EXTREMELY Nervous

[PurpleSky 19]

Hi All...

I am just getting ready to send off my K1 Visa packet but the stories of denied visas are really making me clutch my package even harder. Here's the deal:

My fiance is Nigerian but lives in Gambia. We have not been in a romantic relationship very long at all (but we both just KNEW we are meant for each other). I met him through my cousin who has been married to his brother for 8 years. There are at least 5 other couples who I know (including my cousin and FH's brother) who claim to have filed for a K1 Visa and were denied. They were all involving fiances that lived in Gambia. ARRRGGGHHH!!! Because of this...they are all advising me to just go over to Gambia and get married then come back and file for him rather than going the K1 route. I sooooo don't want to do that because 1- I want to get married with my family in attendance (including my child) and 2- I guess I'm kind of old fashioned because I don't want to get married then have to live months without my spouse as soon as we get married. Ya' know?

I know situations are different and I can't help but think that they must have done something wrong for them ALL to have been denied. But I don't know how much of that is just being hopeful and a little naive. I did say that perhaps I will travel to go to his interview with him (I don't believe ANY of them did that) giving him personal support. And to show that we are definitely in this together.

Also is it too much to hope that the process could possibly be completed by year's end?

Thoughts, encouragement, advise, doses of reality are very much welcome.

Thanks in advance!!

[trailmix 77]

Hi,

Well, unless the people who were denied K1s actually give you complete details of WHY they were denied - that information is pretty much completely useless to you.

As you have decided on the K1, you need to make it as important as it is. What I mean is that you need to front load that application with as much proof of relationship as you can muster.

All things being equal - there are no overstays in the U.S., you have proof you can support him, you have lots of solid relationship evidence, you both know each other very well (I mean for instance, you have 2 children and he knows what their birthdates are - ie: you know all the personal details for each other), then there is no reason to think he would be denied.

As for travelling to be at the interview with him, it sounds like a very very good idea.

You might also want to post what you are sending as proof of your bonafide relationship - so that others that have filed can give you additional suggestions.

Good luck!

Edited April 4, 2010 by trailmix

[PurpleSky 19]

Thanks for your response trailmix!!

Yep my thoughts exactly...they have not told me why they were denied, just that they were. I've asked and haven't gotten a straight answer...always "you know how corrupt things are" or "probably because I didn't bribe anyone...you know money talks". I just can't get with that.

As for our evidence, here's what I have:

**emails between us (including an email he sent to my son officially asking him for my hand in marriage.)

**a couple of written letters

**pictures from my trip to Gambia to visit with him

**copy of my boarding pass & passport

**phone bills (land line and pingo.com)

**IM copies

**a picture of the engagement ring he made for me

**the receipt for the engagement ring my aunt purchased as a gift for him to give to me (she wanted to make him look good as well as help because she knew he could not afford stones in the one he made for me. Yes this means I have two engagement rings. LOL)

**A "upon visa approval" contract for the facility where we are planning to have our ceremony and reception

**A few pages of the well wishes we received on our engagement from my family and friends

**A letter from the Reverend who will be officiating the ceremony (includes a statement that we are currently undergoing pre marital counseling which will continue with a couple sessions face to face when he arrives)

Is this enough? Since I haven't mailed it yet, if I've forgotten something it's not too late to put it in.

[MeggyMo 4]

Thanks for your response trailmix!!

Yep my thoughts exactly...they have not told me why they were denied, just that they were. I've asked and haven't gotten a straight answer...always "you know how corrupt things are" or "probably because I didn't bribe anyone...you know money talks". I just can't get with that.

As for our evidence, here's what I have:

**emails between us (including an email he sent to my son officially asking him for my hand in marriage.)

**a couple of written letters

**pictures from my trip to Gambia to visit with him

**copy of my boarding pass & passport

**phone bills (land line and pingo.com)

**IM copies

**a picture of the engagement ring he made for me

**the receipt for the engagement ring my aunt purchased as a gift for him to give to me (she wanted to make him look good as well as help because she knew he could not afford stones in the one he made for me. Yes this means I have two engagement rings. LOL)

**A "upon visa approval" contract for the facility where we are planning to have our ceremony and reception

**A few pages of the well wishes we received on our engagement from my family and friends

**A letter from the Reverend who will be officiating the ceremony (includes a statement that we are currently undergoing pre marital counseling which will continue with a couple sessions face to face when he arrives)

Is this enough? Since I haven't mailed it yet, if I've forgotten something it's not too late to put it in.

