Financial Arrangements between couple?

[George and Movi 1]

Hi,

Im just curious, just wanted to know from the US citizens on how much or to what extend are you willing to support your spouses? I mean what is customary here? Do you expect to manage your finances separately or have a common fund? What about the household expenses, who pays? or is there any customary sharing of expenses? How about sending children to college, do parents here normally provide for their children's education or let them work to send themselves to college?

Thanks.

[Bernie C 24]

I don't think there is a "norm" or "custom" in the US anymore. Every couple does what suits them. I could give examples from myself and people I know and every single one does it differently. Thats the US.

Personally, I take care of 100% of all expenses and financial management in our home (but my wife is 100% included in all decisions). While we are just newlyweds, I don't expect this to change. We do not and cannot have any children so the topic of education for children is not in our realm.

I'm in no hurry for my wife to work but when she is ready and if she wants to then I will support her decision 100% and help her anyway I can. What is more important is that she learns and understand life here and gets accustomed to things.

Some families provide for the childrens college, some do not, Some may "help out".

Some families have two incomes, some do not.

I don't think its relavant what others are doing, this is soemthing you should discuss with your loved one so you both know what each other has in mind and know what to expect from and for each other, that way there are no suprises later.

Sorry - I think I might have just said alot of nothing!

[George and Movi 1]

I don't think there is a "norm" or "custom" in the US anymore. Every couple does what suits them. I could give examples from myself and people I know and every single one does it differently. Thats the US.

Personally, I take care of 100% of all expenses and financial management in our home (but my wife is 100% included in all decisions). While we are just newlyweds, I don't expect this to change. We do not and cannot have any children so the topic of education for children is not in our realm.

I'm in no hurry for my wife to work but when she is ready and if she wants to then I will support her decision 100% and help her anyway I can. What is more important is that she learns and understand life here and gets accustomed to things.

Some families provide for the childrens college, some do not, Some may "help out".

Some families have two incomes, some do not.

I don't think its relavant what others are doing, this is soemthing you should discuss with your loved one so you both know what each other has in mind and know what to expect from and for each other, that way there are no suprises later.

Sorry - I think I might have just said alot of nothing!

Thanks for the quick reply..I agree that spouses should agree on the terms. I was just thinking there might be some customary practices here. Over in the phils, most parents do all they can to send their children to college.

[ScottThuy 140]

It all depends on the values of the family itself... if the family values education more than a new car or ones personal image, the child will go to college paid... In the US so many people are too worried about themselves and not thier children...

Sorry junior.. we cant send you to college because we spent the money on vacations and designer clothes or nights out to outback... there are some really selfish parents here... as well as selfish spouses... remember the US is a country of consumers.. They consume everything in sight and dont care about the consequences

[George and Movi 1]

It all depends on the values of the family itself... if the family values education more than a new car or ones personal image, the child will go to college paid... In the US so many people are too worried about themselves and not thier children...

Sorry junior.. we cant send you to college because we spent the money on vacations and designer clothes or nights out to outback... there are some really selfish parents here... as well as selfish spouses... remember the US is a country of consumers.. They consume everything in sight and dont care about the consequences

thanks for the reply..yes, the family values matter most in every decisions.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

The U.S. has a long tradition of self reliance and when combined with many of the social safety nets, including student grants and loans, having to rely solely on family doesn't really apply to most Americans. That is the big difference I see between American families and Filipino families. I think both cultures have pros and cons with how that works out for families. In my observation, many American families are not as close, while many Filipino families have a tight bond that isn't easily broken. I personally would rather my family members rely on each other for support than have to go it alone or find other ways. So you and your spouse can create whatever works for your family, depending on what you and your spouse's priorities are.

[George and Movi 1]

The U.S. has a long tradition of self reliance and when combined with many of the social safety nets, including student grants and loans, having to rely solely on family doesn't really apply to most Americans. That is the big difference I see between American families and Filipino families. I think both cultures have pros and cons with how that works out for families. In my observation, many American families are not as close, while many Filipino families have a tight bond that isn't easily broken. I personally would rather my family members rely on each other for support than have to go it alone or find other ways. So you and your spouse can create whatever works for your family, depending on what you and your spouse's priorities are.

Thanks. Yes, I have witnessed the difference of family ties or bond of Filipinos compared to most American families that I met here. Most Filipinos believe that Family is the top priority, so if there is anybody to help anyone then it is the family members. Although, there are only few instances that it somehow makes the family members an enabler.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Thanks. Yes, I have witnessed the difference of family ties or bond of Filipinos compared to most American families that I met here. Most Filipinos believe that Family is the top priority, so if there is anybody to help anyone then it is the family members. Although, there are only few instances that it somehow makes the family members an enabler.

Yep. Unfortunately, a lot of family members who remain in the Philippines have come to rely on their 'rich' relatives living abroad. It's difficult to balance between truly helping them versus being an enabler.

[spidergirl 0]

Hi,

Im just curious, just wanted to know from the US citizens on how much or to what extend are you willing to support your spouses? I mean what is customary here? Do you expect to manage your finances separately or have a common fund? What about the household expenses, who pays? or is there any customary sharing of expenses? How about sending children to college, do parents here normally provide for their children's education or let them work to send themselves to college?

