NVC September - 2009 Edition

[mrsemcee 1]

In any case - if anxiety and addiction/obsession persist - please see a therapist ASAP, it may get much worse and change your personality into unrecognizable state

Well... If getting to the United States will make you change your personality and cause you depression, in my hopinion is not worth it... Mind is well stay where you are, healt for me is the main concern....

Everyone here is just getting frustrated, specially because most of us have been married for several years, and there's really absolutely no reason why the Government gives you the right to do it, but make you wast at least a year in this limbo situation, and plus, to get some information you really have to beg on your knees.... THat's just not fair....

My advice is :"IF THIS WHOLE THING CAUSES ANYONE HEALT OR PSYCHO PROBLEM, leave it alone, you can be happy no matter where you are"

Just my 2 cents

i dont agree. of course this is going to affect us all. and i for one have been anxious and depressed at times, more so lately, but there is no way i am giving up on my future happiness or let this beat me, or our relationship...

so no, dont give up, think about the future.. dont give up.

my health has definitely suffered but it IS worth it to me. to finally be with my husband.

[Feliz 0]

here is just getting frustrated, specially because most of us have been married for several years, and there's really absolutely no reason why the Government gives you the right to do it, but make you wast at least a year in this limbo situation, and plus, to get some information you really have to beg on your knees.... THt's just not fair....

when i was waiting for cr1 5 years ago for 10 month, just nvc took 4 month, i remember long threads about justice and government - just remember during ww2 US govt locked up japanese descent people by thousands - just for having japanese ancestors. Government and justice unfortunately is not realistic combination.

I think whats really unfair is that after cranking up fees in 2008 (and causing July 2008 backlog which caused my n400 to pend for a year) the NVC didnt use the enormous available funds to cancel avr and switch to online status reports, its same system as 5 years ago, probably hasnt chNged for last 10-20 years.

[Feliz 0]

it took me almost 5 years instead of 3.5 from greencard to naturalization - all i am trying to say- dont spend all ur nervs on nvc, leave some for the 3-5 years ahead. Get busy, plan your career in US

anxiety in animals is given to temporarily raise energy to solve the problem, but humans often try to wear off the extra energy by obsessing over some innocent thing, therefore creating visious circle

especially exersise clears mind and burns fat

[NotworkSte 19]

Well... If getting to the United States will make you change your personality and cause you depression, in my hopinion is not worth it... Mind is well stay where you are, healt for me is the main concern....

Everyone here is just getting frustrated, specially because most of us have been married for several years, and there's really absolutely no reason why the Government gives you the right to do it, but make you wast at least a year in this limbo situation, and plus, to get some information you really have to beg on your knees.... THat's just not fair....

My advice is :"IF THIS WHOLE THING CAUSES ANYONE HEALT OR PSYCHO PROBLEM, leave it alone, you can be happy no matter where you are"

Just my 2 cents

That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. My opinion is you are wrong and out of line.

I think you will find most peoples objective here is not one of simply "getting to the united states" but rather to finally be joined with the people they have fallen in love with and chosen to spend the rest of their lives with, to finally wake up every morning and that person be there. I can't understand your attitude since you're going through the K3 process, everyone is different and able to handle this process better or worse. Just because you can handle this process better is no reason to pompously come on and bold a statement telling others they should be happy where they are. Remember it's not just this process that causes the stress, but the separation, and as the process throws up stumbling blocks it makes the separation longer - and with no definite end date. That's a hard hard thing to live with.

This is a forum for people to share experiences with, we're allowed to ###### and moan and cry and complain, that's what we're here for each other for, since most people we come across every day don't reallt understand what we are going through.

That is my 2 cents.

[sachinky 464]

I agree. I think for all of us, handling the process (ie. the paperwork) would be a lot easier if we were WITH our SO's while we were doing it. It's the separation along with the uncertainty that gets to me. I could handle it if they said, okay this entire process will take 3 months or 8 months and I'd be okay, knowing that. This living your life in limbo is unbearable.

