Update from Leedah

[Ihavequestions 419]

I, too, have wondered about you and how you've been. Thanks for sharing with us and all the best to you.

[^KK^ 3]

I'm glad you are making it through this part of your life. Best wishes...I've read you story before. I admire you strength!!!!!!

[sasha414 0]

Leedah i truly admire how youve dealt with this and i think you have tremendous courage and strength. thank you for sharing your story, i still remember you from last year's batch. i wish you the best.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Leedah i truly admire how youve dealt with this and i think you have tremendous courage and strength. thank you for sharing your story, i still remember you from last year's batch. i wish you the best.

Leedah, your going to survive this and become much stronger. Your going to be okay, your alreay well on you way. Best wishes to you, and best of luck on your writting.

All the Best,

Paris Heart Beth

[Simply_Uno 1]

keep yo' head up Leedah!

a weak man has yet to learn that a strong woman is a strong mans resource during hard times and a blessing from God to be adored.

[pushbrk 12,209]

Wow your story was amazing. I'm happy that you are going to live out your dreams. I read your timeline, and I see where your soon to be ex just got here to the States. Was it his first time hitting you when he got here or was he beating you when you would visit him? He should be deported, and receive a life time ban after they send he punk butt to the penitentary, and becomes somebody woman. Any man that will hit on a woman will never fight a man.

In answer to your question:

It wasn't his first time. I would visit him and he would do it in subtle ways in the beginning.

Like if we were going somewhere and I was walking too slow for him (he's 6'1 & I'm 5'3), he would grab my hand and drag me along. (I thought it was just to make sure we could catch one of the taxi's that would speed by, but now I realized that none of the other men would treat their wives like that). Later on, it got progressively worse and of course my denial of how he was treating me progressed as well.

Withstanding all that, I stayed because I figured that he was acting that way due to him not having any experience with women (he was a virgin though we are close to the same age), traveling or just plain being a man. I thought he would change once he got to the U.S. and saw that it is more civilized in terms of how women should be treated. This is also what his whole family and his friends told me. Big mistake. People don't change unless they want to.

As for him getting deported, I'm not sure what will happen on that. He doesn't have any evidence of us living together and I've already sent info to uscis regarding this whole shebang (including documentation of the arrest, no violent contact order from judge, victim letter, info on pending divorce, etc). I doubt he cares about any of that or will even remove conditions. I think he is just hanging in and working as much as he can for money until they come looking for him or he finds a way to keep his status some other way.

Maybe pushbrk can give some insight on what he thinks. Somebody pm him to come visit this section and lend his expertise.

Anyway, I got out and am happy for it.

I'm not sure I'm the best to provide insight. The mermaid might be a better choice. However, it's my understanding the conditional resident only needs to show evidence he entered the marriage in good faith, to remove conditions based on the marriage, even when divorced. As bad as his behavior in the marriage may have been, it appears the marriage was entered into in good faith.

The criminal conviction itself might be his undoing as LPR's (conditional or not) can be deported or denied removal of conditions based on their criminal records. For the most part, the sponsoring spouse need only tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

[Leedah 22]

I went to court this morning.

When called, I said I was present and my husband was their with his crazy cousin (I call him the Instigator). Also, a woman stood up and said she was representing my husband and was his lawyer.

The lawyer tried to say that it was a short, cut and dry case and that we both just wanted the divorce. (not so fast sistah, lol).

The judge cut her off and said that this case was going to trial and that their were other issues in the case that had to be solved.

She immediately sat down and we were called later.

When presenting my case, the judge went over the amount that my husband was owing me. I had asked for him to pay half of $4000. (the amount that accued on bills while I was trying to get him over to the u.s. and having to fly back and forth to him).

My landlord spoke on my behalf and also vouched that my husband had said that he would pay his bill and was going to "take care of his wife" as soon as he got here and found employment. At that point, the courtroom was silent.

The judge made a statement that my husband would have to pay half of that $4000. ($2000).