Thanks.

My husband and i have joint account. We pay our bills and everything out of that account. When i started working he asked me if i want to have my own bank account since i am earning my money,because he said if i want to ,he has no problem with it. But i said no, because to me as a couple we should share everything.

We don't have kids but if ever we will have one, we should definitely send him or her to College.

It depends on you and your spouse on how will you manage your expenses. You just need to talk on how you do it.

[adiiann 163]

This is our financial set-up and agreed decision

- All incomes are our money

- Home expenses are paid by us ( we combine our monies)

- Buying small stuff or using credit card (no more than 100usd)doesn't need to ask but at least letting each other knows about it for budget purposes

- We are saving for education of kids (though we don't have kids yet)

- Sending money/helping the family is only when they're really need some help not because they want some money (we don't really send money but gifts on occasion).

[George and Movi 1]

Yep. Unfortunately, a lot of family members who remain in the Philippines have come to rely on their 'rich' relatives living abroad. It's difficult to balance between truly helping them versus being an enabler.

Thats true.. there are some who are always expecting "hand-outs", and somehow using "emotional black mail" if the relative or family member will not send. Little did they know, that one needs to work real hard to earn every single cent be it here or anywhere.

[George and Movi 1]

My husband and i have joint account. We pay our bills and everything out of that account. When i started working he asked me if i want to have my own bank account since i am earning my money,because he said if i want to ,he has no problem with it. But i said no, because to me as a couple we should share everything.

We don't have kids but if ever we will have one, we should definitely send him or her to College.

It depends on you and your spouse on how will you manage your expenses. You just need to talk on how you do it.

Thanks for the reply. Its interesting to know that what you have been practicing is similar to most in the Phils. Its a good start for the couple to have an agreement on financial issues as it defines the responsibility and accountability of each, coz there are times that this may start a conflict between spouses.

[George and Movi 1]

This is our financial set-up and agreed decision

- All incomes are our money

- Home expenses are paid by us ( we combine our monies)

- Buying small stuff or using credit card (no more than 100usd)doesn't need to ask but at least letting each other knows about it for budget purposes

- We are saving for education of kids (though we don't have kids yet)

- Sending money/helping the family is only when they're really need some help not because they want some money (we don't really send money but gifts on occasion).

Thanks. Saving makes a big difference in a couple's life. Keep it up.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My husband and I are joining our funds for bill paying.

Right now as I don't have a job he pays everything. We have a joint account and he has a separate account (soon i'll arrange my own separate one but it's pointless when I don't have an income yet ).

My plan is to have our income go into the one account, and have a set amount sent to our individual accounts for personal spending. I don't like the idea of using my husbands money to get my hair cut and dyed (when a cut would do), or buy silly little things that I want but don't actually "need". He has no issue with it but I like the idea of spending MY money on his presents, not his money to buy him a present

I personally believe that if one member of the family earns more, then they should spend more on bills. It doesn't really apply to our situation but for example my in-laws.

My MIL pays the mortgage and FIL pays elec, gas, water etc. They 50/50 split the bills which i don't agree with because she earns about double what he does. He completely supported the family while she went to school and stayed home with the kids but she's a ###### and doesn't think back to everything HE did for HER. it's always about her. The reason it's like it is now is because she LOVES to spend money and when they had a joint account she often forgot to pay bills (she told him she would pay them) or spent too much from their joint account and they got over-drawing charges and late fees etc.

Anyway. As always it's a personal decision. Like you said family is impt to me too. I want my family (kids) to know our home is the FAMILY home, it's not "mum and dad's house". I want my family to know if they need help to come and ask and I'll do everything I can. I don't want my kids paying ridiculous amounts back in student loans when I had 18 years to save money for them... even longer if you start planning in advance. I think they should have a sense of responsibility though and work while studying (part-time or casual) but I think I should have SOME money to help them out. I also want my kids to work hard for scholarships too... education is important to me. Just $50 a month is just over $10k in 18 years. Instead of looking at a tax refund as a new TV it could be seen as a nice chunk to put to savings.

[kilipit 0]

Hi,

Im just curious, just wanted to know from the US citizens on how much or to what extend are you willing to support your spouses? I mean what is customary here? Do you expect to manage your finances separately or have a common fund? What about the household expenses, who pays? or is there any customary sharing of expenses? How about sending children to college, do parents here normally provide for their children's education or let them work to send themselves to college?

Thanks.

Hi, Im not a US citizen but heres my opinion about this topic, me and my husband who is currently a CW4 in US army has provided everything for me, i have my filipino food every week, i have my filipino channel since i came here, he send money to my mom every month. he pays all the bills, he dont allow me to work because he wants me to stay at home and now having a baby. when he buy something he always ask me whats my opinion or if i like it, we never debate or argue, just be supportive and not destructive. and i even have my monthly allowance even im staying at home. yes me and husband will provide college education for the child future, but most of the talk he wants to do it by himself.