[spectheintro 18]

Do you know what makes the process even better? When the embassy you're trying to call WON'T PICK UP THE PHONE AND WON'T RESPOND TO E-MAILS. I have an incredibly simple question that I can't get an answer to because no one will talk to me. Words cannot describe how frustrated I am.

[mrsemcee 1]

That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. My opinion is you are wrong and out of line.

I think you will find most peoples objective here is not one of simply "getting to the united states" but rather to finally be joined with the people they have fallen in love with and chosen to spend the rest of their lives with, to finally wake up every morning and that person be there. I can't understand your attitude since you're going through the K3 process, everyone is different and able to handle this process better or worse. Just because you can handle this process better is no reason to pompously come on and bold a statement telling others they should be happy where they are. Remember it's not just this process that causes the stress, but the separation, and as the process throws up stumbling blocks it makes the separation longer - and with no definite end date. That's a hard hard thing to live with.

This is a forum for people to share experiences with, we're allowed to ###### and moan and cry and complain, that's what we're here for each other for, since most people we come across every day don't reallt understand what we are going through.

That is my 2 cents.

thank you so much for posting this. i dont have the strength right now to reply like you did, but your reply was like a section from my brain!!

Do you know what makes the process even better? When the embassy you're trying to call WON'T PICK UP THE PHONE AND WON'T RESPOND TO E-MAILS. I have an incredibly simple question that I can't get an answer to because no one will talk to me. Words cannot describe how frustrated I am.

that is CRAAPPPY!!! i am so lucky the sydney embassy is so lovely and email back straight away. i cant even begin to imagine how frustrated you must be spec... xxxx

[Twisted K 2]

congratz feliz on your login fail

[FreddY2081 0]

Well... If getting to the United States will make you change your personality and cause you depression, in my hopinion is not worth it... Mind is well stay where you are, healt for me is the main concern....

Everyone here is just getting frustrated, specially because most of us have been married for several years, and there's really absolutely no reason why the Government gives you the right to do it, but make you wast at least a year in this limbo situation, and plus, to get some information you really have to beg on your knees.... THat's just not fair....

My advice is :"IF THIS WHOLE THING CAUSES ANYONE HEALT OR PSYCHO PROBLEM, leave it alone, you can be happy no matter where you are"

Just my 2 cents

That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. My opinion is you are wrong and out of line.

I think you will find most peoples objective here is not one of simply "getting to the united states" but rather to finally be joined with the people they have fallen in love with and chosen to spend the rest of their lives with, to finally wake up every morning and that person be there. I can't understand your attitude since you're going through the K3 process, everyone is different and able to handle this process better or worse. Just because you can handle this process better is no reason to pompously come on and bold a statement telling others they should be happy where they are. Remember it's not just this process that causes the stress, but the separation, and as the process throws up stumbling blocks it makes the separation longer - and with no definite end date. That's a hard hard thing to live with.

This is a forum for people to share experiences with, we're allowed to ###### and moan and cry and complain, that's what we're here for each other for, since most people we come across every day don't reallt understand what we are going through.

That is my 2 cents.

I know, and I respect other people's complains, like I also complained more than one time, but I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself right... Me and my wife lived together in Italy for as long as 8 years, so we have been together all the time of our relationship, and we were going on well enough to live a decent life here... But at the end of the day, she always wanted to go there and try it out, and after 8 years that we have been here, trying there was the littlest thing I could have done to give it the benefit of the doubt, and come to the US to see if our lives can get better, and even our children's...

