Baby Corner

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

No Susita, unfortunately not. The internet is over 1100$ there a year anually and far too much for my in laws to afford.

[Susita 175]

No Susita, unfortunately not. The internet is over 1100$ there a year anually and far too much for my in laws to afford.

wOw.

internet is expensive in Peru too, but not that expensive. Where my husband is from, usually more than one household splits the cable/internet bill and they share it to lower costs. I hope that the circumstances change for you & they get to visit soon.

[chnst 6]

Kelly: how about Internet Cafes? Maybe they can at least occasionally skype with you guys from someone else's computer?

@Susita: hey we should go shopping at the Riverhead outlets sometime! I love LI! I was living in Westhampton Beach for a while and still have friends out there. Now that we moved to Putnam its a 2.5 hour drive to the Hamptons and I don't go as often. I really want to go surfing in the summer and I'm having pottery barn outlet withdrawals!!

Vi: *hugs* I'm sorry, if my life wouldn't be so crazy I would offer to watch Sofia. I understand how disappointing it must be when you know that your parents would do anything to be able to spend time with her while your in-laws live right here and don't seem to care.

I guess I am really lucky in that way that my in-laws are very helpful. My MIL watches Ben one full day a week when I work at the hospital. I couldn't do it without them because I have to leave here at 5 am. No daycare would do that. Plus they occasionally drive down to spend the weekend so my husband and I can go on a date.

I sometimes get really sad that my parents are not a very big part in Ben's life, although we skype A LOT. Ben thinks his "Opa" lives in my laptop, haha, he points to it and wants to call him every day. It really helps but still it is not the same. But I think better than nothing.

[tnh9479 1]

We understand your situation Kelly. We want to take the twins to Morocco to see their family. The airfare is INSANE. Luckily, my sister-in-laws all go to the cybercafe on the weekend to video chat with my husband and the babies. We also send them pictures periodically. We had bought them a computer for their house, but they cannot afford the internet bill and we can't afford to help them at this time.

[Susita 175]

@Susita: hey we should go shopping at the Riverhead outlets sometime! I love LI! I was living in Westhampton Beach for a while and still have friends out there. Now that we moved to Putnam its a 2.5 hour drive to the Hamptons and I don't go as often. I really want to go surfing in the summer and I'm having pottery barn outlet withdrawals!!

Definitely! I love doing all my clothes shopping for the kids at Osh Kosh & Children's Place Outlets.

Unfortunately, I went to the doc today and they put me on modified bedrest for low fluid levels. I was there 2 weeks ago and they told me to increase my water intake, which I did. Anyway, my fluid level went down instead of up. They did a non stress test and everything looks good, but I have to go back on Fri for another one.

Modified bedrest with two 5 year olds = impossible. I'm trying though.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Chnst@ Lucky girl! and we do skype everyday, I love it! seeing my parents on line is part of our routine.

Zaidsmommy@ Me and my FIL have and "I hate you- ok you are not so bad" relationship, he is a very controlling person, typical italian old fashion macho, and I hate that, on the other hand my MIL has to ask for permission about everything, even to visit her own mom!!! and I don't like that either.

You made me think alot and yes, I'm very fortunate that at least my mom was here the first three months of Sofia's life and to be honest I'm sure that without here I would have been a big mess. Internet is that expensive? what about cybercafes?

Susita@Modified bed rest? how is that?

[Susita 175]

Susita@Modified bed rest? how is that?

It's not like complete bedrest, I have to relax in bed as much as possible but I can shower, eat, go to the bathroom, do little things here and there... but only things that are really necessary like make the boys something to eat etc. At least until the amniotic fluid level goes up (if it does) and then I can go back to normal but take it easy. It is hard for me because I have a lot of running around to do with two little kids.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Susita. I hope your fluid increases. I have 2 friends who went thru the same thing. One actually got fluids 3 times a week at the hospital and the other just drank lots of water and made it to 38 weeks and got induced. Take it easy and enjoy these last few weeks.