It sounds like you have really get evidence to show an ongoing relationship between the two of you and that you have met within the past two years, which is very important.

From the looks of it as long as you have both filled out the forms correctly it sounds good to me.

Good luck with everything!

[FrancElsie 6]

I will add something that I cut and pasted from a previous "Pushbrk" posting. (He is a respected member of this forum.) There are some countries that are considered "high fraud" and it mostly involves the fiance/e's...not the government. (Remember, you are going to an American Embassy/Consulate...not something run by Nambia, Nigeria or Vietnam.) Perhaps the reason these people were denied is something they don't want you to know about??? The list is as follows...

1. India

2. China

3. Vietnam

4. Nigeria

5. Philippines

6. Brazil

7. Colombia

8. Russia

I personally went through this with a woman from Colombia. My mind is still reeling from the experience...and my wallet hurts too!! LOLOL I went through the same emotions..."we are MEANT for each other" etc. But, in the end I figured out the scam and ended it. (Unfortunately, I married in Colombia because I was "impatient and in love"...and paid the price! The old saying goes...Marry in haste, repent at leisure!!!

A good friend of mine did the same thing with a woman from Russia...she bolted the moment her feet touched the shores of the USA. Filed abuse charges the first week and generally messed up his life.

Another lawyer acquaintence of mine did the K-1 thing with a Colombian woman. She too bolted within the first weeks of arrival...went to visit "a friend." Appeared at his doorstep on the 87th day and wanted to get married. He bought her a ticket to Bogota and put her on the plane! End of stories. Be careful.

Best Wishes,

Franc

PS I suggest that you do NOT get married in Gambia/Nigeria or anywhere at this time. Please read some more postings especially those from Pushbrk which pertain to this subject.

Edited April 4, 2010 by FrancElsie

[PurpleSky 19]

I will add something that I cut and pasted from a previous "Pushbrk" posting. (He is a respected member of this forum.) There are some countries that are considered "high fraud" and it mostly involves the fiance/e's...not the government. (Remember, you are going to an American Embassy/Consulate...not something run by Nambia, Nigeria or Vietnam.) Perhaps the reason these people were denied is something they don't want you to know about??? The list is as follows...

1. India

2. China

3. Vietnam

4. Nigeria

5. Philippines

6. Brazil

7. Colombia

8. Russia

I personally went through this with a woman from Colombia. My mind is still reeling from the experience...and my wallet hurts too!! LOLOL I went through the same emotions..."we are MEANT for each other" etc. But, in the end I figured out the scam and ended it. (Unfortunately, I married in Colombia because I was "impatient and in love"...and paid the price! The old saying goes...Marry in haste, repent at leisure!!!

A good friend of mine did the same thing with a woman from Russia...she bolted the moment her feet touched the shores of the USA. Filed abuse charges the first week and generally messed up his life.

Another lawyer acquaintence of mine did the K-1 thing with a Colombian woman. She too bolted within the first weeks of arrival...went to visit "a friend." Appeared at his doorstep on the 87th day and wanted to get married. He bought her a ticket to Bogota and put her on the plane! End of stories. Be careful.

Best Wishes,

Franc

PS I suggest that you do NOT get married in Gambia/Nigeria or anywhere at this time. Please read some more postings especially those from Pushbrk which pertain to this subject.

Thank you Franc! I appreciate your words of caution. Trust me, I am not taking this lightly. If my cousin was not married to his brother for the past 8 years and I hadn't known of him since then, it would be more scary for me I think. Yes I agree! I refuse to get married over there so I am praying that this is going to go the right way and get approved.

[TBoneTX 47,560]

I will add something that I cut and pasted from a previous "Pushbrk" posting.

Which post? Please provide the exact link to it.

not something run by Nambia

Where is Nambia?

The list is as follows...

1. India

2. China

3. Vietnam

4. Nigeria

5. Philippines

6. Brazil

7. Colombia

8. Russia

It is very important that you provide the exact link from which you claim to have "cut and pasted" this list.

