible) and email as much as possible. We send texts and sometimes he sends me little packages too, which I never expect so they always are wonderful.

I keep busy by doing scrapbooking, which I love, hanging out with my friends, and working even harder than before this started. I think I get a lot of my frustration with this process out by working extra hour, since it just numbs me after a while. And yeah, I cry a lot more than usual these days. CSC has slowed down with the NOA2s and I have no idea when we can expect ours.

[Jewel-8 21]

So how do you deal with your SO being 4000 miles or more away. What gets you through. How do you distract your self from being miserable.

The last 2 months were the hardest for me. I was incredibly stressed and frustrated, plus he stopped using the webcam with me because I kept getting weepy and saying I missed having him with me in person.

I started exercising, and I swear hitting the gym 30-60 minutes a day was all that got me through that time. It took care of my being super frustrated with the waiting, the process, and of course, not having him around. He was shocked when he landed in Vegas after not seeing me for 5 months and I was much more tone than ever before.... and ever since!

[JulianMelissa 52]

He's 6000 miles away, and sometimes it feels even further than that. We talk on the phone almost every day (this weekend he was in an area with no cell phone coverage so we couldn't communicate and it was terrible) and email as much as possible. We send texts and sometimes he sends me little packages too, which I never expect so they always are wonderful.

I keep busy by doing scrapbooking, which I love, hanging out with my friends, and working even harder than before this started. I think I get a lot of my frustration with this process out by working extra hour, since it just numbs me after a while. And yeah, I cry a lot more than usual these days. CSC has slowed down with the NOA2s and I have no idea when we can expect ours.

We're on the motorway right now, still about 3 hours from London, but the signal is good. I've been trying to ring you but I'll hazard a guess that you left your mobile in the car again.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Oh no.

[MelissaJulian 30]

We're on the motorway right now, still about 3 hours from London, but the signal is good. I've been trying to ring you but I'll hazard a guess that you left your mobile in the car again.

Sorry J. I was in a meeting. At least I can see you here on VJ!

[JulianMelissa 52]

Now darling, I thought we'd already talked about how you are to keep your phone with you at all times and answer my calls on the first ring, meeting or no meeting!

(Kidding, just wanted to ruffle Elmcitymaven's feathers. )

[MelissaJulian 30]

So good to hear your voice just now, even if the call did cut out and even if I did have to hear Alex in the background telling you to put down the phone on me because it was distracting him from driving.