When you marry or married your SO...

[Veiled Princess 1]

I have been mulling this over lately... I was adamently against this idea at first but I think I've changed my mind... not really sure yet.

I know I'm changing my legal first name once this immigration thing is behind me but I'm scared to do it now because I don't want to confuse USCIS before we get the visa

[noura 0]

I have been mulling this over lately... I was adamently against this idea at first but I think I've changed my mind... not really sure yet.

I know I'm changing my legal first name once this immigration thing is behind me but I'm scared to do it now because I don't want to confuse USCIS before we get the visa

me too Layla, didn't want to change the first name yet for immigration purposes - don't want anything to slow it down!!! also, I think I'll add Noura to the name instead of changing it completely...

[LebaneseMama 1]

I changed my name when he came ...

My name is now :

Massouna Maiden (as middle) Ali's Last name

[Henia 11]

Esalaam

Even though it is not common in the MENA and Islam doesnt require women to do that... I still prefer the name... I rather have one name for my family (for my children) and of course, I would be sooo honoured to carry my SO's name... (that surprised him when I told him that, but surprised in a good way )

[Donna A 4]

yep i sure did change it. no one gives me hassles about it being arabic either.

i remember when i asked him is the correct spelling al-.... or al..... and he asked why. i told him well i want to know so when i change my last name to urs i gotta know how to spell it correctly. he didnt understand at first and i explained it. then he was tickled pink. he kept saying donna al....., its like musical together.

even his friends in saudi arabia said...they were jelous becasue they wish their wives could have their last name too. they never knew a woman changes her name after marriege here.

[Mandi+Ryan 0]

I'm changing my name!

[chri'stina 190]

Geez... I'm trying to make a mental list of all the things I'll need to change it on.

Driver's license

utility bills

bank account

passport

car title

lease

what am I forgetting? (probably about a hundred things)

social security card

I did take Sujeet's last name. I like it, a lot of people can't pronounce it, but it's fun. I got used to hearing it fast as I was a teacher when I got married, and it was cute hearing 3 and 4 yr olds calling me by it all day. And they learned to say it right, they said it much better than their parents did. But people don't know what nationality it is, so they always ask...it's not a commonly heard Indian last name in the US.

The only part that is sad, is that in my family is just 2 daughters...me and my sis, so no boy to carry on our Italian last name that is also a rare last name.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Here are the things I am wrestling with regarding this...

1. I heard about a hadith that said on JD we will be called by our names and our father's names... I have heard that means we should not change our names... also something to do with mixing bloodlines (?) by taking a family name that isn't yours.... I have not heard any scholar speak about this so I don't know if that hadith is even good.

2. I have issues with this tradition because of how it started. Women used to change their last names upon marriage because ownership transferred at that point from her father to her husband...

3. It is such a pain to get your name back if something happens.... I know this from experience... I had to wait forever to get rid of my ex's name.

On the other hand.....

1. My father isn't muslim and I don't really care to stand with him on JD if he dies as a kafir. (I know that sounds harsh but that's just how it is.)

2. My ancestors were native americans (Cherokee) and I'm pretty sure they did not use last names and the one I have was probably forced on one of my ancestors to make him "normal". Therfore, it's not really my name anyway....

3. I would love to be a part of Yousuf's family... he is so great and so is his family and I think I would feel closer to them if I shared their last name.

I could just drop the last name all together and be like Cher.... Just "Layla"

[tnh9479 1]

I wondered about this issue too. My sister and I were the last of my father's side of the family and it kind of meant that name would disappear. Also, I am a teacher and wondered how confusing would it be. However, I want to have children and I think for family unity it is better when ALL have the same last name. So...I changed it. There are still things a year later I find that need changing (all sorts of things you forget).

Twila

[AngelK96 0]

I took my husband's last name

Here's another thing. We sent money to his mother, and i wanted to put our last name after her first name and he told me no since his father has passed away she has to go back to using her maiden name since she doesn't have a husband anymore.

I thought that was a little strange but i guess that is how it is there in Jordan.

[Angel7422 0]

I took my husband second middle name and his family last name and hyphenated it to make me a new last name i dropped my old last name

Now I have to remember that my name and and hubby's is a little bit different if u were to look at our identification

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Yes I changed my name, adding my husband's surname to my maiden name (no hyphen.) His last name is a long one -- 3 words -- and now I have the lengthiest name of anyone I know ! Luckily it doesn't have any of the "difficult" sounds

It's not a custom in my husband's culture for wives to change their names upon marriage, but he was very pleased with the idea -- both he and his family found it absolutely charming.

And although it's pretty obviously an Arabic name, no one has ever made a single negative comment about it (at least not that I'm aware of.) Instead, I've found that most people make a conscious effort to try to pronounce it properly, and often they even comment on how beautiful it sounds

I live in a city with a predominantly Hispanic population, so perhaps people are a bit more tolerant of "foreign" sounding names here.

-MK