[Alcheringa 39]

TBoneTX, point taken -- providing the original link is always preferable. But this list of countries with a high-incidence of fraud is commonly known. I think the idea here is to assist the OP, not to highlight moot points.

For those that are geographically challenged, the OP said Gambia, not "Nambia" -- which is actually called Namibia, by the way. The Gambia (official name) is a small sliver of a coastal nation in north-western Africa that is almost entirely surrounded by the country of Senegal. And in the same region as Nigeria, Sierra Leone, and a few other hot spots.

PurpleSky, as it has already been said without knowing the specifics of the denials you speak of they are no use to us. But because of the general history of visa issuance in Africa one can speculate that the consulate there will look very closely at the legitimacy of the relationship, to which the burden of proof falls upon you. Front-loading the packet would be wise, as well as being certain of his own background. Along with evidence, I would include a memo verifying the long-standing marriage of your cousin to his brother.

The event involving Nigerian-born Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on Northwest Flight 253 did not help your situation any. Again, it is a tough situation and we all wish you the best.

Your strongest course of action will be to make certain you submit this petition perfectly, and include as much supporting evidence as physically possible. The petition approval stage only requires to prove you have met at least once in the last two years, but the additional information will already be in the hands of the consulate for perusal prior to your interview. Which cannot hurt.

Supposing the interview is granted, be sure he has all of the documentation in-hand, and be sure you both are intricately familiar with one another's history, qualities, desires, plans, important dates, times, etc. Not being so is the first indicator of deception, even if there is no actual deception present.

As for marrying him in his home country, you would have done nothing to advance your cause. Regardless of whether you apply for a K-1 or CR-1 visa, you'll still have to establish all of these variables to the consulate. Perhaps even to a greater degree with the CR-1, as it skips the AOS stage.

Good luck. Hit the forum up as you assemble your packet, and everyone will assist in what else to add.

Take care.

[Alcheringa 39]

TBoneTX, point taken -- providing the original link is always preferable. But this list of countries with a high-incidence of fraud is commonly known. I think the idea here is to assist the OP, not to highlight moot points.

For those that are geographically challenged, the OP said Gambia, not "Nambia" -- which is actually called Namibia, by the way. The Gambia (official name) is a small sliver of a coastal nation in north-western Africa that is almost entirely surrounded by the country of Senegal. And in the same region as Nigeria, Sierra Leone, and a few other hot spots.

PurpleSky, as it has already been said without knowing the specifics of the denials you speak of they are no use to us. But because of the general history of visa issuance in Africa one can speculate that the consulate there will look very closely at the legitimacy of the relationship, to which the burden of proof falls upon you. Front-loading the packet would be wise, as well as being certain of his own background. Along with evidence, I would include a memo verifying the long-standing marriage of your cousin to his brother.

The event involving Nigerian-born Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on Northwest Flight 253 did not help your situation any. Again, it is a tough situation and we all wish you the best.

Your strongest course of action will be to make certain you submit this petition perfectly, and include as much supporting evidence as physically possible. The petition approval stage only requires to prove you have met at least once in the last two years, but the additional information will already be in the hands of the consulate for perusal prior to your interview. Which cannot hurt.

Supposing the interview is granted, be sure he has all of the documentation in-hand, and be sure you both are intricately familiar with one another's history, qualities, desires, plans, important dates, times, etc. Not being so is the first indicator of deception, even if there is no actual deception present.

As for marrying him in his home country, you would have done nothing to advance your cause. Regardless of whether you apply for a K-1 or CR-1 visa, you'll still have to establish all of these variables to the consulate. Perhaps even to a greater degree with the CR-1, as it skips the AOS stage.

Good luck. Hit the forum up as you assemble your packet, and everyone will assist in what else to add.

Take care.

Before I'm corrected, the CR-1 includes the AOS stage, and does not skip it...

[prettyunique 1]

Just in my opinion, I would not overly emphasize the relationship between your cousin and his brother. The consulate may believe that this relationship could be a scam due to their relationship... they may think "His brother may want him to come to the US so he his asked his wife's cousin to marry his brother." So it is up to you to show them otherwise. I am not saying to hide the relationship of your cousin and his brother just do not may a presentation of it. That is just my opinion. Maybe some other people will chime in.