I was not saying that it is easy, or that noone should complain about it, Im the first one to complain, I'm just saying that, if by going thrught this process will make you miserable, and depress, you are absolutely not going to make your life better by moving to the United States, menthal healt and in general one person's healt is more important than anything, because if you make it trought and finally get together with the person that you love, but you are not able to live your life in a good way.... What's the point? I'm sorry, but, between the reasons that made me and my family do this, there is the problem that my wife always had to relate to other people here, and in general to be happy in this place, but not because we had work problems, or money problems or whatever, our lives were ok here, but seeing that we both know that I won't have a problem getting used to a different place than mine, well, let's try it.... But you see, she was not good here, but I didnt think not even for a split second to send her to an analyst.. I know what was the problem and we faced it together....

Said all this, is clear what was my answer all about, I belive that if you know what is the problem face it, you dont need an analyst... and plus, most of everybody here is at a good point of the journey, and im sure everybody can make it without serious issues... After all, we have been waiting for months at the USCIS without knowing absolutely anything that now should be kinda easier.....

My 2 cents and a half

Do you know what makes the process even better? When the embassy you're trying to call WON'T PICK UP THE PHONE AND WON'T RESPOND TO E-MAILS. I have an incredibly simple question that I can't get an answer to because no one will talk to me. Words cannot describe how frustrated I am.

To call to Naples consulate you need to spend as low as 15€ for each question you have, because after 8 minutes the call gets cut off, and all the introduction messages will last at least 7 minutes

[FreddY2081 0]

I agree. I think for all of us, handling the process (ie. the paperwork) would be a lot easier if we were WITH our SO's while we were doing it. It's the separation along with the uncertainty that gets to me. I could handle it if they said, okay this entire process will take 3 months or 8 months and I'd be okay, knowing that. This living your life in limbo is unbearable.

I know, and I define myself very lucky on one hand, because my wife left here aug 14th, but on the other end when I go there, I will have a very tought time finding a job and supporting mu whole family (pregnant wife, 18 months baby and a labrador)...

But I know we'll make it

[hindocha 0]

I dream of the day I'm back with my Wife in USA.

[FreddY2081 0]

it took me almost 5 years instead of 3.5 from greencard to naturalization - all i am trying to say- dont spend all ur nervs on nvc, leave some for the 3-5 years ahead. Get busy, plan your career in US

anxiety in animals is given to temporarily raise energy to solve the problem, but humans often try to wear off the extra energy by obsessing over some innocent thing, therefore creating visious circle

especially exersise clears mind and burns fat

I like this... but it seems that im not burning any fat...

Im still working at my job, packing all the stuff in the house (facing years of rememberings) and still helping my wife renting a house there, making some connections for my career there, following my own immigration process...

But maybe your right... Probably I can handle the stress more than a lot of people.....

My quote is:"Always think about the bright side of things"

Sorry, I didnt mean to offend anybody :innocent:

[mrsemcee 1]

you didnt offend me but i just dont think that it is fair to say that reasons why people are down or anxious are underlying things that mean they dont want to live in America or whatever it may be.

i for one, cannot WAIT to get there and i have never felt more at home than i did when i was in good old Kentucky with hubby

[NotworkSte 19]

The closer I get to approval the more impatient I think I become. I was so laid back about the whole thing when C submitted i-130. Now I'm getting stressed at the slightest delay. I guess it's because we're so close now, when Cindy, Josie and I have our 3 ways chats, our plans seem more real as they are closer.

I can't wait to get there either. I'm not overly fussed about moving to Tampa from Scotland, but I cannot wait to be with my family for real and even when I think about it my heart starts to beat a little faster

[FreddY2081 0]

The closer I get to approval the more impatient I think I become. I was so laid back about the whole thing when C submitted i-130. Now I'm getting stressed at the slightest delay. I guess it's because we're so close now, when Cindy, Josie and I have our 3 ways chats, our plans seem more real as they are closer.

I can't wait to get there either. I'm not overly fussed about moving to Tampa from Scotland, but I cannot wait to be with my family for real and even when I think about it my heart starts to beat a little faster

It's happening to me too... FInally after years of insecurity we are actually thinking about the future, and this feels so good, that all the problems and the stress are easier to face