Therapy

[jordanianprincess 0]

None of my friends or family quite understand why I would go marry a man who lives half the world away. When I attempt to talk to one of them about it I get...well no one told you to go marry a man in another country OR you did it to yourself. Uh yeah, I realize that but you can't help who you fall in love with. So...If I actually had supportive friends or family members I wouldn't consider therapy. Yes, VJ does help but sometimes I want to discuss things with someone that I wouldn't feel comfortable posting online for the world to see.

Family, unfortunatl you can't do much about them. If your "friends" are not supportive, they are not your friends.

[Karen_L 1]

I haven't considered formal therapy -- instead, I talk about the visa process incessantly with everyone I know. It's cheaper

They let you do that? They definitely don't let me do that. Even my mother. Yesterday she said "why don't you just get married when you're visiting Rey in Brazil in September? Wouldn't that make things easier?" "Well," I started, "noooo....that would mean we'd have to-" but she already was walking away. She said she didn't want to even know. She accepts that that wasn't a good idea.

Without VJ I'd definitely need therapy!

LOL! I just start talking; everyone I know is too polite to tell me to stop, but I usually do when I see that 'glazed over' expression peel across the face ;-) Honestly, many people are interested in hearing about the process and surprised to learn how much actually goes into immigrating to the US. Most people think it's VERY simple -- apply to immigrate (meaning the immigrant him/herself -- no petition necessary; all you have to do is ask nicely), get accepted (in like a week, of course) and then it's "welcome to the USA!" So they're surprised to learn how difficult it is and how long it can take -- they're surprised my case took 6 months, and then I tell them MANY people have to wait much longer, and they're shocked.

[tmma 467]

Go for it if you think it will help you. If you feel that since starting this process, you've become increasingly depressed and anxious, then you might need professional help. A good place to get some info on providers in your area is www.nmha.org. They also offer online screening tools and lots of info.

Edit: Many places have community mental health centers that offering counseling for rates based on your income. Look into that if your insurance doesn't cover mental health issues or you're not insured.

OP-best wishes to you

[Alex+R 0]

I haven't considered formal therapy -- instead, I talk about the visa process incessantly with everyone I know. It's cheaper

They let you do that? They definitely don't let me do that. Even my mother. Yesterday she said "why don't you just get married when you're visiting Rey in Brazil in September? Wouldn't that make things easier?" "Well," I started, "noooo....that would mean we'd have to-" but she already was walking away. She said she didn't want to even know. She accepts that that wasn't a good idea.

Without VJ I'd definitely need therapy!

LOL! I just start talking; everyone I know is too polite to tell me to stop, but I usually do when I see that 'glazed over' expression peel across the face ;-) Honestly, many people are interested in hearing about the process and surprised to learn how much actually goes into immigrating to the US. Most people think it's VERY simple -- apply to immigrate (meaning the immigrant him/herself -- no petition necessary; all you have to do is ask nicely), get accepted (in like a week, of course) and then it's "welcome to the USA!" So they're surprised to learn how difficult it is and how long it can take -- they're surprised my case took 6 months, and then I tell them MANY people have to wait much longer, and they're shocked.

Hahaha yeah, and after they arrive after that week, they become U.S. citizens. I just explained this to my best friend yesterday who I had fallen out of touch with, and she said "so, doesn't he get citizenship when he gets here?" They think the green card is what they mail you to enter the U.S. After marriage you're an automatic citizen. HA. It's pretty funny.

[ya falaha! 0]

I have found that my co-workers are fascinated about the process and ask me occasionally how everything is going and when is Mohamed coming? When I explain things to them they can't believe how much is involved and how long it takes. Funny..the co-workers are more concerned and supportive than friends I've had since childhood. Go figure!

[Karen_L 1]

None of my friends or family quite understand why I would go marry a man who lives half the world away. When I attempt to talk to one of them about it I get...well no one told you to go marry a man in another country OR you did it to yourself. Uh yeah, I realize that but you can't help who you fall in love with. So...If I actually had supportive friends or family members I wouldn't consider therapy. Yes, VJ does help but sometimes I want to discuss things with someone that I wouldn't feel comfortable posting online for the world to see.

Ugh, I hear ya. My family has been really (and oddly) supportive, but my friends are a whole other story; I think after two years they STILL don't 'get' that my relationship with my fiance' isn't a silly fling. Ah well. My fiance' is three days away from arriving here and at this point, I couldn't care less what my friends think anymore.

But really, if you can't find anyone to talk to about this in your private life (as opposed to posting it on the forum, which IS very public, even if we are all pretty anonymous), maybe therapy IS a good idea a very close friend of mine goes to therapy and she tells me that it's a wonderful experience and that she has developed a very strong bond with her therapist and thinks of her more as a friend/confidante than as a professional doing her job.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Another one of my favorite forms of therapy...taking my aggression out of the Tread Mill

When I got stressed out last year waiting through the process, I set a goal to run a 5k. Getting out there and exercising lifted a lot of the weight off my shoulders.

[Reba 2]

They think the green card is what they mail you to enter the U.S. After marriage you're an automatic citizen. HA. It's pretty funny.

People I work(ed) with think that having a green card means the same thing as being a citizen.

the same people think that Canada is under snow and ice every day of the year

[Ban Hammer 14,566]

They think the green card is what they mail you to enter the U.S. After marriage you're an automatic citizen. HA. It's pretty funny.

People I work(ed) with think that having a green card means the same thing as being a citizen.

the same people think that Canada is under snow and ice every day of the year

it's a fact everyone in canada lives in an igloo and rides a snowmobile to work, avoiding the killer polar bears

[Reba 2]

well the polar bears wouldn't be killer if they weren't starving to death, the poor things

[Fischkoepfin 1]

well the polar bears wouldn't be killer if they weren't starving to death, the poor things

Don't mention global warning!

[iceyspots 0]

Thanks everyone I have my good days and bad just like everyone but somedays are so bad that I feel I can't handle things or function properly. Alhamdulillah I have good health insurance so I think I'll check into that website posted. Thanks again!

If you're close enough, we should get together one day and go walking and to the punching bags

Edited July 24, 2006 by iceyspots

[ya falaha! 0]

Yeah I could use a punching bag sometimes!

I live in Roseville and work in Bingham Farms...where are you?

Thanks everyone I have my good days and bad just like everyone but somedays are so bad that I feel I can't handle things or function properly. Alhamdulillah I have good health insurance so I think I'll check into that website posted. Thanks again!

If you're close enough, we should get together one day and go walking and to the punching bags

[CanGal 1]

I hear ya. I've contimplated it as well. My mom keeps telling me that it may be a good idea. My biggest fear is to be put on pills. I don't like the thought of that. I have good days and bad days. But same as the OP when i do have bad days they seem reaaaaal bad and like i'm about to fall apart. It's been really rough and when my hubby works alot on top of it he's not around alot so i'm very lonely.

[iceyspots 0]

Yeah I could use a punching bag sometimes!

I live in Roseville and work in Bingham Farms...where are you?

Thanks everyone I have my good days and bad just like everyone but somedays are so bad that I feel I can't handle things or function properly. Alhamdulillah I have good health insurance so I think I'll check into that website posted. Thanks again!

If you're close enough, we should get together one day and go walking and to the punching bags

Currently in Garden City (bordering dearborn heights), and going to move to Belleville in September when school re-starts.