By the way, If you think it would show a better picture of the evolution of you and his relationship, I would include in the packet a timeline of you and his friendship and then relationship.

Good Luck with your journey.

Edited April 5, 2010 by prettyunique

[Alcheringa 39]

The consulate may believe that this relationship could be a scam due to their relationship... they may think "His brother may want him to come to the US so he his asked his wife's cousin to marry his brother."

That's a very good point that didn't occur to me, and complicates the matter even further.

A clear timeline is a great idea, too.

Please keep us updated with this one! It'll be interesting to see how it develops.

[pushbrk 13,636]

TBoneTX, point taken -- providing the original link is always preferable. But this list of countries with a high-incidence of fraud is commonly known. I think the idea here is to assist the OP, not to highlight moot points.

As the person you are claiming to have quoted, I don't consider this a trivial issue. I suspect you quoted from text in a post to which I responded. It's true that there are high fraud Consulates and Lagos is in a class by itself but I would not have typed such a list. I generally just refer to four levels of fraud, low, medium, high and Lagos.

Frankly the country from which I see the most fraud related to email based relationships indicating intent to come to the USA is actually Ghana but those are cases where the couple has never met and no petition is ever filed. The USC is just being scammed for money by a female supposedly interested in marriage.

[pushbrk 13,636]

Hi All...

I am just getting ready to send off my K1 Visa packet but the stories of denied visas are really making me clutch my package even harder. Here's the deal:

My fiance is Nigerian but lives in Gambia. We have not been in a romantic relationship very long at all (but we both just KNEW we are meant for each other). I met him through my cousin who has been married to his brother for 8 years. There are at least 5 other couples who I know (including my cousin and FH's brother) who claim to have filed for a K1 Visa and were denied. They were all involving fiances that lived in Gambia. ARRRGGGHHH!!! Because of this...they are all advising me to just go over to Gambia and get married then come back and file for him rather than going the K1 route. I sooooo don't want to do that because 1- I want to get married with my family in attendance (including my child) and 2- I guess I'm kind of old fashioned because I don't want to get married then have to live months without my spouse as soon as we get married. Ya' know?

I know situations are different and I can't help but think that they must have done something wrong for them ALL to have been denied. But I don't know how much of that is just being hopeful and a little naive. I did say that perhaps I will travel to go to his interview with him (I don't believe ANY of them did that) giving him personal support. And to show that we are definitely in this together.

Also is it too much to hope that the process could possibly be completed by year's end?

Thoughts, encouragement, advise, doses of reality are very much welcome.

Thanks in advance!!

Whether spouse or fiance, visa denials from high fraud countries are usually for a lack of evidence of a bona fide relationship. The best evidence of bona fides is the time you spend together in person. Documented multiple and/or longer (than a week) visits goes a long way to making a difference. Don't take this lightly or be over confident as these relationships will usually get significantly more scrutiny than those from low fraud countries.

[PurpleSky 19]

Thanks ya'll for the information and pointers!

In regards to my cousin and FH's brother's marriage. I considered that the Consulates would think that but I also looked at it from another viewpoint..."if his brother wanted him to come here why would he wait so long" also "why would he just consider this one sibling and not the 9 others he has" <----these are not excuses by any means just other things I considered when thinking of the pros and cons. Also, I feel I HAVE to disclose their relationship because I don't want them to feel as if I am hiding anything. So while I mention it by saying "We met through my cousin who has been married to his older brother for 8 years". I don't go into it more than that. I felt it was important to show that our relationship exists and is strong despite how we met. That's one of the reasons why I included the letter from the Reverend who will be officiating our ceremony stating we are currently going through pre-marital counseling (which in Christian (we are both Christian) households isn't something to be taken lightly). Along with the other proof (I'm actually going to hold off sending it until May because I'm going to Gambia at the end of the month for a two week stay to be with him), I think that is a pretty good show of relationship. One other thing we did was start a wedding website where we write about our different perspectives and tell our story. I am torn as to include printouts or the web address for that.

As I mentioned my biggest concern is that although we have known of each other for 8 years we have only had a romantic relationship for a very short period of time. So I feel like I have to provide all this BIG information in order to be taken seriously. Which is why I've decided to definitely attend his interview with him although that is a great expense along with getting ready for him to come here and graduating school.