Vi, sounds like you have your hands full with Sils mom and dad lol. There are tons of cyber cafes in Jordan but my inlaws are in their 60's and dont even know how to use a computer. My husband hasnt seen his moms face in over 3 years. Its very hard. We have sent pictures by mail to Jordan recently so they have seen pictures of him, and we do call, but its just not the same. I wish we could get the internet back at their home but its just ALOT of extra money and when my inlaws struggle to put food on the table, it seems silly to pay for something so "extra" like the internet.

I will say we have kind of accepted the fact that Zaid wont "know" his family in Jordan until he is MUCH older. He will always know of them but we dont forsee ever going there with him until he is 16 or so. It is sad for us, and hard, but something we knew and talked about way before we even decided to get married.

[Susita 175]

There are tons of cyber cafes in Jordan but my inlaws are in their 60's and dont even know how to use a computer.

Luis's parents don't know how either, they're in their 60's as well. One of his brothers/sisters/neices/nephews has to help them with it. When we got the sonogram done of the baby, we e-mailed the pictures to his niece who brought his mom to a cyber cafe to see them. He just went to visit them (by himself) in January. I wasn't allowed to travel because of the pregnancy. That's when he hooked up the webcam for them on his old PC. It helps out the family too because his siblings don't have a whole lot of money either and their kids go over and use the computer to do their schoolwork or chat, etc.

Is it possible for his parents to travel outside of Jordan? Only because a few years ago a friend of mine had to do this with her parents in Iran. They both traveled and met up in a different country, I think they went to Cyprus if I'm not mistaken. My friend had to pay for everything because her family there doesn't have much money, but it was well worth it I've never seen her so happy. Hey if you hit lotto in the future, I say go for it!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Ya, going to a 3rd country is a possibility but your right, the lotto would be neccessary. A trip for a few of us would be, if i had to guesstimate....4000$ for airfare, 1000$ for lodging, then you have all the other expenses, etc....Probably about 10k for a decent 10 day trip or so. His mom and dad are also both very sick and I dont know if it would be ideal for them to fly. We have pretty much weighed all the options and decided none are ideal so we are dealing with it, it just sucks.

[Staashi 371]

My parents are 56 each and while I was in Lima they were amazing with Sofia, they gave her baths, feed her, change diapers, took her for walks, things that the parents do .

My in laws are a mental case, the are italian and yes they are nice when we go to their house, but they NEVER come to visit us, and we lived around the corner from them. Since I moved here about 5 years ago, they came to visit us maybe 7 times, no more and not even for Sofia. They have 6 grandchildren and they all are under 6.

My MIL is closer to her other grandchidren, my mom says that is because they are the kids of her own daughter, I don't know, it's just so weird, again, it's SO UNFAIR THAT MY PARENTS CANNOT ENJOY THEIR GRANDAUGHTER

Vi, this reminds me of a thing my best friend's mom who is Mexican used to say: "Hijo de mi hija mi nieto sera, hijo de mi hijo en dude estara." Which translated means: Son of my daughter my grandson will be, son of my son in doubt forever will be. How bizarre. Just reminds me of what your mom is saying, if they were her (your MIL's) daughter's children, she'd feel closer. My MIL is like another mother to Enzo. She says he is her life, which I am sure is how your parents feel about Sofia. Your inlaws are weird.

[chri'stina 190]

Susita, sorry to hear about your bedrest. I imagine that must be hard to do with the twins!! Hope you are still able to get some rest and your fluids go up.

We don't have either parents nearby now which is hard. My parents do visit often(I have talked about that before), but it is hard that we don't have grandparents nearby to watch Kavi. When we visited India, I felt secure when Kavi was with his grandmother over there. She is very good with him. My father in law was very cute with him too, acting goofy and taking Kavi outside for walks(Kavi couldn't walk yet, so he would be held).

I haven't been very close to either side of my grandparents. From my mom's side, my grandpa died when I was a toddler and my grandmother died in the 90's who lived in NY and we lived here in FL. On my dad's side, my grandfather died in 1999, my grandma is still alive and lives near my parents. But they weren't very interactive grandparents. I can't blame them totally. You have to remember sometimes how they might have grown up and cultural issues. My grandparents obviously had issues with things from when they were raised. My Italian grandfather who died in 1999 was the most fun out of the two, but still not typical overly helpful grandparents.