Then the lawyer said that their were no issues relating to cruel treatment.

The judge said no. And that he was going to rule on the cruel treatment ground on thursday after he heard it, but he was not going to just dismiss that ground just because the lawyer said so. We are going back for that part of the trial on Thursday at 1:30pm.

What a great day!

I was nervous going to court with no lawyer and doubly so when I saw my husband had gotten one, but the truth is finally prevailing! I think the lawyer was trying to avoid showing the cruel treatment on my soon to be ex's part so that he would have a way to adjust his status when the time comes. Too bad. He better catch a flight home and go try to abuse someone else.

YAY! The law is prevailing so far.

[MNCouple 3]

Hi all.

I posted on here awhile back regarding my situation. (search me for back info).

Well, I go for my divorce hearing on Tuesday and will be requesting an annulment (if that is even possible since it's initially a divorce petition). The clerk said that since I am doing this all pro se, I will just speak with the judge and make all my requests when we get in front of the judge.

I haven't seen my spouse since June and have everything in order to finish the hearing.

As for me, I've realized my passion to become a writer. I am now officially a freelance writer and also got a position as a writer for a nationally known company.

So, in spite of the drama, something GREAT came of all this mess.

I am blessed.

Thank you all for your words and support.

Leedah

Well, it sounds like things on the relationship front are heading in the direction you want. I wish you the best and hope you are feeling some closure and peace to what has happened.

With that said, congrats to you Leedah the Magnificent Writer

[anitacastillo 0]

Leedah -

Congrats on moving in the right direction and showing your strength -- keep it up!!

Glad to hear you have a reasonable judge.

[3600rs 24]

And lots of hugs.

you go girl!

[Leedah 22]

Went to court Thursday.

Due to a case before us taking awhile (both husband and the wife are lawyers and fighting over custody), the judge reschedule my case for sometime in October. He is also presiding over a murder case and is busy.

Sooo, no news for now.

Found out the lawyer for my soon to be ex hasn't filed an entry of appearance or anything, but has represented him twice and won't cooperate at all. also is advising him to hammer me with the divorce just to stay here as long as possible. How is this legal. the lawyer is saying "we" just want a divorce to the judge and their is no cruel treatment issues in the marriage to rule on. if it was just a marriage broken, it would be a live and learn. but this nut is trying to use the divorce case to keep his conditional card after assaulting me and dragging my family through all this mess. good grief. why can't he just go home and find someone else to scam to come back, if he can. he is already charged with a felony,so he probably will be deported on GP anyway. ugh.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Went to court Thursday.

Due to a case before us taking awhile (both husband and the wife are lawyers and fighting over custody), the judge reschedule my case for sometime in October. He is also presiding over a murder case and is busy.

Sooo, no news for now.

Found out the lawyer for my soon to be ex hasn't filed an entry of appearance or anything, but has represented him twice and won't cooperate at all. also is advising him to hammer me with the divorce just to stay here as long as possible. How is this legal. the lawyer is saying "we" just want a divorce to the judge and their is no cruel treatment issues in the marriage to rule on. if it was just a marriage broken, it would be a live and learn. but this nut is trying to use the divorce case to keep his conditional card after assaulting me and dragging my family through all this mess. good grief. why can't he just go home and find someone else to scam to come back, if he can. he is already charged with a felony,so he probably will be deported on GP anyway. ugh.

His lawyer's job is to represent her client vigorously, and that's what she's doing. Don't take it personally. My ex-wife also had a shark for a lawyer. Even my ex-wife was embarrassed by her attorney's behavior in court. We were sitting in the hallway outside the courtroom one day while my attorney was in chambers with the judge, and my wife's attorney looked at me and said "I think we're going to get a final settlement today". I said "Good. We've been working at this settlement for over a year". She smiled and said "Yes, I'm going to take everything you've got".

She didn't - not even close! She got what I offered, and no more!

Hang in there. It sounds like the judge is not going to let this attorney walk over you, no matter how hard she's trying to.