It's SAD

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

My husband won't admit it but he is definitely suffering from SAD also some issues with isolation. He says Vitamin D does nothing for him so can't go that route any longer. While I wouldn't mind moving somewhere warmer, I have BIG issues with big cities - I like my isolated island.

The funny thing is I sent him an email 6 months before he got here and the TWO top issues that I told him I was concerned about: 1. Climate 2. Population

He understands that right now there is NO WAY we could relocate - money just isn't there, but he desperately wants to leave here and I adamently don't. Not sure what we're doing about it, but somewhere someone has to give.

[jundp 191]

Do you just not want to leave Whidbey or do you not want to leave this area? Because Sequim is relatively temperate. Not a lot of rainfall, more sunshine than the rest of the area....

Or what about closer to Oregon?

That's a toughie. You have to appreciate all he gave up to be here, but at the same time I know it's not easy for you to leave either.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

Do you just not want to leave Whidbey or do you not want to leave this area? Because Sequim is relatively temperate. Not a lot of rainfall, more sunshine than the rest of the area....

Or what about closer to Oregon?

That's a toughie. You have to appreciate all he gave up to be here, but at the same time I know it's not easy for you to leave either.

Whidbey is my home, we are living in the house I grew up in and running the small farm. When my parents pass the house will become mine. He wants MAJOR city like LA. While yes I do appreciate all he gave up to be here, I told him of my concerns MANY months and was told, "Don't worry, it's not a problem, I can live anywhere as long as it with you.", etc.

[Ban Hammer 12,901]

Whidbey is my home, we are living in the house I grew up in and running the small farm. When my parents pass the house will become mine. He wants MAJOR city like LA. While yes I do appreciate all he gave up to be here, I told him of my concerns MANY months and was told, "Don't worry, it's not a problem, I can live anywhere as long as it with you.", etc.

maybe have him watch "gangland" on history channel might change his mind.

[SweetBliss 0]

Dear Whidbey,

We had the exact problem with my husband living here in Michigan? He tried for almost 2 yrs and just couldnt do it, he is now back in his hot enviorment, and its been 40 days and im doing ok, we both made alot of sacrafices, him leaving his homeland and me financing his immigration. But in the end love was just not enough for us. anyway,I hope things will get better for you and your spouse...Hang in there and move if you can, I couldnt so Im alone.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

maybe have him watch "gangland" on history channel might change his mind.

He live in LA on Crenshaw for over 2 years.

K&L - I'm so sorry.

[ForeverAmen 0]

Whidbey,

Sorry for your struggles. Hopefully, you both will find some type of mutal compromise.

Take Care.

Boaz

Dear Whidbey,

We had the exact problem with my husband living here in Michigan? He tried for almost 2 yrs and just couldnt do it, he is now back in his hot enviorment, and its been 40 days and im doing ok, we both made alot of sacrafices, him leaving his homeland and me financing his immigration. But in the end love was just not enough for us. anyway,I hope things will get better for you and your spouse...Hang in there and move if you can, I couldnt so Im alone.

[idocare 3]

Whibey,

Think hard and long, then try removing yourself out of your situation and think of what advice you'd give to another that in that situation.

I have been to Whibey Island many years ago; I only went to the military base there but it seemed like a nice place. Now that he's here it's a problem living there for him.

You typed that he said it's not a problem living there when he was in his Country he just wanted to be with you. He has that now.

I have met many Alien women who would leave America for only some months to get away from their former spouse; then they come back to America but to a different State and start their lives without the sponsor.

I hope that other parts of your relationship is intact and solid. All the best to you both.

[attaya_girl 1]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you figure it out soon. Did your husband live in Dakar when he was in Senegal? If so, I can see how that would be a big adjustment. Are there any community activities that he can become involved in? English classes or a soccer team?

[sachinky 464]

It is sad. Most people don't consider the hard realities of moving and living in an alien culture/place. And actions always counter more than words. He has what he wanted -- living anywhere as long as you were there -- but funnily enough, turns out that's not what he wanted. Love is not always enough.

I do hope you're able to work something out. My best wishes.

[WhidbeyGirl 1]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you figure it out soon. Did your husband live in Dakar when he was in Senegal? If so, I can see how that would be a big adjustment. Are there any community activities that he can become involved in? English classes or a soccer team?

He lived in TambaCounda - over 100,000 people compared to less than 2,000 here. He also grew up in Lagos - big city. I think he just misjudged how hard it would be. Right now there isn't much to do here, I'm also an introvert and he is very extrovert - so I'm going to start extending myself some more and getting us out on the weekend even though I'd prefer to just stay home. We'll get through this, I'm sure of it.

[kayj 0]

He lived in TambaCounda - over 100,000 people compared to less than 2,000 here. He also grew up in Lagos - big city. I think he just misjudged how hard it would be. Right now there isn't much to do here, I'm also an introvert and he is very extrovert - so I'm going to start extending myself some more and getting us out on the weekend even though I'd prefer to just stay home. We'll get through this, I'm sure of it.

Thats the spirit!

[attaya_girl 1]

He lived in TambaCounda - over 100,000 people compared to less than 2,000 here. He also grew up in Lagos - big city. I think he just misjudged how hard it would be. Right now there isn't much to do here, I'm also an introvert and he is very extrovert - so I'm going to start extending myself some more and getting us out on the weekend even though I'd prefer to just stay home. We'll get through this, I'm sure of it.

That's the same thing for me-I'm such a home body, and it's hard to reconcile that with the very social nature of Senegalese culture.

[forchika 4]

Like that for me also.....love being home most times and my hubby is the opposite. He is very out going and social. When I feel the need to, I will make it a point to go out. I used to accompany him every where he went upon his arrival but now, he knows his way around. Hope you guys are able to reach an agreement, to move may not be a bad thing.

[chispas 0]

He live in LA on Crenshaw for over 2 years.

K&L - I'm so sorry.

Does he want to return to LA because he knows people there or its the weather he likes? Perhaps when he saves up enough money both of you can visit LA where he used to live as a way for him to know that even though you are on an island, there are times when you can get away for a short vacation.

Hope all works out