Kelly, that must be very hard.

It seems my in laws don't get good prices for internet either! They have it anyway but it's limited for downloads. Every weekend on Saturday and Sunday mornings Sujeet talks to them through google chat and uses the microphone so Kavi hears them and sometimes says hi to them. Once in awhile he uses the webcam so they can see Kavi. Sujeet also calls them sometimes during the week, while on break at work, with a really cheap online phone card plan he found.

We are blessed to be going a second time to India after Kavi is born. Airfare for the three of us was about $3400(including tax). Our lodging is free since we stay with my in laws. So our only major cost is the airfare. My inlaws moved to near Mumbai(Bombay) a couple years ago. They used to live in a different city that would be more time consuming to get to, and not as modern as Mumbai, so visiting them there might have been harder. They live in a safe area right now about an hour outside of Mumbai.

Edited March 3, 2010 by chri'stina

[Anna C. 4]

We skype(with video) about twice a week with my parents and they call about 4 to 5 times per week (they have a flatrate for 3 Euros per month for unlimited calling to the US). DSL is still way more expensive in Germany than in the US, they pay about 50 Euros per months for their DSL which is what we pay for cable. Ph well, they need it anyways for online shopping and so on. So Jona hears and sees them quite often. They also come for 4 weeks per year, next time in May/June and he loves spending time with them... We go once a year too for 4 weeks so overall they see each other in person for 8 weeks and then regularly via Skype. Mu husband's family is in San Francisco and we talk about 1-2 week or email pictures, my MIL isn't very technical minded and hasn't been using Skype much, but her mother (abuelita for us) loves skyping with Jona, so we do that about 3 times a month (she's a busy grandma, has a bowling team, still works, so well, she has to find time for skyping, but she als skypes with her relatives in Argentina and Slovakia, so she knows how all that stuff works). I still envy my sister who lives an hour from my parents and very often goes their for over the weekend. it's nice for the grandparents and also gives you as a parent a break. My SIL always complained how much work a baby is, but she has MIL (her mom) come over once a week to cook and clean and babysit, then her MIL comes twice a week to do the same and abuelita comes too with food. She also has a maid who comes twice a month and a gardener plus an occasional babysitter and the bi-weekly mother's helper (a junior high girl who plays with her daughter for a aocuple hours while she does other stuff in the house). We have nobody to help us and nobody to give us a break, and it's still doable. I wish though my parents were close by, just to play with him when I can get other stuff done.

[Susita 175]

Our living situation makes it REALLY easy for the boys to see grandma, she's upstairs

My mom is a single mom & I have a 15 year old sister as well. We split the house with my mom & pay rent. It just works out better that way. It helps her with the mortgage and bills, and we have A LOT of space for not so much money so we can save. We're in a great neighborhood and at this point buying a home would be seriously expensive and it wouldn't work for us. My mom is upstairs and we're downstairs. We have 2 bedrooms, a huge kitchen & living room and bathroom down here. We have more than enough space. Upstairs my mom has 3 bedrooms, living room, dining room & bathroom.

My mom works for the gov't too, she works the night shift until 1am, so someone is always in the house when my sister is home so this is a good thing. Also, Luis gets to do all the 'guy work' in the house At some point we will be moving out & buying our own home but we aren't rushing. I normally work opposite shifts from my mom so I only see her on weekends, and it's not like some families that never leave you alone, so this has worked out great.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Staashi@ that's too funyy, well I'm case Sofia looks very much like her daddy so ... and she got her grandpa's red hair (Plop), and yes my mami calls Sofia "mi hijita" -" mi bebita" that means my little girl and my little baby girl

Susita@ My in laws keep offering us the second floor from their house, they are renting it to a family but they are moving so they need to fill the space and Silvio is very positive that we will move there, but not in a hundred years. You got a good deal there with your family, babysitting, Luis helping around

Kelly@ Is your hubby able to go to his country to his his parents? that must be very hard for him.